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My Little Bit of Heaven
  
Most of you are going through the same or similar trials and tribulations as I am though your stories may be a little different we are all still in the same boat. My prayer is that my little bit of heaven will make your little bit of heaven just a little bit better. May the Lord richly bless you all, cheers.
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One Liners For Today Dec 3, 2007 2:48 pm
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I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said 'Thyroid problem?'

I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.

A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Interstate. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.

Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones may break my
bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
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OK, Next Quiz With Answers Attached At The Bottom Dec 3, 2007 10:46 am
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No Cheating!! Let's See How Well You Do.
Get A Pen And Paper And Write Down Your Answers.
Once You're Done, Just Scroll Down For The Answers.

1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?

2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?

3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water. The tide rises at 12
inches every 15 minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it's highest, how many rungs are under water?

4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear?

5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?

6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on
the floor. Who is Sloppy? How did Sloppy die?

7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel?

8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight,
mass and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, both of them at the same time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first? Same question, but the location is in Canada?

9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.

10. What can go up a chimney down, but can't go down a chimney up? (Hint...chim chimminy)

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them
all in the center field?

12. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?

Scroll Down For The Answers!!

ANSWERS

1. The word "incorrectly." {Almost cracked your brain, didn't you?}

2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.

3. None, the boat rises with the tide. Duh.

4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the North pole and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.

5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed
before addition. So half of two is one. Then add two and the answer is three.

6. Sloppy is a (gold)fish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him.

7. None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of dirt. (And those of you who said 36 cubic feet are wrong for another reason, too. You would have needed the length measurement too. So you don't even know how much air is in the hole.)

8. Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the
water in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen? Think again. The question said nothing about that bucket having anything in it. Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow the ball down.

9. The time and month/date/year American style calendar are 12:34,5/6/78.

10. An umbrella.

11. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big
stack.

12. The temperature.
2 Comments
It is That Time Of Year Again, The Kids And I Favorite Dec 3, 2007 9:57 am
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For those with children like me that like to get their hands into everything, this time of year is when the children and I love to bake Christmas cookies for Jesus and Santa Claus. If you are looking then I have just the solution. Each of these big batch cookie recipes will make massive amounts-one boasts up to 23 dozen or 276 cookies. The big batch secret is that you can get all the work done early in the season and spend more time relaxing and enjoying the holidays.
To have oven-fresh cookies ready at a moment's notice throughout the holidays, do this: Prepare a recipe all the way to the point of popping them into the oven. But instead, set the tray of unbaked cookies in the freezer. Once frozen, transfer them to zip-type freezer bags and return to the freezer. Now you can bake as many cookies as you like, whenever you like. Place the frozen cookies in the oven on a baking tray. Set the oven to 350 F. By the time the oven preheats, the dough will be sufficiently thawed. Bake as required in the specific recipe.

Big Batch Butterscotch Cookies

3 cups (6 sticks) butter or margarine, melted and cooled completely
6 eggs
6 cups brown sugar, firmly packed
2 tablespoons vanilla
2 tablespoons baking powder
1 tablespoon baking soda
1 teaspoon cream of tartar
10 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 12-ounce bag butterscotch chips (optional)
1 cup chopped pecans (optional)

Preheat oven to 350 F. In a large mixing bowl, cream together the butter and brown sugar. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in vanilla. Transfer to a larger bowl if necessary. In a separate bowl, combine flour, baking powder, baking soda and cream of tartar; gradually add to the creamed mixture. Stir in the butterscotch chips and pecans, if desired. Drop by level tablespoonfuls for 10 dozen large cookies (or teaspoonfuls for 20 dozen small cookies), 2 inches apart onto ungreased baking sheets. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until golden b rown. Remove to wire racks to cool. Yield: about 10-20 dozen (120-240) cookies, depending on the size.

Big Batch Monster Cookies

1 pound (4 sticks) butter, softened
3 12-ounce jars creamy peanut butter
2 1-pound boxes light brown sugar
4 cups white sugar
1 dozen eggs
1 tablespoon vanilla
1 tablespoon corn syrup (like Karo light)
8 teaspoons baking soda
18 cups quick oats
1 pound (about 2 3/4 cups) chocolate chips
1 pound (about 2 3/4 cups) plain M&Ms

Preheat oven to 350 F. Line cookie sheets with parchment paper, nonstick baking mats or foil. In a really big bowl, cream together the butter, peanut butter and brown and white sugars until light and fluffy. Add eggs, two at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in vanilla, corn syrup and baking soda. Gradually stir in oats, mixing until well incorporated. Stir in chips and M&Ms. Drop by teaspoonfuls onto prepared baking sheets. Bake for 8-12 minutes. Do not over bake. Let stand 3 minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool. When co ol, store in large re-sealable plastic bags or containers. Yield: About 19-23 dozen (228-276) cookies.

Big Batch Ginger Snaps

1 1/2 cups solid shortening
1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) butter, softened
4 cups dark brown sugar, firmly packed
4 eggs
1 cup molasses
8 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
8 teaspoons baking soda
4 teaspoons ground ginger
4 teaspoons ground cinnamon
4 teaspoons ground cloves

Preheat oven to 350 F. Prepare cookie sheets with parchment paper, nonstick spray or grease. In a large bowl, cream together the shortening, butter, brown sugar and molasses using an electric mixer. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. In a separate bowl, mix together flour, salt, baking soda, ginger, cinnamon and cloves. Gradually stir flour mixture into the butter and sugar mixture, until well incorporated. Form 1-inch balls and roll them in sugar before placing on cookie sheet, about two inches apart. Bake for 10-12 minutes. Transfer to racks to cool. Yield: About 8 dozen (96) cookies.
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What is your concept of heaven? ? Dec 3, 2007 9:19 am
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How happy are those who fear the Lord—all who follow his ways! You will enjoy the fruit of your labor. How happy you will be! How rich your life! Psalm 128:1-2 NLT

Anyone who wants to come to him must believe that there is a God and that he rewards those who sincerely seek him. Hebrews 11:6 NLT

He died for us so that we can live with him forever, whether we are dead or alive at the time of his return. 1 Thessalonians 5:10 NLT

Most of us find it very difficult to want "Heaven" at all, except in so far as "Heaven" means meeting again our friends who have died. One reason for this difficulty is that we have not been trained: Our whole education tends to fix our minds on this world. Another reason is that when the real want for Heaven is present in us, we not recognise it. Most people, if they had really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise.
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The Big Wheel: One Of My Favorite Christmas Stories, Grab A Tissue Dec 2, 2007 6:45 pm
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In September 1960, I woke up one morning with six hungry babies and just 75 cents in my pocket. Their father was gone. The boys ranged from three months to seven years; their sister was two. Their Dad had never been much more than a presence they feared. Whenever they heard his tires crunch on the gravel driveway they would scramble to hide under their beds.
He did manage to leave $15 a week to buy groceries. Now that he had decided to leave, there would be no more beatings, but no food either. If there was a welfare system in effect in southern Indiana at that time, I certainly knew nothing about it. I scrubbed the kids until they looked brand new and then put on my best homemade dress, loaded them into the rusty old 51 Chevy and drove off to find a job.
The seven of us went to every factory, store and restaurant in our small town. No luck.
The kids stayed crammed into the car and tried to be quiet while I tried to convince whoever would listen that I was willing to learn or do anything. I had to have a job, still no luck. The last place we went to, just a few miles out of town; was an old Root Beer Barrel drive-in that had been converted to a truck stop. It was called the Big Wheel. An old lady named Granny owned the place and she peeked out of the window from time to time at all those kids. She needed someone on the graveyard shift, 11 at night until seven in the morning. She paid 65 cents an hour, and I could start that night. I raced home and called the teenager down the street that baby-sat for people. I bargained with her to come and sleep on my sofa for a dollar a night. She could arrive with her pajamas on and the kids would already be asleep. This seemed like a good arrangement to her, so we made a deal. That night when the little ones and I knelt to say our prayers, we all thanked God for finding Mommy a job. And so I started at the Big Wheel.
When I got home in the mornings I woke the baby-sitter up and sent her home with one dollar of my tip money, fully half of what I averaged every night. As the weeks went by, heating bills added a strain to my meager wage. The tires on the old Chevy had the consistency of penny balloons and began to leak. I had to fill them with air on the way to work and again every morning before I could go home.
One bleak fall morning, I dragged myself to the car to go home and found four tires in the back seat. New tires! There was no note, no nothing; just those beautiful brand new tires.
Had angels taken up residence in Indiana? I wondered. I made a deal with the local service station. In exchange for his mounting the new tires, I would clean up his office. I remember it took me a lot longer to scrub his floor than it did for him to do the tires. I was now working six nights instead of five and it still wasn't enough. Christmas was coming and I knew there would be no money for toys for the kids.
I found a can of red paint and started repairing and painting some old toys; then hid them in the basement so there would be something for Santa to deliver on Christmas morning. Clothes were a worry too. I was sewing patches on top of patches on the boys’ pants and soon they would be too far gone to repair. On Christmas Eve the usual customers were drinking coffee in the Big Wheel. These were the truckers, Les, Frank, and Jim, and a state trooper named Joe.
A few musicians were hanging around after a gig at the Legion and were dropping nickels in the pinball machine. The regulars all just sat around and talked through the wee hours of the morning and then left to get home before the sun came up. When it was time for me to go home at seven o'clock on Christmas morning, to my amazement, my old battered Chevy was filled full to the top with boxes of all shapes and sizes. I quickly opened the driver's side door, crawled inside and kneeled in the front facing the back seat.
Reaching back, I pulled off the lid of the top box. Inside was whole case of little blue jeans, sizes 2-10! I looked inside another box: It was full of shirts to go with the jeans. Then I peeked inside some of the other boxes. There was candy and nuts and bananas and bags of groceries. There was an enormous ham for baking, and canned vegetables and potatoes. There was pudding and Jell-O and cookies, pie filling and flour. There was a whole bag of laundry supplies and cleaning items. And there were five toy trucks and one beautiful little doll. As I drove back through empty streets as the sun slowly rose on the most amazing Christmas Day of my life, I was sobbing with gratitude. And I will never forget the joy on the faces of my little ones that precious morning.
Yes, there were angels in Indiana that long-ago December. And they all hung out at the Big Wheel truck stop.
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Human Life Is Full Of Trials and Tribulations Dec 2, 2007 5:49 pm
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Human life is full of trials and tribulations. Man is born to trouble. Compare your list of troubles with one famous man's:

He had a difficult childhood
Less than one year of formal schooling
Failed in business at age 31
Defeated for legislature at 32
Failed again in business at 33
Elected to the legislature at 34
His fiancee died when he was 35
Defeated for speaker at 38
Defeated for electorate at 40
At 42 married a woman who became a burden, not a help
Only one of four sons lived past age 18
Defeated for congress at 43
Elected to congress at 46
Defeated for congress at 48
Defeated for senate at 55
Defeated for vice president at 56
Defeated for senate at 58
Finally elected president.

He was Abraham Lincoln, of course. When I look at his list of setbacks, I wonder if I've ever had a problem. I wonder how I would have looked at my life through his eyes, cheers.
2 Comments
Some Things That Hinder Us In Our Walk With God Dec 2, 2007 3:30 pm
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God has given you the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth in His Word to us, the Bible.
The problem we face is our own bias and the selfishness we possess. We want to indulge the world with our own application of it. This leads to not only how we understand the bible but also how we apply it in our everyday life.
As we mature as a Christian it is not because of how well we understand the Bible it is because of our character. If we are to accept the truth in what God has given us and it doesn't affect how we love and treat others then something is seriously wrong with us.
Next we are to fall in love with Jesus not with the Bible. Satan knows the Bible back and forth and yet he doesn't God. One of the best examples in the Bible was Paul who was then known as Saul. Paul knew the law and yet still didn't know Jesus until he ran into Him on that road to Damascus
As I started before it is important to know the Word of God and how to apply them in your life. In Sunday schools all around the world the children are taught to memorize scripture but they should also be taught to think this way as well. Our model should be, "The Word became flesh and dwelt among us" (John 1:14). I know a lot of people that can quote me scriptures and yet I wonder why they act the way they do when they are not around church. We are to incarnate the Word of God. We are to have our lives transformed by it and our minds renewed by it.
Next is when we hear the Word of God and yet we don't live it. Some of us believe that certain parts of the Bible don't apply to us today or something along these lines. However I do know that Jesus taught: "If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them" (John 13:17).
Last for now and one of the main problems we have affecting our church today is like the Pharisees, we tend to neglect the commandment of God and hold to the traditions of men (Mark 7:. Many seminary graduates are called as "new wine" (zealous to serve God according to the truth of His Word) to "old wineskin" churches (rooted in the traditions of men) and the results are disastrous for both. Cheers.
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Thoughtful Teacher Dec 2, 2007 3:10 pm
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On the first day of school in September 2005, social studies teacher Martha Cothren, at Robinson High School in Little Rock, did something not to be forgotten.
On the first day of school, with the permission of the school superintendent, the principal and the building supervisor, she
removed all of the desks and chairs from her classroom. When the first period kids entered the room, they discovered that there were no desks or chairs.
Looking around, confused, they asked, "Ms. Cothren, where are our desks?" She replied, "You can't have a desk until you tell me what you have done to earn the right to sit at a desk."
They thought, "Well, maybe it's our grades."
"No," she said.
"Maybe it's our behavior."
She told them, "No, it's not even your behavior." And so, they came and went, the first period, second period, third period. Still no desks in the classroom. By early afternoon, TV news crews had started gathering in Ms. Cothren's classroom to report about this crazy teacher, who had taken all the desks out of her room.
The final period of the day came, and as the puzzled students found seats on the floor of the deskless, chairless classroom, Martha
Cothren said, "Throughout the day, no one has been able to tell me just what he or she has done to earn the right to sit at the desks
that are ordinarily found in this classroom. Now I am going to tell you."
At this point, Martha Cothren went over to the door of her classroom and opened it. Twenty-seven U.S. Veterans, all in uniforms, walked
into that classroom, each one carrying a school desk and chair. The Vets began placing the desks in rows, then they walked over, one-by-one, to stand along the wall.
By the time the last soldier had set the final desk in place, those kids started to understand, perhaps for the first time in their
lives, just how the right to sit at those desks had been earned.
Martha Cothren said, "You didn't earn the right to sit at these desks. These heroes did it for you. They placed the desks here for you. Now, it's up to you to sit in them. It is your responsibility to learn, to be good students, to be good citizens. They paid the price, so you could have the freedom to get an education. Don't ever forget it."
By the way, this is a true story. If you can read it, thank a teacher. If you read it in English, thank a soldier!
4 Comments
Have you refused to listen to God? Dec 2, 2007 11:00 am
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"Now if you will fear and worship the Lord and listen to his voice, and if you do not rebel against the Lord's commands, and if you and your king follow the Lord your God, then all will be well. But if you rebel against the Lord's commands and refuse to listen to him, then his hand will be as heavy upon you as it was upon your ancestors. 1 Samuel 12:14-15 NLT

But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!" This place was known as Meribah, because it was where the people of Israel argued with the Lord, and where he demonstrated his holiness among them.
Numbers 20:12-13 NLT

The word rebel conjures up images of motorcycles, black leather jackets, tattoos, and arrogant, angry attitudes. Sometimes rebellion against God does manifest itself in such dramatic forms, but rebellion can be much more subtle.
A failure to worship God leads to a failure to listen to his commands. Such disrespect is rebellion against God, whether we wear black leather or suits and ties.
What subtle forms of rebellion tend to creep into your life?
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? Dec 2, 2007 6:53 am
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You adults make it so difficult to marry, so I have decided to get you some help. I have enlisted the aid of some children and asked them the tough questions for you and here is their responses, cheers(written by kids)

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids.
Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette, age 8

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that Usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and
make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich. Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Anita, age 9

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? Kelvin, age 8

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck. Ricky, age 10
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