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Blogs > GraceStillAmazes > Amanda's Occasional Musings > Sep 21, 2008
Amanda's Occasional Musings
  
Random thoughts, unrestrained meanderings, occasional rants, and joyful enthusiasm.

My Faithful Father, Enduring Friend
Your tender Mercy is like a river with no wind
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your Presence
I stand in wonder once again

(chorus)
Your Grace still amazes me
Your Love is still a mystery
Each day i fall on my knees
'Cause Your Grace still amazes me

Oh Patient Savior, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You? Lord what can I say?
I know there's no way to repay You
Only to offer You my praise

Your Grace still amazes me
Your Love is still a mystery
Each day i fall on my knees
'Cause Your Grace still amazes me

Its deeper, its wider, its stronger, its higher
Its deeper, its wider, its stronger, its higher
Than anything my eyes can see

Your Grace still amazes me
Your Love is still a mystery
Each day i fall on my knees
'Cause Your Grace still amazes me
Your Grace...still AMAZES me.

P.S. My name isn't really "Grace". But don't tell anyone, cause we're supposed to be traveling incognito here, and it's a big secret.

P.P.S. Just because heaven is a gated community, doesn't mean that God is a republican!
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A wounded and broken heart Sep 21, 2008 9:45 am
Mood: Thoughtful, 267 Views


This past week housed a painful anniversary for me; the ending of a 2 year on-and-off relationship with someone I genuinely loved. But that occasion isn’t really important, not so much as the the result anyway. The result was a wounded and broken heart.

How does a broken heart heal? I know that nothing on this Earth has the power to heal the heart. Only Dad can, if I allow Him to. However, I have this nasty habit of giving things over to Him, then snatching them back. Yep, that’s me!

Soooo…multiple times I’ve said, “Here, Dad. Here is my heart. It’s wounded and broken and I can’t fix it. Will you take it?” And He does.

Then a day or so later, there I am with it back in my hands. I’m brooding over it, nursing it, weeping over it, throwing it pity parties, going over in my mind the question of what went wrong—what did I do?..could I have done anything to change the outcome?....could I still change it?....and pretty much focusing my entire being on it. Oh, Dad is still there patiently waiting for me to stop my foolishness and hand it back to Him; but I generally persist or repeat the cycle. How dumb is that?

I almost made the mistake of trying to replace the broken relationship with another right away, but thankfully I didn’t. That would have been so unfair. One cannot give a broken heart to another. We focus on ourselves and what we have lost when we are nursing a broken heart. Comparisons will be made between the new “love” and the old; and we, or at least I, tend to see the old through rose-colored glasses, so the new “love” will always come up short. Always!

So I decided to give myself time. Time to learn not to snatch back my heart; but to truly allow Dad to heal it. Time to find out what I really, truly want in a mate. Time to find out if I even really want a mate. Time to press into God and find out if HE wants me to have a mate. Over 20 years is a long time to be single, but what if I remain single because that is Dad’s plan for me? I don’t want to step out of His Will; even though unmarried isn’t really how I want to spend the rest of my life. Or maybe I’m just single because I’m so screwed up in the head and heart that I wouldn’t be a good mate? Maybe Dad isn’t planning to inflict THAT on one of His precious sons? I think being a good mate is probably even more important than having a good mate.

I don’t know the answers. All I know for sure is that no man can heal a broken heart. Only Dad can……if I let him.

"Jesus--He meets you where you are
Jesus--He heals your secret scars
All the love you're longing for is
Jesus--The friend of a wounded heart"
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