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When I was a kid for a brief time in my childhood I did dream about being a philanthropist I was raised by my Mother without a father and 1 brother and a very argumentative family. I cared little about church. My mother rarely ever brought us to church and the rare few times it was to a Catholic church so that my aunt could get married there. I was called the devil because I misbehaved. I had a lot of hobbies as a kid, cards, biking, hockey, marbles, comics & I was being raised to become a military leader of an intellectual sort and would eventually join the Army and become a very dangerous person that most of my peers feared to face in a fight - I was GI JOE by nickname literally. War movies, Devil music heavy Metal and horrors were my favorite. I was proud of it then but, now I am not. I messed my life up in my early 20's, with too much partying, a vicarious lifestyle & I even dropped out of high school & got involved with bad influences and binge drinking, fighting, sleeping around and stuff. I was on the road to destruction... I was low income, working but irresponsible & my relationships didn't work out. My fault too mostly. However, thanks to a friend who gave me a Bible in a leather case, one of the rare gifts any friend ever gave me and a series of tracts that I received walking on the street I started reading them & considering the possibility of God & Christ. My family was non-practicing Catholic and I socialized with many non practicing protestants. One day I read something about the coming of Jesus and Signs and wonders and the miracles of Jesus. I tried to believe it and just couldn't think of it as much but a myth. Then one day after a bad break up with my long time girlfriend I even had arguments with my brother & best friend and it was all about my belief that the Bible may be true. I was stressed, down on my luck, disappointed and even depressed. So, I went for a walk that night and for the first time ever I actually prayed with Faith and asked God, if it was all real. Suddenly without warning a powerful wind blew on me picked me up threw me on a short parking fence and after dangling there for a minute I picked my self up, felt a presence around me and then I looked up and was horrified to see an apparition of the spirit of Death flying in the sky with the moon in it's right eye. It remained there for 10 minutes and then as I fell to my knees, it vanished. I went home, went up to my room and my Bible was on Revelations chapter 6 the four horsemen of the apocalypse, a verse that I had not previously read, the Fourth Horseman, the bringer of death. I took it as a sign, I was on that path and had to get off. 3 Months later I was getting baptized and confirmed in Washington Avenue Fellowship a non-denominational church. So, was confirmed and born again. I felt the great joy of it. I got involved in Christian charity and missions. Well first out of pure respect for what I believe was real. I believed I had to be a good example/responsible & I knew it could lead to adventure so, I signed up with a Christian mission in my local church shortly after I got baptized & completed a Bible study series. I proved my self as a volunteer and they sent me to help a Pastor plant a church in Brandon. I found many of the people I was meeting only a daily basis and bringing to Bible study were low income and unemployed & were searching for help and meaning in life. At the time though I was blinded by the churches agenda to evangelize and acquire body counts to the church for the tithe. I believed bringing people to church was helping them. Eventually I opened my eye's and saw so many people in church there who didn't even believe half the stuff they were teaching and were there just to meet people because they were needy and looking for a meal ticket. I was disappointed and all my effort were crushed and i was practically living a lie. So I returned home to my home church & started teaching Sunday School and was working in construction on the side. I started attending Seminary and after I completed my courses with the ministry I was asked to go on a mission to El Salvador to help improve church relations with some of our members here in Canada. They wanted to send me for 1 month but I started praying and asking God for adventure and an opportunity to more than this. So I found a program that gave me money to do a full year internship in any country of my choice. I applied as a missionary and had the church sign me up with the Central Missionaries in Central America got a passport and I went down as a teacher of English & Bible class. However, 2 months after living in El Salvador & teaching in the college a great hurricane hit Central America - Mitch. My prayers were answered but not the way I expected because I didn't ask for a hurricane. Our city San Salvador wasn't hit bad because of the Mountains surrounding it but, there was so much death and carnage that went from being a teacher to be a teacher & a hurricane relief worker at the same time and boy did I ever get a lot of adventure. More than I can say but we put on a telethon and even ran into local government, gangs, & military & tones of homeless people who were being exploited and we tried our best to help as many as we could. I became the leader of a Canadian initiative to help some of the El Salvadorian villages and send them food & supplies & help them re-build as much as we could. I returned home... people at the church & the ministry team were treating me like some kind of triumphant hero. I was unable to reciprocate their feelings. With a year in the third world, I had seen so much death & carnage at the hands of corrupt government & criminal org's & nature itself I was convinced God sent me there to open my ignorant eye's. I was not a hero. half the time I was afraid, sick, horrified, stupefied, astounded, escorted, protected and at the mercy of the church ministry I signed up with. My only escape was a plane ticket which was stolen and I could not leave for 8 months even if I wanted to and believe me I wanted to. So when I returned to Canada, I quit my church and the mission because they had no clue what was going on with me and and I couldn't relate to people who don't know how good they have it anymore. I was too tired & upset about it to tell them & correct them. I started working as a marketer and started doing fund raising for charities through a corporate group and I eventually helped raise funds for a variety of natural disaster and poverty relief groups & even help a few missions here in Winnipeg and started writing letters to Government too. So I was sort of thrust into this type of work by my experiences & my conscience but, I didn't regret it because it made a better person out of me. Today I avoid church and practice at home but, have many Christian friends and my own Ministry helping out people on the streets who want help. I believe Living for Jesus has to come with a conscience & responsibility or don't bother. Being in Church doesn't make me happy. Reaching out for Jesus on the street does, it makes me feel better as a person, that I am not being selfish with Gods gifts and going to church just to get blessed for myself. I am still a rebel but now I am a rebel with a heavenly cause, & the amour of light. So that's my story in short I guess. I hope it can relate to some of you! Free Speech is for everyone or no one! My Testimony - why I |
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10/19/2008 7:27 pm |
I think your experiences are great! where two or more are gathered in his name - that can be church as far as I am concerned. We need the body of Christ, and for some it is right here at BC. I think it is great that you are out helping people on the street! Praise God for you are fulfilling a need1 To God be the Glory forever and ever dan On of my best friends is named Dan and he is a Semi-truck driver also. Free Speech is for everyone or no one! My Testimony - why I
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 10/19/2008 5:50 pm |
I think your experiences are great! where two or more are gathered in his name - that can be church as far as I am concerned. We need the body of Christ, and for some it is right here at BC. I think it is great that you are out helping people on the street! Praise God for you are fulfilling a need1 To God be the Glory forever and ever dan Don't believe everything you think, God is not a cookie cutter God!
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9/8/2008 8:12 pm |
Hello, Boy did I not only understand what you are saying I am interested. I LOVE the LORD with ALL my heart. I was just speaking to a friend last night on this issue. I DO believe for some people, just attending church every Sunday is enough BUT, others want to do MORE. I BELEIVE going to church is great as a baby in Christ and I am learning lots every Sunday. I have a GREAT Sunday School class that is THERE for one another in every way, no matter our needs, whether it be prayer, financial, or just to talk. I have been searching for more though. I was born and raised in the church and left when I was about 16 years old. God always kept me in his hands and never let me go. Approximately 6 years ago I decided to pursue a TOTAL relationship with Christ and am learning lots from attending church I had forgotten BUT, when I tried to attempt to FURTHER SERVING the Lord, helping out in church in whatever capacity I felt God had gifted me in, I was SHOT DOWN because, I am a single lady....... I had never really put two and two together and realized this was actually being done until I read someone's blog on here about this issue. Single men can serve anywhere they like but, single women are OUTCASTED, unable to do anything in the church. I have always been intriqued with missions and believe I have a missions heart but, not real sure what is involved or where to start???? Because, of what happened I do NOT feel right about asking at my church since I feel I would not get correct information any way. I was told you must have a degree in some area of teaching to pursue long term missions, which I do NOT have. I am only a school bus driver who wants to serve the MY LORD and SAVIOR and feel I am being held back. Would love to communicate more with you. Praise God for people like you who are willing to give up YOUR LIFE for people you do NOT know and put your total life on hold. We ALL have our gifts and we MUST pursue them. NOT everyone has the opportunity to attend a church, so does that make them a non-christian??? I do NOT believe this. It IS about the heart and what is inside that counts and I do feel it is important too that you do still attend Bible Study. This is FELLOWSHIP and that's mostly what "church" is about anyway. Thanks for sharing your life and May God continue to Bless and Keep you throughout your SERVICE TO HIM. Tonya  Did you try volunteering for world Vision or you local Food Bank/Soup Kitchen/church mission or homeless mission. All major cities have them and they are great places to start when looking to pursue service to Gods benevolence! Free Speech is for everyone or no one! My Testimony - why I
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9/6/2008 6:47 am |
Hello, Boy did I not only understand what you are saying I am interested. I LOVE the LORD with ALL my heart. I was just speaking to a friend last night on this issue. I DO believe for some people, just attending church every Sunday is enough BUT, others want to do MORE. I BELEIVE going to church is great as a baby in Christ and I am learning lots every Sunday. I have a GREAT Sunday School class that is THERE for one another in every way, no matter our needs, whether it be prayer, financial, or just to talk. I have been searching for more though. I was born and raised in the church and left when I was about 16 years old. God always kept me in his hands and never let me go. Approximately 6 years ago I decided to pursue a TOTAL relationship with Christ and am learning lots from attending church I had forgotten BUT, when I tried to attempt to FURTHER SERVING the Lord, helping out in church in whatever capacity I felt God had gifted me in, I was SHOT DOWN because, I am a single lady....... I had never really put two and two together and realized this was actually being done until I read someone's blog on here about this issue. Single men can serve anywhere they like but, single women are OUTCASTED, unable to do anything in the church. I have always been intriqued with missions and believe I have a missions heart but, not real sure what is involved or where to start???? Because, of what happened I do NOT feel right about asking at my church since I feel I would not get correct information any way. I was told you must have a degree in some area of teaching to pursue long term missions, which I do NOT have. I am only a school bus driver who wants to serve the MY LORD and SAVIOR and feel I am being held back. Would love to communicate more with you. Praise God for people like you who are willing to give up YOUR LIFE for people you do NOT know and put your total life on hold. We ALL have our gifts and we MUST pursue them. NOT everyone has the opportunity to attend a church, so does that make them a non-christian??? I do NOT believe this. It IS about the heart and what is inside that counts and I do feel it is important too that you do still attend Bible Study. This is FELLOWSHIP and that's mostly what "church" is about anyway. Thanks for sharing your life and May God continue to Bless and Keep you throughout your SERVICE TO HIM. Tonya
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7/15/2008 8:38 pm |
Dude, I understand your point, but I respectfully disagree. Just once I would love to hear some people in here discuss going to church and instead of talking about what happened, what was good to them or bad to them...just questioning whether or not they were pleasing to God. Church is not about you. It's about joining together to worship and glorify The Lord. It's there for believers to encourage, edify and admonish each other. To love each other and support each other. One of the brothers in my spent all of last Saturday taking a woman and her 2 children around town looking for apartments because they didn't have a car and her husband just left for Iraq. And the mother does not speak great English so he made all the calls for her last week. This family started coming to the church shortly before the husband left to go to the war. What a glorious thing that they can hear the Gospel in a Bible-based church and find a family of believers who are ready to help them! I can say the same same thing about a 15 year old girl who was crying at the end of church last month and a woman came and simply consoled her. Not everyone has it down as well as you or "has learned all they need." Some of us still need to learn, grown and be comforted. And a strong, bible-based church can provide that all to the glory of The Father and His Annointed One. So who is going to provide this for new believers? Who is going to welcome seasoned believers who come from out of town and are looking for a solid church for their family yo grow with? Who's going to watch the kids, clean the floor or take out the garbage? I just don't know who people expect to do the work of The Church. I am all for open air preaching and I do it frequently. But Jesus fellowshiped with believers. The Apostles were meeting several times per week for prayer and worship, if not every day. Not to mention it's in the commandments. I am just suggesting that maybe you think of church less for what it can do for you and what YOU can do for the Church. God bless you. change the fact that my Christian walk and my Christian destiny is different than yours. As I indicate I am not outside church membership or nor am I not ordained or anointed by the HS. On the Contrary, like you I see much benevolent love and fellowship with God everyday only I see it within a broad itinerant spectrum that church goers often don't see because their only looking for God in church, excluding the ministry team which is looking to fulfill Gods purpose outward to those who enter there in. Do you think that there is no competition or politics at play in Ministry? No corruption or hypocrisies or betrayal? Is the doctrine and worship always God centered and there is never any religious pride or Vanity? If what you said is always true of every church... church is, "It's about joining together to worship and glorify The Lord. It's there for believers to encourage, edify and admonish each other. To love each other and support each other." If this were what church was about all the time then I would have no disagreement. However, church is full of humanity and therefor some ungodliness as much as there is outside those human made walls. Now, I do not discourage nor come against any teaching that states believers must fellowship and come together. However, I am against playing church in a traditional sense and have seen too much of it in every ministry I joined. I no longer join when i am disgruntled with the politics within. I avoid the politics and seek the lost for the Glory of the Lord. That is my worship to God and it is Glorious. Today, for example I spent the day time doing boring paperwork only to be called by a long time friend whom i had not seen for months. He has a problem with obesity and his internal psychological issues that bother him and wants to talk. I shared my time and experiences with him and lead him to a knowledge of the Lord. I have been having this experience weekly since I left the ministry team 5 years ago and have become a ministry to my friends and family because the time is short and I am simply being faithful with what little I have to those who come. Most who know me know I am a open door to God in the name of Jesus. If anything i said in my testimony seems to suggest that I'm disgruntled against church, know that is not the intent. I simply can not serve a greater purpose to God in the church because I am called to the lost and I no longer wish to worry about the Christian politic lurking over my shoulder. Gods over my shoulder shining the light on & through this warrior. My land is a sanctuary where the lost can know God because I take it with every foot step with God. I start every week off at a Christian fellowship Bible study & prayer at the mission where I am both a teacher and disciple of the Lord. The rest of my week except Saturdays is visiting people who are trying to come to terms with God and Jesus and their role or purpose in the world. I have a list of churches & denominations that I point them to if they want guidance beyond what I can provide. I have a home church that is always welcome to contact me and always happy to greet me should i visit I just rarely car to. I am a Gate keeper, a watchman and defender of this religion... the way in for some! The block to others. My kind is low on numbers and severely unorganized. The best of the Ministry has problems understanding this role... the role of a warrior who walks with God and suffers shame with Victory. You church people don't have to like my function but you can not do without it and the others like me and there are a fair number like me. When we are systematically exterminated from the the secular world the last 2 will prophesy doom and the end will come! Call this crazy but it is prophesied. Free Speech is for everyone or no one! My Testimony - why I
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7/14/2008 8:18 pm |
Ephesians 4-16 From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament,grows and builds itself up in love, as each part dose its work. Keep on keepin on brother. Peace to you in Jesus name, amen! All things work for the good of those who Love the Lord,  Jenn
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7/14/2008 3:54 pm |
Thanks for sharing your story - it's refreshing. The minute you said "when I returned home..........." I could identify. I had to take a long time out to rest, and found I was unable to share much of what had happened to me on mission. The problem is it changes you irrevocably and others can't identify with it because they haven't 'been there'. It was my largely non-Christian friends and family who were the ones who I found it easiest to talk to and who I learned to laugh with again. Thank God they were around. Sincere blessings, Pat. to secular people more than christians at church. They were too far gone in the Pastors sermons & their daily lives to be concerned with my issues that for sure. My family wanted to know about it and what I went through and so did people at work and non-christian friends. It was like i became a Jesus magnet. Repeling hypocrites and attracting seekers of his love. Many church people and Pastors cannot understand how important this is. Some can. Free Speech is for everyone or no one! My Testimony - why I
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7/14/2008 3:49 pm |
I feel bad for your experiences bro I don't see how this relates to not going to church. I'll never understand why someone's experience at once church or two churches or even five churches makes it somehow justified to never attend a church again. And why being a "rebel" is somehow a good thing. If only people had the same attitude about their jobs. But no, despite being mistreated or disrespected on their jobs or just flat out hating it, people still go every day. And even if they reach a point of being too angry, they find another job and don't just leave "employment" altogether. But I guess the answer is that people "need" a job, right? I know my destiny... to be a pew sitter is not it! i take church to the streets & to the poor. My experiences which lead my to quit church missions did not happen in church they happened in the mission fields. Whatever went on in church became boring & irrelevant to me and my walk. I had leaned all i needed and became a church unto myself, taking Jesus with me everywhere you go. I'm Still an important member of this body! I still do Bible studies at the missions and volunteer in my spare time. I just don't go and play church on Sundays anymore. Free Speech is for everyone or no one! My Testimony - why I
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7/14/2008 10:23 am |
Thanks for sharing your story - it's refreshing. The minute you said "when I returned home..........." I could identify. I had to take a long time out to rest, and found I was unable to share much of what had happened to me on mission. The problem is it changes you irrevocably and others can't identify with it because they haven't 'been there'. It was my largely non-Christian friends and family who were the ones who I found it easiest to talk to and who I learned to laugh with again. Thank God they were around. Sincere blessings, Pat.
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7/13/2008 6:22 pm |
Thanks for sharing your story! I, too, am a rebel of sorts and understand what you are saying! God Bless You! Free Speech is for everyone or no one! My Testimony - why I
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7/13/2008 5:27 pm |
Psa 147:1 Praise Jehovah; for it is good to sing praise to our God; because praise is delightful and becoming. Psa 147:2 Jehovah builds up Jerusalem; He gathers the outcasts of Israel. Psa 147:3 He heals the broken-hearted and binds up their sorrows. bennilee
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7/13/2008 4:30 pm |
Thanks for sharing your story! I, too, am a rebel of sorts and understand what you are saying! God Bless You!  But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: 2Cor. 4:3 KJV
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