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Buckle Up Buttercup So here it is late Sunday night as we approach the midnight hour and I am already dreading tomorrow at the office. When I was younger, I remember my stepfather coming home from the office, totally exhausted. Although he never complained, you could just tell he hated his job. Yet he has been in the same industry now since his mid 20s. I am sure you have seen those doormats that say One Nice Person and One Old Grouch lives here. That fit my dad to a T! Mom was always the nice one. Pop was grouchy. I always thought as a that I would never ever take a job that made me feel like he must have felt every day. No matter what I grew up to be, I knew quite young that I would want to want to do whatever I grew up to do. For the better part of my adult life, I have worked hard but at jobs I really enjoyed and ones where I could utilize my talents. They weren't the highest paying jobs but we made it through and I had tremendous perks and support from friends and family. Times are harder now. Many I know, have been laid off. Others like me are expected to work harder to make up for the missing bodies. Needless to say additional compensation is not offered. Now I find myself working, doing three times the work, and thankful for the job. But at the same time I dread every moment of it. I truly hate my job and while I am darn good at it, I have no desire to continue doing it. I find it creatively stifling at best and it does not utilize the talents God has given me. It's a good job and the money I make, although not close to the industry standard, is enough to keep my and I afloat with a roof over our heads with a supply of coupons to make it thru. God always comes thru for us some way, some how when things don't look so good. My current position is completely different than anything I have ever done before and while it has increased my skill set significantly, it has done so in more of an administrative end than creative. It is one that requires much consentration and detailed calculation. I guess I would fall in the lower middle class slot. I am a single parent who does not receive alimony or support. I have a 17 year old special needs who has meds that would cost in excess of $1,000 per month if I didnt have insurance. But I did purchase my own mobile home last Spring so it's mine and the banks! And my payment is cheaper than apartment rent!!!! God blessed me into getting a first time home buyer FHA loan on this used mobile home and land right before the whole housing mess broke wide open. A part of me says I need to buckle up buttercup. Be thankful for the job and keep busting hump for this company. I have been there for over three years now and some of the key players have changed in the past year...maybe things will get better. Keep your nose to the grind stone and ride this economic wave of doom out. As long as I have people to pay, I have a job. And a job that I need to do right as a representative of His . So even if the company treats me like crap, if I do my job as I should for Him then it makes a lot more sense and makes it a bit easier to carry on with it all. However... another part thinks I am a nutcase to continue to drive every morning in Houston traffic to go to the unsavory Greenpoint (Gunnspoint) area of Houston. Some days I spend up to four hours just getting to and from the office. And when I am already mentally spent, well, sometimes it's just not a good mix. Besides why would God give me artistic talents if there is not some way I can use them for His glory and His will... A part of me fully wonders why I should live paycheck to paycheck and hate it when I could probably get a job somewhere closer although it would totally foul up Jake's insurance and medical but I'd save on gas and perhaps keep my sanity. I think I could feel a little more appreciated elsewhere than I do at this company. At the same time, I don't want to mess with Jake's meds. He is doing really well right now. I think we have finally found the right combination and doseage for the most part. Now I just need to find the right combination of employment that pays and provides along with use of my God given talents and creativity! So that is my quandry on a late Sunday night. I am praying for God to open the doors that need to be open and close the ones that don't. I pray for His continued provision for my and I. If God softens your heart just a little to say a little prayer for my and I, hey, I would be more than appreciative! In the meantime, it's time for me to hit my knees before I hit the sheets. Monday morning comes early and once again it will be time to Buckle up Buttercup! |
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3/2/2009 12:03 am |
Corrie; You are not alone. I could tell you all kinds of crap you heard before, like God has a purpose for you where you are, or buck up, things will improve, but I won't insult your intelligence. Especially when more often then not, I feel the same way. At times I wonder why I'm fighting to keep a job that my bosses would love to fire me from. I also do my job well, but that seems to make no difference. Their only interests most of the time seems to be that I accept their propaganda, allow them to run my life, and accept blame for their blunders. I do find it somewhat helpful knowing that ultimately I don't work for them, but I work for God, and it's just that God has placed them in their positions temporarily until the real King takes his rightful place. It is also helpful knowing that I am now engaged to marry a woman who is in college pursuing a field where she will make twice the money I do once she enters her field. If only I can hang on until that time, and our wedding, then they can fire me if they want, and I'll just go into full time ministry and\or God's service. Much more helpful is knowing that at any moment I can be raptured and all the present suffering and unfairness at my job will then be over with forever. Especially when right in the middle of the most unpleasant situations. Perhaps you'll find some comfort in the ideas I've expressed. If not, then at least be comforted knowing that I'm praying for you too. Byron Isaiah 66:2b; But to this one I will look, To him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word.
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Thanks Barb. Your prayer is most appreciated! God bless you!
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Corrie; You are not alone. I could tell you all kinds of crap you heard before, like God has a purpose for you where you are, or buck up, things will improve, but I won't insult your intelligence. Especially when more often then not, I feel the same way. At times I wonder why I'm fighting to keep a job that my bosses would love to fire me from. I also do my job well, but that seems to make no difference. Their only interests most of the time seems to be that I accept their propaganda, allow them to run my life, and accept blame for their blunders. I do find it somewhat helpful knowing that ultimately I don't work for them, but I work for God, and it's just that God has placed them in their positions temporarily until the real King takes his rightful place. It is also helpful knowing that I am now engaged to marry a woman who is in college pursuing a field where she will make twice the money I do once she enters her field. If only I can hang on until that time, and our wedding, then they can fire me if they want, and I'll just go into full time ministry and\or God's service. Much more helpful is knowing that at any moment I can be raptured and all the present suffering and unfairness at my job will then be over with forever. Especially when right in the middle of the most unpleasant situations. Perhaps you'll find some comfort in the ideas I've expressed. If not, then at least be comforted knowing that I'm praying for you too. Byron
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Saying a prayer for you and Jake! GBY-LYS! May God Bless You in ABUNDANCE
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3/2/2009 8:11 am |
 Lord, keep one hand on my shoulder and one hand over my mouth!
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Saying a prayer for you and Jake! GBY-LYS!
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What a wonderful blessing! Right now, I am just hanging tough until God opens the right door for me or I can find one I can push open somehow. Thank you for your prayers Marilyn. God bless you!
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3/3/2009 3:50 pm |
Hey Corrie, good to see ya. I'll pray too sis. Blessings to you and your son, R and T   "Love is Patient..."
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Corrie, I try to say a prayer for ya every night. I sometimes doze off in the middle of my prayers and may miss ya, but I try!  You need to check your Facebook account. You should have SEVERAL friends invitations! GBY!!  Cathy  "For He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:30
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Hey Corrie, good to see ya. I'll pray too sis. Blessings to you and your son, R and T
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Corrie, I try to say a prayer for ya every night. I sometimes doze off in the middle of my prayers and may miss ya, but I try! You need to check your Facebook account. You should have SEVERAL friends invitations! GBY!! Cathy I hope all is well in your world. God bless you!!
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We are definitely in some dark economic times but your visit to my blog certainly brings out the sunshine. God bless you.
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