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Thankful For The Thorns, Grab A Tissue
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Dec 17, 2007 11:20 am
526 Views
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Sandra felt as low as the heels of her shoes as she pushed against a November gust and the florist shop door. Her life had been easy, like a spring breeze. Then in the fourth month of her second pregnancy, a minor automobile accident stole her ease. During this Thanksgiving week she would have delivered a son. She grieved over her loss. As if that weren't enough, her husband's company threatened a transfer. Then her sister, whose annual holiday visit she coveted, called saying she could not come. What's worse, Sandra's friend infuriated her by suggesting her grief was a God-given path to maturity that would allow her to empathize with others who suffer. "She has no idea what I'm feeling," thought Sandra with a shudder. "Thanksgiving? Thankful for what?" she wondered aloud. For a careless driver whose truck was hardly scratched when he rear-ended her? For an airbag that saved her life but took that of her child?
"Good afternoon, can I help you?" The shop clerk's approach startled her."I, I need an arrangement," stammered Sandra. "For Thanksgiving? Do you want beautiful but ordinary or would you like to challenge the day with a customer favorite I call the Thanksgiving Special?" asked the shopclerk. "I'm convinced that flowers tell stories," she continued. "Are you looking for something that conveys 'gratitude' this Thanksgiving? "Not exactly!" Sandra blurted out. "In the last five months, everything that could go wrong has gone wrong."
Sandra regretted her outburst and was surprised when the shop clerk said, "I have the perfect arrangement for you." Then the door's small bell rang, and the shop clerk said, "Hi Barbara, let me get your order." She politely excused herself and walked toward a small workroom, then quickly reappeared, carrying an arrangementof greenery, bows, and long-stemmed thorny roses. Except the ends of the rose stems were neatly snipped,there were no flowers. "Want this in a box?" asked the clerk.
Sandra watched for the customer's response. Was this a joke? Who would want rose stems with no flowers? She waited for laughter, but neither woman laughed. "Yes, please," Barbara replied with an appreciative smile. "You'd think after three years of getting the special, I wouldn't be so moved by its significance, but I can feel it right here, all over again," she said as she gently tapped her chest. "Uhh," stammered Sandra, "that lady just left with, uhh, she just left with no flowers!" "Right, I cut off the flowers. That's the Special. I call it the Thanksgiving Thorns Bouquet. "Oh, come on, you can't tell me someone is willing to pay for that?" exclaimed Sandra.
"Barbara came into the shop three years ago feeling very much like you feel today," explained the clerk. "She thought she had very little to be thankful for. She had lost her father to cancer, the family business was failing, her son was into drugs and she was facing major surgery." "That same year I had lost my husband, "continued the clerk," and for the first time in my life, I had to spend the holidays alone. I had no children, no husband, no family nearby and too great a debt to allow any travel."So what did you do?" asked Sandra. "I learned to be thankful for thorns," answered the clerk quietly. "I've always thanked God for good things in life and never thought to ask Him why those good things happened to me, but when bad stuff hit, did I ever ask!
It took time for me to learn that dark times are important. I always enjoyed the 'flowers' of life, but it took thorns to show me the beauty of God's comfort. You know, the Bible says that God comforts us when we're afflicted and from His consolation we learn to comfort others." Sandra sucked in her breath as she thought about the very thing her friend had tried to tell her. "I guess the truth is, I don't want comfort. I've lost a baby and I'm angry with God." Just then someone else walked in the shop. "Hey, Phil!" shouted the clerk to the balding, rotund man. "My wife sent me in to get our usual Thanksgiving arrangement, twelve thorny, long-stemmed stems!" laughed Phil as the clerk handed him a tissue-wrapped arrangement from the refrigerator."Those are for your wife?" asked Sandra incredulously. "Do you mind me asking why she wants something that looks like that?
"No, I'm glad you asked," Phil replied. "Four years ago my wife and I nearly divorced. After forty years, we were in a real mess, but with the Lord's grace and guidance, we slogged through problem after problem. He rescued our marriage. Jenny here (the clerk) told me she kept a vase of rose stems to remind her of what she learned from "thorny" times, and that was good enough for me. I took home some of those stems. My wife and I decided to label each one for a specific "problem" and give thanks to Him for what that problem taught us." As Phil paid the clerk, he said to Sandra, "I highly recommend the Special!" "I don't know if I can be thankful for the thorns in my life." Sandra said to the clerk. "It's all too, fresh." "Well," the clerk replied carefully, "my experience has shown me that thorns make roses more precious. We treasure God's providential care more during troubled times than at any other time. Remember, it was a crown of thorns that Jesus wore so we might know His love. Don't resent the thorns." Tears rolled down Sandra's cheeks.
For the first time since the accident, she loosened her grip on resentment. "I'll take those twelve long-stemmed thorns, please," she managed to choke out. "I hoped you would," said the clerk gently. "I'll have them ready in a minute." "Thank you. What do I owe you?" asked Sandra. "Nothing." said the clerk. "Nothing but a promise to allow God to heal your heart. The first year's arrangement is always on me. "The clerk smiled and handed a card to Sandra. "I'll attach this card to your arrangement, but maybe you'd like to read it first." It read: "Dear God, I have never thanked You for my thorns. I have thanked You a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my thorns. Teach me the glory of the cross I bear; teach me the value of my thorns. Show me that I have climbed closer to You along the path of pain. Show me that, through my tears, the colors of Your rainbow look much more brilliant."
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An Alphabet of Christmas
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Dec 17, 2007 6:28 am
554 Views
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A is for Animals who shared the stable.
B for the Babe with their manger for cradle.
C for the Carols so blithe and gay,
D for December, the twenty-fifth day.
E for the Eve when we're all so excited.
F for the Fun when the tree's at last lighted.
G is for Goose which you all know is fat.
H is the Holly you stick in your hat.
I for the Ivy that clings to the wall.
J is for Jesus, the cause of it all.
K for the Kindness begot by this feast.
L is for Light shining way in the East.
M for the Mistletoe, all green and white.
N for the Noels we sing Christmas night.
O for the Oxen, the first to adore Him.
P for the Presents Wise Men laid before Him.
Q for the Quiet of this holy Eve as God's greatest blessing we all did receive.
R for the Reindeer leaping over the roofs.
S for the Stockings that Santa Claus stuffs.
T for the Toys, the Tinsel, the Tree.
U is for Us, the whole family.
V is for Visitors bringing us cheer.
W is Welcome to the happy New Year.
X is for X-Mas a shortcome for some
Y is for Yule time cheers and fun
Z is for the lack of Z's I get this time of year!
So now to you all, wherever you be, a merry, merry Christmas and many may you see!
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8
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Just Thought You Would Like To Know
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Dec 17, 2007 6:13 am
589 Views
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If Hillary wins in 2008 and Bill is 'appointed' to fill her Senate seat and either live to retire 'they' (together or alone) would get two US Presidential retirement checks, two US Senate retirement checks and a retirement check from the State of Arkansas. About the only thing they MIGHT NOT get is a Social Security check but I wouldn't bet on it.
I understand ole Bill has earned $40,000,000 in the past six years. What a guy!
AND THE REST OF THE STORY. Hillary Clinton, as a New York State Senator, now comes under the 'Congressional Retirement and Staffing Plan,' which means that even if she never gets reelected, she STILL receives her Congressional salary until she dies. (Would it not be nice if all Americans were pension eligible after only 4 years?)
If Bill outlives her, he then inherits HER salary until HE dies. He is already getting his Presidential salary until he dies. If Hillary outlives Bill, she also gets HIS salary until she dies. Guess who pays for that?
It's common knowledge that in order for her to establish NY residency, they purchased a million dollar-plus house in upscale Chappaqua, New York. Makes sense!
They are entitled to Secret Service protection for life. Still makes sense.
Here is where it becomes interesting. Their mortgage payments hover at around $10,000 per month. BUT, an extra residence 'had' to be built within the acreage to house the Secret Service agents.
The Clintons charge the Federal government $10,000 monthly rent for the use of that extra residence, which is about equal to their mortgage payment. This means we, the taxpayers, are paying the Clinton's salary, mortgage, transportation, safety and security, as well as the salaries for their 12-man staff and this is all perfectly legal!
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14
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Need Help With Telemarketers, Then I Am Here For You
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Dec 16, 2007 7:41 pm
573 Views
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We all get them, telemarketers trying to sell us everything under the sun, below are some helpful responses to different types of telemarketers and the products they are selling, enjoy, cheers.
If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.
If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "I'm so glad you asked, because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these
problems. My arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died and so on.
If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is
located, how long it has been in business, how many people work there, how they got into this line of work if they are married, how many
kids they have, etc. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.
This works great if you are male. Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and
I'm with XYZ Company."
You: Wait for a second and with a real husky voice ask," What are you wearing?"
Cry out in surprise, "Judy? Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where she could know you from.
Say "No" over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each one and keep a rhythmic tempo, even as they are trying to speak. This is most fun if you can do it until they hang up.
If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends Plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends, would you be my friend?"
If the company cleans rugs, respond: "Can you get out blood? Can you get out goat blood? How about human blood?"
After the Telemarketer gives his or her spiel, ask him or her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you can't just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.
Tell the Telemarketer that you work for the same company and they can't sell to employees.
Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a Telemarketer, set the receiver down, scream, "Oh my God!" and then hang up.
Tell the Telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask him/her if he/she will give you his/her home phone number so you can call him/her back.
When the Telemarketer explains that telemarketers cannot give out their home numbers say, "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The Telemarketer will agree and you say," Me either!" Hang up.
Ask them to repeat everything they say, several times.
Tell them it is dinner time, but ask if they would please hold. Put them on your speaker phone while you continue to eat at your leisure. Smack your food loudly and continue with your dinner conversation.
Tell the Telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you something to drink.
Ask them to fax the information to you and make up a number.
Tell the Telemarketer, "Okay, I'll listen to you. But I should probably tell you, I'm not wearing any clothes."
Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on, Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"
Tell them you are hard of hearing and that they need to speak up, louder . . . louder . . .
Tell them to talk very slowly, because you want to write every word down.
NOTICE: The above have all been tested and approved for use on telemarketers. No animals were harmed in the testing.
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What can you expect when you love God??
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Dec 16, 2007 6:17 pm
558 Views
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But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives, he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Galatians 5:22 NLT
When big problems come, there is something in all of us that wants to bail out, throw in the towel, wave the white flag of surrender, and retreat to someplace less stressful.
This explains why so many people under great stress and strain walk away from God, a marriage, a friendship, or a church. When the future looks stormy or uncertain, it becomes easy to rationalize, to jettison one's convictions, to go back on promises.
Before you succumb to panic and start to renege on a commitment, you need to strongly consider God's promise. It tells us that we have something within us (Someone, actually) who desires for us to be loyal and who gives us the courage and grit to hang tough. The Holy Spirit will, if you ask him, enable you to persevere even in the face of overwhelming trouble.
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Rules For 2008
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Dec 16, 2007 3:07 pm
591 Views
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Stop giving me that pop-up ad for classmates! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years.
Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar What did you expect it to contain?
Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.
There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this stuff at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink.
Stop screwing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his butt will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the butthead. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one sweet-n-Low and one NutraSweet," ooh, you're a huge butthead.
I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the amount, deciding no, I don't want cash back and pressing "Enter" again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy.
Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your bum. And it translates to "beef with broccoli."
Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table
was just too exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait!? They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms. If I'm extra hungry for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.
No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, I don't want some guy to offer me a towel and a mint. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there or just some freak with a fetish. I just want to wash my hands and get out of there.
If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around saying, "Do you want fries with that?
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10
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The Computer Swallowed Grandma
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Dec 16, 2007 2:41 pm
550 Views
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The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly its true!
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.
It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I've searched through the recycle bin
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'
So, if inside your 'In box,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy,''Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me.
This is a tribute to all the Grandmas who have been fearless and learned to use the Computer.
They are the greatest! We do not stop playing because we grow old; We grow old because we stop playing. NEVER Be The First To Get Old!
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8
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Scars From The Past
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Dec 16, 2007 11:43 am
559 Views
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We are what we are as a result of our past. All of us have scars and wounds from the words and actions of others. We also have scars that we have received from our own failures and mistakes. The good news for the Christian is that this is not the end of the story.
By using the Word of God to learn and as the Holy Spirit works in us, we can become new creations in Christ Jesus. We can use the scars from the pass as stepping stones to help us arrive to a new spiritual maturity.
I have listed some things below from the Word of God that can help you rebuild your self-esteem:
I am created: For we are God's workmanship. Ephesians 2:10
I am chosen: For we know, brothers loved by God, that he has chosen you. 1 Timothy 1:4
I am protected: Protect me as you would the pupil of your eye. Psalm 17:8 (NLT)
I am complete: His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 2 Peter 1:3
I am victorious: In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. Romans 8:37
I am called: [God] has saved us and called us to a holy life not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. 2 Timothy 1:9
I am forgiven: There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Romans 8:1
I am free: Then you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. John 8:32
I am loved: I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. Jeremiah 31:3
I am accepted!
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Signs you work in the 90's
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Dec 16, 2007 10:15 am
536 Views
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Cleaning up the dining area means getting the fast food bags out of the back seat of your car.
Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not have email addresses.
Keeping up with sports entails adding ESPN's homepage to your bookmarks.
You have a "to do list" that includes entries for lunch and bathroom breaks and they are usually the ones that never get crossed off.
You have actually faxed your Christmas list to your parents.
Pick up lines now include a reference to liquid assets and capital gains.
You consider 2nd day Air Delivery and Inner-office Mail painfully slow.
You assume any question about whether to valet park or not is rhetorical.
You refer to your dining room table as the flat filing cabinet. (you actually "dine" standing over the kitchen sink or lounging on the sofa.)
Your idea of being organized is multiple colored post-it notes.
Your grocery list has been on your refrigerator so long some of the products don't even exist anymore.
You lecture the neighborhood kids selling lemonade on ways to improve their process.
You get all excited when it's Saturday so you can wear sweats to work.
You refer to the tomatoes grown in your garden as deliverables.
You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.
You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.
You think that "progressing an action plan" and "calendarizing a project" are acceptable English phrases.
You know the people at the airport hotels better than your next door neighbors.
You ask your friends to "think out of the box" when making Friday night plans.
You think Einstein would have been more effective had he put his ideas into a matrix.
You think a "half-day" means leaving at 5 o'clock
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Work Excuses
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Dec 16, 2007 9:48 am
546 Views
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Below are some excuses that employees have tried over the years for those days that they have missed, hahahaha, cheers
"I forgot what day it was. I thought it was the weekend."
"My wife and son took both cars, and when I went outside, there was nothing in the driveway."
"I am stuck in the blood-pressure machine down at the Wal-Mart."
"I'm sorry I didn't make it! My car broke down; I ran out of gas; my mother died; I had to go to the doctor; there was an earthquake. It wasn't my fault!"
"My wife makes more money than I do, so I have to stay at home with our sick son."
"My roommate locked me in the bathroom."
"I hit a mountain lion on the way to work."
"The jury I was on was sequestered, and we weren't allowed to leave or contact the outside world."
"The dog was asleep behind the car, so I couldn't back out of the driveway."
"Sorry. I thought I had already put in my 2 weeks' notice."
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