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 | Blogs > racefan4 > My First Blog > When They Say Goodbye... |
When They Say Goodbye...
11/4/2009 4:36 am |
Saying "Goodbye" to loved ones, for an extended period of time, has to be the hardest thing for a person to do. We seem to take for granted sometimes, having our loved ones present in our lives, on a daily basis. My son and I share a very close bond as each other was all we had, for most of his life. Then, he met a wonderful girl and got married. Well, I didn't feel like I'd lost him, rather I felt like I was gaining a daughter, as Kim is the most loving, kind, and thoughtful girl my son could have chosen, and I've always shared in their joy. We've done so many things together, in the course of their 10-year marriage, including being present for the birth of my two grandchildren. What a blessing it has been to be a part of them, to watch them grow up, and partake of their lives. But, now my son has informed me that he's taking his family and moving to Kentucky. It appears that this move will happen very soon. I felt like my heart was ripped from my chest and it was difficult to stop the tears, my next breath didn't seem to come. Of course, I understand their dilemma, Kim was laid off from her job, my son's hours were cut, and there's very little prospect for work here in our area. They're going to have to leave their house behind, along with family and friends. My son's been offered a job at a prison, making a good salary, with benefits, including health insurance for his family. Kim's parents live there and are offering them their 4-bedroom home, so that they can downsize for their retirement. So, you'd think I would be happy for them, right? You'd think that in wanting the best for your children, I'd feel blessed that they'll be able to do better there, right? That I'd be glad to have my grandkids get to know and love their other grandparents, right? That I'd be willing to accept that this is God's plan for their future, right? WRONG!!! When they say goodbye, it will be the hardest day of my life. When they say goodbye, I won't feel blessed or joyful. When they say goodbye, a part of me will go with them and I don't know if I will feel complete again. They've been such an important part of my every day that something will always seem to be missing. When they say goodbye, even God's perfect Will for them won't console me. I dread for that day to come, although I know it is, and very soon. I covet your prayers. NOTHING that happens, happens for NOTHING  I Am Truly Blessed By Each Of You Here At BC, Yes, Even You!!! What's In YOUR Past? Hey BigChurch! We're Back From Our Honeymoon! Does God REALLY Promise Not To Allow More Than We Can Bear? New Members at BigChurch, WATCH OUT!!! |
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11/25/2009 12:18 pm |
Hi Shar!  Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it's comforting to know that others have endured similar challenges and lived to tell about it, lol. The time is drawing nearer, this will be the last holidays we share, so it will be very special indeed. It must have been difficult for you when your daughter first moved, especially in light of the problems she was having. I guess, as parents, we always want to fix our kids boo boos and make them feel better, no matter how old they get. I', so sorry to hear that you can't be with your new grand baby, my two are the joy of my life and I'm spending every available moment with them. We had such fun yesterday, coloring, playing games, etc. I think the thing I fear most is that they'll forget me, but my wonderful husband suggested we buy them a laptop for Christmas, with a webcam, then I can see them and talk to them daily. He also knows what it will be like, as he left Boston 3 years ago and his children and 8 grandchildren and misses them terribly. However, we went to the Smokey Mountains for our honeymoon and he loved it so much, he wants to look into getting some property there for vacations. We decided to look in Tennessee which is close to Kentucky and perhaps one day, God willing, we'll be a little closer. God bless you and I'll be praying your bacteria clears up soon, so you can be blessed by your grandchildren!  it sounds like you and allan are working on ways to make this transition less painful. that's really good. the key is keeping in touch and that's much easier now than it was when it was limited to letters and an occasional short phone call (if you lived on a limited income as has usually been my case). now, long-distance phoning is affordable, people can use computers, even if they don't have their own. the communication lines are just so much more accessible! (i am not discounting physical touching and being in the same place. that is VERY important.) but, it is so wonderful, that one can be more in touch with someone who lives thousands of miles away than you are with your next-door-neighbor!! space really doesn't matter much anymore. and, flying, which wasn't even an option to me when i was growing up, is available to most everyone at least once in awhile, at least on special fares. so, remember the song, He's got the whole world in His hands. He's got you and me, baby, in His hands. we're all in His hands. how many hours' drive is it to get there? how many hours' flight is it? how about a train ride? how about meeting half-way? have you seen the little kids on the TV commercials emailing? me thinks that this is doable. (this is how i tried to find my comfort in my new situation. when i know that it takes me a 2-hour train-ride, plus another 1/2-hour train ride to get to manhattan, then i know that i am not that far from my family and that i can get there myself. i am not stranded here.) of course, right now i can't go visiting due to my illness, and they can't come visiting, again due to my illness; but, hopefully, prayerfully, God willing, i will be well soon. i so enjoyed hearing from you and i am so looking forward to spending time with my family, including my granddaughter! i also want to take the opportunity to congratulate you and allan on your marriage. i am very happy for you both. God bless you!  sharFather Son HolySpirit  sharFather Son HolySpirit
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 11/23/2009 4:24 am |
i understand terrie. i remember when my daughter and her husband moved from seattle washington to new york city. that was in 2002, just after my husband had left me. it was a horrible time. she had a terrible case of culture shock once she got to the city. she'd call day after day and cry and i'd talk with her and tell her that it would take time and ask what she was doing. she was sitting in their apartment with no furniture waiting. she didn't know anyone and her sense of self was attached to being recognized. so, she'd take their bulldog to the dog park and she started talking to the "dog people". when i first visited her, she took me to the park and introduced me to "fido's mom, pepe's dad". she didn't know the people's names. later, she and her hubby found a pub. and, that was the beginning of a social life in nyc. but, i got to visit once or twice a year (and at the end of each visit, i never wanted to go back to washington). my heart was where my daughter was. well, finally this year, i moved to new york state. i didn't shower her with my needs during the years, as she had her own needs to work through, which included a very difficult marriage. i just knew that being so far away was challenging for me, as my heart was here. so, i moved here and this fall i became a gramma for the first time. (just one little problem: i can't see my grandbaby because i picked up a bacteria from a surgery and it's way too dangerous for an infant.) yeah, having your family go is tough, but hanging on is worse. my mom told me that i should have stayed in washington until she dies. parents can really lay trips on their kids, no matter what their ages. my son and his wife just lost their home, too. and, they too had to move from one city to another. they moved to the city where my daughter-in-law's family live. that is where they both used to live also. God bless you as you work through this. may you be a support for your family as they go through this challenging transition. shar  Thank you so much for sharing your experience, it's comforting to know that others have endured similar challenges and lived to tell about it, lol. The time is drawing nearer, this will be the last holidays we share, so it will be very special indeed. It must have been difficult for you when your daughter first moved, especially in light of the problems she was having. I guess, as parents, we always want to fix our kids boo boos and make them feel better, no matter how old they get. I', so sorry to hear that you can't be with your new grand baby, my two are the joy of my life and I'm spending every available moment with them. We had such fun yesterday, coloring, playing games, etc. I think the thing I fear most is that they'll forget me, but my wonderful husband suggested we buy them a laptop for Christmas, with a webcam, then I can see them and talk to them daily. He also knows what it will be like, as he left Boston 3 years ago and his children and 8 grandchildren and misses them terribly. However, we went to the Smokey Mountains for our honeymoon and he loved it so much, he wants to look into getting some property there for vacations. We decided to look in Tennessee which is close to Kentucky and perhaps one day, God willing, we'll be a little closer. God bless you and I'll be praying your bacteria clears up soon, so you can be blessed by your grandchildren! NOTHING that happens, happens for NOTHING I Am Truly Blessed By Each Of You Here At BC, Yes, Even You!!! What's In YOUR Past? Hey BigChurch! We're Back From Our Honeymoon! Does God REALLY Promise Not To Allow More Than We Can Bear? New Members at BigChurch, WATCH OUT!!!
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11/22/2009 9:48 pm |
i understand terrie. i remember when my daughter and her husband moved from seattle washington to new york city. that was in 2002, just after my husband had left me. it was a horrible time. she had a terrible case of culture shock once she got to the city. she'd call day after day and cry and i'd talk with her and tell her that it would take time and ask what she was doing. she was sitting in their apartment with no furniture waiting. she didn't know anyone and her sense of self was attached to being recognized. so, she'd take their bulldog to the dog park and she started talking to the "dog people". when i first visited her, she took me to the park and introduced me to "fido's mom, pepe's dad". she didn't know the people's names. later, she and her hubby found a pub. and, that was the beginning of a social life in nyc. but, i got to visit once or twice a year (and at the end of each visit, i never wanted to go back to washington). my heart was where my daughter was. well, finally this year, i moved to new york state. i didn't shower her with my needs during the years, as she had her own needs to work through, which included a very difficult marriage. i just knew that being so far away was challenging for me, as my heart was here. so, i moved here and this fall i became a gramma for the first time. (just one little problem: i can't see my grandbaby because i picked up a bacteria from a surgery and it's way too dangerous for an infant.) yeah, having your family go is tough, but hanging on is worse. my mom told me that i should have stayed in washington until she dies. parents can really lay trips on their kids, no matter what their ages. my son and his wife just lost their home, too. and, they too had to move from one city to another. they moved to the city where my daughter-in-law's family live. that is where they both used to live also. God bless you as you work through this. may you be a support for your family as they go through this challenging transition. shar sharFather Son HolySpirit
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11/8/2009 9:18 am |
Maybe you could some time,move near them. My sister moved to Florida to be near her daughters family. She is happy She did It's nice to see you, welcome to Blogland!  Thank you for commenting!It's a good idea and my husband and I have been talking of getting a vacation place in the mountains of Tennessee, not too far from Kentucky, then we could visit more often. But, I have a business here for 23 years and my husband is about to open his own business too, so I don't see us able to move anywhere, until we retire. But then, yes we'd love to live in that area. What part of Florida does your sister live in? It's always a blessing to be close to your family. God bless you! Terrie NOTHING that happens, happens for NOTHING I Am Truly Blessed By Each Of You Here At BC, Yes, Even You!!! What's In YOUR Past? Hey BigChurch! We're Back From Our Honeymoon! Does God REALLY Promise Not To Allow More Than We Can Bear? New Members at BigChurch, WATCH OUT!!!
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11/7/2009 4:49 pm |
Maybe you could some time,move near them. My sister moved to Florida to be near her daughters family. She is happy She did
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11/6/2009 4:28 am |
Just stopping by to say Hi. "Hi!"  Thanks for stopping by! God bless you! NOTHING that happens, happens for NOTHING I Am Truly Blessed By Each Of You Here At BC, Yes, Even You!!! What's In YOUR Past? Hey BigChurch! We're Back From Our Honeymoon! Does God REALLY Promise Not To Allow More Than We Can Bear? New Members at BigChurch, WATCH OUT!!!
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11/5/2009 7:33 am |
Just stopping by to say Hi. "Hi!" Salvation is of the LORD
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11/5/2009 4:43 am |
WOW Gods PERFECT TIMING that you would recently become a newlywed and just so happen to marry such a wonderful man like AlanB... What I say here may not be the words of comfort that you may have wanted to hear, but don't you think it's FUNNY (IRONIC) that GOD would choose such a time as this for you to finally be with your SOULMATE? Isn't GOD just grand... wonderful LOVING FATHER... Your words did reassure me and remind me of the many blessings in my life, I have no business complaining. Sometimes my flesh simply overrules my logic. Yes, He is an awesome God and a wonderful, loving Father! God bless you! NOTHING that happens, happens for NOTHING I Am Truly Blessed By Each Of You Here At BC, Yes, Even You!!! What's In YOUR Past? Hey BigChurch! We're Back From Our Honeymoon! Does God REALLY Promise Not To Allow More Than We Can Bear? New Members at BigChurch, WATCH OUT!!!
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11/5/2009 4:40 am |
Big hugs my sweet Sister.  As always, your healing words are like a soothing balm, thank you for being you! May you and yours be richly blessed! NOTHING that happens, happens for NOTHING I Am Truly Blessed By Each Of You Here At BC, Yes, Even You!!! What's In YOUR Past? Hey BigChurch! We're Back From Our Honeymoon! Does God REALLY Promise Not To Allow More Than We Can Bear? New Members at BigChurch, WATCH OUT!!!
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11/5/2009 4:38 am |
I love the way you express yourself, others can surely relate to what you're experiencing. And you're in my prayers. Thank you for your encouragement and prayers! Sometimes my emotions overwhelm me and I lose track of the things that I know. I am truly blessed in so many ways, God is good and His mercy and lovingkindness endure forever! God's continued blessings my new friend! NOTHING that happens, happens for NOTHING I Am Truly Blessed By Each Of You Here At BC, Yes, Even You!!! What's In YOUR Past? Hey BigChurch! We're Back From Our Honeymoon! Does God REALLY Promise Not To Allow More Than We Can Bear? New Members at BigChurch, WATCH OUT!!!
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11/5/2009 4:34 am |
When my Daddy died, I missed hearing his ring click on the wheel of his wheelchair. A year later when Mom died, I missed how we would knock back and forth on the walls of our connecting bathrooms to signal our good mornings. It is now 14/15 years later. I still miss those things. However, in many ways I feel more whole right now, than I have ever felt. The pain is horrible. You will never completely overcome the longing in your heart. BUT, you will get to the point where life will be GOOD again. Even so, I will pray for you. GBY Thank you for relating to me and for your prayers and kind words. Life IS good, so is God, so I shouldn't complain. Sometimes, my heart overrules the things that I know with my intellect. God bless you sweet lady! NOTHING that happens, happens for NOTHING I Am Truly Blessed By Each Of You Here At BC, Yes, Even You!!! What's In YOUR Past? Hey BigChurch! We're Back From Our Honeymoon! Does God REALLY Promise Not To Allow More Than We Can Bear? New Members at BigChurch, WATCH OUT!!!
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11/5/2009 4:31 am |
Praying for ya' (((((((Terrie)))))))!! Gorgeous family you have here!! As usual, thank you for your love, support, and prayers. You always keep me lifted up and I am grateful! God bless you and (((((((Marilyn))))))) !! NOTHING that happens, happens for NOTHING I Am Truly Blessed By Each Of You Here At BC, Yes, Even You!!! What's In YOUR Past? Hey BigChurch! We're Back From Our Honeymoon! Does God REALLY Promise Not To Allow More Than We Can Bear? New Members at BigChurch, WATCH OUT!!!
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11/5/2009 4:29 am |
God is always ahead of us Terrie and it's in bringing you and Alan together at this time we can now see how God KNEW in advance this day would come in your life where you could have felt so alone but now you can celebrate this season as Alan is there to help you through this time of loss. I remember when my eldest Son first went around Australia as a teenager and the grief within my heart was constant until he returned home. It still happens today for me when my children leave. My youngest Son now resides in the UK and every time I have to say fare well my heart always feels this enormous gap within. I guess as a Parent this never leaves us. and it's not until their own children grow and leave the nest that they soon realize this empty nest feeling... My house has been busy with children for 36 years Terrie and it always feels so empty when there is no other sound except my breathe. I guess that's where the blessings of Grandchildren come into the picture where they soon fill that empty hole. SEASONS Terrie SEASONS.... we all go through the seasons in our lives from being an infant to toddler to teenager to young adult to adult to having our own Family if we are blessed to growing old and being on our own. Make the most of the seasonal changes as they come and go Terrie for as I said God has blessed you with Alan to help you through this adjusting period. In my heart and prayers always Chris xoxo Yes, I do see His hand and His timing in all of this, and His will be done. I was just feeling a little blue contemplating the enormity of this in my little world. You're right, we're ALWAYS gonna be parents, even when the kids are grown and gone. Thank you for your love and prayers my friend! NOTHING that happens, happens for NOTHING I Am Truly Blessed By Each Of You Here At BC, Yes, Even You!!! What's In YOUR Past? Hey BigChurch! We're Back From Our Honeymoon! Does God REALLY Promise Not To Allow More Than We Can Bear? New Members at BigChurch, WATCH OUT!!!
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11/4/2009 8:10 pm |
God is always ahead of us Terrie and it's in bringing you and Alan together at this time we can now see how God KNEW in advance this day would come in your life where you could have felt so alone but now you can celebrate this season as Alan is there to help you through this time of loss. I remember when my eldest Son first went around Australia as a teenager and the grief within my heart was constant until he returned home. It still happens today for me when my children leave. My youngest Son now resides in the UK and every time I have to say fare well my heart always feels this enormous gap within. I guess as a Parent this never leaves us. and it's not until their own children grow and leave the nest that they soon realize this empty nest feeling... My house has been busy with children for 36 years Terrie and it always feels so empty when there is no other sound except my breathe. I guess that's where the blessings of Grandchildren come into the picture where they soon fill that empty hole. SEASONS Terrie SEASONS.... we all go through the seasons in our lives from being an infant to toddler to teenager to young adult to adult to having our own Family if we are blessed to growing old and being on our own. Make the most of the seasonal changes as they come and go Terrie for as I said God has blessed you with Alan to help you through this adjusting period. In my heart and prayers always Chris xoxo God's Angel  The truth,The Light,The Way THE LORD PRESERVES ALL WHO LOVE HIM........psalm145-20........
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11/4/2009 12:43 pm |
Praying for ya' (((((((Terrie)))))))!! Gorgeous family you have here!! How can we NOT praise Him - Marilyn
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11/4/2009 11:23 am |
When my Daddy died, I missed hearing his ring click on the wheel of his wheelchair. A year later when Mom died, I missed how we would knock back and forth on the walls of our connecting bathrooms to signal our good mornings. It is now 14/15 years later. I still miss those things. However, in many ways I feel more whole right now, than I have ever felt. The pain is horrible. You will never completely overcome the longing in your heart. BUT, you will get to the point where life will be GOOD again. Even so, I will pray for you. GBY
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11/4/2009 7:13 am |
I love the way you express yourself, others can surely relate to what you're experiencing. And you're in my prayers.
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11/4/2009 6:46 am |
Big hugs my sweet Sister. Romans 14 verse 5 One person regards one day holier than other days, and another regards them all alike. 3 Each must be fully convinced in his own mind.
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11/4/2009 5:37 am |
WOW Gods PERFECT TIMING that you would recently become a newlywed and just so happen to marry such a wonderful man like AlanB... What I say here may not be the words of comfort that you may have wanted to hear, but don't you think it's FUNNY (IRONIC) that GOD would choose such a time as this for you to finally be with your SOULMATE? Isn't GOD just grand... wonderful LOVING FATHER... Rom. 5:8 while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us
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