Random thoughts, unrestrained meanderings, occasional rants, and joyful enthusiasm. My Faithful Father, Enduring Friend Your tender Mercy is like a river with no wind It overwhelms me, covers my sin Each time I come into Your Presence I stand in wonder once again
(chorus) Your Grace still amazes me Your Love is still a mystery Each day i fall on my knees 'Cause Your Grace still amazes me
Oh Patient Savior, You make me whole You are the Author and the Healer of my soul What can I give You? Lord what can I say? I know there's no way to repay You Only to offer You my praise
Your Grace still amazes me Your Love is still a mystery Each day i fall on my knees 'Cause Your Grace still amazes me
Its deeper, its wider, its stronger, its higher Its deeper, its wider, its stronger, its higher Than anything my eyes can see
Your Grace still amazes me Your Love is still a mystery Each day i fall on my knees 'Cause Your Grace still amazes me Your Grace...still AMAZES me.
P.S. My name isn't really "Grace". But don't tell anyone, cause we're supposed to be traveling incognito here, and it's a big secret.
P.P.S. Just because heaven is a gated community, doesn't mean that God is a republican!
Private messages, prayer requests, concerns, read me the riot act, set me up with your brother's wife's niece's cousin's boyfriend's best friend (please please please please please --). Just between you, me and the fencepost.
I spent the past weekend with a friend in the Seattle area. It was a complete joy. We had fun, we enjoyed God’s beautiful creation together, we worshipped together, and I was treated to a lovely celebration of a special day. And to think that I almost didn’t make it; what a loss that would have been.
Saturday, we walked in the beautiful sunshine on a rocky beach at Puget Sound, sat on a drift log, and talked about everything and nothing. Then we had a light supper at the Seattle Center (home of the Space Needle) after a hunt for a parking spot that turned into a scenic tour of downtown. LOL!
After that we celebrated my 12th “Re-birthday” complete with incredibly rich, dark chocolate cake and French vanilla ice cream (the only decent accompaniment to chocolate cake!) AND the singing of 2 different versions of “Happy Birthday to you”. This was followed by a marathon of Star Trek (yes, we are both unabashed Sci-Fi freaks, especially Star Trek.) The rules were “the first one to fall asleep has to sleep on the couch”. But we both cried “uncle” at the same time.
Sunday morning (my actual birthday in the Lord), we went to a delightful little church where I was instantly welcomed and made to feel like part of the family. We joyfully sang worship music that I hadn’t heard in a long time, but knew by heart; and I reveled in a special time with the Lord and His fellow children. This was followed by lunch and a long walk in a park by a beautiful lake and more talking together about everything and nothing, hopes, dreams, aspirations, experiences, attitudes about life and love, and our walks with the Lord. I don’t know how long we sat there, but it was wonderful and sweet, and I felt so blessed. We stayed long enough to make me late starting home; yet we still sat on the small porch laughing and talking for a while longer. I was sent off with warm laughter and hugs; and it was so worth driving home with the sun in my eyes and then in darkness.
I was greeted at home with a warm hug from my wonderful roomie/BFF and overwhelming excitement from our two gorgeous dogs. The cats ignored me, of course. The staff must be punished for daring to take off for 36 hours!
What a blessing from Dad it is to have dear friends that love Him too; who understand how special the anniversary of the day I discovered that God’s Love is extended even to me is, and will celebrate it with me. Wonderful, sweet, and rare. Thank you, Dad! And thank you, my super special friend! Oh, and a special thank you to my super-duper BFF/roomie for holding down the fort so I could take a couple of days off.
I’ve been doing internet dating for 2 ½ years now, off and on. In that time I’ve noted a recurring theme. It captured my attention more and more with the passage of time, and for a while I found it fascinating. It is common to all the sites I’ve been to; and there have been a lot.
I haven’t met many men at all during that time. 6 to be exact. They all had something in common. It has nothing to do with looks; they ranged from 5’3” tall to 6” 8” tall; and they ranged from devastatingly handsome to faces only a mother could love. It had nothing to do with education. One had a PhD, another barely finished high school, the others fell pretty evenly in between. It had nothing to do with career field. That ranged from college professor to retired Coast Guard attending community college to career grocery stocker. It had nothing to do with income. They ranged from about $14,000 per year to upwards of $250,000. What was this miraculous trait that captured my attention? They made the effort. That’s all. They sent an email, they asked to meet and made the drive. But that one thing is incredibly rare.
A lot of what I see is men waiting for women to just jump into their laps. It ranges the gamut of “You have to come to me where ever I am, because I won’t make the effort to come to you”, to “I won’t pay 5 or 6 bucks a month to send emails, I expect the lady to pay for the privilege of writing to me, AND she has to make the first move too!” I have seen men write that in their personal profiles. “I’m not a paying member, so you have to email me”!
Jacob found Rachel, he got to know her a little, and decided she was his future wife. He loved Rachel so much that he worked 14 years to make that reality; persisting even though he was defrauded after already working 7. He put in 7 more. Why? Because she was worth it. How wonderful it must be to know that you are worth that much to your husband!
Boaz loved Ruth so much that he made sure she was provided for before she knew he existed, then cleared a legal obstacle so that he could make her his wife. She was worth it!
My daughter is now preparing to marry the love of her life---in New Jersey. He thought she was worth crossing a continent for…several times. And he did! He put his money, time, and effort where his mouth is. He decided to win her heart whatever it took. He did it, too. Because he made sure she knew she was worth it.
My other daughter is building a life with a young man who traveled half-way across the US to be with her. The girl is blooming. Why? Because she knows that to him, she is worth it.
I know men that will travel 1,000 miles to go fishing or hunting, but won’t take their ladies to the beach an hour away. I know men that will spend $500 and travel 300 miles to attend a concert but won’t spend $50 or travel more than 25 miles to meet someone who might have been the love of their lives.
I had a man tell me that he’d come see me if I was within 30 miles; but, well…..50 is “quite a drive”. Wow, I felt so cherished and wanted. Needless to say, I never saw him again.
A woman needs to know that she is valued, wanted, treasured...worth something to the man she considers giving her heart to. It is the way we are made. We also know that men do not value that which is handed to them on a platter. God didn't make men that way; he created men to value that which they put effort into obtaining..whether that be a wife, a career, or a Harley. We know that you work to obtain what you cherish; and we know you work to maintain it. We have seen you waxing your cars!
Guys, don’t you WANT a wife worth working 14 years for? Don’t you WANT a lady worth crossing oceans and continents for?? Guess what makes her worth that.
You wouldn’t cross an ocean for the love of a woman??? Oh...... you wouldn’t cross the street for it?
Well, there’s yer problem……….
“A man who finds a wife finds a treasure; and receives favor from the Lord.” Prov. 18:22 NLT
This past week housed a painful anniversary for me; the ending of a 2 year on-and-off relationship with someone I genuinely loved. But that occasion isn’t really important, not so much as the the result anyway. The result was a wounded and broken heart.
How does a broken heart heal? I know that nothing on this Earth has the power to heal the heart. Only Dad can, if I allow Him to. However, I have this nasty habit of giving things over to Him, then snatching them back. Yep, that’s me!
Soooo…multiple times I’ve said, “Here, Dad. Here is my heart. It’s wounded and broken and I can’t fix it. Will you take it?” And He does.
Then a day or so later, there I am with it back in my hands. I’m brooding over it, nursing it, weeping over it, throwing it pity parties, going over in my mind the question of what went wrong—what did I do?..could I have done anything to change the outcome?....could I still change it?....and pretty much focusing my entire being on it. Oh, Dad is still there patiently waiting for me to stop my foolishness and hand it back to Him; but I generally persist or repeat the cycle. How dumb is that?
I almost made the mistake of trying to replace the broken relationship with another right away, but thankfully I didn’t. That would have been so unfair. One cannot give a broken heart to another. We focus on ourselves and what we have lost when we are nursing a broken heart. Comparisons will be made between the new “love” and the old; and we, or at least I, tend to see the old through rose-colored glasses, so the new “love” will always come up short. Always!
So I decided to give myself time. Time to learn not to snatch back my heart; but to truly allow Dad to heal it. Time to find out what I really, truly want in a mate. Time to find out if I even really want a mate. Time to press into God and find out if HE wants me to have a mate. Over 20 years is a long time to be single, but what if I remain single because that is Dad’s plan for me? I don’t want to step out of His Will; even though unmarried isn’t really how I want to spend the rest of my life. Or maybe I’m just single because I’m so screwed up in the head and heart that I wouldn’t be a good mate? Maybe Dad isn’t planning to inflict THAT on one of His precious sons? I think being a good mate is probably even more important than having a good mate.
I don’t know the answers. All I know for sure is that no man can heal a broken heart. Only Dad can……if I let him.
"Jesus--He meets you where you are Jesus--He heals your secret scars All the love you're longing for is Jesus--The friend of a wounded heart"
What an odd place to which I have been brought. I have no analogies, no funny stories, no personal revelations, or words of wisdom. Imagine...me, with nothing to say.
I sit in a place of stillness. Just quiet waiting. No anticipation or expectation of anything. Just stillness. How strange it feels. I wonder what Dad is doing.
Kristy, her dad, Jim, and I are just home from a 10 day road trip to Montana, where I got to meet some of her delightful relatives and was lovingly accepted as part of the family.
While I was gone, my car broke down while my daughter was using it. Turns out I got a tank-full of diesel, and my car does NOT run on diesel. I have the receipt to prove it is NOT our fault! We pumped in "regular". Now I am so looking forward to fighting with Shell oil over getting repairs done. PPPFFFFFFFTTTTTTHHHHHTTTTTTTT!
I am still called to press even closer to Dad, and I don't know when I will be posting regularly again, but I'm home, I'm being blessed, and I am praying for you, my friends.
I am experiencing a new thing. There is a deep restlessness in my heart. It is not malcontent or dissatisfaction with life. I am happy with where I am. No, it is more; it is deeper. There is an aching loneliness right now, but not of the type that one usually associates with the word. I have deep friendships and family that satisfy my need to relate on an Earthly plane. It’s beyond that. It cannot be filled by the touch of a human being, however beloved they are to me.
I feel called to press into Dad; to seek His will; to focus deeply upon Him; to be held within His Arms; to dance with Him to His music; to become closer than ever; to know Him and be known. Not that He does not already know me to the depths of my heart; I know that He does. He knows me more deeply than I know myself. I mean a deliberate effort to be transparent before Him, to deliberately reveal my heart of hearts to Him and thus to myself. I feel called to “come away” with Him; to immerse myself in Him. I do not know for how long. It could be for a day or for months. However long He holds me is however long I will be there.
The past several months have been very difficult. I am weary. I need a time of renewal and refreshing in my Father’s presence. For the duration, I will not be here. I know not where this journey will take me, but I do know that I must take it. May His Love carry you all deeper into faith and joy.
I don’t know how long we sat there, but it was wonderful and sweet, and I felt so blessed. We stayed long enough to make me late starting home; yet we still sat on the small porch laughing and talking for a while longer. I was sent off with warm laughter and hugs; and it was so worth driving home with the sun in my eyes and then in darkness.
