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~~Overweight.?. Intellect.?. So what you looking for.?. Ok... Men are visual!!! I concede!!! So what about women??? Are they not???  I think they are too!!! In my last post about blind dating it became apparent that women think men can be shallow as to not look inside a women and that men can be so visual as to only see the outside... Weight, looks, size, shape, etc... I look deeply at intellect, spirituallity, confidence, ministry, etc...  And I know women are visual!!! Guys I need you help here as well!!! All responses welcome!!! So what do you look for..? If there is no physical attraction then what? If there is no intellectual attraction??? Let the shine!!! michael |
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Oh my! * Sin is sin. Careful what comes across your lips & out your finger tips!!! * We are all the Body of Christ. Let's treat each other as such, with the same respect we give to HIM!! * Relationship advice: DO NOT make someone a PRIORITY, when they ONLY make you an OPTION!! * A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man has to seek HIM in order to find her!!
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 [image] Let the SON shine!!! michael
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See my answers on your other post. A Blind Date * Sin is sin. Careful what comes across your lips & out your finger tips!!! * We are all the Body of Christ. Let's treat each other as such, with the same respect we give to HIM!! * Relationship advice: DO NOT make someone a PRIORITY, when they ONLY make you an OPTION!! * A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man has to seek HIM in order to find her!!
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Hey Terrie... Makes great since!!! Thanks for sharing!!! I am looking forward to the racin... tomorrow night!!! Let the SON shine!!! michael
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2/8/2008 8:59 pm |
ok so we like a bit of muscle!!  But I have to say.......and I am deadly serious.....when I meet a man, there has to be chemistry...but it doesn't have to be his looks that draw me. Does that make sense? Eye candy is fine and dandy but like the Shania Twain song says...'you've got the looks but have you got the touch' LOL!    PENELOPE "For I know the Plans I have for you, declares the Lord" Jer 29:11
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2/8/2008 9:05 pm |
More than physical attributes, it is the sense of his spirit that draws me. The connection with a kindred spirit (Christian) is more valuable than physical appearance. Nancy Let us share one anothers burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ
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2/8/2008 9:37 pm |
Hey Michael, I'm glad this conversation is still going. You're so right...women are visual too and have preferences as well. I apologise if something i said in my earlier post offended you..i certainly didn't mean to do that. Sometimes it's difficult to explain on here what I'm trying to say. For me I have to click with the guy, I have to feel comfortable and relaxed with him not only in conversation but feel that i'm okay around him (hard to explain that one), and yes, I have a few other preferences too...i'd like him to be tall because I'm tall and of a big build to compliment my size. i went out with a guy on a blind date who was shorter than me and skinnier than me..i just didn't feel that fantastic with him. Plus we just didn't click. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say.  man this is difficult lol..
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2/8/2008 9:40 pm |
well said pat..i couldn't have put it better myself lol
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2/8/2008 9:47 pm |
Hahahaha,...OK..I'm gonna comment on this one,..Hmmm,..now let me see...what do I look for?,..Well,..for starters,I have to be Honest here..Looks defineately help,..but if there aren't any looks,..I would have to get to know them,.personality,character,how they relate to certain people in certain situations,..but above all,..it has to be ,."Christianity"..If they aren't a Christian,..then forget it...I would have to get to know them anyway,..Even if they were good looking,..Even if they were a Christian..So there you have it,..Jils' laugh for the day....GBY.. Jesus is the TRUTH..the LIFE..and the WAY..
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2/9/2008 1:10 am |
hmmmmmmmmmmmm *thinking*  Personally, for ME to find ANY MAN attractive he has to have a certain pazzam about him, I dont like the feeling that I'm flogging a dead horse. Looks and style are important and I don't class myself shallow for that, but then I wouldn't NOT date a man cos he was overweight.. To date ANYONE.. a connection has to happen and if that connection came in a man that wasn't a Brad pitt.. then so be in.. I'm really NOT a shallow person.. Hope that makes sense.. 
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2/9/2008 5:40 am |
Aww, yendor, at one time size might have mattered to me. I've learned however, that those big men have really big hearts --- just really big teddy bears. Nancy Let us share one anothers burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ
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2/9/2008 8:11 am |
Lol Michael I don't see many men stepping up. Could it be that they just know where not to go. Don't dig to deep you may never find your way out. But let me say that yes people are visualBut its what happens after that visual, that speaks loud and clear. A person can be the best looking thing around but once you start getting to know them. They can get uglier by the minute and vise-versa a person that your not that attracted to, once you get to know them.Can be come some one that you now see as a very attrative person. SOOOO what starts as a visual, can be come a vision.NOW go put your cloths on! Lol God Bless. You can bless me out later.  Angel looking 4 her wings.. I will loosen myself from what has held me in the past, and from all the things that claw at my soul and threaten to pull it away from Gods purpose. In Him, I need never worry. God is God‒be humbled. God is good‒be encouraged. God is great‒be thankful [post 116968] This is Mia's blog and worth reading. It blessed my soul. Showing Me Jesus Hey everyone come say HI to My daugtherSunnie How to Dance in the Rain A Beautiful Tongue
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2/9/2008 8:44 am |
  I am going to take a different approach in responding to this question. I am a "true" blonde. I do silly "blonde" things. But, I am extremely intelligent. A man may be attracted to me, initially, because I AM A BLONDE. Sometimes this gets in the way of people getting to know the real me. Inside, I have a heart of gold. Sometimes we need to "peel the onion" to get to really know someone.Patience is a virtue.
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2/9/2008 11:14 am |
Hi Michael- I agree. I think women are visual beings too. Physical attraction is important---hey that's what caught my attention when I saw your picture. It's not what keeps me coming back to your blogs though. You are so much deeper than your outward appearance- I find that even more attractive. There is something so beautiful about a man who reflects Jesus in his life.
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2/9/2008 11:57 am |
I think looks do matter very much.....and that's why Internet dating is so difficult. It's very easy to take one look at a photo and then off to the next. I'll admit communicating helps, but it's also a danger zone...because emailing and blogging is concentrated wording sometimes to each other's benefit or detriment. So in person even having told others you'd never date anyone who (fill-in-the-blank) you can sometimes actually overlook that very flaw and love them anyhow. There's just so many factors involved in the playground of the heart....though we have principles, it's best to be open to other fish in the sea!!
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1 post 2/9/2008 12:54 pm |
Michael, If both men & women would stop pretending to be someone that they're not, forcing themselves into a situation where they must keep up that false persona, then we could all get to know & fall in love with a REAL person.....of flesh & blood...hair/no hair....thin/average/curvy/fat....stretch marks....belly/no belly...scars....warts & all...(you get the idea). How great would it be if people were truly honest about not only what they look like, but what & who they really are as people. To be totally and completely raw & exposed to that other person would be taking a huge risk most would say, but think about how glorious it would be when you, through honesty, find that physical & spiritual connection. God created woman for man so that man would not be lonely....Men and women forget this.......God made someone out there for each of us and when both men, and especially women, truly get this, that's when they will trust in God, begin to relax, be themselves, & stop pretending. Only then will they find him or her. DiDi
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UGH - the heart is NOT a playground!!!!! * Sin is sin. Careful what comes across your lips & out your finger tips!!! * We are all the Body of Christ. Let's treat each other as such, with the same respect we give to HIM!! * Relationship advice: DO NOT make someone a PRIORITY, when they ONLY make you an OPTION!! * A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man has to seek HIM in order to find her!!
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2/9/2008 1:21 pm |
UGH - the heart is NOT a playground!!!!! I'd never mean......to be played around with.
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2/9/2008 8:09 pm |
Michael, First of all there are more women that look at your blogs brother than men! (Me included) I am sure that you should know now that we find you visually pleasing. But I think many of us women would not continue to keep looking at your blogs if there wasn't something more. Secondly, there does have to be some physical but a man doesnt have to be a certain size for me to like him. I guess after having a hunk for a husband and seeing how "ugly" he was when he ran from God and became abusive makes me not put such emphasis on looks. Looks aren't everything. I do think though that in your blog about the blind date, it wasn't an issue of her looks but an issue of honesty! I can understand that perfectly!! I have had that happen to me several times online! Hang in there! ~Katrina "God has called us to be fishers of men not keepers of the aquarium.  ~Katrina
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2/9/2008 9:35 pm |
To be honest!! yes women are visual too.... the eye doth please us BUT In a pure way see the beauty ... BUT I could never marry a man who I did not click with..... no matter what he looked like, To me the spiritual connection is probably the most important!! The fact that I can feel totally unashamed and totally me!!! in this persons presence is awesome!!! So looks yeah, they are there, but a really good looking man can become butt ugly if he has no heart inside...... this was a funny blog.....  Netty Lying in bed would be a truely supreme experience if only I had a coloured pencil long enough to draw on the ceiling
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2/10/2008 3:39 am |
It depends on the situation. I know alot of men won't even give a woman the time of day if she is overweight. Where women are relational, and don't isolate themselves from a person because of their weight. I am not saying this is all cases, but alot. Like now I am over weight, but I am rapidly losing weight. Can you tell this from seeing me for the first time, no.. Because you have not seen what I was before.. I would be VERY interested to see how many and what kind of responses I get once I am much slimmer... Then the shallowness will show!
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2/10/2008 9:52 am |
Michael, for me the most important thing is the heart, it is the heart that I fell in love with, when I first met my boyfriend. His openness to share the Good News with the customers at the work place and the readiness to help people in need.... Of course, I am happy that he takes good care of himself and is able to communicate intelligently And the other thing is even he is all worked out, his tommy was always soft, a good place to put your head , I hope it still is that way What God does in our lives during the waiting period is just as important as what we are waiting for. John Ortberg CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS
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2/10/2008 9:53 am |
Michael, for me the most important thing is the heart, it is the heart that I fell in love with, when I first met my boyfriend. His openness to share the Good News with the customers at the work place and the readiness to help people in need.... Of course, I am happy that he takes good care of himself and is able to communicate intelligently And the other thing is even he is all worked out, his tommy was always soft, a good place to put your head , I hope it still is that way What God does in our lives during the waiting period is just as important as what we are waiting for. John Ortberg CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS
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Micheal, if you find a wife and she is all perfect physically and she were to get ill or injured and a medication or illness made her gain weight or lose her hair or her complexion not as clear as it once was, or God forbid, should lose a limb or ability to walk......... would you stop loving her? Would you leave her or would she still be the same person you asked to marry? And I mean not just by obligation but a true undying deep love, that maybe even stronger during whatever trial. Would you still love her the way you did or even more than the day you married her? I ask this not because I want to beat you up, NO WAY, I love you, my dear Brother and friend, I do!! But I seriously want to understand MEN. I commend you for being so brave and honest about how you feel. Many men, so many men feel the same way as what you posted and so many men are cowards to admit it. What I am trying to understand is this male species that I love so very much. What my wish is for men to see the inside of a woman. Don't you think that someone heavy just might not be happy? I can only speak for myself, many times I have gone up in weight is because of a medication that blew me up because of an allergic reaction or in this case this year my terrible surgery in March. The other surgeries I lost so much weight that even my skinny clothes were falling off me. I was horrifyingly skinny for which I was told was not attractive at all. But this last one they pumped me with Decadron which is better that Prednisone (if there is such a thing as "better" ) but nonetheless just as damaging. But still and all it's just 14 lbs but 14 lbs too many for me and I know that I've been told I'm fat or not as skinny as they like - UGH!! But, anyway, back to my point. I wish men would fall in love with a woman in more ways than just physical. Fall in love with someone that shares your mission and vision. With someone that loves the LORD and can walk together for HIM, with HIM together and honor God together. Someone where you can be an encouragement to each other with unconditional love and work out together, TOGETHER and not only build an unbreakable bond with each other but get in shape together for the shear fact of being healthy, happy, in love and fit to have a long life together. Sometimes men, it takes the love and support and togetherness and caring to work out together to build a woman's self esteem. Sometimes its that push and the unconditional love we need after being dump or dragged thru the wringer by our ex-spouse that sends us to feel that way about ourselves. We don't need men to confirm our low self esteem. We are well aware of it and how we became that way. I'll admit it as strong of a WOG that I am, that insecurity creeps up alot in me. It would be nice if our MOG's would show us that we are worthy of unconditional love to feel better about ourselves. Just as myself as a WOG would do for any man that GOD blesses me to be with!! I will always remember to do that but not out of necessity but because my heart will be over flowing with love for him that it will just come naturally from my heart exactly what I am feeling. Not speaking for all women, but we girls talk and many, many feel that way. We are tired, we are doing it ALL alone, we don't make time for ourselves as we should!! We put everyone else first and us last. Sometimes we are just mentally exhausted, the physical just has nothing left to give. Even though we know we are more energized when we do the physical. Sometimes the mental is stronger!! Does that make sense? It is true, at least for me. It would be nice to have a MOG be amazing and just love us for ourselves. I guarantee you that the MOG will be rewarded and great things will emerge from the WOG if we were. I can only speak for myself but when I am happy, I am skinny and when I am not, I am a bit overweight. But that is just me. People know what's going on with me emotionally when they watch me dance and yoyo up and down a couple sizes. I AM SO SORRY to HOG your BLOG but I do want to also say Michael that I do believe it was more the deceit that bugged you because if she was not honest in revealing her true self to you, what else is she hiding and visa versa for the men too. I also love the ones who put Athletic for their body type when clearly their picture shows they are not! But it wouldn't stop me from dating someone that I fit in so many other ways. I just LOVE teddy bear guys and big guys and actually the muscular ones are a turn off cause they might possibly love their own bodies more than mine!! LOL You know the ones who can't let a mirror go by without admiring themselves. Hey buddy get your eyes off your pecs and get your eyes on mine!! Just want a person to be them and the more vulnerable side and the more honest and humble person earns more points in my heart any day than their size. Their love of the LORD must be evident in all walks of their life as well!! Love ya Michael!! You are truly a wonderful MOG!! Keep flashing us that incredible smile!! ((HUGS)) Ginny * Sin is sin. Careful what comes across your lips & out your finger tips!!! * We are all the Body of Christ. Let's treat each other as such, with the same respect we give to HIM!! * Relationship advice: DO NOT make someone a PRIORITY, when they ONLY make you an OPTION!! * A woman's heart should be so lost in God, that a man has to seek HIM in order to find her!!
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Micheal, if you find a wife and she is all perfect physically and she were to get ill or injured and a medication or illness made her gain weight or lose her hair or her complexion not as clear as it once was, or God forbid, should lose a limb or ability to walk......... would you stop loving her? Would you leave her or would she still be the same person you asked to marry? And I mean not just by obligation but a true undying deep love, that maybe even stronger during whatever trial. Would you still love her the way you did or even more than the day you married her? I ask this not because I want to beat you up, NO WAY, I love you, my dear Brother and friend, I do!! But I seriously want to understand MEN. I commend you for being so brave and honest about how you feel. Many men, so many men feel the same way as what you posted and so many men are cowards to admit it. What I am trying to understand is this male species that I love so very much. What my wish is for men to see the inside of a woman. Don't you think that someone heavy just might not be happy? I can only speak for myself, many times I have gone up in weight is because of a medication that blew me up because of an allergic reaction or in this case this year my terrible surgery in March. The other surgeries I lost so much weight that even my skinny clothes were falling off me. I was horrifyingly skinny for which I was told was not attractive at all. But this last one they pumped me with Decadron which is better that Prednisone (if there is such a thing as "better" ) but nonetheless just as damaging. But still and all it's just 14 lbs but 14 lbs too many for me and I know that I've been told I'm fat or not as skinny as they like - UGH!! But, anyway, back to my point. I wish men would fall in love with a woman in more ways than just physical. Fall in love with someone that shares your mission and vision. With someone that loves the LORD and can walk together for HIM, with HIM together and honor God together. Someone where you can be an encouragement to each other with unconditional love and work out together, TOGETHER and not only build an unbreakable bond with each other but get in shape together for the shear fact of being healthy, happy, in love and fit to have a long life together. Sometimes men, it takes the love and support and togetherness and caring to work out together to build a woman's self esteem. Sometimes its that push and the unconditional love we need after being dump or dragged thru the wringer by our ex-spouse that sends us to feel that way about ourselves. We don't need men to confirm our low self esteem. We are well aware of it and how we became that way. I'll admit it as strong of a WOG that I am, that insecurity creeps up alot in me. It would be nice if our MOG's would show us that we are worthy of unconditional love to feel better about ourselves. Just as myself as a WOG would do for any man that GOD blesses me to be with!! I will always remember to do that but not out of necessity but because my heart will be over flowing with love for him that it will just come naturally from my heart exactly what I am feeling. Not speaking for all women, but we girls talk and many, many feel that way. We are tired, we are doing it ALL alone, we don't make time for ourselves as we should!! We put everyone else first and us last. Sometimes we are just mentally exhausted, the physical just has nothing left to give. Even though we know we are more energized when we do the physical. Sometimes the mental is stronger!! Does that make sense? It is true, at least for me. It would be nice to have a MOG be amazing and just love us for ourselves. I guarantee you that the MOG will be rewarded and great things will emerge from the WOG if we were. I can only speak for myself but when I am happy, I am skinny and when I am not, I am a bit overweight. But that is just me. People know what's going on with me emotionally when they watch me dance and yoyo up and down a couple sizes. I AM SO SORRY to HOG your BLOG but I do want to also say Michael that I do believe it was more the deceit that bugged you because if she was not honest in revealing her true self to you, what else is she hiding and visa versa for the men too. I also love the ones who put Athletic for their body type when clearly their picture shows they are not! But it wouldn't stop me from dating someone that I fit in so many other ways. I just LOVE teddy bear guys and big guys and actually the muscular ones are a turn off cause they might possibly love their own bodies more than mine!! LOL You know the ones who can't let a mirror go by without admiring themselves. Hey buddy get your eyes off your pecs and get your eyes on mine!! Just want a person to be them and the more vulnerable side and the more honest and humble person earns more points in my heart any day than their size. Their love of the LORD must be evident in all walks of their life as well!! Love ya Michael!! You are truly a wonderful MOG!! Keep flashing us that incredible smile!! ((HUGS)) Ginny For most men there is a beauty that attracts them initially in to the start of a relationship... the inner selves start to reveal theirselves after many hours of communication... I also believe that being able to communicate in person is a greater key to a successful relationship than the many hours spent on IM or cell phone's or emailing... personal presense carry's a tremendous communication without words...Once in a commited relationship of marriage... a man and the woman should be there forever no matter what illnesses or conditions may sacrifice the first looks that we begin with... Personally my ex gained some 70 pounds after we married and it did not bother me a bit... however it made her feel horrible and she continually beat herself up so much as to think I personally didnt find her attractive and I did... She wanted the seperation and ultimately the divorce... she was in love with an elder at our church... and they married. I can fluctuate 14 pounds from week to week... guess thats the way of men... or at least this one.You just keep on smilin!!! You are a beautiful and confident WOG!!! Love you too (((((((Ginny))))))) michael Let the SON shine!!! michael
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