| Thought For The Day |
Jul 30, 2006 3:09 pm
148 Views |  | "You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life." Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful. |
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| Everything Has A Gender |
Jul 30, 2006 1:17 pm
169 Views |  | You may not know this but many nonliving things have a gender.
Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it
takes a while to warm them up again. It's an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
A Tire is Male, because it goes bald and it's often over-inflated.
A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
Sponges are Female, because they're soft,
squeezable and retain water.
A Web Page is Female, because it's always
getting hit on.
A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old
lines to pick people up.
An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the
weight shifts to the bottom
A Hammer is Male, because it hasn't changed
much over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd
be male , didn't you? But consider this - it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying! |
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| Today's Stock Market Results Are In. |
Jul 30, 2006 7:41 am
154 Views |  | They are as follows. . .
Helium was up, feathers were down.
Paper was stationery.
Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading.
Knives were up sharply.
Cows steered into a bull market.
Pencils lost a few points.
Hiking equipment was trailing.
Elevators rose, while escalators continued their slow decline.
Weights were up in heavy trading.
Light switches were off.
Mining equipment hit rock bottom.
Diapers remain unchanged.
Shipping lines stayed at an even keel.
The market for raisins dried up.
Caterpillar stock inched up a bit.
Sun peaked at midday.
Balloon prices were inflated.
And Scott Tissue touched a new bottom. |
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| You Might Be A School Emplyee If..... |
Jul 30, 2006 12:20 am
184 Views |  | 1. You believe the cafeteria should be equipped with a Ritalin salt lick.
2. You want to slap the next person that says "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:30 and have summers off."
3. You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
4. You believe report cards should have their own boxes for "shallow gene pool" and "beat this child".
5. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today!"
6. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at kids you do not know and correct their behavior.
7. You have no social life between August and June.
8. Marking all A's on report cards would make your life SO much easier.
9. You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
10. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
11. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the Teachers' Room as the LOUNGE.
12. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into charter schools or home schooling.
13. You can't have children because there is no NAME you can give your child that wouldn't bring on HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE when you hear it.
14. You think caffeine should be available in an intravenous form.
15. You know you are in for a major project when a parent says, "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun".
16. Meeting a student's parent instantly answers the question "WHY IS THIS CHILD LIKE THIS?" |
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| Dealing With Trials And Tribulations |
Jul 29, 2006 5:11 pm
214 Views |  | We all go through Trials and Tribulations. That is just a part of life. But through it all, God promises us that He will neither leave us nor forsake us. God wants us to grow closer to Christ and God does this through the trials. As He teaches us though we must be in a position to respond to what He is saying.
In order to do this though there are several things that we must be able to do. You must be willing to follow God's way and God's way only. I am guilty of this as I get tired of waiting for God to answer and I believe that I am doing what God wants me to do but when I look back on the situation I realize that i had acted on my own and not with what God had wanted for me.
We must yield and be willing to be taught by God. As I said earlier God uses the trials and tribs to teach us something. The lesson will be different for each of us depending upon where we are at in our walk with God. God knows the best way to instill wisdom and may choose pain and trouble as the place of instruction.
You have to commit yourselves to God's way. We are all helpless without the power of God. The bible says that we are to walk by faith and not by sight.
I don't believe any of us enjoy the trials and tribs that we go through. A lot of things that we try to avoid turns out to be the thing that we really needed.
God wants you to yield to Him. God wants you to have a tender heart. God wants to be able to teach you. Are you this type of person? |
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| Did You Thank God Today? |
Jul 29, 2006 3:49 pm
185 Views |  | I know I am very guilty of this and I hope that you are not. Anyway I look back and I think of the many times that I dwell on my problems and get into the "why me" mode and I forget to thank God for all the wonderful things that He has done for me.
I forget to thank God for all that He has provided for me. It is very easy to see when you open your eyes. As you look around you and look at all of what the Lord has done and created.
I encourage you to open your eyes, look around and give thanks to the Lord for all that He has given to you and allowed you to use.
I did a lot of traveling this summer to many places that I have only heard about or read about. There was many beautiful sites that I saw in England, Wales, Spain, Germany and the Philippines. On the other side a lot of what I saw in the Philippines also made me appreciate how very well I actually have it back in my world as compared to the ways that I saw others and how they were forced to live. Many things that I take for granted here in the states that they don't have over there.
So give thanks to the Lord for even the smallest of things because I can promise you that there are some in the world that would be so happy to trade places with you. |
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| Two Lines |
Jul 29, 2006 3:36 pm
227 Views |  | When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St. Peter."
Soon, the women were gone and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 10,000 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man named Bobcat.
God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves, I created you to be the head of your household! You have been disobedient and have not fulfilled your purpose! Of all of you, only one obeyed. Learn from him."
God turned to Bobcat, "How did you manage to be the only one in this line?"
Bobcat replied, "My wife told me to stand here!" |
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| Your Attitude Says It All, What Is Your Attitude? |
Jul 29, 2006 2:38 pm
191 Views |  | There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in themirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.
"Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So she did and she had a wonderful day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head. "H-M-M, " she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today." So she did and she had a grand day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head. "Well," she said, "Today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.
The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head. "YEAH!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"
Attitude is everything. Have a Good Day! "Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle." |
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| Blood Of Jesus |
Jul 29, 2006 2:25 pm
173 Views |  | One night in a church service a young woman felt the tug of God at her heart. She responded to God's call and accepted Jesus as her Lord and
Savior. The young woman had a very rough past, involving alcohol, drugs, and prostitution. But, the change in her was evident.
As time went on she became a faithful member of the church. She eventually became involved in the ministry, teaching young children. It was not very long until this faithful young woman had caught the eye and heart of the pastor's son. The relationship grew and they began to make wedding plans.
This is when the problems began. You see, about one half of the church did not think that a woman with a past such as hers was suitable for a
pastor's son. The church began to argue and fight about the matter. So they decided to have a meeting. As the people made their arguments and
tensions increased, the meeting was getting completely out of hand.
The young woman became very upset about all the things being brought up about her past. As she began to cry the pastor's son stood to speak. He could not bear the pain it was causing his wife to be. He began to speak and his statement was this: "My fiancée's past is not what is on
trial here. What you are questioning is the ability of the blood of Jesus to wash away sin."
"Today you have put the blood of Jesus on trial. So, does it wash away sin or not?" The whole church began to weep as they realized that they had been slandering the blood of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Too often, even as Christians, we bring up the past and use it as a weapon against our brothers and sisters. Forgiveness is a very
foundational part of the Gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ. If the blood of Jesus does not cleanse the other person completely then it cannot
cleanse us completely. If that is the case, then we are all in a lot of trouble. |
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| Are You Ready? |
Jul 29, 2006 1:56 pm
146 Views |  | Because Adam and Eve chose to disobey God and His instructions their disobedience led to a spiritual death. This resulted in having the following three changes taking place forevermore. We were now separated from God, we faced the corruption of man's nature, and also the spiritual condemnation unto death.
On the good side, just as the sin of death happened because of one man the gift of eternal life came because of another man, the Lord Jesus Christ. The spiritual condemnation that was once ours was settled at Calvary's cross. It was there that Jesus took on Himself the sins of all mankind.
Because of Jesus's death on the cross, all of our sins are forgiven. It doesn't matter if the sins are past, present, and future they are all forgiven. But God's grace does not stop here. There is more to come. One day we will be with Him in heaven. This is His eternal promise to all who believe in Him.
Jesus conquered death at Calvary. His father, God, raised Him from the dead and Jesus now sits at the right hand of the Father. But before Jesus joined God in heaven, He gave us a promised and He kept that promise. He sent His Spirit to abide with us.
Because Jesus conquered death He is alive just as much today as He was on that cross over 2000 years ago. Our God is alive, alive, alive forevermore, our Jesus is alive as the song goes. Those who believe in Jesus and have accepted Him as Lord and Saviour are today enjoying a loving fellowship with Him as well. |
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