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Urban_Hermit 70M
318 posts
8/13/2015 4:22 am

I''ll try to answer your post in a sequential way in order of your comments.

You say you have depression, you have my empathy. I understand it, I came out of a ward for severe depression last year at the end of June. Depression takes away motivation. You say it's laziness and to be sure that can be a factor for anyone, but depression can cripple most incentive to do anything beyond what's easy. It kills motivation.

You play with your cat, that gives you pleasure, that is good. Pet therapy. Listening to pastors preach, computer, playing games etc is keeping your mind active. I play music, it was my anchor, a hobby that stopped my mind going totally insane, it was also constructive in that I learned something.

Can you not fix and paint the door yourself if you are at home most of the time? Perhaps he's thinking the same and is hoping you'll get pro-active. But I'm not going to judge you on it. I'll just explain to you a 'log in my own eye' situation I have. Since April 2013 I have paperwork spread on my lounge room coffee table I've not been able to organise. It sits there, I just cant focus, I "vague out" when I look at it. I need help with this. My kids know my problem and just have left me with it, they help me with other stuff, but not this. Maybe they are waiting for me to do it, I just have not got there yet. I may do in time when I'm "stronger" and get my ability to organise this kind of stuff up and running. Some things are a long journey for me. I see this similar problem in your life coming through in your blog.

I dont always respond to posts, especially long ones. One reason I rarely read your posts is I find your posts difficult to read. Most are in hard to read fonts with fancy type and light colours. With the couple I've bothered to read lately I've had to copy and paste them into a word document, then "normalise it" so it's readable to me. I make it all the same size, turn it into black, take away all the itallics and make it Times New Roman just so as I'm able to read it. I've only bothered to do this to a couple of your posts. I rarely bother though. This post is the first of yours I've been able to read without doing that. My eyes are not the best.

You want to teach a hungry student in the ways of God. Plenty of others are interested online in doing this also, sadly plenty of false ones too. It makes us feel good about ourselves. But Mark 16:15 says, "He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation." To teach we have to make friends out there and get to a point of credibility before we can preach. St Augustine said, "Go into the world and preach the Gospel, and if necessary use words." Staying at home only adds to your depression. It's easy to stay home and preach the gospel on a computer, but that's not what the Scriputres say. It didnt work for me either, very little success. I was in major depression and realised that no one was going to come to me. I had to go into the world. I did and also started serving in my new church, when I saw an opourtunity to help someone I did. I mow a 90 year old lady's lawn, started helping another in her grief and depression by just being there after she lost her husband of 53 years, taking her to rest homes to visit 'shut ins' who can hardly get out and were also were so grateful for a visitor (some were in tears of thanks) etc. This gave me some credibility to speak to them. For me it was a slow process in the beginning, still is slow most times but it works. Faith without works is dead, works without faith is dead. How do we use our 'talent', that is the time we've been given?

This reply is relevant to your post.

To teach, passion must be driven by action with legs under it. Not just in front of a screen.

I was in a church for 15 years that had heavy bible studies every Sunday, also many full weekends and during the week studies as well. I got "Theologically Fat," was just an academic pew warmer, and needed to actually go to another church to learn to serve. I got to the point I didnt want another study, was sick of it, I just wanted to do something with people. My faith needed legs under it. Mind you I have a devotion alomst every day and a prayer list of unsaved people and needs for the saved as well.

The immoral we will always have amongst us, that lifestyle does not satisfy in the end, but what are we ourselves showing as an alternative? Are we a light? Condemning people's lifestyles on the internet does nothing to change them much as far as I can tell.

I'm not condemning you at all in this. Please dont take it that way, These comments are from what I see from your writings. Sometimes we need 'a word from outside ourselves' to receive encouragement. I've needed it many times. I believe you are a sincere Chrsitian wanting to save the lost. You are just bogged down here at this point in time until the nest phase of your life comes into play. How often do we have to wait for things we so desire? Most of our lives I guess......

In my depression part of me condemned myself for being depressed becauese I was a Christian who should have 'joy in trials' and I had no joy.This contributed to it even more ofcourse. I'd also lost my my purpose for being here, my vision. Why do we go through this stuff? Your suffering is not just so you will be a better person, patient, better character etc, they are fringe benefits. Until you've been depressed how can you get beside another with empathy when they are in depresson? Same with divorce, grief etc. Christ suffered for us and we are now comforted. He didnt deserve to suffer, neither do we most times but. we when in it or having been through it bear one another's burdens.

But God is good, you are loved. That is why I thought I'd take all this time writing a response as I see you as someone who has God on his heart, is also going through 'stuff' and longing to see some fruit.

God bless you brother in your walk.

Urban

Judgement Day will be interesting.