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My Little Bit of Heaven
  
Most of you are going through the same or similar trials and tribulations as I am though your stories may be a little different we are all still in the same boat. My prayer is that my little bit of heaven will make your little bit of heaven just a little bit better. May the Lord richly bless you all, cheers.
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Thoughts From The Old Man Dec 5, 2007 2:43 pm
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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

If you can't see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there's a will there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Well done is better than well said.

There are three sides to every argument: your side, my side and the right side.

An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.

Death is hereditary.
4 Comments
Afraid To Die, Read This Dec 5, 2007 2:09 pm
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A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said, "Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."
Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know." "You don't know? You, a Christian man,
do not know what is on the other side?" The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.
Turning to the patient, the doctor said,
"Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here,
and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear.
I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing. I know my Master is there and that is enough."
May today there be peace within you.
May you trust God that you are exactly
where you are meant to be.
2 Comments
A LATE BLOOMER Dec 5, 2007 10:53 am
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A cactus stood all alone in the desert, wondering why it was stuck in the middle of nowhere.
“I do nothing but stand here all day,” it sighed. “What use am I? I'm the ugliest plant in the desert. My spines are thick and prickly, my leaves are rubbery and tough, my skin is thick and bumpy. I can't offer shade or juicy fruit to any passing traveler. I don't see that I'm any use at all.”
All it did was stand in the sun day after day, growing taller and fatter. Its spines grew longer and its leaves tougher, and it swelled here and there until it was lumpy and lopsided all over. It truly was strange looking.
“I wish I could do something useful,” it sighed. By day hawks circled high overhead.
“What can I do with my life?” the cactus called. Whether they heard or not, the hawks sailed away.
At night the moon floated into the sky and cast its pale glow on the desert floor.
“What good can I do with my life?” the cactus called. The moon only stared coldly as it mounted its course.
A lizard crawled by, leaving a little trail in the sand with its tail. “What worthy deed can I do?” the cactus called.
“You?” the lizard laughed, pausing a moment. “Worthy deed? Why, you can't do anything! The hawks circle way overhead, tracing delicate patterns for us all to admire. The moon hangs high like a lantern at night, so we can
see our ways home to our loved ones. Even I, the lowly lizard, have something to do. I decorate the sands with these beautiful brushstrokes as
I pull my tail along. Buy you? You do nothing but get uglier every day.”
And so it went on, year after year. At last the cactus grew old, and it knew its time was short.
“Oh, Lord,” it cried out, “I've wondered so long, and I've tried so hard. Forgive me if I've failed to find something worthy to do. I fear that now it's too late.”
But just then the cactus felt a strange stirring and unfolding, and it knew a surge of joy that erased all despair. At its very tip, like a sudden crown, a glorious flower suddenly opened in bloom.
Never had the desert known such a blossom. Its fragrance perfumed the air far and wide and brought happiness to all passing by. The butterflies paused to admire its beauty, and that night even the moon smiled when it rose to find such a treasure.
The cactus heard a voice. “You have waited long,” the Lord said. “The heart that seeks to do good reflects My glory, and will always bring something worthwhile to the world, something in which all can rejoice even if for only a moment.”
2 Comments
How do you respond to those who seek to hurt you? ? Dec 5, 2007 8:31 am
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Love your enemies! Do good to them! Lend to them! And don't be concerned that they might not repay. Then your reward from heaven will be very great, and you will truly be acting as children of the Most High, for he is kind to the unthankful and to those who are wicked! You must be compassionate, just as the Father is compassionate. Luke 6:35-36 NLT

Our enemies are out to hurt us. They want to steal from us, cheat us and do evil against us. Yet Jesus says we are to be kind to them. What is his point? We reflect or should reflect God to the world and God is kind even to the unkind, the ungrateful and those whom we consider to be "hopeless" cases. Kindness is based on the love we have for others, not the love others deserve.
Kindness is the sign of a loving heart, one of the greatest of all virtues. A kind person is pleasant, good, gracious, always appreciated. There's a lot of talk these days about "random acts of kindness." Maybe this is because we live in a society starved for good deeds. God is our model for kindness. The kindest act ever committed was God's sending his own Son, Jesus, to die for our sins so that we might live forever in heaven. God also showers us with kindness each day, sending sunshine and rain, food and friends, comfort and encouragement, boundless love and wisdom.
6 Comments
Time To Ponder Again, HaHaHa Dec 5, 2007 8:09 am
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Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor.

Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Garden Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt."

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
2 Comments
OLD IS WHEN: Dec 5, 2007 8:06 am
136 Views
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

Getting a little action means you don't need fiber today.

Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

An all-nighter means not getting up!
6 Comments
Games For When You Get Older Dec 4, 2007 6:37 pm
128 Views
Sag, you're It.

Hide and go pee.

20 questions shouted into your good ear.

Kick the bucket.

Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.

Musical recliners.

Simon says something incoherent.

Pin the Toupee on the bald guy.
2 Comments
Never Let Your Mother Send Out Wedding Invitations Dec 4, 2007 6:36 pm
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Below is a wedding invitation that one mother sent out on behalf of her son, hahahaha, enjoy, cheers.

YOU ARE REGRETFULLY INVITED
TO THE WEDDING BETWEEN MY PERFECT SON,
The Doctor
AND SOME
Cheap Two Bit Tramp
WHOSE NAME EXCAPES ME RIGHT NOW.

THE BIGGEST DISASTER IN MY
FAMILY'S HISTORY WILL TAKE PLACE AT
9pm on Saturday, September 9th

AND NO DOUBT END IN DIVORCE
HOPEFULLY IN TIME TO STILL BE ELIGIBLE FOR AN ANNULMENT.
THE OVERWHELMINGLY DISAPPOINTING HEARTBREAK OF A CEREMONY
WILL BE FOLLOWED BY DINNER, WHERE NUTS WILL BE SERVED
BECAUSE WHATSHERFACE HAS AN ALLERGY.
4 Comments
Forgiveness Connects Us With The Divine: Dec 4, 2007 3:41 pm
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“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger. And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God, and saying, Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.” Luke 2:11-14

Christmas represents the first divine act of forgiveness on this earth. That Baby, born of the Holy Spirit and a poor teenager with no fame or wealth, reflects both the ordinary and the inconceivably transcendent. The forgiveness we exercise daily connects us with the Divine and assures us of our perpetual identity as sons and daughters of the omnipotent God. For His highest virtue, His love was manifest in the Christmas manger and we, the beneficiaries of that generous gift, are invited to share it with those who have offended us.
The heavens opened that night to some humble shepherds, to whom the angels announced the arrival of the Son of God: “‘Glory to God in the highest heaven and on earth peace among those whom he favors!’” This blessing reminds us of the name Isaiah assigned to the Son of God, “Prince of Peace” identifying the Baby with the Messiah. The angels were amazed at what God had done through this Child, who would bring salvation to a humanity alienated from its Maker. The walls of the celestial city could not contain the boundless joy in heaven, so the angelic praises spilled over onto the earth! The divine Child was none other than the Savior promised throughout the Old Testament, the Prince of Peace who would reconcile a fallen world with its Creator.
The word in the original Greek for “peace” carries the same meaning as the Hebrew “shalom”. The Hebrew word does not simply mean “absence of war or conflict.” Rather, it points to the presence of a social harmony. Those who receive this Messianic peace are the “people of good will” or the people who are recipients of God’s good will. The passage also suggests that those who receive God’s good will are to show that same good will toward their neighbors.
2 Comments
It's Time To Name That Christmas Carol! Dec 4, 2007 2:28 pm
128 Views
In our politically correct world that we now in, most of our Christmas carols have new names now. Lets just see how many of those Christmas Carol that you can name, cheers!

1. Bleached Yule
2. Castaneous-colored Seed Vesicated in a Conflagration
3. Singular Yearning for the Twin Anterior Incisors
4. Righteous Darkness
5. Arrival Time 2400 hrs - Weather Cloudless
6. Loyal Followers Advance
7. Far Off in a Feeder
8. Array the Corridor
9. Bantam Male Percussionist
10. Monarchial Triad
11. Nocturnal Noiselessness
12. Jehovah Deactivate Blithe Chevaliers
13. Red Man En Route to Borough
14. Frozen Precipitation Commence
15. Proceed and Enlighten on the Pinnacle
16. The Quadruped with the Vermillion Probiscis
17. Query Regarding Identity of Descendant
18. Delight for this Planet
19. Give Attention to the Melodious Celestial Beings
20. The Dozen Festive 24 Hour Intervals

Answers:

1. White Christmas
2. Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire
3. All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth
4. O Holy Night
5. It Came Upon a Midnight Clear
6. O Come, All Ye Faithful
7. Away in a Manger
8. Deck the Hall
9. Little Drummer Boy
10. We Three Kings
11. Silent Night
12. God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen
13. Santa Claus is Coming to Town
14. Let it Snow
15. Go, Tell It on the Mountain
16. Rudolph, the Red-nosed Reindeer
17. What Child is This?
18. Joy to the World
19. Hark! The Herald Angels Sing
20. The Twelve Days of Christmas
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