 | Blogs > sabrefire45 > The Midnight Ocean > ...AND I'M ONE PART SAND |
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 WHO I AM... (Please see Exodus 15.) No matter the physical environ, I seem to live in a perpetual desert of sorts. No matter the beauty of this life, I know this...is not heaven. This is not home. Up until these last few years, my life could easily be explained as a transitory phase of awkwardness. As a child, I was... but a child. As a teen I was, just a teenager. As a college student, I was in that transient phase of poverty, books, and Friday nights. Now I am supposed to be a 'man.' Any man would likely do. A wealthier one...all the better. I am not what I am expected to be. The world tells me life is not supposed to be as fleeting and so easily malleable at this point. I am supposed to settle down like everyone else. Lay stake and claim to house, kids, and wife. To the world. But I am still sojourning through a desert. I am one part Israelite horde. One part Moses. And one part sand. (Still, hoping for a dash of Joshua.) But, at least I am not in Egypt. I have been at times as forgetful of G-d's promise, as the Israelites were. I too, can be unduly stiff-necked. The hebraism "stiff-necked," referring to a stubborn oxen who refuses to lower his head to be fitted with a yoke for work and submission. Even at my best...to G-d- I must seem- as a petulant, bucking- camel of a man. I can be stubborn as a mule, fearless as an idiot, and loving as a dove. I am a gourmet recipe of Exodus. Good and bad, it seems. Our L-rd has said, His yoke is easy and light. But I, like them, am not quite able to fully seize the inheritance of the promise, here on earth. Unwilling to annex fully a land of milk and honey. Annex what is mine? This is not a matter of salvation. But rather a means of fulfillment of G-d's direction. I do not build golden idols. I instead, build up walls. I build bunkers and sand trenches- in a land that is meant only to be passed through. I sit and stare at Canaan and the Negev, and conjure me up giants- I think impassable. I live in that area of sand and mountain- between Pharaoh and the City of Peace. Between death and life. I have life, but, I must lose it to find it. As Moses I can speak of the riches of G-d's promise. But, I fail to enter the Promised land. I, like him, even plead for the salvation of Our people. Why? Because I spend part of my time walking with both. But, I am not worthy of His riches. It would only be by the grace of Christ Jesus, that I would be admitted into a land of milk and honey. Alone, I am lost. Without His yoke, I tend to wander a bit. Never too far, but just enough. In Hebraic gematria, "40" is the number of purification/probation. I am impure, and in need of suffering and refinement. I am the yet, but warm, layer between dross and mint. I have been in the oven of affliction only a short while, 40 is a far way off yet in years. But it arrived years ago now, in terms of pragmatism. Out of the frying pan of pharaoh- and into the fire of the desert. "Take off thy sandals, this is Holy ground." But I have one very important thing that the Israelites, Moses, and even Joshua did not have. I have their words. Their stories, and their errors to consider. I have third part immunity. I have the privilege and advantage of speculation- without the deadly thirst, the terror, and the plagues. I have a New Covenant. And so do you. We have the Living Word. I still am a bit like the pail of water that travels from the well- to the scorching sands above. Neither fully in both, as a hook yet seemingly plunges and plucks- me both ways. In continual undulation- between earth and the divine. Never quite... there. I would like to be more similar to Joshua, than I am now. A more astounding type for Christ- than in all the Pentateuch. I pray for the faith and reverence to be able to shout and slay all my enemies that the L-rd promises to deliver me from. Together even slaying the anakim. To annex what is mine. So if you feel, at times you are in a desert, you are not alone, we are a great many people, called out of one land, and into another. The journey is great. Many are called. But, few answer, and stick to the narrow path led by G-d. Let us forget what the other spies say, and go into the land of Promise together. Let us not be afraid any longer. All this sitting has made us sore. Let us be... One part G-d. Wisdom, like manna descends like the dew, falling sweet as honey on the lips of the few. A chosen People called from a furnace, to begin their life anew- drawn from a pan and tossed into a fire comes forth salvation of all nations- sire so that I could taste of His Love for me... and for you. Love in Christ Jesus... Eternally, Sabrefire "Arise, be Our Help." Copyright © 2008 MAS |
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 8/29/2008 8:42 pm |
Very cool...now have fun  There was a lot to ponder as I journeyed through that depiction...Am I out of the furnace? What's it like out there?  The desert is truly the road. We learn...yes....and you are already astounding Sabre...I don't think your vision of 'you' is the same as ours. You also have the keys. You are wise...and what road is 'house, child and wife'? You are one of the few. Preparation is being made for your eternal dwelling. You are being conformed to your eternal self and place in the kingdom...AND you are already perfect and sinless in His eyes. You already know all this...it was just fun to consider! Truth is Black and White Paula Marie
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9/2/2008 1:55 pm |
This advice, I received just this morning and is apparently for me and you, both: Don't rush it. It'll come when it's time. (Thanks, boss.) TJ
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9/4/2008 10:18 am |
Very cool...now have fun There was a lot to ponder as I journeyed through that depiction...Am I out of the furnace? What's it like out there? The desert is truly the road. We learn...yes....and you are already astounding Sabre...I don't think your vision of 'you' is the same as ours. You also have the keys. You are wise...and what road is 'house, child and wife'? You are one of the few. Preparation is being made for your eternal dwelling. You are being conformed to your eternal self and place in the kingdom...AND you are already perfect and sinless in His eyes. You already know all this...it was just fun to consider! GBY!! sabrefire
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9/4/2008 10:19 am |
This advice, I received just this morning and is apparently for me and you, both: Don't rush it. It'll come when it's time. (Thanks, boss.) TJ GBY, sabrefire
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9/5/2008 5:40 pm |
EXODUS "I will sing unto the Lord, for He hath triumphed gloriously: The horse and the rider hath He thrown into the sea. THE LORD is my strength and song, And He is become my salvation: HE is my GOD, and I will prepare Him an habitation; My father's God, and I will exalt Him. The Lord is a man of war: The Lord is His name. Pharaoh's chariots and his host hath He cast into the sea: His chosen captains also are drowned in the Red sea. The depths have covered them: They sank into the bottom as a stone. Thy right hand, O Lord, hath dashed in pieces the enemy. And in the greatness of Thine Excellency Thou hast overthrown them that rose up against Thee: Thou sentest forth Thy wrath, which consumed them as stubble. And with the blast of Thy nostrils the waters were together, The floods stood upright as an heap, And the depths were congealed in the heart of the sea. The enemy said, 'I will pursue, I will overtake, I will divide the spoil; My lust shall be satisfied upon them; I will draw my sword, my hand shall destroy them.' Thou didst blow with Thy wind, the sea covered them: They sank as lead in the mighty waters. Who is like unto Thee, O Lord, among the gods? Who is like Thee, glorious in holiness, Fearful in praises, doing wonders? Thou stretchedest out Thy right hand, the earth swallowed them. Thou in Thy mercy hast led forth the People which Thou hast redeemed: Thou hast guided them in Thy strength unto Thy holy habitation. The people shall hear, and be afraid: Sorrow shall take hold on the inhabitants of Palestina. Then the dukes of Edom shall be amazed; The mighty men of Moab, trembling shall take hold upon them; All the inhabitants of Canaan shall melt away. Fear and dread shall fall upon them; By the greatness of Thine arm they shall be as still as a stone; Till Thy People pass over, O Lord, Till the People pass over, which Thou hast purchased. Thou shalt bring them in and plant them in the mountain of Thine inheritance, In the place, O LORD, which Thou hast made for Thee to dwell in, In the sanctuary, O LORD, which Thy hands have established. The Lord shall reign forever and ever. For the horse of Pharaoh went in with his chariots and with his horsemen into the sea, and the Lord brought again the waters of the sea upon them; but the children of Israel went on dry land in the midst of the sea."
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