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Unsolicited Advice
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How do you react when someone tells you what to do but you haven't asked for their opinion of what you should do? Do you bristle? Do you listen? | ||
 10/21/2009 10:44 pm |
Do you want the advice?
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10/22/2009 12:28 am |
I plug my ears, stick out my tongue and go NAH NAH NAH and pretend not to hear. I do usually think a bit about what is said and see if I can rationalize any of it away. If I can't, then I decide if I want to accept or reject. Life is a choice and life is what we make it. Bottom line is we should try to not loose our joy. Many if not most people may well be emotional vampires.
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10/22/2009 12:56 am |
What's your goal? Do you want to be close minded or open minded. Even if I disagree or wouldn't approve of un-solicited advice we are here to win souls assuming our souls are saved.
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10/22/2009 4:45 am |
Do you want the advice?
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10/22/2009 4:47 am |
I plug my ears, stick out my tongue and go NAH NAH NAH and pretend not to hear. I do usually think a bit about what is said and see if I can rationalize any of it away. If I can't, then I decide if I want to accept or reject. Life is a choice and life is what we make it. Bottom line is we should try to not loose our joy. Many if not most people may well be emotional vampires.
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10/22/2009 4:53 am |
What's your goal? Do you want to be close minded or open minded. Even if I disagree or wouldn't approve of un-solicited advice we are here to win souls assuming our souls are saved.
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10/22/2009 5:10 am |
Yes....*S* Somehow I've learned how to listen to the sound of the sun going down. ~ R. Crowell
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10/22/2009 5:37 am |
I? You? Someone? People in general? Specific cases? Opinions?  How do "you" react, meaning how "one" ought to react? Based on what criteria? When "someone" gives/offers his/her advice, or try to impose/force it on you? There are "a lot of combinations" here. Maybe you could work out some kind of statistics, but you have to narrow your research sources to ONE selected group of people. Conversely, you could focus on ONE or SEVERAL different reactions, and then try to find a pattern in order to link it/them with one or several specific groups. When the above is somewhat discerned and you decide to pick up a specific group, then you might also venture to reformulate the question, having yourself as the main subject. Here's the example, based on your text: «How do "I" react when someone tells "me" what to do, but "I" haven't asked for "their" opinion of what "I" should do? Do "I" bristle? Do "I" listen?» 
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10/22/2009 6:03 am |
Hey, here is another reversed formulation: «How do you react when you ask someone to tell you what to do, but they don't want to/refuse to give you their opinion of what you should do? Do you bristle? Do you get disappointed?» Well, to "bristle", or "listen" here may not be the right choice of words. One could get frustrated, let down, not receiving help, etc. On the other hand, it could also be you misunderstood that person! That someone didn't really mean to refuse to help you, but wasn't able to help you at all. Perhaps it was a strict personal choice you had to make ( by yourself), or that there weren't any of "only-one-or-best choice" to give the opinion or the advice on.
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10/22/2009 6:35 am |
Yes....*S*
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10/22/2009 7:05 am |
Hey, here is another reversed formulation: «How do you react when you ask someone to tell you what to do, but they don't want to/refuse to give you their opinion of what you should do? Do you bristle? Do you get disappointed?» Well, to "bristle", or "listen" here may not be the right choice of words. One could get frustrated, let down, not receiving help, etc. On the other hand, it could also be you misunderstood that person! That someone didn't really mean to refuse to help you, but wasn't able to help you at all. Perhaps it was a strict personal choice you had to make ( by yourself), or that there weren't any of "only-one-or-best choice" to give the opinion or the advice on.  Signed: Ms. Analytical PS I, too, tend to see all possibilities in a simple situation. It's nice to see I'm not alone in this!
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10/22/2009 10:58 am |
i guess if they are saying it in a nice way,and dont do it very often, i would just be polite, and at least take the time to listen. but if they take a more hostile approach,i would simply tell them that you didnt ask for their opinion.
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10/22/2009 11:09 am |
Well, Mr. Analytical, 'you' means the one reading the blog post. If 'bristle' and/or 'listen' are not the readers' reaction they can answer 'no;' they are not the required answers or the only possible answers to the first question - just thought 'seeds' to get a conversation started. Signed: Ms. Analytical PS I, too, tend to see all possibilities in a simple situation. It's nice to see I'm not alone in this! I would need a "practical example" before I could ever answer any yes or no, listen or bristle! I am have been BristerBate for so long, not really BristleBate! LOL! But in our "context", when it comes to a "spiritual discernment", I'd say it's much easier to give the "right" answers, or not say anything at all. Right?
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10/22/2009 11:13 am |
Well, Mr. Analytical, 'you' means the one reading the blog post. If 'bristle' and/or 'listen' are not the readers' reaction they can answer 'no;' they are not the required answers or the only possible answers to the first question - just thought 'seeds' to get a conversation started. Signed: Ms. Analytical PS I, too, tend to see all possibilities in a simple situation. It's nice to see I'm not alone in this! I would need a "practical example" before I could ever answer any yes or no, listen or bristle! I have been BristerBate for so long, not really BristleBate! LOL! But in our "context", when it comes to a "spiritual discernment", I'd say it's much easier to give the "right" answers, and "understand" the intentions/motives behind everything that is uttered. Sometimes might be better not to say anything at all. Right?
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10/22/2009 1:00 pm |
Just say, "Thank you, I will consider that." Then, do whatever you think is best, just as you normally would do.
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10/22/2009 1:27 pm |
i guess if they are saying it in a nice way,and dont do it very often, i would just be polite, and at least take the time to listen. but if they take a more hostile approach,i would simply tell them that you didnt ask for their opinion.
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10/22/2009 1:32 pm |
Well, Ms. Analytical, all coins have always another side: You seem to put and have always put your thoughts into action! They often remain only thoughts for me and thus on a theoretical level! I would need a "practical example" before I could ever answer any yes or no, listen or bristle! I have been BristerBate for so long, not really BristleBate! LOL! But in our "context", when it comes to a "spiritual discernment", I'd say it's much easier to give the "right" answers, and "understand" the intentions/motives behind everything that is uttered. Sometimes might be better not to say anything at all. Right?
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10/22/2009 1:49 pm |
A lot said in only one word! Somehow I've learned how to listen to the sound of the sun going down. ~ R. Crowell
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10/22/2009 2:33 pm |
thanks...*S*
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10/22/2009 3:26 pm |
The time that Jesus told the woman caught in adultery to 'go & sin no more' and the time Jesus told the rich young ruler to 'sell all you have and give to the poor' come to mind. In the former, she did not ask for His opinion, though being saved from stoning by Him I'm sure she was willing to listen. In the latter, the advice came only after the man not only asked for it but persisted for it! Just gives me food for thought... In the second case, the rich man was pharisaically righteous (since he followed and had followed all the law by the letter), but STILL he was convinced he "could do something extra by himself" by which he could "earn the right" to this eternal life! (But he was not even able to give up his richness for it = he was a slave of his own materialism!) Maybe more elaborated on some comments in: ☩ ☩ THERE ARE THOSE WHO HAVE PROBLEMS WITH JESUS being GOD and GOD being JESUS: YHWH IS YESHUA!!!☩ ☩ Good recommended reading: + + + WHOSE RIGHTEOUSNESS? WHOSE BLOOD? WHOSE PRICE? + + + 877
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10/22/2009 5:22 pm |
I see much consistency in the length of your responses, Mr. One Word Man... Somehow I've learned how to listen to the sound of the sun going down. ~ R. Crowell
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10/22/2009 8:19 pm |
Well I had this concern among others things for many years. Yes we are told to be positive and hang around positive people. And then to a point we aren't suppose to tolerate certain behaviors. Maybe look at this through a political perspective. I just don't like how politicians hand pick their audience or even limit questions. It stops info from being said even though not everything said is positive. And I know you didn't say specifically what this was about. And if people fear asking about stuff then that is closer to the problem in society than inappropriate statements. It depends on the situation but I welcome opposing statements because it's for my advantage. I'm confident in what I think.
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11/2/2009 7:09 am |
Emotional vampires? How about spiritual cannibalism. That's what a writer friend said when I told her about women that want to become like the men they're attracted to. How's that to take the thread off track.
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11/2/2009 5:25 pm |
It's just dust in the wind. Like dust, just brush it off and get on with it. A soft answer always speaks volumes
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11/4/2009 7:52 pm |
Si....*S*
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11/4/2009 7:59 pm |
I would say, in the woman's case the example was directed primarily to the Pharisees (blinded by what the letter said), as also in showing God's "ultimate judgment" (not man's -even based of previous rules), and mercy and forgiveness toward the sinful instincts of the woman - she didn't know what she did!. (Of course repentance from her herself is implicit!) In the second case, the rich man was pharisaically righteous (since he followed and had followed all the law by the letter), but STILL he was convinced he "could do something extra by himself" by which he could "earn the right" to this eternal life! (But he was not even able to give up his richness for it = he was a slave of his own materialism!) Maybe more elaborated on some comments in: ☩ ☩ THERE ARE THOSE WHO HAVE PROBLEMS WITH JESUS being GOD and GOD being JESUS: YHWH IS YESHUA!!!☩ ☩ Good recommended reading: + + + WHOSE RIGHTEOUSNESS? WHOSE BLOOD? WHOSE PRICE? + + + 877
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11/11/2009 10:19 am |
Emotional vampires? How about spiritual cannibalism. That's what a writer friend said when I told her about women that want to become like the men they're attracted to. How's that to take the thread off track. Fray my thread anytime!
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11/11/2009 10:22 am |
Well I had this concern among others things for many years. Yes we are told to be positive and hang around positive people. And then to a point we aren't suppose to tolerate certain behaviors. Maybe look at this through a political perspective. I just don't like how politicians hand pick their audience or even limit questions. It stops info from being said even though not everything said is positive. And I know you didn't say specifically what this was about. And if people fear asking about stuff then that is closer to the problem in society than inappropriate statements. It depends on the situation but I welcome opposing statements because it's for my advantage. I'm confident in what I think. It was a 'I need to vent' situation between friends.
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11/11/2009 10:23 am |
It's just dust in the wind. Like dust, just brush it off and get on with it. A soft answer always speaks volumes
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