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 | Blogs > redbird1122 > Rebirth Of The Phoenix > Wolves in Sheep's Clothing |
Wolves in Sheep's Clothing
11/8/2006 3:01 pmLast Read: |
What is it with some of these men who come along thinking they can say all the right things for a while and coax a woman into believing that being a part of his harem is a wonderful idea? How very ignorant do they think we really are? I am so sick of people playing all these games with my life, with my heart. I know that there are good men on this web-site but they all seem to have taken a vow to remain alone the rest of their lives. I know that many who come to my blog and whose blog I visit regularly are very high dove matches for me. What is it with you guys? You all joke and carry on here on the blogs but are any of you really here to find a Godly women to share the rest of your life with? And if you are, what are you doing about it? I have been tempted many times to approach some of you but I feel so uncomfortable doing that because I wasn't raised that way. I grew up believing that it is the man's place to approach the woman. And I know that some of you have gone and looked at my profile. I am quite sure that there was something there that didn't meet your approval, probably the fact that I smoke, but if you are waiting for someone perfect then you may be waiting yourself right into the grave. I realize that there are many people here who have been hurt, believe me I know about being hurt. But what ever happened to faith? What ever happened to believing that God really does have your best in mind for you? Come on, my brothers!!! There are so many beautiful women of God here. You know they are wise in the ways of the Lord because you read their blogs and see the thoughts they have about His word. Some of you have been here for years. Do you think that God is going to drop your ideal mate into your lap? Step out in faith, step up to the plate and take a swing. For all you know she has been watching you and waiting for you to speak up. Do not leave her for the wolves in sheeps clothing that lurk in the shadows of the profiles seeking nothing more than to rend her heart to pieces. The real men are here in the blogs or in the magazine, involved in the site, showing themselves, their thoughts, their feelings to us all. Now show your thoughts and feeling to the one the Lord is showing to you. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand 
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11/8/2006 3:48 pm |
Yea, I was praying about that today actually... am i missing what God has for me, cuz the man that He has for me chooses not to risk? the Spirit can whisper to him, and bring me to mind throughout the day...but will he risk telling me that??...will he risk pursuing??...I want to know that he wants to communicate with me...to explore possibilites...take a chance?? THE SONG OF DIVINE INVITATION
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11/8/2006 4:02 pm |
GO On and just let it RIP, Sister--- and you CAN to ADD this one FOR ME in there also..... WHY don't you young men realize WE women are serious about OUR religion. Maybe 1 out of a THOUSAND might look at you if you are younger than her children, but she is looking a MATE for life also...I certainly haven't read in the Bible anywhere where a old woman like me married a guy 30 years old, and we aren't into playing house, we would like to be married to the man we share our heart and soul with.......Course this new wave of religion, they appear to think it is okay to live together. they are forgiven for \bsexo?\b outside of marriage.........I applaud your words and out right speech!!!! Do they really think we are desperate enough to want a guy who is younger than our kids! AND you rocked on the statement that we sit and have our values and self respect, and we prefer for them to contact us...Of course the ones in our age group would be wise---I already raised my son, He is 38 yrs old---not into raising another one............... Yesterday is past and gone, but tomorrow is forever.
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11/8/2006 4:19 pm |
Hi Cecilia, I hear your heart and frustration here; I can only speak for myself on this obviously. I’m real; I’m NOT playing out some alter ego like many I’ve seen here. The issue for me about this site is that I find it so hard to really get to know what a person is like. A person is much more than what they can type in a measured environment like this. I mean where one can take as much time as one what to take to respond to any given post. Real life is so different. So yes for me my past experiences have taught me that to get innovated too early can end up in pain for both. It just takes time I reckon and there will be a peace about it. Waiting is not easy for any of us. Hang in there kido and keep seeking Him.
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11/8/2006 5:02 pm |
Hi Cecilia, I hear your heart and frustration here; I can only speak for myself on this obviously. I’m real; I’m NOT playing out some alter ego like many I’ve seen here. The issue for me about this site is that I find it so hard to really get to know what a person is like. A person is much more than what they can type in a measured environment like this. I mean where one can take as much time as one what to take to respond to any given post. Real life is so different. So yes for me my past experiences have taught me that to get innovated too early can end up in pain for both. It just takes time I reckon and there will be a peace about it. Waiting is not easy for any of us. Hang in there kido and keep seeking Him. But her last paragraph is key... if something stirs in your concerning a certain lady's blog and responses...do you step up to the plate...choose to get to know her better...personal emails, chats, phone calls, then eventually meeting??? like my sista says, for all you know, she's been watching you and feels it too and is waiting... THE SONG OF DIVINE INVITATION
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11/8/2006 5:45 pm |
Yea, I was praying about that today actually... am i missing what God has for me, cuz the man that He has for me chooses not to risk? the Spirit can whisper to him, and bring me to mind throughout the day...but will he risk telling me that??...will he risk pursuing??...I want to know that he wants to communicate with me...to explore possibilites...take a chance?? Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/8/2006 5:49 pm |
Even the real ones are phony at times, sorry to say.
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11/8/2006 6:03 pm |
GO On and just let it RIP, Sister--- and you CAN to ADD this one FOR ME in there also..... WHY don't you young men realize WE women are serious about OUR religion. Maybe 1 out of a THOUSAND might look at you if you are younger than her children, but she is looking a MATE for life also...I certainly haven't read in the Bible anywhere where a old woman like me married a guy 30 years old, and we aren't into playing house, we would like to be married to the man we share our heart and soul with.......Course this new wave of religion, they appear to think it is okay to live together. they are forgiven for \bsexo?\b outside of marriage.........I applaud your words and out right speech!!!! Do they really think we are desperate enough to want a guy who is younger than our kids! AND you rocked on the statement that we sit and have our values and self respect, and we prefer for them to contact us...Of course the ones in our age group would be wise---I already raised my son, He is 38 yrs old---not into raising another one............... Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/8/2006 6:11 pm |
Your heart shines Cecilia I think at some point of what you wrote, all of us women can relate... and I do know, the genuine men who have true hearts for Christ and see Gods daughters as gifts sent from Heaven, reading your words, will be hearkened to the call of standing up to be true men of God. I am so blessed. The men who have befriended me on BC - the Lord has given to me to show me that there truly are some Godly men. Yes, I am blessed. When I first came on the blogs, it was Ken who took the stand for me, and for that I am always grateful. It only takes a small act of chivalry and genuine kindness to restore the heart of a woman. I honour now the male friends that I have met here, because like Ken, Bruce, Greg, David, they are true men of God and are honest enough to know when they have wronged one of the Almighty God's beloved daughters. This is what makes THEM stand out from the crowd and gives them integrity, in my eyes. The true men of God will seek God, and when conviction comes, they will always try to step forward and repair the breach with acts of love and kindness, they will always repent, always lifting their eyes before Jesus saying "thankyou for what you have done for me" and in that, they know what they are called to. God has recently blessed me with someone whom has done this very thing and I am so proud and honoured that he had a humble enough heart to listen to the voice of God. I know there are more men like this on BC. For the men who know deep in their hearts that they have not acted honourably toward us women... may the Lord convict you, grow you and show you how to be the men of God you were called to be. I realize that some of the men are just as us women - scared of being hurt again, and so in their own ways, stand back, not willing to give too much to one person, searching searching, afraid of making the mistakes of the past, and yet not wanting to let go of a woman that they see as the possible 'love' of their lives. To the men who have stood with integrity - the Lord is proud of you, and so too, are us sisters in Christ. God bless your heart Cecilia for posting this I really hope that the men who read this will stand up for Christ and shine for Him. I know some that do.  Oh boy,,.... should I read this back ? I feel like Ive repeated myself here over and over lol.... oh well. Forgive me for my lack of clarity, please.  ~ contending for the truth ~ ...eli...
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11/8/2006 6:19 pm |
Hi Cecilia, I hear your heart and frustration here; I can only speak for myself on this obviously. I’m real; I’m NOT playing out some alter ego like many I’ve seen here. The issue for me about this site is that I find it so hard to really get to know what a person is like. A person is much more than what they can type in a measured environment like this. I mean where one can take as much time as one what to take to respond to any given post. Real life is so different. So yes for me my past experiences have taught me that to get innovated too early can end up in pain for both. It just takes time I reckon and there will be a peace about it. Waiting is not easy for any of us. Hang in there kido and keep seeking Him. It seems to me that there is much that can be garnered from the blogs themselves about who a person truly is. But to get a personnal knowledge of someone it has to get out of the blogs and into personnal space, as Helene has stated. Into e-mails, phone calls, writing letters, chatting on the IM's. And as I stated and as CeeCee agreed with whole-heartedly, it is just not in me to make the first move although I have been awfully tempted a few times. I don't know about the other women here, but it was really very difficult for me to even join this site in the first place. I know you mean well, sweetie, but I don't need to keep seeking HIM, cause I already know HIM and I know where HE is. My problem and that of my many sisters here is him. I can't help but think that some of our him's are right here in front of our faces but shaking in their boots afraid to come out and speak up, very politely ignoring that still, small voice whispering in their spirits. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/8/2006 6:24 pm |
Even the real ones are phony at times, sorry to say. Yes, sweetie, even the real ones are phony at times. None of us are perfect, but all are being perfected. When the real ones turn phony then it is up to us, the remainder of the flock, to steer them again into the fold, with love and forgiveness. Isa 53:6 All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/8/2006 6:26 pm |
Well said sister. It seems the real men here never communicate and I find myself looking in the mirror at he end of the day wondering where I fall short. I am scared to death of getting hurt again...but then again I know that GOD will bring me the very best he has to offer and in that I am willing to step out of my fear.
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 11/8/2006 6:32 pm |
MY ADVICE TO WOMEN...DON'T GIVE YOUR HEART OUT SO EASILY!!!!!!! DON'T RUSH INTO IT... TAKE YOUR TIME TO KNOW A PERSON!!! ASK LOADS OF QUESTIONS!!!! DON'T GO FULL SpeeD!!!! TAKE IT SLOW AND LET THE LORD DIRECT YOU...IF IT NOT MEANT TO BE, HE WILL SHOW IT TO YOU...FOCUS ON YOUR FRIENDSHIP!!! MY ADVICE TO YOU MEN...PLEASE DON'T PLAY WITH THE WOMEN'S EMOTIONS!!!DON'T PLAY HEAD GAMES...BE STRAIGHTFORWARD! DON'T MAKE EXCUSES!!!HONOR YOUR WORDS!!! AS CHRISTIAN MEN, YOUR WORD IS YOUR BOND AND HONOR!!! DON'T MAKE ANY PROMISES THAT YOU CANNOT KEEP OR READY TO FOLLOW IT THROUGH!!!! DON'T LEAD HER ON...THAT'S A DEADLY THING YOU CAN DO TO A WOMAN'S HEART!!! IF YOU FEEL FOR SOMEONE, LET HER KNOW AND MOVE FORWARD...PROTECT YOUR FRIENDSHIP... NURTURE IT... MAKE TIME AND GIVE TIME...QUALITY TIME! DON'T HESITATE TO MEET HER... IF IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE, AT LEAST YOU GET A CHANCE TO SEE EACH OTHER...AND WHO KNOWS YOU COULD BE BEST FRIENDS AND PRAYER PARTNERS... I AM ADDRESSING TO ALL MEN HERE...PLEASE BE HONORABLE! TREAT EVERY WOMAN YOU MEET AS IF THEY ARE YOUR OWN SISTER...KEEP IN MIND THAT THEY ARE YOUR SISTERS IN THE LORD! Just sharing my heart... Thanks for sharing this post... Almighty Blessings, Glo Teach me your way, O LORD,and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify Your name forever. (Psalm 86:11,12)
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11/8/2006 6:35 pm |
Your heart shines Cecilia I think at some point of what you wrote, all of us women can relate... and I do know, the genuine men who have true hearts for Christ and see Gods daughters as gifts sent from Heaven, reading your words, will be hearkened to the call of standing up to be true men of God. I am so blessed. The men who have befriended me on BC - the Lord has given to me to show me that there truly are some Godly men. Yes, I am blessed. When I first came on the blogs, it was Ken who took the stand for me, and for that I am always grateful. It only takes a small act of chivalry and genuine kindness to restore the heart of a woman. I honour now the male friends that I have met here, because like Ken, Bruce, Greg, David, they are true men of God and are honest enough to know when they have wronged one of the Almighty God's beloved daughters. This is what makes THEM stand out from the crowd and gives them integrity, in my eyes. The true men of God will seek God, and when conviction comes, they will always try to step forward and repair the breach with acts of love and kindness, they will always repent, always lifting their eyes before Jesus saying "thankyou for what you have done for me" and in that, they know what they are called to. God has recently blessed me with someone whom has done this very thing and I am so proud and honoured that he had a humble enough heart to listen to the voice of God. I know there are more men like this on BC. For the men who know deep in their hearts that they have not acted honourably toward us women... may the Lord convict you, grow you and show you how to be the men of God you were called to be. I realize that some of the men are just as us women - scared of being hurt again, and so in their own ways, stand back, not willing to give too much to one person, searching searching, afraid of making the mistakes of the past, and yet not wanting to let go of a woman that they see as the possible 'love' of their lives. To the men who have stood with integrity - the Lord is proud of you, and so too, are us sisters in Christ. God bless your heart Cecilia for posting this I really hope that the men who read this will stand up for Christ and shine for Him. I know some that do. Oh boy,,.... should I read this back ? I feel like Ive repeated myself here over and over lol.... oh well. Forgive me for my lack of clarity, please. I totally understand the fear issue but I believe that one must step out in faith if they are being led in a certain direction. I also feel that there may be cases where they are confusing their own list of what they want with God's list of what He want's for them. Case in point, the many, many profiles of men in our age range and older looking for 20 and 30 year olds or for women who look like models. I know you don't have that problem cause you do look like a model but that's beside the point.  But I know that you understand what I am talking about, those who set their expectations too high, believing that they are God's expectations. It happens in many areas of the Christian life, and it is something we all have to overcome at various times in our walks. It just seems that in this particular area the struggle to keep one's own expectations intact are insurmountable for far too many. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/8/2006 6:38 pm |
Thank you for this post, Sister. I understand your frustration. Like you, I have wondered about the same thing. I have just resigned to posting in the blogs and getting to know my sisters in Christ. At least they are responsive when you send them an email--they do respond And I must say that I have met some real sisters in Christ who seem to be great ladies of virtue! Thank you for saying what most of us have only been thinking!
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11/8/2006 6:55 pm |
Ditto to Eli's comments!!! Teach me your way, O LORD,and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify Your name forever. (Psalm 86:11,12)
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11/8/2006 7:01 pm |
Well said sister. It seems the real men here never communicate and I find myself looking in the mirror at he end of the day wondering where I fall short. I am scared to death of getting hurt again...but then again I know that GOD will bring me the very best he has to offer and in that I am willing to step out of my fear. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/8/2006 7:05 pm |
MY ADVICE TO WOMEN...DON'T GIVE YOUR HEART OUT SO EASILY!!!!!!! DON'T RUSH INTO IT... TAKE YOUR TIME TO KNOW A PERSON!!! ASK LOADS OF QUESTIONS!!!! DON'T GO FULL SpeeD!!!! TAKE IT SLOW AND LET THE LORD DIRECT YOU...IF IT NOT MEANT TO BE, HE WILL SHOW IT TO YOU...FOCUS ON YOUR FRIENDSHIP!!! MY ADVICE TO YOU MEN...PLEASE DON'T PLAY WITH THE WOMEN'S EMOTIONS!!!DON'T PLAY HEAD GAMES...BE STRAIGHTFORWARD! DON'T MAKE EXCUSES!!!HONOR YOUR WORDS!!! AS CHRISTIAN MEN, YOUR WORD IS YOUR BOND AND HONOR!!! DON'T MAKE ANY PROMISES THAT YOU CANNOT KEEP OR READY TO FOLLOW IT THROUGH!!!! DON'T LEAD HER ON...THAT'S A DEADLY THING YOU CAN DO TO A WOMAN'S HEART!!! IF YOU FEEL FOR SOMEONE, LET HER KNOW AND MOVE FORWARD...PROTECT YOUR FRIENDSHIP... NURTURE IT... MAKE TIME AND GIVE TIME...QUALITY TIME! DON'T HESITATE TO MEET HER... IF IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE, AT LEAST YOU GET A CHANCE TO SEE EACH OTHER...AND WHO KNOWS YOU COULD BE BEST FRIENDS AND PRAYER PARTNERS... I AM ADDRESSING TO ALL MEN HERE...PLEASE BE HONORABLE! TREAT EVERY WOMAN YOU MEET AS IF THEY ARE YOUR OWN SISTER...KEEP IN MIND THAT THEY ARE YOUR SISTERS IN THE LORD! Just sharing my heart... Thanks for sharing this post... Almighty Blessings, Glo Those who do get in touch show themselves for what they truly are very quickly. Those who are Godly seem to be making no contact at all. That is the real problem Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/8/2006 7:07 pm |
Thank you for this post, Sister. I understand your frustration. Like you, I have wondered about the same thing. I have just resigned to posting in the blogs and getting to know my sisters in Christ. At least they are responsive when you send them an email--they do respond And I must say that I have met some real sisters in Christ who seem to be great ladies of virtue! Thank you for saying what most of us have only been thinking!Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/8/2006 7:13 pm |
Sis, There are so many Godly men here, I agree. I just question if they are all listening to God's voice when it comes to guiding them to His choice for their perfect mate. I totally understand the fear issue but I believe that one must step out in faith if they are being led in a certain direction. I also feel that there may be cases where they are confusing their own list of what they want with God's list of what He want's for them. Case in point, the many, many profiles of men in our age range and older looking for 20 and 30 year olds or for women who look like models. I know you don't have that problem cause you do look like a model but that's beside the point. But I know that you understand what I am talking about, those who set their expectations too high, believing that they are God's expectations. It happens in many areas of the Christian life, and it is something we all have to overcome at various times in our walks. It just seems that in this particular area the struggle to keep one's own expectations intact are insurmountable for far too many. ~ contending for the truth ~ ...eli...
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11/8/2006 7:52 pm |
Thanx Cecilia - thanx for speaking our heart for us - and the others - Eli and Glo and Hellen and Roberta and CeeCee. Wow - all of you all are awesome! How can we NOT praise Him - Marilyn
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11/8/2006 8:37 pm |
Thanx Cecilia - thanx for speaking our heart for us - and the others - Eli and Glo and Hellen and Roberta and CeeCee. Wow - all of you all are awesome! Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/9/2006 12:03 am |
Thanx Cecilia - thanx for speaking our heart for us - and the others - Eli and Glo and Hellen and Roberta and CeeCee. Wow - all of you all are awesome! Hugs, Sue
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11/9/2006 10:55 am |
OUCH!.... that smarts.. lol .. you know the same thing can be said by us guys... sure there might be some ladies that would be interested in me here in the blogs, but most of them live hundreds, some thousands of miles away... lets be honest thats not really piratical, especially with someone that has young kids... .. I have tried to email with a few ladies in my area, and I get a lot of the same that you have spoke of here... I wonder if women (and men) feel that space is safe.. the further they live away the more they open up (get comfortable).. I believe like what Bruce said, it takes time to really know someone for a relationship to develop, its more than phone conversations and emails.. .. and remember MOST of us have been though crap, and are shy to jump in again.. it seems to me that women are more adapt to get over a bad relationship quicker than men.. not sure why?... maybe its just the way God made us!... .. I do want to say this in response to this post!...if there are any ladies here that feel that I ever have been playing games with there head... I AM SORRY, AND I NEVER MEANT TO DO THAT... I love and respect most of the ladies here that I have meant and I would NEVER want to cause any harm or hurt to any of you... Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/9/2006 2:11 pm |
Thank you, sis, for your support and understanding. Your wisdom amazes me time and time again. Yes, thankyou for speaking out. Your words needed to be said, I my prayer is that men will read this and it will touch their hearts.... that women will read this and know that God favours His princesses and does not like it when His sons hurt His daughters hearts and cause them to stumble. You wrote : " also feel that there may be cases where they are confusing their own list of what they want with God's list of what He want's for them. Case in point, the many, many profiles of men in our age range and older looking for 20 and 30 year olds or for women who look like models. I know you don't have that problem cause you do look like a model but that's beside the point. " Cecilia... again, what you write speaks of raw truth. And trust me, I dont look like a model in real life,. im just photogenic and have a good graphics program. That is not the point. I see differently. I have seen 'model' men in love with women that were not so physically attractive.... and I have watched. I believe that deep down when the rubber meets the road, men tire of looks very easily and quickly... we all know, its whats in the heart that counts. Any one of us could lose our 'looks' tomorrow and then, what are we left with. Fernando was a very attractive man once - and cancer took hold and wittled away his body... he was not 'attractive' and in his last months, I could pick him up like a little boy and carry him. But - to me, he was the most beautiful man God ever put on the face of this earth. I just looked in his eyes, to see that. I could be maimed and have any 'beauty' I possess taken away from me in an instant. Then, what am I left with ? WHO I AM. IN HIM. THATS ALL ANY OF US HAVE ITS TIME WE ALL RECOGNIZED THAT AND EMBRACED THE BEAUTY THAT LIVES WITHIN US, ONE FOR ANOTHER.... WE WERE CREATED IN HIS IMAGE. If men are deceived into wanting a woman for her looks or age, then God needs to do a huge work in their hearts. I thank God for the men who realize and know in their spirits the truths of what you have written Cecilia ~ contending for the truth ~ ...eli...
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11/9/2006 2:18 pm |
OUCH!.... that smarts.. lol .. you know the same thing can be said by us guys... sure there might be some ladies that would be interested in me here in the blogs, but most of them live hundreds, some thousands of miles away... lets be honest thats not really piratical, especially with someone that has young kids... .. I have tried to email with a few ladies in my area, and I get a lot of the same that you have spoke of here... I wonder if women (and men) feel that space is safe.. the further they live away the more they open up (get comfortable).. I believe like what Bruce said, it takes time to really know someone for a relationship to develop, its more than phone conversations and emails.. .. and remember MOST of us have been though crap, and are shy to jump in again.. it seems to me that women are more adapt to get over a bad relationship quicker than men.. not sure why?... maybe its just the way God made us!... .. I do want to say this in response to this post!...if there are any ladies here that feel that I ever have been playing games with there head... I AM SORRY, AND I NEVER MEANT TO DO THAT... I love and respect most of the ladies here that I have meant and I would NEVER want to cause any harm or hurt to any of you... but there is one thing that perhaps you should consider..... (????? uh oh ) When God puts a man and woman together, you can either go with the flow and stand in faith, or, stomp your feet and say "no God, she is too far away, her kids are too young, I dont want to move, etc etc etc "...... if its in Gods plan, HE will work it out just a thought..... oh dear, now Ive done it, havent I ..... (eli gets out fire extinguisher lol..... and runnnsss >>>>>> )  ~ contending for the truth ~ ...eli...
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11/9/2006 2:47 pm |
I appreciate what you are saying Rod.... but there is one thing that perhaps you should consider..... (????? uh oh ) When God puts a man and woman together, you can either go with the flow and stand in faith, or, stomp your feet and say "no God, she is too far away, her kids are too young, I dont want to move, etc etc etc "...... if its in Gods plan, HE will work it out just a thought..... oh dear, now Ive done it, havent I ..... (eli gets out fire extinguisher lol..... and runnnsss >>>>>> ) ..I agree with what you said Eli!.. so when are you and the kids moving to Michigan... lol (Rod runnnsss and hides..... lol) Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/9/2006 3:20 pm |
You better runnnsss girl... lol ..I agree with what you said Eli!.. so when are you and the kids moving to Michigan... lol (Rod runnnsss and hides..... lol) wellllll...... I MIGHT be moving to the good ol USA.... 'one day' if it be Gods will but I cant find Michigan on the map... I see Texas though !!!  Hey Rod, I know some beautiful women in Aussieland that would love your presence here ~ contending for the truth ~ ...eli...
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11/9/2006 4:48 pm |
Ditto that for me as well!! Hugs, Sue Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/9/2006 5:09 pm |
OUCH!.... that smarts.. lol .. you know the same thing can be said by us guys... sure there might be some ladies that would be interested in me here in the blogs, but most of them live hundreds, some thousands of miles away... lets be honest thats not really piratical, especially with someone that has young kids... .. I have tried to email with a few ladies in my area, and I get a lot of the same that you have spoke of here... I wonder if women (and men) feel that space is safe.. the further they live away the more they open up (get comfortable).. I believe like what Bruce said, it takes time to really know someone for a relationship to develop, its more than phone conversations and emails.. .. and remember MOST of us have been though crap, and are shy to jump in again.. it seems to me that women are more adapt to get over a bad relationship quicker than men.. not sure why?... maybe its just the way God made us!... .. I do want to say this in response to this post!...if there are any ladies here that feel that I ever have been playing games with there head... I AM SORRY, AND I NEVER MEANT TO DO THAT... I love and respect most of the ladies here that I have meant and I would NEVER want to cause any harm or hurt to any of you... It all just got me to thinking about how little I ever hear about the good guys here making any moves for the good gals here. And yes, I realize that there is a locale problem but if God is in it then there is no problem, right? I mean, if He is telling you that a particular woman is the one He has chosen for you, why are you looking at the distance between the two of you? Isn't He big enough to take care of that? This is part of my whole point. It shouldn't matter if she is half way around the world, if God is pointing her out to you, step out in faith and approach her, brother. He will take care of the details. We sure do love you here, Rod, as we love all our brothers. And we realize that you guys have been hurt just like we have. And yes, many of us, too many I believe, are using this space thing as an excuse not to move forward. Anyone who has ever studied psychology at all will recognize this trait as a safety mechinism to keep from making further commitments. My personal motto is: Ruth 1:16-17 And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me. May sound funny coming from a divocee but I didn't want a divorce, ever, but I really didn't have much choice in the matter. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/9/2006 5:29 pm |
I am constantly 'gob smacked' when see your posts Cecilia. Your wisdom amazes me time and time again. Yes, thankyou for speaking out. Your words needed to be said, I my prayer is that men will read this and it will touch their hearts.... that women will read this and know that God favours His princesses and does not like it when His sons hurt His daughters hearts and cause them to stumble. You wrote : " also feel that there may be cases where they are confusing their own list of what they want with God's list of what He want's for them. Case in point, the many, many profiles of men in our age range and older looking for 20 and 30 year olds or for women who look like models. I know you don't have that problem cause you do look like a model but that's beside the point. " Cecilia... again, what you write speaks of raw truth. And trust me, I dont look like a model in real life,. im just photogenic and have a good graphics program. That is not the point. I see differently. I have seen 'model' men in love with women that were not so physically attractive.... and I have watched. I believe that deep down when the rubber meets the road, men tire of looks very easily and quickly... we all know, its whats in the heart that counts. Any one of us could lose our 'looks' tomorrow and then, what are we left with. Fernando was a very attractive man once - and cancer took hold and wittled away his body... he was not 'attractive' and in his last months, I could pick him up like a little boy and carry him. But - to me, he was the most beautiful man God ever put on the face of this earth. I just looked in his eyes, to see that. I could be maimed and have any 'beauty' I possess taken away from me in an instant. Then, what am I left with ? WHO I AM. IN HIM. THATS ALL ANY OF US HAVE ITS TIME WE ALL RECOGNIZED THAT AND EMBRACED THE BEAUTY THAT LIVES WITHIN US, ONE FOR ANOTHER.... WE WERE CREATED IN HIS IMAGE. If men are deceived into wanting a woman for her looks or age, then God needs to do a huge work in their hearts. I thank God for the men who realize and know in their spirits the truths of what you have written Cecilia I have seen pictures of what men think our Jesus looked like all my life, and almost always they depict a handsome man. But the Bible tells us that He would not have physical beauty. But like Him it is the beauty of the Spirit that we should strive for and that we should seek out in others. Isaiah 53:1-3 Who hath believed our report? and to whom is the arm of the LORD revealed? For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him. He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/9/2006 8:05 pm |
lol...... wellllll...... I MIGHT be moving to the good ol USA.... 'one day' if it be Gods will but I cant find Michigan on the map... I see Texas though !!! Hey Rod, I know some beautiful women in Aussieland that would love your presence here Michigan is where all the REAL men live... lol .. remember in Michigan we have all four seasons, and sometimes in the same day.. lol Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/9/2006 8:17 pm |
I appreciate what you are saying Rod.... but there is one thing that perhaps you should consider..... (????? uh oh ) When God puts a man and woman together, you can either go with the flow and stand in faith, or, stomp your feet and say "no God, she is too far away, her kids are too young, I dont want to move, etc etc etc "...... if its in Gods plan, HE will work it out just a thought..... oh dear, now Ive done it, havent I ..... (eli gets out fire extinguisher lol..... and runnnsss >>>>>> ) 'mail order' brides are not a new thing...at least with email we don't have to wait so long for responses. THE SONG OF DIVINE INVITATION
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11/9/2006 8:20 pm |
OUCH!.... that smarts.. lol .. you know the same thing can be said by us guys... sure there might be some ladies that would be interested in me here in the blogs, but most of them live hundreds, some thousands of miles away... lets be honest thats not really piratical, especially with someone that has young kids... .. I have tried to email with a few ladies in my area, and I get a lot of the same that you have spoke of here... I wonder if women (and men) feel that space is safe.. the further they live away the more they open up (get comfortable).. I believe like what Bruce said, it takes time to really know someone for a relationship to develop, its more than phone conversations and emails.. .. and remember MOST of us have been though crap, and are shy to jump in again.. it seems to me that women are more adapt to get over a bad relationship quicker than men.. not sure why?... maybe its just the way God made us!... .. I do want to say this in response to this post!...if there are any ladies here that feel that I ever have been playing games with there head... I AM SORRY, AND I NEVER MEANT TO DO THAT... I love and respect most of the ladies here that I have meant and I would NEVER want to cause any harm or hurt to any of you... with bizarre humour at times  ...but a gentleman. It is easier to open up long distance and in the medium... but that isn't neccessarily bad...so, if that woman thousands of miles away with young kids moves your heart...seek God's face...ya never know.  THE SONG OF DIVINE INVITATION
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11/9/2006 8:23 pm |
Rod, you goober, I thought I made it pretty plain that it wasn't any of my brother's here in the blogs or in the magazine but one of the bazillions of guys who come and just put up a profile and that's it. I can't say that I wasn't partially to blame myself. It all just got me to thinking about how little I ever hear about the good guys here making any moves for the good gals here. And yes, I realize that there is a locale problem but if God is in it then there is no problem, right? I mean, if He is telling you that a particular woman is the one He has chosen for you, why are you looking at the distance between the two of you? Isn't He big enough to take care of that? This is part of my whole point. It shouldn't matter if she is half way around the world, if God is pointing her out to you, step out in faith and approach her, brother. He will take care of the details. We sure do love you here, Rod, as we love all our brothers. And we realize that you guys have been hurt just like we have. And yes, many of us, too many I believe, are using this space thing as an excuse not to move forward. Anyone who has ever studied psychology at all will recognize this trait as a safety mechinism to keep from making further commitments. My personal motto is: Ruth 1:16-17 And Ruth said, Intreat me not to leave thee, or to return from following after thee: for whither thou goest, I will go; and where thou lodgest, I will lodge: thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God: Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried: the LORD do so to me, and more also, if ought but death part thee and me. May sound funny coming from a divocee but I didn't want a divorce, ever, but I really didn't have much choice in the matter. .. I would have to believe that the only way we could ever really know who THE ONE is, that after a lifetime of being together they are still there with you on your death bed!... I know I sound pretty bad, but I guess I don't feel that you can just have faith that a relationship would always stay the same!.. I'd better stop now before you all think I'm way too cynical.. lol Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/9/2006 9:14 pm |
TEXAS!.. girl why would anyone want to live in Texas?.. Texas is HOT, and there are only queers and steers in that god forsaken land.. lol Michigan is where all the REAL men live... lol .. remember in Michigan we have all four seasons, and sometimes in the same day.. lol Exactly which of those two catagories do you put this Texas gal into??????? Queers or steers????? You done opened your mouth and stuck your foot into it real good!!!!!! Maybe both of them!!!!!! You best be doin' some mighty fast talkin' brother!!!!! Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/9/2006 9:20 pm |
TEXAS!.. girl why would anyone want to live in Texas?.. Texas is HOT, and there are only queers and steers in that god forsaken land.. lol Michigan is where all the REAL men live... lol .. remember in Michigan we have all four seasons, and sometimes in the same day.. lol Stop to think about it, we all know I ain't no queer so that only leaves the steer and that is a castrated male cow which I ain't either, so what exactly do you refer to we Texas women as . . . COWS?????????? Lucy, you got some splainin' to do!!!!!! Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/10/2006 12:46 am |
IT IS SO TRUE THAT THE REAL MEN SEEM AFRAID TO LET THEMSELVES BE KNOWN.I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT YOUNGER MEN. I AM NOT SAYING ONE THE SAME AGE AS MY SONS BUT ONE THAT IS 10 OR SO YEARS YOUNGER I THINK I WOULD BE ALRIGHT WITH..THIS INTERNET DATING IS ALL NEW TO ME. I DIDN'T THINK THAT YOU COULD HAVE FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE YOU JUST TALK TO ON THE INTERNET AND PHONE BUT I WAS WRONG. YOU CAN DEVELOPE A STRONG BOND.WORDS ARE POWERFUL. I WOULD LIKE TO SEE A REAL PICTURE. BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT THEMSELVES.. I WAS TRUTHFUL ABOUT MYSELF AND THE PICTURE IS ME NOW....ALL ME! WHY LIE....I CAME ON HERE TO MEET SOMEONE...I DON'T GO ANYWHERE ELSE TO MEET MEN. I REALLY AM HOPING TO FIND THE RIGHT MAN THAT GOD HAS FOR ME. I UNDERSTAND THAT MEN HAVE THE SAME FEARS THAT WOMEN DO...SO NOW THAT WE HAVE IT IN THE OPEN.. HUGS PAT
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11/10/2006 1:00 am |
I am constantly 'gob smacked' when see your posts Cecilia. Your wisdom amazes me time and time again. Yes, thankyou for speaking out. Your words needed to be said, I my prayer is that men will read this and it will touch their hearts.... that women will read this and know that God favours His princesses and does not like it when His sons hurt His daughters hearts and cause them to stumble. You wrote : " also feel that there may be cases where they are confusing their own list of what they want with God's list of what He want's for them. Case in point, the many, many profiles of men in our age range and older looking for 20 and 30 year olds or for women who look like models. I know you don't have that problem cause you do look like a model but that's beside the point. " Cecilia... again, what you write speaks of raw truth. And trust me, I dont look like a model in real life,. im just photogenic and have a good graphics program. That is not the point. I see differently. I have seen 'model' men in love with women that were not so physically attractive.... and I have watched. I believe that deep down when the rubber meets the road, men tire of looks very easily and quickly... we all know, its whats in the heart that counts. Any one of us could lose our 'looks' tomorrow and then, what are we left with. Fernando was a very attractive man once - and cancer took hold and wittled away his body... he was not 'attractive' and in his last months, I could pick him up like a little boy and carry him. But - to me, he was the most beautiful man God ever put on the face of this earth. I just looked in his eyes, to see that. I could be maimed and have any 'beauty' I possess taken away from me in an instant. Then, what am I left with ? WHO I AM. IN HIM. THATS ALL ANY OF US HAVE ITS TIME WE ALL RECOGNIZED THAT AND EMBRACED THE BEAUTY THAT LIVES WITHIN US, ONE FOR ANOTHER.... WE WERE CREATED IN HIS IMAGE. If men are deceived into wanting a woman for her looks or age, then God needs to do a huge work in their hearts. I thank God for the men who realize and know in their spirits the truths of what you have written Cecilia ALSO TODAY YOUNGER MEN WANT MORE MATURE WOMEN BECAUSE THEY THINK YOUNGER WOMEN ARE SHALLOW AND VERY MATERIALISTIC...THIS ISN'T ME SAYING. I AM ONLY REPEATING WHAT I WAS TOLD BY A YOUNGER MAN. MEN OUR AGE IS REALLY MISSING OUT.. HAVE YOU HEARD THE SAYING " I OVER LOOKED AN ORCHID WHILE LOOKING FOR A ROSE" PS....fyi all the young women that i have met on this site are very mature god filled women!!!love you all. GOD BLESS YOU PAT
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11/10/2006 1:02 am |
MICHIGAN IS BEAUITFUL I WILL AGREE HUGS...PAT
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11/10/2006 2:32 am |
I have to totally agree with Eli here...she is SPOT ON.....(is that an aussie saying? I know that they say that in the UK)..... I really need to print out the word lists that Bruce spent all that time on so I can figgure out those words.....I can do it... I know that I can.... That way, I can communicacate better with my aussie friends here....
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11/10/2006 4:08 am |
Exactly which of those two catagories do you put this Texas gal into??????? Queers or steers????? You done opened your mouth and stuck your foot into it real good!!!!!! Maybe both of them!!!!!! You best be doin' some mighty fast talkin' brother!!!!! Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/10/2006 4:28 am |
You know what, Rod, you've always been a gentleman... with bizarre humour at times ...but a gentleman. It is easier to open up long distance and in the medium... but that isn't neccessarily bad...so, if that woman thousands of miles away with young kids moves your heart...seek God's face...ya never know. .. you don't mean my spidy suit do ya?... lol .. you see Ewesome.. if she has young kids and I have young kids..their only choice would be for one of them to give up their kids, because you can't take the kids away from their other family.. and well... thats not a choice that I would not make, or ask someone else to!... Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/10/2006 4:50 am |
YOU ARE SO WISE YOU SAID IT PERFECT. MOST MEN, SORRY TO SAY, WANT THE PERFECT FIGURE AND YOUTH AND THAT IS SO SAD..THEY ARE WILLING TO PAY THE PRICE FOR IT.....DID YOU NOTICE THAT WOMEN ARE MORE WILLING TO LOOK PAST THE ILLNESS AND LOOKS AND LOVE ANYWAY. ALSO TODAY YOUNGER MEN WANT MORE MATURE WOMEN BECAUSE THEY THINK YOUNGER WOMEN ARE SHALLOW AND VERY MATERIALISTIC...THIS ISN'T ME SAYING. I AM ONLY REPEATING WHAT I WAS TOLD BY A YOUNGER MAN. MEN OUR AGE IS REALLY MISSING OUT.. HAVE YOU HEARD THE SAYING " I OVER LOOKED AN ORCHID WHILE LOOKING FOR A ROSE" PS....fyi all the young women that i have met on this site are very mature god filled women!!!love you all. GOD BLESS YOU PAT .. I disagree women are just as hung-up on looks as men!.. just my opinion... Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/10/2006 6:40 am |
"with bizarre humour at times " .. you don't mean my spidy suit do ya?... lol .. you see Ewesome.. if she has young kids and I have young kids..their only choice would be for one of them to give up their kids, because you can't take the kids away from their other family.. and well... thats not a choice that I would not make, or ask someone else to!... you know i love it! and i miss that there is not as much of it with you here less...and kristina AWOL. i can respect that you would not want to uproot children...i suppose i don't think that way cuz i was moved around alot throughout my growing up years. (and look what happened to me )but the point remains that even if a person lives a distance away, one can choose to pursue and see where God leads. and as someone earlier pointed out, we can use alot of excuses (and convince ourselves that they are not excuses) to avoid risking something. i've been the queen of that in the past and i don't want to do that anymore. p.s. i respect the fact that you are choosing to pursue this here...it appears the other men have fled. THE SONG OF DIVINE INVITATION
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11/10/2006 1:17 pm |
IT IS SO TRUE THAT THE REAL MEN SEEM AFRAID TO LET THEMSELVES BE KNOWN.I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND ABOUT YOUNGER MEN. I AM NOT SAYING ONE THE SAME AGE AS MY SONS BUT ONE THAT IS 10 OR SO YEARS YOUNGER I THINK I WOULD BE ALRIGHT WITH..THIS INTERNET DATING IS ALL NEW TO ME. I DIDN'T THINK THAT YOU COULD HAVE FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE YOU JUST TALK TO ON THE INTERNET AND PHONE BUT I WAS WRONG. YOU CAN DEVELOPE A STRONG BOND.WORDS ARE POWERFUL. I WOULD LIKE TO SEE A REAL PICTURE. BE TRUTHFUL ABOUT THEMSELVES.. I WAS TRUTHFUL ABOUT MYSELF AND THE PICTURE IS ME NOW....ALL ME! WHY LIE....I CAME ON HERE TO MEET SOMEONE...I DON'T GO ANYWHERE ELSE TO MEET MEN. I REALLY AM HOPING TO FIND THE RIGHT MAN THAT GOD HAS FOR ME. I UNDERSTAND THAT MEN HAVE THE SAME FEARS THAT WOMEN DO...SO NOW THAT WE HAVE IT IN THE OPEN.. HUGS PAT My own son will be 31 next month and my daughter is 29 so I wouldn't even consider someone under, say 40, and that is cutting it pretty close. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/10/2006 1:37 pm |
"with bizarre humour at times " .. you don't mean my spidy suit do ya?... lol .. you see Ewesome.. if she has young kids and I have young kids..their only choice would be for one of them to give up their kids, because you can't take the kids away from their other family.. and well... thats not a choice that I would not make, or ask someone else to!... Perhaps, as I said earlier, you are only looking at other parents because that is what is on your list, but that may not be what is on God's list for you. These women would be wonderful mother's to your boy's just because they are daughter's of the Lord, some of them are already experienced at being mother's and miss the joy that they had of having children around, some have been denied the experience for themselves and would love the opportunity, some are capable of becoming mothers and are just waiting for a Godly man to come along to share the experience with but would welcome the chance to mother your boys in the meantime. Also, don't presume that a woman with children is necessarily in a good place and that her children are with loving family. That by coming to join you she would be taking her children away from their other family. It is quite possible that she and her children are already separated from family, struggling to make it on their own with no real support system available. There are far too many dysfunctional families in this world today. Even if these children are around their other family doesn't necessarily mean that it is a safe, loving environment for them for them to be in. Perhaps this loving mother is seeking to find someone, somewhere that will be better for both she and her children. Don't limit yourself, because with God there is nothing that is impossible, brother. There are other options available, explore them with an open mind and spirit, listening closely for that still small voice of God to speak to you. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/10/2006 1:40 pm |
you really want me to list all the places where you've displayed 'off the wall' bizarre humour??? you know i love it! and i miss that there is not as much of it with you here less...and kristina AWOL. i can respect that you would not want to uproot children...i suppose i don't think that way cuz i was moved around alot throughout my growing up years. (and look what happened to me )but the point remains that even if a person lives a distance away, one can choose to pursue and see where God leads. and as someone earlier pointed out, we can use alot of excuses (and convince ourselves that they are not excuses) to avoid risking something. i've been the queen of that in the past and i don't want to do that anymore. p.s. i respect the fact that you are choosing to pursue this here...it appears the other men have fled. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/10/2006 4:11 pm |
Yes, I guess all I really have to say about this issue (speaking from my heart on this) is that anyone here, needs to be careful about leading others on...if you aren't interested in them, even as a good friend, don't tell them they are a good friend, don't make promises to them, don't send them valentines and flowers, don't do anything like that...no honeymoon brochures, either.....none of that. Don't call them for hours and hours at a time........don't do that and then turn around and say that they misconstrued your intentions.....THIS IS A SERIOUS issue in my opinion. GBY.
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11/10/2006 4:50 pm |
Yes, I guess all I really have to say about this issue (speaking from my heart on this) is that anyone here, needs to be careful about leading others on...if you aren't interested in them, even as a good friend, don't tell them they are a good friend, don't make promises to them, don't send them valentines and flowers, don't do anything like that...no honeymoon brochures, either.....none of that. Don't call them for hours and hours at a time........don't do that and then turn around and say that they misconstrued your intentions.....THIS IS A SERIOUS issue in my opinion. GBY. As I have stated previously, there have been some of my brothers that I have an attraction to, but I do not feel that it is proper for me to approach them. I believe that it is the man's place to approach the woman. My intentions in writing this post really wasn't fully because of my own experience concerning this issue in the first place. I still have mixed feelings about the person that I met who is not even a blogger, right now, he's not really involved in the site except as a member at all. But I just felt aggrevated by my circumstances in the past as well as some things I had read by some of the other women bloggers recently and decided to say something about this subject hoping to perhaps bring some of these fears out into the open for discussion and prayer. Thank you for joining us and for you advice. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/10/2006 5:16 pm |
Your heart shines Cecilia I think at some point of what you wrote, all of us women can relate... and I do know, the genuine men who have true hearts for Christ and see Gods daughters as gifts sent from Heaven, reading your words, will be hearkened to the call of standing up to be true men of God. I am so blessed. The men who have befriended me on BC - the Lord has given to me to show me that there truly are some Godly men. Yes, I am blessed. When I first came on the blogs, it was Ken who took the stand for me, and for that I am always grateful. It only takes a small act of chivalry and genuine kindness to restore the heart of a woman. I honour now the male friends that I have met here, because like Ken, Bruce, Greg, David, they are true men of God and are honest enough to know when they have wronged one of the Almighty God's beloved daughters. This is what makes THEM stand out from the crowd and gives them integrity, in my eyes. The true men of God will seek God, and when conviction comes, they will always try to step forward and repair the breach with acts of love and kindness, they will always repent, always lifting their eyes before Jesus saying "thankyou for what you have done for me" and in that, they know what they are called to. God has recently blessed me with someone whom has done this very thing and I am so proud and honoured that he had a humble enough heart to listen to the voice of God. I know there are more men like this on BC. For the men who know deep in their hearts that they have not acted honourably toward us women... may the Lord convict you, grow you and show you how to be the men of God you were called to be. I realize that some of the men are just as us women - scared of being hurt again, and so in their own ways, stand back, not willing to give too much to one person, searching searching, afraid of making the mistakes of the past, and yet not wanting to let go of a woman that they see as the possible 'love' of their lives. To the men who have stood with integrity - the Lord is proud of you, and so too, are us sisters in Christ. God bless your heart Cecilia for posting this I really hope that the men who read this will stand up for Christ and shine for Him. I know some that do. Oh boy,,.... should I read this back ? I feel like Ive repeated myself here over and over lol.... oh well. Forgive me for my lack of clarity, please. I never want to hear another word about your blond brain cells you possess perception and wisdom to depths that touch both genders and I for one am truly grateful to know you.Blessings always.
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11/10/2006 5:33 pm |
Hi Cecilia interesting blog....I have found there are a lot of genuine hearts here,both male and female and it seems they are all battle scared and hesitant in stepping into the romantic circle again...Namely to share a HEART,LOVE,HOME,BED,DREAMS,FUTURE,FAMILY with.The road is long and yet IT CAN BE A LONG AND WINDING ROAD,WE all have needs WE wouldn't be human if "WE' didn't and sometimes WE long for those needs so "WE" make the WRONG decision....After many years of heart aches and tears,through being "IMPATIENT" and not waiting on "GODS PLAN",I think "ALL GOD'S (good) THINGS COME TO THOSE THAT WAIT"...as frustrating as that seems at times.....I also think there is no harm in being upfront and asking to meet a fellow Christian/Human,it doesn't mean you are of loose morals,WE must all begin a FRIENDSHIP somewhere??????? No-one is a mind reader and actions speak louder than words sometimes.....It isn't unladylike to iniciate the first move....Today it is different,men will still respect you,sometimes they are too shy and battle scared,think they are unworthy of your attention for fear of being hurt just as we women are...They do have the same feelings and needs and yes LOVE HURTS SOMETIMES....Lessons in life I say......Men and Women have hearts and feelings,many men crave the love we seek.....And not all men want to get in ya pants or women get in ya wallet there are many who can RESPECT you for who you are,a beautiful woman/beautiful man-...it's funny cos most women have the fear of being sexually mistreated and men fear being financely mistreated. FEAR is is the devils curse,it holds us back from experiencing GODS TRUE BLESSINGS.........LOVE .... IT'S BETTER FOR YOUR HEART TO MAKE A MISTAKE THAN TO LIVE LIFE WITHOUT A HEART........ I have found these days if there is a love interest placed upon my path and it ISN'T GOD'S PLAN, they are removed...Yes it is a hard pill to swallow but I am learning more and more to TRUST GOD and HIS PLAN,then the heart doesn't feel as heavy or the pain....Prayer it works,people come onto our paths for a reason and sometimes it is only a season so make the most of the seasons as they come and go..Lessons and Growth periods in Your life.....It is while God has you there without you hearts desire,you begin to learn more about the real you,who you are,the past mistakes or lessons, LOVE IS BLIND and sometimes WE DON"T SEE IT CLEARLY......Trust in GOD.... HE KNOWS WHO"S COMING YOUR WAY,the TIME,PLACE and WHO WILL SWEEP YOU OFF YA FEET,MELT YOUR HEART,BRING YOU JOY,PEACE and CONTENTMENT.....walk HIS walk and you WILL LOVE AGAIN ALL GOOD (GOD) THINGS COME TO THOSE THAT WAIT......sometimes it is better to have lost in love than to have never loved at all Cheers and Gods LOVE and GUIDANCE  Chris xoGod's Angel  The truth,The Light,The Way THE LORD PRESERVES ALL WHO LOVE HIM........psalm145-20........
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11/10/2006 5:51 pm |
OUCH!.... that smarts.. lol .. you know the same thing can be said by us guys... sure there might be some ladies that would be interested in me here in the blogs, but most of them live hundreds, some thousands of miles away... lets be honest thats not really piratical, especially with someone that has young kids... .. I have tried to email with a few ladies in my area, and I get a lot of the same that you have spoke of here... I wonder if women (and men) feel that space is safe.. the further they live away the more they open up (get comfortable).. I believe like what Bruce said, it takes time to really know someone for a relationship to develop, its more than phone conversations and emails.. .. and remember MOST of us have been though crap, and are shy to jump in again.. it seems to me that women are more adapt to get over a bad relationship quicker than men.. not sure why?... maybe its just the way God made us!... .. I do want to say this in response to this post!...if there are any ladies here that feel that I ever have been playing games with there head... I AM SORRY, AND I NEVER MEANT TO DO THAT... I love and respect most of the ladies here that I have meant and I would NEVER want to cause any harm or hurt to any of you... But far dinkum I’ve thought of giving this whole thing the flick on a few occasions now and may still do so. Why can’t people just be real?????????????????
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11/10/2006 6:12 pm |
I hear ya Sis.. that word faith is a really big word!... I mean how would you know who is THE ONE.. to be honest with ya I thought that I had already found THE ONE!.. but after 2 kids and 19 years of marriage she didn't feel that I was THE ONE... .. I would have to believe that the only way we could ever really know who THE ONE is, that after a lifetime of being together they are still there with you on your death bed!... I know I sound pretty bad, but I guess I don't feel that you can just have faith that a relationship would always stay the same!.. I'd better stop now before you all think I'm way too cynical.. lol SPOT ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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11/10/2006 6:15 pm |
Yeah, being real is what it should be all about....nobody likes games, thats for sure....eh?
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11/10/2006 6:16 pm |
Oh ELI --- So many of us women know exactly what you went thru, and going thru 8 years of daily disappearance myself of the one good man I ever knew, still leaves HIS ways in my heart. We were blessed beyond thought or actions and tho, they have gone home, I know we both seek another with the good qualities we had with Fernado and Jimmy...........Not AN identical person, but the same values, the honesty, the commitment, the love and sharing.....AND I know there are a few Christian men on this site , that possess those qualities...When Jesus is ready, he will send one to us, it is FAITH and PRAY and our PRAISE in our Hearts that He hears and if we seek, we will find another soul here on this earth where we will be happy again... Blessings to you Eli, thank you for your honest and beautiful values,my deepest respect for your ability to praise, remember the bad times life gave you and commend Jesus in your testimony as a true Christian Yesterday is past and gone, but tomorrow is forever.
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11/10/2006 6:34 pm |
Oh ELI --- So many of us women know exactly what you went thru, and going thru 8 years of daily disappearance myself of the one good man I ever knew, still leaves HIS ways in my heart. We were blessed beyond thought or actions and tho, they have gone home, I know we both seek another with the good qualities we had with Fernado and Jimmy...........Not AN identical person, but the same values, the honesty, the commitment, the love and sharing.....AND I know there are a few Christian men on this site , that possess those qualities...When Jesus is ready, he will send one to us, it is FAITH and PRAY and our PRAISE in our Hearts that He hears and if we seek, we will find another soul here on this earth where we will be happy again... Blessings to you Eli, thank you for your honest and beautiful values,my deepest respect for your ability to praise, remember the bad times life gave you and commend Jesus in your testimony as a true Christian Im starting to think my pc has the 'crying' annointing' lol Its women like you and Cecilia that inspire me, help me have courage andshow me to see beyond what I can see. I am in debt to you and the gorgeous and Godly Women He has brought into my life. ~ contending for the truth ~ ...eli...
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11/10/2006 6:34 pm |
When I am looking from the time I joined this site up to now, I notice that God is with me and in control in this area. Many of you suggest that having e-mails with different men at the same time and see which one matches. It is so funny that God has been putting different men into my life but one by one. When I started to communicate with one, another one disappeared. Though I gave each two same amount of time. Distance....physical distance, I dont consider it is a difficulty .....I am more concern about the distance between hearts, minds and souls. I am thinking we, maybe it is only me, want to experience the God's miracle but we cant experience it because it is not God has stopped performing any miracles in our times, it is we who stop God's miracle. If we dont work with God and think in an open heart, how can we experience miracle ? For example, in a relationship, it is OK to set what are your wants and dont wants....but remember when you are doing your want list, you may, just may, limit your experiencing Gods wonders. Even I join this site, I do not exclude to meet men in my neighborhood if there is, But I do not, do not, confine my searching in my neighborhood. Sorry, Rod, I dont agree with you. I dont think practical is in Gods dictionary...lol...lol....or I dont limit my search of men without kids....but one thing is important to me is what kind of a relationship he is with God....thats quite important to me....what is his visions and dreams.....thats important to me too. Rest I will put it into God's hands....I trust HIM who know me well and will put suitable men into my life. Amazingly....after some times having communicated with different men .....I have clearer picture of what kind of man I am looking for.....even God's calling (not certain about this part yet...looking for Gods guidance...its about missionary......I mentioned it in my blog....last Sunday missionary in Afica has appeared in my mind...Wow....lets see). Though sometimes it is frustrating to see there is another 'unequal yoked'....my faith is still there. I have experienced few bad apples also. They are in sheep's clothing....speak spiritual words....thank God for showing me their disguise. It is important to continue praying to God for the wisdom and guidance in our daily lives.
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11/10/2006 6:37 pm |
I hear ya Sis.. that word faith is a really big word!... I mean how would you know who is THE ONE.. to be honest with ya I thought that I had already found THE ONE!.. but after 2 kids and 19 years of marriage she didn't feel that I was THE ONE... .. I would have to believe that the only way we could ever really know who THE ONE is, that after a lifetime of being together they are still there with you on your death bed!... I know I sound pretty bad, but I guess I don't feel that you can just have faith that a relationship would always stay the same!.. I'd better stop now before you all think I'm way too cynical.. lol I oughta smack you upside the head !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cecilia is right........ You GOOBER !!!!!! a loveable one though lol ...... you are well loved by many oh mannnn........ where is my umbrella to whack you with lol ~ contending for the truth ~ ...eli...
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11/10/2006 6:46 pm |
Hi Cecilia interesting blog....I have found there are a lot of genuine hearts here,both male and female and it seems they are all battle scared and hesitant in stepping into the romantic circle again...Namely to share a HEART,LOVE,HOME,BED,DREAMS,FUTURE,FAMILY with.The road is long and yet IT CAN BE A LONG AND WINDING ROAD,WE all have needs WE wouldn't be human if "WE' didn't and sometimes WE long for those needs so "WE" make the WRONG decision....After many years of heart aches and tears,through being "IMPATIENT" and not waiting on "GODS PLAN",I think "ALL GOD'S (good) THINGS COME TO THOSE THAT WAIT"...as frustrating as that seems at times.....I also think there is no harm in being upfront and asking to meet a fellow Christian/Human,it doesn't mean you are of loose morals,WE must all begin a FRIENDSHIP somewhere??????? No-one is a mind reader and actions speak louder than words sometimes.....It isn't unladylike to iniciate the first move....Today it is different,men will still respect you,sometimes they are too shy and battle scared,think they are unworthy of your attention for fear of being hurt just as we women are...They do have the same feelings and needs and yes LOVE HURTS SOMETIMES....Lessons in life I say......Men and Women have hearts and feelings,many men crave the love we seek.....And not all men want to get in ya pants or women get in ya wallet there are many who can RESPECT you for who you are,a beautiful woman/beautiful man-...it's funny cos most women have the fear of being sexually mistreated and men fear being financely mistreated.FEAR is is the devils curse,it holds us back from experiencing GODS TRUE BLESSINGS.........LOVE .... IT'S BETTER FOR YOUR HEART TO MAKE A MISTAKE THAN TO LIVE LIFE WITHOUT A HEART........ I have found these days if there is a love interest placed upon my path and it ISN'T GOD'S PLAN, they are removed...Yes it is a hard pill to swallow but I am learning more and more to TRUST GOD and HIS PLAN,then the heart doesn't feel as heavy or the pain....Prayer it works,people come onto our paths for a reason and sometimes it is only a season so make the most of the seasons as they come and go..Lessons and Growth periods in Your life.....It is while God has you there without you hearts desire,you begin to learn more about the real you,who you are,the past mistakes or lessons, LOVE IS BLIND and sometimes WE DON"T SEE IT CLEARLY......Trust in GOD.... HE KNOWS WHO"S COMING YOUR WAY,the TIME,PLACE and WHO WILL SWEEP YOU OFF YA FEET,MELT YOUR HEART,BRING YOU JOY,PEACE and CONTENTMENT.....walk HIS walk and you WILL LOVE AGAIN ALL GOOD (GOD) THINGS COME TO THOSE THAT WAIT......sometimes it is better to have lost in love than to have never loved at all Cheers and Gods LOVE and GUIDANCE Chris xo
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11/10/2006 7:01 pm |
Hats off girls to Rod and Bruce--they stayed thru intermission, and with respect, Redbird, I might consider a man a few years younger than myself, and so glad you quote the scripture, although I can say- I would like one able to retire and enjoy life when I get that age......This has been a wonderful blog and Rod clearly explains to us, and I think we already know that men, who get hurt have a harder time starting over. To be sure, Rod is a "one in a million" guy, but most just do as you say...They don't want to start over as it is easier to live with the memories of pain, than to risk breaking the heart again. To some extent I understand completely the wall they have built.....WE HAVE TO TRUST SOMEONE---SOME TIME and IF WE CAN"T TRUST JESUS- what hope do any of us have....IF HE means it to be, it will be-Everyone has a reason and a purpose for entering our lives, some stay and some go- we just have to be thankful they were there, and remember the good along with the bad........When you get to the point where the memories are equally divided, then you can LET GO and LET GOD control your life...TOOK me 4 years- but I am moving on, picking up speed everyday and thanking HIM for his intervention and wisdom... Wonderful topic--great discussion! Yesterday is past and gone, but tomorrow is forever.
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11/10/2006 7:09 pm |
Eli, thank you so much for what you’ve written here… I never want to hear another word about your blond brain cells you possess perception and wisdom to depths that touch both genders and I for one am truly grateful to know you.Blessings always. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/10/2006 7:17 pm |
Hi Cecilia interesting blog....I have found there are a lot of genuine hearts here,both male and female and it seems they are all battle scared and hesitant in stepping into the romantic circle again...Namely to share a HEART,LOVE,HOME,BED,DREAMS,FUTURE,FAMILY with.The road is long and yet IT CAN BE A LONG AND WINDING ROAD,WE all have needs WE wouldn't be human if "WE' didn't and sometimes WE long for those needs so "WE" make the WRONG decision....After many years of heart aches and tears,through being "IMPATIENT" and not waiting on "GODS PLAN",I think "ALL GOD'S (good) THINGS COME TO THOSE THAT WAIT"...as frustrating as that seems at times.....I also think there is no harm in being upfront and asking to meet a fellow Christian/Human,it doesn't mean you are of loose morals,WE must all begin a FRIENDSHIP somewhere??????? No-one is a mind reader and actions speak louder than words sometimes.....It isn't unladylike to iniciate the first move....Today it is different,men will still respect you,sometimes they are too shy and battle scared,think they are unworthy of your attention for fear of being hurt just as we women are...They do have the same feelings and needs and yes LOVE HURTS SOMETIMES....Lessons in life I say......Men and Women have hearts and feelings,many men crave the love we seek.....And not all men want to get in ya pants or women get in ya wallet there are many who can RESPECT you for who you are,a beautiful woman/beautiful man-...it's funny cos most women have the fear of being sexually mistreated and men fear being financely mistreated.FEAR is is the devils curse,it holds us back from experiencing GODS TRUE BLESSINGS.........LOVE .... IT'S BETTER FOR YOUR HEART TO MAKE A MISTAKE THAN TO LIVE LIFE WITHOUT A HEART........ I have found these days if there is a love interest placed upon my path and it ISN'T GOD'S PLAN, they are removed...Yes it is a hard pill to swallow but I am learning more and more to TRUST GOD and HIS PLAN,then the heart doesn't feel as heavy or the pain....Prayer it works,people come onto our paths for a reason and sometimes it is only a season so make the most of the seasons as they come and go..Lessons and Growth periods in Your life.....It is while God has you there without you hearts desire,you begin to learn more about the real you,who you are,the past mistakes or lessons, LOVE IS BLIND and sometimes WE DON"T SEE IT CLEARLY......Trust in GOD.... HE KNOWS WHO"S COMING YOUR WAY,the TIME,PLACE and WHO WILL SWEEP YOU OFF YA FEET,MELT YOUR HEART,BRING YOU JOY,PEACE and CONTENTMENT.....walk HIS walk and you WILL LOVE AGAIN ALL GOOD (GOD) THINGS COME TO THOSE THAT WAIT......sometimes it is better to have lost in love than to have never loved at all Cheers and Gods LOVE and GUIDANCE Chris xoYou are absolutely correct in your deduction of us being afraid of how we will be viewed by others if we make the first move, especially if they happen to be our brothers in Christ. I know that I fear them seeing me as one or more of several things: Desperate Morally Loose A Gold Digger Unladylike (this one is really one I hate as I hate the term "Lady" to begin with since God didn't make "ladies" He made women. And a lady to me is someone who thinks she is too good to get her hands dirty, afraid of breaking a fingernail, will only wear the best and most expensive of every or anything, etc.) Just to name a few. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/10/2006 7:43 pm |
Hats off girls to Rod and Bruce--they stayed thru intermission, and with respect, Redbird, I might consider a man a few years younger than myself, and so glad you quote the scripture, although I can say- I would like one able to retire and enjoy life when I get that age......This has been a wonderful blog and Rod clearly explains to us, and I think we already know that men, who get hurt have a harder time starting over. To be sure, Rod is a "one in a million" guy, but most just do as you say...They don't want to start over as it is easier to live with the memories of pain, than to risk breaking the heart again. To some extent I understand completely the wall they have built.....WE HAVE TO TRUST SOMEONE---SOME TIME and IF WE CAN"T TRUST JESUS- what hope do any of us have....IF HE means it to be, it will be-Everyone has a reason and a purpose for entering our lives, some stay and some go- we just have to be thankful they were there, and remember the good along with the bad........When you get to the point where the memories are equally divided, then you can LET GO and LET GOD control your life...TOOK me 4 years- but I am moving on, picking up speed everyday and thanking HIM for his intervention and wisdom... Wonderful topic--great discussion! Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/10/2006 7:53 pm |
ROD !!!!!!!!!! I oughta smack you upside the head !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cecilia is right........ You GOOBER !!!!!! a loveable one though lol ...... you are well loved by many oh mannnn........ where is my umbrella to whack you with lol Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/10/2006 8:21 pm |
Hi again Cecilia....That's where you get it wrong DON'T HESITATE,give your love doesn't mean giving your heart until you are absolutely certain it is GOD's WILL.....HIS PLAN No you are not (1) desperate : to be up front and be a friend. (2)Morally loose : Hmmmmm what is that  to loose ya morals,you are incontrol of your morals and standards I feel....your choice??(3) A gold digger : I never carry a pick so I can't dig for gold, ya can't take it with ya when ya gone so why bother.simple pleasures.. (4)unladylike : I'm a lady and I get my hands dirty and break many a nail,I am poor but I still wear the best,present myself well,I fart,cough and burp but I'm still a lady,I shovel the dog poo in the yard, and I'm still a lady.....it's about time and place,Thats where ya got it wrong don't be the judge,have Faith in You and what an awesum LADY/WOMAN/FEMALE you are,and BELIEVE IN YOU,TRUST IN GODS CHOICES,as you stated before WOLVES IN SHEEPS CLOTHING,that's the devil disguising the bad sheep (the lost) in the paddock..and there are many bad sheep out there. Let the SHEPHERD lead the FLOCK,those that are not apart of HIS FLOCK are those in the wolves clothing if ya know what I mean God continues to give us the test even if they are continually repeated,UNTIL WE GET IT RIGHT......these days I have found a lot of answers to lifes road only through having my heart broken by MY WILL not HIS.......now I focus more on GODS PLAN and HIS GUIDANCE,I guess it comes with age and lifes experiences,and I've had plenty of them believe me...continue to pray for Gods WILL and GODS CHOICES and it will never fail you.....Hey Cecilia I am still learning and I guess will always wear my heart on my sleeve but now I have learned to cover it with the blood of Jesus,walk with His cloak on,so my heart is seen beating and giving love but protected from the elements of life......Love and Gods guidance Always Be Blessed and TRUST and BELIEVE COS GOD HAS IT ALL.... just you wait and see luvs & hugs chrisGod's Angel The truth,The Light,The Way THE LORD PRESERVES ALL WHO LOVE HIM........psalm145-20........
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11/10/2006 9:20 pm |
OK.. ladies I here what your saying.. if God TELLS me that someone is THE ONE... I will pursue a relationship with her, even if she lives as far away as Mars... lol Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/10/2006 9:27 pm |
i am sorrry i didn't mean all men but most men. although.. i don'y have worry.."i am beautiful" lol just teasing........yes women do look at looks to...but are able to look past the looks on first encounter than man..... friend pat
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11/10/2006 9:46 pm |
na..na..na...na..na..na you can't catch me!...lol   And you know what I'm gonna be doing when she gives it to ya????? MAOEphesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/10/2006 9:55 pm |
Hi again Cecilia....That's where you get it wrong DON'T HESITATE,give your love doesn't mean giving your heart until you are absolutely certain it is GOD's WILL.....HIS PLAN No you are not (1) desperate : to be up front and be a friend. (2)Morally loose : Hmmmmm what is that to loose ya morals,you are incontrol of your morals and standards I feel....your choice??(3) A gold digger : I never carry a pick so I can't dig for gold, ya can't take it with ya when ya gone so why bother.simple pleasures.. (4)unladylike : I'm a lady and I get my hands dirty and break many a nail,I am poor but I still wear the best,present myself well,I fart,cough and burp but I'm still a lady,I shovel the dog poo in the yard, and I'm still a lady.....it's about time and place,Thats where ya got it wrong don't be the judge,have Faith in You and what an awesum LADY/WOMAN/FEMALE you are,and BELIEVE IN YOU,TRUST IN GODS CHOICES,as you stated before WOLVES IN SHEEPS CLOTHING,that's the devil disguising the bad sheep (the lost) in the paddock..and there are many bad sheep out there. Let the SHEPHERD lead the FLOCK,those that are not apart of HIS FLOCK are those in the wolves clothing if ya know what I mean God continues to give us the test even if they are continually repeated,UNTIL WE GET IT RIGHT......these days I have found a lot of answers to lifes road only through having my heart broken by MY WILL not HIS.......now I focus more on GODS PLAN and HIS GUIDANCE,I guess it comes with age and lifes experiences,and I've had plenty of them believe me...continue to pray for Gods WILL and GODS CHOICES and it will never fail you.....Hey Cecilia I am still learning and I guess will always wear my heart on my sleeve but now I have learned to cover it with the blood of Jesus,walk with His cloak on,so my heart is seen beating and giving love but protected from the elements of life......Love and Gods guidance Always Be Blessed and TRUST and BELIEVE COS GOD HAS IT ALL.... just you wait and see luvs & hugs chrisI too have had my lessons in the school of hard knocks when it comes to the affairs of the heart. I also tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and love far too easily. That is why I make every attempt to be very, very cautious. Sometimes I guess we all let our hearts overrule our heads though, then it's time to pay the piper and learn another lesson. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/10/2006 10:02 pm |
OK.. ladies I here what your saying.. if God TELLS me that someone is THE ONE... I will pursue a relationship with her, even if she lives as far away as Mars... lol Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/10/2006 11:13 pm |
Cecilia you didn't offend me at all,we all have a little tomboy in us and yet there are some that would never declare it,same as the fellows with the little feminine part within their heart they would never declare that,for they may be called GAY......it is good to nurture all aspects of oneself be it tomboy/lady or feminine/bloke... there is always a black sheep in a Family I am one also,but you know what Cecilia that's what makes us UNIQUE and SPECIAL.....keep our hearts as they are soft sweet and genuine Chris Luv & hugs God's Angel The truth,The Light,The Way THE LORD PRESERVES ALL WHO LOVE HIM........psalm145-20........
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11/11/2006 2:19 am |
na..na..na...na..na..na you can't catch me!...lol thats what someone else said too.. guess what .... ......... he got 'caught' lololol ummmmm.......  actually, he yaho ooded me instead ( and I sent the sweaty ghaninianian CEO my sweaty stinky socks ) ps Rod........ watch out in the mail a parcel might arrive ROFL........... who needs umbrellas when you have socks as weapons ahem.... and annnnyyywayyyyy bro........ *snickers again* .... even if I cant catchya.... GOD CAN so...... NEVER SAY NEVER lololllllllllllll *smiles succinctly with umbrella in hand and does a high five with Cecilia* ~ contending for the truth ~ ...eli...
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11/11/2006 2:24 am |
Bubba, you better hope and pray that she never finds Michigan on the map and makes it to the states with her umbrella, cause you are really asking for it!!!!!! And you know what I'm gonna be doing when she gives it to ya????? MAOour Roddy will never be the same after this I do believe Cecilia, he is learning ps..... I did find Michigan on the map Im organizing a 'visit' with my beloved sisters (Im gonna find all the Texan sisters to join me and visit you hahahaaaa) to yendor the yendor lol  ~ contending for the truth ~ ...eli...
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11/11/2006 3:23 am |
Hey Greg actually I must agree as if one looks at the opening phrase yes it is implying the men here are Wolves but there probably are women that could be classed in the same catagory First and foremost it is Gods will to put you on the same path and Yes it must be in Both Hearts for the union of LOVE EVERLASTING to survive...Yes Greg I can say as would many others here at this site we all flirt and play the game so to speak...By that I mean the flirty game of liking each other,but I'm sure MOST adults know full well if they have a brain that it is God's plan and there is nothing wrong with sharing a LOVE in an HONEST FRIENLY MANNER,there are after all many forms or levels of love Correct When it gets to the DEEP MEANINGFUL LOVE that's another ball game,the FRIENDSHIPS and LOVES I HAVE FORMED HERE are given my honest affection and and a SINCERE piece of my heart.....I'm don't fool people just give my love freely and am not expecting anything ROMANCE/RELATIONSHIP back,just a GENUINE LOVE,ya know what I mean....HOPEFULLY......a group of everlasting friendships and fellowship....If ya want the dating game there are many sites out there solely for that purpose I was under the impression this site was a FELLOWSHIP SITE, and yeh there are many friends and most definiately what i personally call LOVES Here for me....People touch your heart and not everyone touches it in the same way......Greg I luvya still your my buddy and I'm not expecting you to marry me or anything like that nor anyone else here ... I guess when you reach a certain age it is not about the lusting anymore but the companionship,friendship,love and caring,the peacefullness true love can bring....Just my feeling tis all.....We all flirt and innocently play but that's just too make you feel loved not to be in love DAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I guess that my main point that I am trying to say is we all should just ENJOY the BLESSINGS OF EACHOTHER THROUGHOUT OUR DAY/NIGHT HERE<LOVE ONE ANOTHER BE FRIENDS and WALK as JESUS WOULD....hey didn't He share His LOVE with ALL,did that mean He had to jump in the cot with everyone to prove His Love or marry them or make a commitment :]seems to me this is getting way of track and we all need to focus back on the LOVE we all have within us GODS LOVE,walk HIS walk and TALK HIS TALK stop being SELF CENTRED and ENJOY OUR TIME TOGETHER....BROTHERS & SISTERS IN CHRIST Ya with me or wat ????I LUVYA ALL some on a more intimate level than others but that's cool PEACE LOVE GOD LUVYAS sincerely with all that I am.....Chris xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoGod's Angel The truth,The Light,The Way THE LORD PRESERVES ALL WHO LOVE HIM........psalm145-20........
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11/11/2006 4:39 am |
Hehehehe our Roddy will never be the same after this I do believe Cecilia, he is learning ps..... I did find Michigan on the map Im organizing a 'visit' with my beloved sisters (Im gonna find all the Texan sisters to join me and visit you hahahaaaa) to yendor the yendor lol Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/11/2006 4:47 am |
Rod, I sure hope that you are not feeling battered and bruised here. I truly am just trying to help allieve some of the fears that are hindering all of us in seeking the one that God has out there for us. You just happen to be the only male that has had the courage to really participate in this discussion so you have gotten an awful lot of feedback on your comments. I just hope you realize that all of us truly love you as a brother in Christ and want your happiness above everything else. That is what I want for all of my brothers and sisters here at BC, for them to find the happiness that I know God has for them here in this life. That someone special that will be there by their side through thick and thin, good and bad, hard times and good times. Like you said, the one who will be there till the day they die, no matter what life throws at them. .. to be honest with ya Cecilia I can't trust my heart for these types of decisions.. I would need to rely on God to direct me to the right woman.. and even then I have to be careful to know that it is God speaking not Rod speaking.. sometimes I like to try and fool myself.. lol Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/11/2006 4:50 am |
When I am looking from the time I joined this site up to now, I notice that God is with me and in control in this area. Many of you suggest that having e-mails with different men at the same time and see which one matches. It is so funny that God has been putting different men into my life but one by one. When I started to communicate with one, another one disappeared. Though I gave each two same amount of time. Distance....physical distance, I dont consider it is a difficulty .....I am more concern about the distance between hearts, minds and souls. I am thinking we, maybe it is only me, want to experience the God's miracle but we cant experience it because it is not God has stopped performing any miracles in our times, it is we who stop God's miracle. If we dont work with God and think in an open heart, how can we experience miracle ? For example, in a relationship, it is OK to set what are your wants and dont wants....but remember when you are doing your want list, you may, just may, limit your experiencing Gods wonders. Even I join this site, I do not exclude to meet men in my neighborhood if there is, But I do not, do not, confine my searching in my neighborhood. Sorry, Rod, I dont agree with you. I dont think practical is in Gods dictionary...lol...lol....or I dont limit my search of men without kids....but one thing is important to me is what kind of a relationship he is with God....thats quite important to me....what is his visions and dreams.....thats important to me too. Rest I will put it into God's hands....I trust HIM who know me well and will put suitable men into my life. Amazingly....after some times having communicated with different men .....I have clearer picture of what kind of man I am looking for.....even God's calling (not certain about this part yet...looking for Gods guidance...its about missionary......I mentioned it in my blog....last Sunday missionary in Afica has appeared in my mind...Wow....lets see). Though sometimes it is frustrating to see there is another 'unequal yoked'....my faith is still there. I have experienced few bad apples also. They are in sheep's clothing....speak spiritual words....thank God for showing me their disguise. It is important to continue praying to God for the wisdom and guidance in our daily lives. So J... when are you going to make the trip to Michigan?... lol Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/11/2006 4:53 am |
Hats off girls to Rod and Bruce--they stayed thru intermission, and with respect, Redbird, I might consider a man a few years younger than myself, and so glad you quote the scripture, although I can say- I would like one able to retire and enjoy life when I get that age......This has been a wonderful blog and Rod clearly explains to us, and I think we already know that men, who get hurt have a harder time starting over. To be sure, Rod is a "one in a million" guy, but most just do as you say...They don't want to start over as it is easier to live with the memories of pain, than to risk breaking the heart again. To some extent I understand completely the wall they have built.....WE HAVE TO TRUST SOMEONE---SOME TIME and IF WE CAN"T TRUST JESUS- what hope do any of us have....IF HE means it to be, it will be-Everyone has a reason and a purpose for entering our lives, some stay and some go- we just have to be thankful they were there, and remember the good along with the bad........When you get to the point where the memories are equally divided, then you can LET GO and LET GOD control your life...TOOK me 4 years- but I am moving on, picking up speed everyday and thanking HIM for his intervention and wisdom... Wonderful topic--great discussion! Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/11/2006 4:55 am |
I think you ladies stay up all night blogging... it makes it hard for me to try and catch up with ya's in the morning.. lol Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/11/2006 6:24 am |
Hey Greg actually I must agree as if one looks at the opening phrase yes it is implying the men here are Wolves but there probably are women that could be classed in the same catagory First and foremost it is Gods will to put you on the same path and Yes it must be in Both Hearts for the union of LOVE EVERLASTING to survive...Yes Greg I can say as would many others here at this site we all flirt and play the game so to speak...By that I mean the flirty game of liking each other,but I'm sure MOST adults know full well if they have a brain that it is God's plan and there is nothing wrong with sharing a LOVE in an HONEST FRIENLY MANNER,there are after all many forms or levels of love Correct When it gets to the DEEP MEANINGFUL LOVE that's another ball game,the FRIENDSHIPS and LOVES I HAVE FORMED HERE are given my honest affection and and a SINCERE piece of my heart.....I'm don't fool people just give my love freely and am not expecting anything ROMANCE/RELATIONSHIP back,just a GENUINE LOVE,ya know what I mean....HOPEFULLY......a group of everlasting friendships and fellowship....If ya want the dating game there are many sites out there solely for that purpose I was under the impression this site was a FELLOWSHIP SITE, and yeh there are many friends and most definiately what i personally call LOVES Here for me....People touch your heart and not everyone touches it in the same way......Greg I luvya still your my buddy and I'm not expecting you to marry me or anything like that nor anyone else here ...I guess when you reach a certain age it is not about the lusting anymore but the companionship,friendship,love and caring,the peacefullness true love can bring....Just my feeling tis all.....We all flirt and innocently play but that's just too make you feel loved not to be in love DAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I guess that my main point that I am trying to say is we all should just ENJOY the BLESSINGS OF EACHOTHER THROUGHOUT OUR DAY/NIGHT HEREI LUVYA ALL some on a more intimate level than others but that's cool PEACE LOVE GOD LUVYAS sincerely with all that I am.....Chris xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoOnce more let me reiterate that my purpose here is to help us all, men and women, look at our fears and try to overcome them. I just happened to point out what I see as the men's fears as I seem to have taken note them more than I have those of the women here at BC. As for what this site is, it is a dating site as well as a fellowship site. I believe I would be safe in saying that most of the people here joined this site looking for a fellow believer as a mate and ended up here in the blogs or in the magazine where the true fellowship of the members occur. I too have many that I love here, as brothers and sisters in the Lord, but am also seeking the one special man that God has out there for me as well. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/11/2006 7:02 am |
i just finished reading this and now i will put in my two cents worth of opinion...about what it's worth....i don't think it was a fair opening statement and question to begin with.....why should we [men] be considered wolfs because we don't step up to the plate with any of the ladies here.....i don't mean for that to sound heartless and cold but shouldn't the desire and feeling for two people be mutual? if a woman has her eye on a certain fella here and he's unaware or not interested in taking that friendship to the next level..ph calls..e-mails...short or long drives or jet travel why is he then "not stepping up to the plate? is he to be labeled a wolf because he doesn't feel the same way about the woman? our we suppose to get involved with someone else because we're all Christians and single and one wants to irregardless of the others feelings....shouldn't love be there in the first place for the both of them?...i totally disagree with the opening statement and comment cecilia and think that all the dialog here from the others afterward in regards to what you stated have not address that point.....what if i said to you that i have found myself thinking of you a lot lately and asked you for your phone no. so we could start talking to each other and possibly meet in person so we pursue a dating relationship?....but you didn't feel the same way towards me and let me know that you were sorry but the feelings you had for me weren't mutual...now i go to hellen and do the same thing and get the same response...then eli...same and end up going up and down the posts asking all the girls and getting the same results...would it be right for me to say something like what's with b.c. girls...why don't you stand up to the plate?...no it wouldn't and here's why... love has to be in the hearts of the man and the woman who are contemplating a relationship...it had better be if that relationship is to survive..there must be some initial spark......connection...and attraction that jolts through us to get our attention....it's no one's fault if that special kind of love between a man and woman isn't there.... and i believe it will come to all of us if that is God's will for our life's.....now i'm talking about dating and courtship and not marriage...cus in a marriage if the love has grown cold or seems dead i believe it can become alive and powerful between the husband and wife again if they will by an act of their will start to honor and obey God by choosing to start treating their spouse with love irregardless of their being no emotional feelings as when they first got married....love is a choice and God commands us to love one another...even our enemy's..the emotions will follow the act of the marriage partner's by obeying God's command....but that is certainly not a good idea for a man and woman to get married...if it's not there in the first place for the two of them....i may be the only one here on this post saying this but i was bothered by the opening statement and felt it was wrong to infer that some or all of us men are wolfs or not standing up as Christian men cus we're not making moves here with you beautiful and lovely ladies.....and i think everyone else just Menander off on why we don't want to get involved with all the risks and fears that all of us have to some degree and never address this unfair and false statement.....i'm sorry but i just don't think this post should have been put up to begin with....when i first came here it was to find that special someone...as time went on i found myself enjoying the friendships and love that has developed sense that time and now i'm at peace more now than at any other time of my life with being single and know and believe that God will bring that special lady into my life if He chooses to....and i'm in no hurry or feel like i have to "step up to the plate" with some of you that have caught my eye....love is first of all patient....and if i ever am blessed by God again with the love of a woman in marriage....i want to be sure that He is the one leading me into it and not me and my very faulty emotions and desires...i hope you ladies don't get angry with me now and stop talking to me.....one last thing i'd like to mention.....i hope i have never mislead anyone here with my flirting...i know i have sometimes been as hellen said "outrageous" only because its been so fun and i felt it was taken with same love and good spirit that it was given....maybe i should watch that more closely from here on in...i do love each and everyone of you and thank God for your friendships......
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11/11/2006 7:15 am |
i posted this last night befor chris's last comment...that's why she is adressing me in it...i copied it then deleted the original to change some sentence strutures and misspelled words..as i was doing this my p.c. went off line right as i was posting it again and as you can see it didn't get up before i went off line...greg
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11/11/2006 7:20 am |
i just finished reading this and now i will put in my two cents worth of opinion...about what it's worth....i don't think it was a fair opening statement and question to begin with.....why should we [men] be considered wolfs because we don't step up to the plate with any of the ladies here.....i don't mean for that to sound heartless and cold but shouldn't the desire and feeling for two people be mutual? if a woman has her eye on a certain fella here and he's unaware or not interested in taking that friendship to the next level..ph calls..e-mails...short or long drives or jet travel why is he then "not stepping up to the plate? is he to be labeled a wolf because he doesn't feel the same way about the woman? our we suppose to get involved with someone else because we're all Christians and single and one wants to irregardless of the others feelings....shouldn't love be there in the first place for the both of them?...i totally disagree with the opening statement and comment cecilia and think that all the dialog here from the others afterward in regards to what you stated have not address that point.....what if i said to you that i have found myself thinking of you a lot lately and asked you for your phone no. so we could start talking to each other and possibly meet in person so we pursue a dating relationship?....but you didn't feel the same way towards me and let me know that you were sorry but the feelings you had for me weren't mutual...now i go to hellen and do the same thing and get the same response...then eli...same and end up going up and down the posts asking all the girls and getting the same results...would it be right for me to say something like what's with b.c. girls...why don't you stand up to the plate?...no it wouldn't and here's why... love has to be in the hearts of the man and the woman who are contemplating a relationship...it had better be if that relationship is to survive..there must be some initial spark......connection...and attraction that jolts through us to get our attention....it's no one's fault if that special kind of love between a man and woman isn't there.... and i believe it will come to all of us if that is God's will for our life's.....now i'm talking about dating and courtship and not marriage...cus in a marriage if the love has grown cold or seems dead i believe it can become alive and powerful between the husband and wife again if they will by an act of their will start to honor and obey God by choosing to start treating their spouse with love irregardless of their being no emotional feelings as when they first got married....love is a choice and God commands us to love one another...even our enemy's..the emotions will follow the act of the marriage partner's by obeying God's command....but that is certainly not a good idea for a man and woman to get married...if it's not there in the first place for the two of them....i may be the only one here on this post saying this but i was bothered by the opening statement and felt it was wrong to infer that some or all of us men are wolfs or not standing up as Christian men cus we're not making moves here with you beautiful and lovely ladies.....and i think everyone else just Menander off on why we don't want to get involved with all the risks and fears that all of us have to some degree and never address this unfair and false statement.....i'm sorry but i just don't think this post should have been put up to begin with....when i first came here it was to find that special someone...as time went on i found myself enjoying the friendships and love that has developed sense that time and now i'm at peace more now than at any other time of my life with being single and know and believe that God will bring that special lady into my life if He chooses to....and i'm in no hurry or feel like i have to "step up to the plate" with some of you that have caught my eye....love is first of all patient....and if i ever am blessed by God again with the love of a woman in marriage....i want to be sure that He is the one leading me into it and not me and my very faulty emotions and desires...i hope you ladies don't get angry with me now and stop talking to me.....one last thing i'd like to mention.....i hope i have never mislead anyone here with my flirting...i know i have sometimes been as hellen said "outrageous" only because its been so fun and i felt it was taken with same love and good spirit that it was given....maybe i should watch that more closely from here on in...i do love each and everyone of you and thank God for your friendships...... i can see where the title of this post can feel misleading to the good guys...and what is addressed could possibly have been two different posts. cuz those of you who are responding here are the goldy, well loved brothas....and are addressed in the latter part of the email. in my earlier response, i wasn't implying that the guy immediately tell the gal that he can't get her off his mind...i was just saying, it that IS the case...take a risk and tell her that you enjoy her and would like to get to know her better. you talk about 'mutual spark'...and my experience a number of times has been that there is a spark on both sides but when push comes to shove, he says he's too scared and backs away...spark remains, but he backs away. a great definition of intimacy that i was told is that 'intimacy is two people choosing to walk into their fears together.' i like that....cuz by this age we all have some relationship fears but we risk walking in together. love IS patient...but when the other person hedges wanting to be best friends so long and doesn't choose to move forward that is also not love...that gives fear the upper hand...and "there is no fear in love" when i dated non-Christian guys, i knew when it was a date...and i got a kiss or a peck on the cheek at the end of the date. and we went from there. since i am now choosing to 'date' only godly men...i never know...did we spend time together as friends or was this a date??? are we pursuing sumpin or not..;very confusing...and frustrating. hmmmmm, almost makes me wanna go 'missionary dating' (just kidding)whew, prolly dug myself deeper but there it is, HUN. THE SONG OF DIVINE INVITATION
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11/11/2006 7:43 am |
I do not exclude to meet men in my neighborhood if there is, But I do not, do not, confine my searching in my neighborhood. Sorry, Rod, I dont agree with you. I dont think practical is in Gods dictionary...lol...lol....or I dont limit my search of men without kids....but one thing is important to me is what kind of a relationship he is with God.... So J... when are you going to make the trip to Michigan?... lol Michigan lake is beautiful, I know.
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11/11/2006 8:03 am |
"you talk about 'mutual spark'...and my experience a number of times has been that there is a spark on both sides but when push comes to shove, he says he's too scared and backs away...spark remains, but he backs away. a great definition of intimacy that i was told is that 'intimacy is two people choosing to walk into their fears together i like that....cuz by this age we all have some relationship fears but we risk walking in together"..........yeah i like that too!...i read this post when it first came up and have read it many times since...and was going to post my thought's about it the very first day but didn't until now. to be honest whenever i read it i still think...yikes! and i suspect the other fellas did too at first!....i don't know hellen I've never been a don juan or ladies kind of a man so i'm probably the least qualified to speak here for the men....and Cecilla i hope you are not hurt or offended with what i said above...i was just speaking from my heart and would never mean to step on anyone's toe's intentionally...that's why i was hesitant to comment in the first place.....love you all..greg/duncan..
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11/11/2006 8:04 am |
i just finished reading this and now i will put in my two cents worth of opinion...about what it's worth....i don't think it was a fair opening statement and question to begin with.....why should we [men] be considered wolfs because we don't step up to the plate with any of the ladies here.....i don't mean for that to sound heartless and cold but shouldn't the desire and feeling for two people be mutual? if a woman has her eye on a certain fella here and he's unaware or not interested in taking that friendship to the next level..ph calls..e-mails...short or long drives or jet travel why is he then "not stepping up to the plate? is he to be labeled a wolf because he doesn't feel the same way about the woman? our we suppose to get involved with someone else because we're all Christians and single and one wants to irregardless of the others feelings....shouldn't love be there in the first place for the both of them?...i totally disagree with the opening statement and comment cecilia and think that all the dialog here from the others afterward in regards to what you stated have not address that point.....what if i said to you that i have found myself thinking of you a lot lately and asked you for your phone no. so we could start talking to each other and possibly meet in person so we pursue a dating relationship?....but you didn't feel the same way towards me and let me know that you were sorry but the feelings you had for me weren't mutual...now i go to hellen and do the same thing and get the same response...then eli...same and end up going up and down the posts asking all the girls and getting the same results...would it be right for me to say something like what's with b.c. girls...why don't you stand up to the plate?...no it wouldn't and here's why... love has to be in the hearts of the man and the woman who are contemplating a relationship...it had better be if that relationship is to survive..there must be some initial spark......connection...and attraction that jolts through us to get our attention....it's no one's fault if that special kind of love between a man and woman isn't there.... and i believe it will come to all of us if that is God's will for our life's.....now i'm talking about dating and courtship and not marriage...cus in a marriage if the love has grown cold or seems dead i believe it can become alive and powerful between the husband and wife again if they will by an act of their will start to honor and obey God by choosing to start treating their spouse with love irregardless of their being no emotional feelings as when they first got married....love is a choice and God commands us to love one another...even our enemy's..the emotions will follow the act of the marriage partner's by obeying God's command....but that is certainly not a good idea for a man and woman to get married...if it's not there in the first place for the two of them....i may be the only one here on this post saying this but i was bothered by the opening statement and felt it was wrong to infer that some or all of us men are wolfs or not standing up as Christian men cus we're not making moves here with you beautiful and lovely ladies.....and i think everyone else just Menander off on why we don't want to get involved with all the risks and fears that all of us have to some degree and never address this unfair and false statement.....i'm sorry but i just don't think this post should have been put up to begin with....when i first came here it was to find that special someone...as time went on i found myself enjoying the friendships and love that has developed sense that time and now i'm at peace more now than at any other time of my life with being single and know and believe that God will bring that special lady into my life if He chooses to....and i'm in no hurry or feel like i have to "step up to the plate" with some of you that have caught my eye....love is first of all patient....and if i ever am blessed by God again with the love of a woman in marriage....i want to be sure that He is the one leading me into it and not me and my very faulty emotions and desires...i hope you ladies don't get angry with me now and stop talking to me.....one last thing i'd like to mention.....i hope i have never mislead anyone here with my flirting...i know i have sometimes been as hellen said "outrageous" only because its been so fun and i felt it was taken with same love and good spirit that it was given....maybe i should watch that more closely from here on in...i do love each and everyone of you and thank God for your friendships...... As I have stated throughout this post as well as in another post, the first part of this post, about wolves in sheeps clothing, had to do with someone who is not even a blogger. Someone who was attracted to me and I him, and come to find out he is trying on women like most people try on clothes, before making a purchase, on top of wanting to make a collection of several for LTR. Yet all along claiming to be a Christian. After that I decided to address an issue that I have felt has been a possible problem here at BC and that I believed that others of my sisters feel to be a possible problem. As it turns out, I was correct in that belief. We have, many of us been hurt in the past, and are perhaps allowing that past to hinder our lives today. I was simply trying to bring these fears out into the light so that they could be dealt with. I am not saying that just men have them, we women have our fears as well, but we do tend to believe that is up to the man to make the first move. And I do honestly believe that many men set their expectations way too high. I am not the only one who has addressed this particular problem, of setting too high a standard, I just did it in a different format, addressing the possible fears behind those expectations that allows people to use them as an excuse to continue to hide behind their fears instead of overcoming them. I believe that I have made it clear that we all should be most attentive to the unctioning of the Holy Spirit and not just hop from one to another until we get a response as you suggest. But I also made it clear that perhaps some are ignoring that unctioning because of their fears, lack of faith or personal expectation. I never intended to discourage or offend anyone but instead to encourage, edify and perhaps find some way for all of us to help one another in healing these past hurts through support and prayer. Please know that you are a dear brother to us all and that I have no intention of stopping talking to you and hope that you feel the same and won't stop talking to me. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/11/2006 8:44 am |
mornin' greg. i can see where the title of this post can feel misleading to the good guys...and what is addressed could possibly have been two different posts. cuz those of you who are responding here are the goldy, well loved brothas....and are addressed in the latter part of the email. in my earlier response, i wasn't implying that the guy immediately tell the gal that he can't get her off his mind...i was just saying, it that IS the case...take a risk and tell her that you enjoy her and would like to get to know her better. you talk about 'mutual spark'...and my experience a number of times has been that there is a spark on both sides but when push comes to shove, he says he's too scared and backs away...spark remains, but he backs away. a great definition of intimacy that i was told is that 'intimacy is two people choosing to walk into their fears together.' i like that....cuz by this age we all have some relationship fears but we risk walking in together. love IS patient...but when the other person hedges wanting to be best friends so long and doesn't choose to move forward that is also not love...that gives fear the upper hand...and "there is no fear in love" when i dated non-Christian guys, i knew when it was a date...and i got a kiss or a peck on the cheek at the end of the date. and we went from there. since i am now choosing to 'date' only godly men...i never know...did we spend time together as friends or was this a date??? are we pursuing sumpin or not..;very confusing...and frustrating. hmmmmm, almost makes me wanna go 'missionary dating' (just kidding)whew, prolly dug myself deeper but there it is, HUN. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/11/2006 8:45 am |
Hi Cecilia, I hear your heart and frustration here; I can only speak for myself on this obviously. I’m real; I’m NOT playing out some alter ego like many I’ve seen here. The issue for me about this site is that I find it so hard to really get to know what a person is like. A person is much more than what they can type in a measured environment like this. I mean where one can take as much time as one what to take to respond to any given post. Real life is so different. So yes for me my past experiences have taught me that to get innovated too early can end up in pain for both. It just takes time I reckon and there will be a peace about it. Waiting is not easy for any of us. Hang in there kido and keep seeking Him. The statements that i made there were a more generic 'you' and not personally aimed at just you...especially since you are relatively new here...however, in the short time, i have learned to respect you, to value you and your input here very much. Please don't let a couple of bad experiences chase you away. We (  really need you here on the blogs. I for one appreciate you alot...and consider you a friend.  THE SONG OF DIVINE INVITATION
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11/11/2006 8:50 am |
"you talk about 'mutual spark'...and my experience a number of times has been that there is a spark on both sides but when push comes to shove, he says he's too scared and backs away...spark remains, but he backs away. a great definition of intimacy that i was told is that 'intimacy is two people choosing to walk into their fears together i like that....cuz by this age we all have some relationship fears but we risk walking in together"..........yeah i like that too!...i read this post when it first came up and have read it many times since...and was going to post my thought's about it the very first day but didn't until now. to be honest whenever i read it i still think...yikes! and i suspect the other fellas did too at first!....i don't know hellen I've never been a don juan or ladies kind of a man so i'm probably the least qualified to speak here for the men....and Cecilla i hope you are not hurt or offended with what i said above...i was just speaking from my heart and would never mean to step on anyone's toe's intentionally...that's why i was hesitant to comment in the first place.....love you all..greg/duncan.. and on a personal level, i'm certainly not one who speaks here as a 'qualified' female either...so mebbe we can continue to 'walk into our fears together' here in open dialogue...and gain some understanding, love and appreciation for what the opposite gender goes through in this whole process, heh? i sure do appreciate you...thanks for being here. THE SONG OF DIVINE INVITATION
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11/11/2006 9:15 am |
hey cecilia you don't Need to ask for my forgiveness...i should have said surprised or disappointed instead of offended....that's more closer to the response that i had after reading this post so many times.....i saw what you wrote to rod and how this was addressed to others and not him or those you all consider to be men after God's heart...but i think there is a lot more to it than that......quote..."I know that there are good men on this web-site but they all seem to have taken a vow to remain alone the rest of their lives. I know that many who come to my blog and whose blog I visit regularly are very high dove matches for me. What is it with you guys? You all joke and carry on here on the blogs but are any of you really here to find a Godly women to share the rest of your life with? And if you are, what are you doing about it? I have been tempted many times to approach some of you but I feel so uncomfortable doing that because I wasn't raised that way. I grew up believing that it is the man's place to approach the woman. And I know that some of you have gone and looked at my profile. I am quite sure that there was something there that didn't meet your approval, probably the fact that I smoke, but if you are waiting for someone perfect then you may be waiting yourself right into the grave. I realize that there are many people here who have been hurt, believe me I know about being hurt. But what ever happened to faith? What ever happened to believing that God really does have your best in mind for you? Come on, my brothers!!! There are so many beautiful women of God here. You know they are wise in the ways of the Lord because you read their blogs and see the thoughts they have about His word. Some of you have been here for years. Do you think that God is going to drop your ideal mate into your lap"?....end of quote......that's pretty straight forward to me and i can surly understand the frustration on the part of you ladies...but as you have read from Bruce and rod we have a lot of genuine concerns also and we want to know that God is doing the "bringing together" and not us out there on our own....we've all been there and done that and have paid for it dearly...when i consider rod's situation...being married all those years to the woman he thought would be his wife for his entire life time it makes me even more cautious and apprehensive about getting involved with someone.....am i waiting for God to drop her in my lap....maybe!...that would should be very nice of Him to do so!....please don't feel that you need to apologize to me cecilia...o.k!...hey this post did get everyone talking about some very sensitive and close to the heart issue's and you women seem to really go with that...that figure's doesn't it!.... and maybe it's something us guy's should consider a little more carefully....so what do i know! God bless you and i love you sis!
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11/11/2006 9:54 am |
Hey Greg actually I must agree as if one looks at the opening phrase yes it is implying the men here are Wolves but there probably are women that could be classed in the same catagory First and foremost it is Gods will to put you on the same path and Yes it must be in Both Hearts for the union of LOVE EVERLASTING to survive...Yes Greg I can say as would many others here at this site we all flirt and play the game so to speak...By that I mean the flirty game of liking each other,but I'm sure MOST adults know full well if they have a brain that it is God's plan and there is nothing wrong with sharing a LOVE in an HONEST FRIENLY MANNER,there are after all many forms or levels of love Correct When it gets to the DEEP MEANINGFUL LOVE that's another ball game,the FRIENDSHIPS and LOVES I HAVE FORMED HERE are given my honest affection and and a SINCERE piece of my heart.....I'm don't fool people just give my love freely and am not expecting anything ROMANCE/RELATIONSHIP back,just a GENUINE LOVE,ya know what I mean....HOPEFULLY......a group of everlasting friendships and fellowship....If ya want the dating game there are many sites out there solely for that purpose I was under the impression this site was a FELLOWSHIP SITE, and yeh there are many friends and most definiately what i personally call LOVES Here for me....People touch your heart and not everyone touches it in the same way......Greg I luvya still your my buddy and I'm not expecting you to marry me or anything like that nor anyone else here ...I guess when you reach a certain age it is not about the lusting anymore but the companionship,friendship,love and caring,the peacefullness true love can bring....Just my feeling tis all.....We all flirt and innocently play but that's just too make you feel loved not to be in love DAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I guess that my main point that I am trying to say is we all should just ENJOY the BLESSINGS OF EACHOTHER THROUGHOUT OUR DAY/NIGHT HEREI LUVYA ALL some on a more intimate level than others but that's cool PEACE LOVE GOD LUVYAS sincerely with all that I am.....Chris xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
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11/11/2006 11:32 am |
Thank you, sis, for coming to my defense. Seems I did a really poor job of distinquishing between the two different parts of my post. I hope you have some band-aids so that you can help mend the hurt feelings I have created here. I so appreciate you and your support. i pray that God will bring a deeper understanding and love to all of us throught this discussion...and that He be glorified. THE SONG OF DIVINE INVITATION
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11/11/2006 2:20 pm |
"sometimes when we're expressing deep feelings they come out kinda warbled initially, huh? and what we are doing here is what communication is all about...restating, clarifying and discussing".....true..oh so true sweetest ewe....but it looks like my discussing....restating....clarifying and discussing killed this old post right quick!
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11/11/2006 4:02 pm |
Please, everyone, go and see this post Quotable by araesque. The quotes he has listed here speak right to the heart of what I have been trying to say with this post, and doing so badly. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/11/2006 4:45 pm |
.. and you CeeCee!.. I've been waiting for you, Ewe, and your woman clan to make the trip up here to try and gage me!.. lol sometime... when you least expect it... we will come ForEwe. THE SONG OF DIVINE INVITATION
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11/11/2006 5:11 pm |
amen to this post! im waiting for my soulmate too
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11/11/2006 6:37 pm |
I have heard this kind of complaint from both men and women and to be honest it does not sit well with me. Yes I know the wolves (and wolvettes) are the ones who step up quickly being sickenly sweet about it. It is sad that these people think nothing of messing with your heart and life (and mine). But it sounds more like you are mad at the ones who are NOT contacting you, as if that is the greater offence. What I believe a woman of God should do is expect a man to seek the leading of the Lord and contact her only if he feels led to do so. For me it is not a game and I do not feel one should jump in and keep swinging the bat until something happens. In baseball something will definitely happen, but it will not often result in a homerun. In fact to just keep swinging and hoping for a hit without the leading, or in this case reflex to hit the ball, is more likely to result in a strike out. A good baseball player will not do that. And wise men of God with integrity, knowing it is a delicate matter of the heart, do not contact women unless they feel a leading to do so. I do not want to contact a whole bunch of women and leave a trail of broken hearts or suffer from one myself. For me being here on BigChurch is not just about meeting someone. I think it is a big mistake to be on here with that expectation and if you are you will be hurt because of that, not because of the men or women who reject you. There may be all kinds of men or women on here who do not contact you ..maybe because they are not supposed to! Maybe the one for you is not even on here. Maybe if you are listening to the leading of the Lord you will realize you are supposed to be doing volunteer work and HE will have you meet him/her through that. I can't complain if certain ones I think I might like are not contacting me because I see it as a matter of trusting God. HE knows what is best for me and if HE wants me to be married to a certain women it WILL happen. Now speaking as a man I feel there are a couple more points that need to be made. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman contacting a man. But they are not obligated to respond any more than you are when you don't feel lead. Consider that some men may not contact you simply because that is the honourable thing for them to do, otherwise they would be the players. One thing that I have seen both men and women do on BC blogs is complain that they are not being contacted, and that the opposite \bsexo?\b is just not treating them fairly. I remember one guy who went on and on about the women not contacting him or responding to his contact. Some tried to kindly point some things out to him, that some women on here do not not want a man who smokes and drinks, and more importantly that Godly women do not like to respond to a man who is only seperated. He just ranted more, saying how he knew the word of God better than anybody and all the women here were just being prejudiced. I wonder if anyone else here read that post. In conclusion I have seen and heard many hurting hearts on here, and I have had my own experiences, but I refuse to be driven by them. I am doing my best to be the man of God the Father has called me to be and to live for HIM. For many women I will fall short and that's ok because it is living for HIM that matters most to me. That in itself defines the relationships and even friendships I can get into. When I lived for myself I could go for what I wanted, but now that I live for HIM I want what HE wants. That means I accept HIS will and plans for me as good, if I am to stay single praise HIM. If I am to marry a woman it can only be the one HE has called to match me in the ways HE knows will serve HIS purpose. I encourage all who read this to set aside your desire for relationship long enough to consider your purpose in HIM. And to trust HIM to bring you together with the one that suits HIS purpose, it will happen. Wise and persuasive words are not enough! Nor is just living a good life. If I am to truly live, I must now serve HIM with my life! ...and so... Gal 2:20
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11/11/2006 8:25 pm |
I have heard this kind of complaint from both men and women and to be honest it does not sit well with me. Yes I know the wolves (and wolvettes) are the ones who step up quickly being sickenly sweet about it. It is sad that these people think nothing of messing with your heart and life (and mine). But it sounds more like you are mad at the ones who are NOT contacting you, as if that is the greater offence. What I believe a woman of God should do is expect a man to seek the leading of the Lord and contact her only if he feels led to do so. For me it is not a game and I do not feel one should jump in and keep swinging the bat until something happens. In baseball something will definitely happen, but it will not often result in a homerun. In fact to just keep swinging and hoping for a hit without the leading, or in this case reflex to hit the ball, is more likely to result in a strike out. A good baseball player will not do that. And wise men of God with integrity, knowing it is a delicate matter of the heart, do not contact women unless they feel a leading to do so. I do not want to contact a whole bunch of women and leave a trail of broken hearts or suffer from one myself. For me being here on BigChurch is not just about meeting someone. I think it is a big mistake to be on here with that expectation and if you are you will be hurt because of that, not because of the men or women who reject you. There may be all kinds of men or women on here who do not contact you ..maybe because they are not supposed to! Maybe the one for you is not even on here. Maybe if you are listening to the leading of the Lord you will realize you are supposed to be doing volunteer work and HE will have you meet him/her through that. I can't complain if certain ones I think I might like are not contacting me because I see it as a matter of trusting God. HE knows what is best for me and if HE wants me to be married to a certain women it WILL happen. Now speaking as a man I feel there are a couple more points that need to be made. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a woman contacting a man. But they are not obligated to respond any more than you are when you don't feel lead. Consider that some men may not contact you simply because that is the honourable thing for them to do, otherwise they would be the players. One thing that I have seen both men and women do on BC blogs is complain that they are not being contacted, and that the opposite \bsexo?\b is just not treating them fairly. I remember one guy who went on and on about the women not contacting him or responding to his contact. Some tried to kindly point some things out to him, that some women on here do not not want a man who smokes and drinks, and more importantly that Godly women do not like to respond to a man who is only seperated. He just ranted more, saying how he knew the word of God better than anybody and all the women here were just being prejudiced. I wonder if anyone else here read that post. In conclusion I have seen and heard many hurting hearts on here, and I have had my own experiences, but I refuse to be driven by them. I am doing my best to be the man of God the Father has called me to be and to live for HIM. For many women I will fall short and that's ok because it is living for HIM that matters most to me. That in itself defines the relationships and even friendships I can get into. When I lived for myself I could go for what I wanted, but now that I live for HIM I want what HE wants. That means I accept HIS will and plans for me as good, if I am to stay single praise HIM. If I am to marry a woman it can only be the one HE has called to match me in the ways HE knows will serve HIS purpose. I encourage all who read this to set aside your desire for relationship long enough to consider your purpose in HIM. And to trust HIM to bring you together with the one that suits HIS purpose, it will happen. The first 3 paragraphs of this post pertained to a particular incident that occurred to me just this past week. The remainder of the post was addressing what I felt might me fear issues that were hindering some of my brothers from following the unctioning of the Holy Spirit. I simply was trying to find a way to maybe help with this problem of fear that hinders us all. Thank you for stopping by and having a part in the conversation. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/11/2006 10:08 pm |
WOW,VERY WELL SAID!
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11/11/2006 10:40 pm |
WOW,VERY WELL SAID! Just one question, to whom are your words directed, someone in particular or to the entire conversation? Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/11/2006 10:47 pm |
Depends on if you are ready for missionary in Africa, if it is God's will, lol, lol, I may make the trip to Michigan, but definitely not in winter, I dont want to be freezing into an ice tube....lol..lol.. Michigan lake is beautiful, I know. Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/11/2006 10:49 pm |
somewhere, sometime... when you least expect it... we will come ForEwe. Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/11/2006 11:11 pm |
Cecilia.. it looks like the guys are coming out now!.. lol ...when I read your post I wasn't offended by your words, but it did smart a bit.. lol ..you were sharing your heart, and thats a good thing... ..you are right, a lot of us guys do have fun with "innocent flirting".. and that could be taking wrong by some ladies... ..and I can understand why the ladies don't feel comfortable to approach a guy, but some guys need a bit of a hint at times.. so help the guys out and send a few hints... if they don't bite then just move on!... I really don't see anything wrong with this type of approach!... Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/12/2006 12:06 am |
Cecilia.. it looks like the guys are coming out now!.. lol ...when I read your post I wasn't offended by your words, but it did smart a bit.. lol ..you were sharing your heart, and thats a good thing... ..you are right, a lot of us guys do have fun with "innocent flirting".. and that could be taking wrong by some ladies... ..and I can understand why the ladies don't feel comfortable to approach a guy, but some guys need a bit of a hint at times.. so help the guys out and send a few hints... if they don't bite then just move on!... I really don't see anything wrong with this type of approach!... As in this case, I just stated that I had noticed some of the fella's from here in the blogs had visited my profile. I'm sure they have visited others as well. I wasn't trying to sound as if I were offended because they didn't wink or e-mail me. I had just wondered about it, especially when I see them here in the blogs acting quite open and flirty. I don't really think that any of us take you guy's "innocent flirting" wrong. I do think that we sometimes wonder if there isn't something more behind it that you just aren't saying, and if so, why. Then it dawned on me what the problem could be but I never said anything until this post. That day I had been catching up on reading a lot of the blogs here and I had noticed some things that had been said by some of the other women here, and with what had just occurred to me it just all came tumbling out, not in the best way I suppose, but with the best intentions. As for us hinting to you guys, how would you suggest we do that? Most of the time I notice that the girls flirt right back at you guys. So what would let you know that they are interested without them coming right out and saying so? Maybe you could do a poll on this next, you goober!!!! Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/12/2006 2:20 am |
Hey Cecilia ALL's WELL DEAR LADY everyone sees things diferently and I guess some are more sensitive to others about topics......We are one Family and that is in CHRIST so lets just HUG and LOVE eachother again Blessings always Chris xoxoxoxooxox God's Angel The truth,The Light,The Way THE LORD PRESERVES ALL WHO LOVE HIM........psalm145-20........
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11/12/2006 3:48 am |
Your a sweet lady J.. I just might follow you anywhere.. but then again that could just be Rod speaking, not God!... lol ....mmmmmm......looks like that you still dont realize God is always behind the scene.
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11/12/2006 6:55 am |
"sometimes when we're expressing deep feelings they come out kinda warbled initially, huh? and what we are doing here is what communication is all about...restating, clarifying and discussing".....true..oh so true sweetest ewe....but it looks like my discussing....restating....clarifying and discussing killed this old post right quick! keep discussin' cuz our hearts are beginning to meet here on this post...we are beginning to sympathize with the opposite gender...don't you think? and that's what its all about. THE SONG OF DIVINE INVITATION
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11/12/2006 7:02 am |
what r u talkin' about, HUN, you didn't kill nuthin' keep discussin' cuz our hearts are beginning to meet here on this post...we are beginning to sympathize with the opposite gender...don't you think? and that's what its all about. ...and such a blessing too!
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11/12/2006 7:11 am |
you Godly master degree girls are so smart and wise ...and such a blessing too!and His wisdom is evident in you as well. THE SONG OF DIVINE INVITATION
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11/12/2006 8:17 am |
brotha, U B one that has the Master's Degree as well... and His wisdom is evident in you as well.
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11/12/2006 9:29 am |
Hey Cecilia ALL's WELL DEAR LADY everyone sees things diferently and I guess some are more sensitive to others about topics......We are one Family and that is in CHRIST so lets just HUG and LOVE eachother again Blessings always Chris xoxoxoxooxoxMatthew 18:6 But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/12/2006 9:36 am |
what r u talkin' about, HUN, you didn't kill nuthin' keep discussin' cuz our hearts are beginning to meet here on this post...we are beginning to sympathize with the opposite gender...don't you think? and that's what its all about. And, Duncan, please don't leave the discussion, as Helene asks. I do feel that hearts are being opened here, and you are a treasure chest of wisdom that I know will be beneficial to us all. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/12/2006 12:18 pm |
Cecilia - thanks so much for doing this post and bless all of you who are participating in it! I've been trying to keep current reading this, but haven't had time to comment myself. It's not something you can comment on in 5 or 10 minutes. It reminds me of Caro's blog on men and women and how much I learned from that one. We all come from different circumstances and to be "allowed in" to one another's feelings on such a sensitive topic is a privilege and a blessing. Hopefully we can learn from each other - Love you guys
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11/12/2006 12:50 pm |
and if anyone needs help sending replies to sweaty Ghaninianian men who wink at you, I have an armoury full of deflectors hehehe ~ contending for the truth ~ ...eli...
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11/12/2006 1:12 pm |
Cecilia - thanks so much for doing this post and bless all of you who are participating in it! I've been trying to keep current reading this, but haven't had time to comment myself. It's not something you can comment on in 5 or 10 minutes. It reminds me of Caro's blog on men and women and how much I learned from that one. We all come from different circumstances and to be "allowed in" to one another's feelings on such a sensitive topic is a privilege and a blessing. Hopefully we can learn from each other - Love you guys Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/12/2006 1:16 pm |
and if anyone needs help sending replies to sweaty Ghaninianian men who wink at you, I have an armoury full of deflectors hehehe You lighten my heart in such a special way, sis. I think we should declare you one of the "Great Wonders of the World", you are so awesome, you Dim-witted Blonde Goddess, you!!!!! Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/12/2006 1:54 pm |
what r u talkin' about, HUN, you didn't kill nuthin' keep discussin' cuz our hearts are beginning to meet here on this post...we are beginning to sympathize with the opposite gender...don't you think? and that's what its all about. but we also need lots of their sympathy too....I am reading that book entitled "wild at heart" about the guys....good book.
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11/12/2006 2:52 pm |
HI REDBIRD! I REALLY LIKED YOUR ORIGINAL POST, VERY WELL SAID,MOST OF US DONT HAVE THE NERVE TO DO IT, BUT MABE IT WILL HELP US BECOME A LITTLE BIT BRAVER. BUT I WILL BE STAYING IN SAN ANTONIO FOR NOW, UNFORTUNATELY CORPUS DOES NOT HAVE AS STRONG OF AN ECONOMY AS I HAD HOPED,HOWEVER,I AM PRESENTLY LOOKING IN TO THE POSSIBILITY OF MOVING TO SAN FRANCISCO,MY GOOD FRIEND LILA (YAYA)IS HELPING ME LOOK AT THAT POSSIBILITY. WE'LL SEE WERE THE LORD LEADS GBU MARCOS
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11/12/2006 2:54 pm |
"I am reading that book entitled "wild at heart" about the guys....good book." We are passing that book around in our Sunday School class (about 20 ladies in our class) - I should be getting it pretty soon - can't wait - have heard good things about it
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11/12/2006 2:57 pm |
Girl, you just don't know how much I needed to smile! You lighten my heart in such a special way, sis. I think we should declare you one of the "Great Wonders of the World", you are so awesome, you Dim-witted Blonde Goddess, you!!!!!
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11/12/2006 6:32 pm |
Girl, you just don't know how much I needed to smile! You lighten my heart in such a special way, sis. I think we should declare you one of the "Great Wonders of the World", you are so awesome, you Dim-witted Blonde Goddess, you!!!!! thanks Cecilia. God bless you and keep you. You are beautiful. ~ contending for the truth ~ ...eli...
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11/13/2006 1:26 am |
Hi Cecilia...this post is still going...coming in late as usual...it does take effort and time even if there are sparks both sides...to give it a go...and halfway it can even evantuate in parting of ways...it can be quite daunting...the initial step of going beyond blogs and onto emails and phone calls....some people find it easy enough and some find it hard...there are always those who are shy and quieter...even among the men/brothers...relationships are a time of discovery...hey we have to get past the friendship stage first?? even learning how to be friends and whether people will accept you for who you are or there are clicks around and it is hard to get in etc... One best thing is to be yourself and not what you think what others want you to be....and keep trusting in the Lord to know our needs and desires....HE WILL ALWAYS GIVE US THE BEST! haha not exhaustive for sure....just some thots... Thanks for the post... Man can make many plans...BUT it is the Lord who will direct his paths....
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11/13/2006 2:17 am |
Hi Cecilia... this post is still going...coming in late as usual...it does take effort and time even if there are sparks both sides...to give it a go...and halfway it can even evantuate in parting of ways...it can be quite daunting...the initial step of going beyond blogs and onto emails and phone calls....some people find it easy enough and some find it hard...there are always those who are shy and quieter...even among the men/brothers...relationships are a time of discovery...hey we have to get past the friendship stage first?? even learning how to be friends and whether people will accept you for who you are or there are clicks around and it is hard to get in etc...One best thing is to be yourself and not what you think what others want you to be....and keep trusting in the Lord to know our needs and desires....HE WILL ALWAYS GIVE US THE BEST! haha not exhaustive for sure....just some thots... Thanks for the post... It's true that friendship is the first stage, accepting one another as who they are now, where they are now. Sometimes that is the biggest step because some have a problem accepting themselves which hinders others from accepting them. As far as clicks go, that is something I wished didn't exist here, yet I know that in my heart that it does. Mainly it is because of the differences in the way people interpret what the word says. Such a sad thing for the body of Christ to have so much division. But the main thing is that we make every effort to break down the walls that we have built up within ourselves that prevent us from having the relationships that God wishes for us to have, whether it be with that special someone, our brother's and sister's, or with our Father Himself. It's all about growing into what He desire's for us to become in Him. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/13/2006 3:02 am |
Bruce, i addressed you very early on in this blog...but would just like to re-address that here if i may. reading all the statements from you guys here i realize how intimidating this has been for y'all. I respect that you guys have chosen to come and interact with us. The statements that i made there were a more generic 'you' and not personally aimed at just you...especially since you are relatively new here...however, in the short time, i have learned to respect you, to value you and your input here very much. Please don't let a couple of bad experiences chase you away. We ( really need you here on the blogs. I for one appreciate you alot...and consider you a friend. I’m fine now, just had to let off some steam~!!!
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11/13/2006 3:25 am |
O that’s okay Hellen I was just having a moment myself – sorry! I’m fine now, just had to let off some steam~!!! Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/13/2006 7:22 am |
O that’s okay Hellen I was just having a moment myself – sorry! I’m fine now, just had to let off some steam~!!! THE SONG OF DIVINE INVITATION
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11/13/2006 7:20 pm |
Wow........... what a discussion..... I just read the whole thing from the beginning.... and I think I am getting a headache..... not from what was said.... but from the intense emotional energy which I felt in the dialogs. If there are things that you always wanted to ask about men in general.. I am sure myself and the other guys will give it our best shot at answering them....... Hey guys.....I just put us out there!!!!!
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11/13/2006 7:49 pm |
Wow........... what a discussion..... I just read the whole thing from the beginning.... and I think I am getting a headache..... not from what was said.... but from the intense emotional energy which I felt in the dialogs. If there are things that you always wanted to ask about men in general.. I am sure myself and the other guys will give it our best shot at answering them....... Hey guys.....I just put us out there!!!!! Basically, we are just trying to discuss the fears that keep us all (of both genders) from trusting others of the other gender after a failed relationship and heartbreak. Also, how we might be able to help one another to discuss these fears and overcome them. We would gladly welcome any input you may have to add. I see that you may be fairly new by the number of posts that you have made and want to let you know that you will find many wonderful siblings in the Lord here. I'm sure I speak for many of us when I say that we hope you will soon feel at home here and a part of the family. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/13/2006 8:40 pm |
Thank you very much.... any questions about men? Wait a moment. I just thought about "wolves in sheep clothing".... Lets face it... BC is full of God's children who are hurting and aching for their (un-found) rib... for the unison of flesh and soul in holiness before our Creator. To want to love and be loved is at the pinnacle of our fiber as human beings. Yes we have God's love, but as God's creatures (who made us with these desires) we desire union with another person of the opposite \bsexo?\b ("It is not good for man to be alone"...). The frustration, heart ache, and sometimes anger comes when these needs, desires, wishes are unfulfilled. As far as why the men or women on BC don't take the chance to make the connection... I do not know. I have my theories.. but is is all psychobabble. I do know that from my past experience the following scenario often occurs. I will like someone, but she does not feel the same way about me. I wine about it. At the same time, or shortly after someone will like me, but I don't feel the same way because I am still focused on the first attraction. (I have to giggle here because I think that God has a fantastic sense of humor.... pointing out to me, at least, that I am, in fact lovable....just not always by the person whom I want to love me.)
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11/13/2006 10:07 pm |
Thank you very much.... any questions about men? Wait a moment. I just thought about "wolves in sheep clothing".... Lets face it... BC is full of God's children who are hurting and aching for their (un-found) rib... for the unison of flesh and soul in holiness before our Creator. To want to love and be loved is at the pinnacle of our fiber as human beings. Yes we have God's love, but as God's creatures (who made us with these desires) we desire union with another person of the opposite \bsexo?\b ("It is not good for man to be alone"...). The frustration, heart ache, and sometimes anger comes when these needs, desires, wishes are unfulfilled. As far as why the men or women on BC don't take the chance to make the connection... I do not know. I have my theories.. but is is all psychobabble. I do know that from my past experience the following scenario often occurs. I will like someone, but she does not feel the same way about me. I wine about it. At the same time, or shortly after someone will like me, but I don't feel the same way because I am still focused on the first attraction. (I have to giggle here because I think that God has a fantastic sense of humor.... pointing out to me, at least, that I am, in fact lovable....just not always by the person whom I want to love me.) I agree completely about us being created to be a unit, at least some of us, at some point in our lives. But I think that I am beginning to believe that not all are called to marriage or remarriage. And that creates new mountains to overcome. One of my wonderful sister's in Christ shared some information on a very good book about just this topic with me just recently. It's called "The Single Truth" by Lori Smith. There is a web-site by that name where one can read a couple of the chapters from the book as well as some articles she wrote. As for your theories being psychobabble, welcome to the family and speak on up. We would be glad to hear your opinion's. Most of us are pretty good about allowing the Holy Spirit guide us in sifting the wheat from the chaff of whatever anyone posts here. Taking what is intended for us and leaving that which is not. When it comes to God having to have a great sense of humor, I have always agreed with Mike Warnke in that area. He is a Christian comedian that I have been listening to since back in the 70's. He says that God has to have a wonderful sense of humor, after all, look who His children are. It is good to know that one is lovable and I rejoice with you that you have that reassurance. Now, as you say, if you just get your lovability and lovingness coordinated you have it made. I pray that this is in God's will for you. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/14/2006 5:43 am |
Rod, you are such a sweetheart! I guess the biggest problem is that I use myself as an example to try to get a point across and some take it, well, wrong. As in this case, I just stated that I had noticed some of the fella's from here in the blogs had visited my profile. I'm sure they have visited others as well. I wasn't trying to sound as if I were offended because they didn't wink or e-mail me. I had just wondered about it, especially when I see them here in the blogs acting quite open and flirty. I don't really think that any of us take you guy's "innocent flirting" wrong. I do think that we sometimes wonder if there isn't something more behind it that you just aren't saying, and if so, why. Then it dawned on me what the problem could be but I never said anything until this post. That day I had been catching up on reading a lot of the blogs here and I had noticed some things that had been said by some of the other women here, and with what had just occurred to me it just all came tumbling out, not in the best way I suppose, but with the best intentions. As for us hinting to you guys, how would you suggest we do that? Most of the time I notice that the girls flirt right back at you guys. So what would let you know that they are interested without them coming right out and saying so? Maybe you could do a poll on this next, you goober!!!! [post 52968] Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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11/14/2006 11:04 am |
TEXAS!.. girl why would anyone want to live in Texas?.. Texas is HOT, and there are only queers and steers in that god forsaken land.. lol Michigan is where all the REAL men live... lol .. remember in Michigan we have all four seasons, and sometimes in the same day.. lol It is HOT in Texas! But there's some good stuff here! Like..... ...... Like...... Just Kiddin'! There are some terrible living conditions here in Texas, at times, but the people here make all the difference! For example, there are wonderful ladies I have met here at BC from Texas. I'd love to meet them in person someday!
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11/14/2006 11:05 am |
lol...... wellllll...... I MIGHT be moving to the good ol USA.... 'one day' if it be Gods will but I cant find Michigan on the map... I see Texas though !!! Hey Rod, I know some beautiful women in Aussieland that would love your presence here Come on over, hun! We'd love to have ya! P.S. Call me when you get in, we'll go have some fun!
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11/14/2006 2:56 pm |
Eli, Come on over, hun! We'd love to have ya! P.S. Call me when you get in, we'll go have some fun! Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/14/2006 4:47 pm |
Girl, are you a Texan too? Alright, time for a new post. Gonna find out who all is from around here since I can't do a lot of searches and such as a standard member. You bet'cha! Just a little ways out from Abilene on I-20. I tried to have a post like the one you're suggesting once and it didn't go too far. I'm sure you'll have better luck than I did!  I'll be watching to put my name on the list!
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11/14/2006 7:32 pm |
Hey.... where are we in this discussion? Are we still talking about how men on BC are not very keen and receptive to you women? Or is the subject on what women have always wanted to know about men from a man's unabridged perspective?....OR..... (And don't any of you say: "Yep, thats a therapist alright...always trying to not let us digress but rather to keep us on track....
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11/14/2006 10:06 pm |
Hey.... where are we in this discussion? Are we still talking about how men on BC are not very keen and receptive to you women? Or is the subject on what women have always wanted to know about men from a man's unabridged perspective?....OR..... (And don't any of you say: "Yep, thats a therapist alright...always trying to not let us digress but rather to keep us on track.... "Let's Have Group"!!!!!! You can be the facilitator, ok? We could start off by going around the group and asking how everyone is FEELING first....
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11/14/2006 10:44 pm |
You guys are too much, LOL I agree with Redbird, I would feel totally uncomfortable taking the initiative in meeting a man - but as I am not ready yet - thats not a factor. But it is nice talking to men and getting their perspective. You know, communication. I would really have to talk to someone alot and really get to know them before any type of meeting. I am not going through it again. If, or even when I were to get involved its going to be married till death, you know everything God says marriage is suppose to be. And it is easier to talk to people on the blogs, much easier to let more of myself show - my problem is I probably put too much of myself out there and I am too honest. Can you be too honest???? Thanks for your post - You spoke for a lot of us Nance
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11/14/2006 11:20 pm |
Girl, are you a Texan too? Alright, time for a new post. Gonna find out who all is from around here since I can't do a lot of searches and such as a standard member. ....but i hope as you can tell from my picture that i'm no girl!..so does that count?
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11/14/2006 11:25 pm |
i lived in el paso tx when i was about 3 years old for a couple of years ....but i hope as you can tell from my picture that i'm no girl!..so does that count?
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11/15/2006 7:08 am |
Hey Duncan... my great grandmother used to wander all over the place... the police were always bringing her back to the retirement home.... but you are a little young to be in that process already. On another subject, how many of you have heard or read about "mid-life crisis"? Allegedly, this is supposed to occur between the ages of 35 - 50 years of age when, all of a sudden one day you wake up and realize that almost half or more of your life is now over on this planet earth, and you begin to freak out. You begin to review your life thus far and take an inventory of yourself...You may think or say things like: Do I like what I have done with myself thus far? What about all the things I wanted to do and places that I wanted to go when I was younger and have not gotten around to it yet? Do I like whee I live? Do I like who I am with? Do I like where I work and what I am doing for a living? Do I like the person I see in the mirror who looks 20 years older than what I feel like inside? What have I done (or not done) for God and ministry, and what am I supposed to do for Him before I get too old or complacent to do it? Piggybacking on this is the "empty nest syndrome" where the children have left (or the last child is about to leave)and you have invested your past 20 years being a parent and define your role in life as that ...and now they don't need you like they once did. This ofter created what is termed an "identity crisis". I help people look at this experience as a time to begin a new adventure... where you can be used in ministry more than ever and to use those ca retaking qualities (once centered around your children)to begin to take care of and minister to people your church congregation. So.... What do you guys think about this? .... or is this really just a bunch of psychobabble?
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11/15/2006 7:30 am |
I forgot to add how this connects to our topics.... men and women do go through these "phases" a little differently. However, there is this part in the phase where you may be saying to yourself: "Eek...time is running out and I have not found my partner yet... If I don't find him/her soon, then maybe I never will....and then what?" What do you think?
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11/15/2006 7:44 am |
Hey Duncan... my great grandmother used to wander all over the place... the police were always bringing her back to the retirement home.... but you are a little young to be in that process already. On another subject, how many of you have heard or read about "mid-life crisis"? Allegedly, this is supposed to occur between the ages of 35 - 50 years of age when, all of a sudden one day you wake up and realize that almost half or more of your life is now over on this planet earth, and you begin to freak out. You begin to review your life thus far and take an inventory of yourself...You may think or say things like: Do I like what I have done with myself thus far? What about all the things I wanted to do and places that I wanted to go when I was younger and have not gotten around to it yet? Do I like whee I live? Do I like who I am with? Do I like where I work and what I am doing for a living? Do I like the person I see in the mirror who looks 20 years older than what I feel like inside? What have I done (or not done) for God and ministry, and what am I supposed to do for Him before I get too old or complacent to do it? Piggybacking on this is the "empty nest syndrome" where the children have left (or the last child is about to leave)and you have invested your past 20 years being a parent and define your role in life as that ...and now they don't need you like they once did. This ofter created what is termed an "identity crisis". I help people look at this experience as a time to begin a new adventure... where you can be used in ministry more than ever and to use those ca retaking qualities (once centered around your children)to begin to take care of and minister to people your church congregation. So.... What do you guys think about this? .... or is this really just a bunch of psychobabble?
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11/15/2006 8:07 am |
Hey.... where are we in this discussion? Are we still talking about how men on BC are not very keen and receptive to you women? Or is the subject on what women have always wanted to know about men from a man's unabridged perspective?....OR..... (And don't any of you say: "Yep, thats a therapist alright...always trying to not let us digress but rather to keep us on track.... It seems to me that women have an intrinsic nature to recover more quickly than men do. Or perhaps it is that women are more dependent then men are. I know that I was raised to believe that a woman without a man was like a fish out of water, unable to survive. So maybe we tend to feel more inclined to get back into relationship then men do. Thanks for helping us keep on subject. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/15/2006 8:08 am |
You bet'cha! Just a little ways out from Abilene on I-20. I tried to have a post like the one you're suggesting once and it didn't go too far. I'm sure you'll have better luck than I did! I'll be watching to put my name on the list! Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/15/2006 1:07 pm |
No, not at all....much truth in this.....perhaps this is the way that God ordained it? I mean, look at Moses...perahaps he went through his midlife crisis some timte after leaving Egypt the first time? Yes, and then God visited him in that burning bush...
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11/15/2006 1:13 pm |
Hey Duncan... my great grandmother used to wander all over the place... the police were always bringing her back to the retirement home.... but you are a little young to be in that process already. On another subject, how many of you have heard or read about "mid-life crisis"? Allegedly, this is supposed to occur between the ages of 35 - 50 years of age when, all of a sudden one day you wake up and realize that almost half or more of your life is now over on this planet earth, and you begin to freak out. You begin to review your life thus far and take an inventory of yourself...You may think or say things like: Do I like what I have done with myself thus far? What about all the things I wanted to do and places that I wanted to go when I was younger and have not gotten around to it yet? Do I like whee I live? Do I like who I am with? Do I like where I work and what I am doing for a living? Do I like the person I see in the mirror who looks 20 years older than what I feel like inside? What have I done (or not done) for God and ministry, and what am I supposed to do for Him before I get too old or complacent to do it? Piggybacking on this is the "empty nest syndrome" where the children have left (or the last child is about to leave)and you have invested your past 20 years being a parent and define your role in life as that ...and now they don't need you like they once did. This ofter created what is termed an "identity crisis". I help people look at this experience as a time to begin a new adventure... where you can be used in ministry more than ever and to use those ca retaking qualities (once centered around your children)to begin to take care of and minister to people your church congregation. So.... What do you guys think about this? .... or is this really just a bunch of psychobabble?
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11/15/2006 2:07 pm |
Hey, now I've got a good idea,.... "Let's Have Group"!!!!!! You can be the facilitator, ok? We could start off by going around the group and asking how everyone is FEELING first.... Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/15/2006 2:13 pm |
You guys are too much, LOL I agree with Redbird, I would feel totally uncomfortable taking the initiative in meeting a man - but as I am not ready yet - thats not a factor. But it is nice talking to men and getting their perspective. You know, communication. I would really have to talk to someone alot and really get to know them before any type of meeting. I am not going through it again. If, or even when I were to get involved its going to be married till death, you know everything God says marriage is suppose to be. And it is easier to talk to people on the blogs, much easier to let more of myself show - my problem is I probably put too much of myself out there and I am too honest. Can you be too honest???? Thanks for your post - You spoke for a lot of us Nance Thanks for joining the discussion. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/15/2006 2:35 pm |
Hey Duncan... my great grandmother used to wander all over the place... the police were always bringing her back to the retirement home.... but you are a little young to be in that process already. On another subject, how many of you have heard or read about "mid-life crisis"? Allegedly, this is supposed to occur between the ages of 35 - 50 years of age when, all of a sudden one day you wake up and realize that almost half or more of your life is now over on this planet earth, and you begin to freak out. You begin to review your life thus far and take an inventory of yourself...You may think or say things like: Do I like what I have done with myself thus far? What about all the things I wanted to do and places that I wanted to go when I was younger and have not gotten around to it yet? Do I like whee I live? Do I like who I am with? Do I like where I work and what I am doing for a living? Do I like the person I see in the mirror who looks 20 years older than what I feel like inside? What have I done (or not done) for God and ministry, and what am I supposed to do for Him before I get too old or complacent to do it? Piggybacking on this is the "empty nest syndrome" where the children have left (or the last child is about to leave)and you have invested your past 20 years being a parent and define your role in life as that ...and now they don't need you like they once did. This ofter created what is termed an "identity crisis". I help people look at this experience as a time to begin a new adventure... where you can be used in ministry more than ever and to use those ca retaking qualities (once centered around your children)to begin to take care of and minister to people your church congregation. So.... What do you guys think about this? .... or is this really just a bunch of psychobabble? And talk about identity crisis, I know about that as well. I was always someone's daughter, sister, wife, mother, grandmother, aunt before. But for the past 5 years I haven't had any of those identity's on a daily basis as I had grown accustomed to having for the previous 44 years. And I had no other identity to take their place. It was like being dropped in the middle of the ocean to sink or swim with not even a piece of flotsom to hold to. Fortunately, I am a good swimmer, because I know the creator of that ocean and He made me one and has given me the strength to endure. And as I have swam, He has placed bits and pieces of materials in my way with which I have been able to piece together who I am, just me. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/15/2006 8:26 pm |
While we are on this subject, can anyone direct me to the link for Suppabubba? He had started a whole slew of posts about all the fakes here on BC, I wanted to post about it again, for the newbies here......anyone? Duncy? do you happen to know where that is at? I can't seem to find it here....
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11/15/2006 8:58 pm |
I remember my first semester as a freshman at Taylor University (a Christian liberal arts college in Upland, Indiana), I was in s sociology 101 class. The professor made us do at least a paper at least three pages long on the topic "Who am I?". Well I listed that I was male, a son, a brother, a Christian, a Californian, etc.. After completing the list of "roles" or "persona's" that explained who I was, I was left with an uneasiness..."But wait.. I am more than these things..." ...I think this was what the professor was getting at. How do we define ourselves?
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11/15/2006 9:47 pm |
Sometimes, it takes us a lifetime I think, to define ourselves....but once we begin to understand who we are in Christ, it puts an entire new perspective on it, we don't look at ourselves the way the WORLD looks at us, with humanism, etc, but we look at ourselves the way that Christ looks at us and since we are in HIM, well, we are not our own, we are bought with a price.
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11/15/2006 9:50 pm |
How do we define ourselves? How can I answer this question ? Im changing each and everyday !!!
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11/15/2006 10:12 pm |
I totally agree. Our definition of ourselves and who we are as persons is defined by our relationship with/in Jesus Christ. Whether we feel very close to Him or whether we feel He is stargates away from us...HE IS OUR REALITY AND THE BASIS OF OUR REALITY. So the question to all of us who are believers is: "Are we walking and breathing in the reality of our existence as 'a new creation' or are we in some way holding on to some dimension of the fallen world?"
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11/15/2006 10:31 pm |
Hey... Where are the rest of you? Do I need to get back on track?
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11/16/2006 7:11 am |
While we are on this subject, can anyone direct me to the link for Suppabubba? He had started a whole slew of posts about all the fakes here on BC, I wanted to post about it again, for the newbies here......anyone? Duncy? do you happen to know where that is at? I can't seem to find it here.... Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/16/2006 7:18 am |
I totally agree. Our definition of ourselves and who we are as persons is defined by our relationship with/in Jesus Christ. Whether we feel very close to Him or whether we feel He is stargates away from us...HE IS OUR REALITY AND THE BASIS OF OUR REALITY. So the question to all of us who are believers is: "Are we walking and breathing in the reality of our existence as 'a new creation' or are we in some way holding on to some dimension of the fallen world?" As for getting off track, no, I actually think this is part and parcel of the topic. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/16/2006 9:06 am |
and daily what God requires of us changes and we must be flexible in God, I trust
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11/16/2006 7:52 pm |
Okay... So I'm a Johnny Come Lately... Can I respond to the original subject at this point please? Thanks! Maybe I can just tell my story. I was on another personals site briefly and as part of the "report" after taking the personality test they said that if I went on a hundred dates at random, 40 women would be attracted to me, I would be attracted to 30 women, and the feeling would be mutual in.... 4 cases. Yep, just 4 percent. I have no idea how they came up with that, but that's their "scientific" assessment. Personally, I'm learning more and more to wait on God and that there's no hurry. Shortly after my wife left I felt a need to rush to find someone. Now, almost three years later, God has taught me that he's in charge and also that I'm most likely in need of some more healing and growth before going beyond friendships with anyone. Even so, so far I've written to many ladies on BC and on another site who have not written back or are clearly not interested. I have met five in person and talked with a couple others on the phone. I think it was Duncan who said the spark should fly both ways if it's going to work. If I see a photo and/or read a profile and I feel an interest, I'll write. If she doesn't write back or is otherwise clear she's not interested, that's okay. I guess the gist of the original post is that the ladies think that too many men are either wolves or wimps. I'm much closer to the wimp category, but I do believe I'm putting myself out there - and I doubt I'm the only one. It's just the 4% thing - or more likely - the "finding God's will" thing that's probably going to take some time. On the point of the women not feeling they should make first contact, after reading someone else mention that somewhere a while back I realized I needed to write more often. So, I've taken that risk. However, I'm not sure where that idea comes from. Is it biblical? I'm not really challenging that, but I'd like to know. I like old-fashioned values too. On the other hand, the woman I have become closest to so far is someone who contacted me first. I'm sure there's a lot more to respond to, but I've gone on long enough for now. Let's pray and keep the faith that God will provide the best in His good timing. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness..." Matt 6:33.
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11/16/2006 9:42 pm |
Okay... So I'm a Johnny Come Lately... Can I respond to the original subject at this point please? Thanks! Maybe I can just tell my story. I was on another personals site briefly and as part of the "report" after taking the personality test they said that if I went on a hundred dates at random, 40 women would be attracted to me, I would be attracted to 30 women, and the feeling would be mutual in.... 4 cases. Yep, just 4 percent. I have no idea how they came up with that, but that's their "scientific" assessment. Personally, I'm learning more and more to wait on God and that there's no hurry. Shortly after my wife left I felt a need to rush to find someone. Now, almost three years later, God has taught me that he's in charge and also that I'm most likely in need of some more healing and growth before going beyond friendships with anyone. Even so, so far I've written to many ladies on BC and on another site who have not written back or are clearly not interested. I have met five in person and talked with a couple others on the phone. I think it was Duncan who said the spark should fly both ways if it's going to work. If I see a photo and/or read a profile and I feel an interest, I'll write. If she doesn't write back or is otherwise clear she's not interested, that's okay. I guess the gist of the original post is that the ladies think that too many men are either wolves or wimps. I'm much closer to the wimp category, but I do believe I'm putting myself out there - and I doubt I'm the only one. It's just the 4% thing - or more likely - the "finding God's will" thing that's probably going to take some time. On the point of the women not feeling they should make first contact, after reading someone else mention that somewhere a while back I realized I needed to write more often. So, I've taken that risk. However, I'm not sure where that idea comes from. Is it biblical? I'm not really challenging that, but I'd like to know. I like old-fashioned values too. On the other hand, the woman I have become closest to so far is someone who contacted me first. I'm sure there's a lot more to respond to, but I've gone on long enough for now. Let's pray and keep the faith that God will provide the best in His good timing. I have also been thinking about several other facts that make things difficult on this site as well as others I imagine. 1.) Many people join but either can't afford to pay for membership or don't want to spend the money which prevents them from accessing the profiles of possible matches. Therefore they really haven't a clue of who they are looking at. 2.) Those who do have access to the profiles are often met with profiles that are only partially filled out and what is filled out is vague as to what the other person is really looking for. People, in a effort to sell themselves will withhold the complete truth about who they are and what they really want, what they will or will not accept in another. For instance, many here that I have looked at will mark "tell you later" on smoking and drinking for themselves and for potential matches. Now I smoke, have since I was 8 years old and I will have a drink maybe two or three times a year. I can live without the drinks. But I can't help but wonder if these are the things that are keeping folks from looking at me more seriously, even though they may or may not smoke and drink themselves. Double standard? Who knows? Could be it's something else entirely, but how is a person to know if we aren't honest in our profiles? 3.)Have we even been honest with ourselves in our profiles? Have we been realistic as to what we are looking for in a match for ourselves? I mean, seriously, is it realistic for a 50 year old or older to be looking for someone in their 20's? I realize that most likely those who have that sort of thing in their profile are not truly Christian people and are probably just predators using this site for their own goals. But if there are any of us who are true Christians that have that sort of things in their profile, we need to do some soul-searching and make the appropriate changes. Granted we all would like to have the fantasy mate but we don't live in a fantasy world, we live in a real world and God expects us to keep our feet on the ground and our heads out of the clouds, for the time being anyway. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/17/2006 1:08 am |
I couldn't sleep last night that much, because i have been serving the lord faithfully and went througha divorce where she left me and I counselled for 2 years with my Pastor, Finally i accepted and moved on. I am still having trouble trusting. I felr I lost everything I worked so hard for , themn realized that material things are just future ashes. What last is souls and what we do for Him. I am enjoying raising my Daughter alone. Although difficult alot of wonderful ladies on BC have showed me things I could have never read in a book. I am gonna stilll seek god and blog and fellowship,but I won't make that committment unless I am sure. i really believe he can giv eus peace. I recently felt like opening up and sharing a little bit of my wounded heart and really had some interesting conversations. i really don't know how it got started and elevated to e-mailin writing. In the meantime I was taking care of my Uncle living with me. He had nurses but he still depended on me occassionally. i got caught up enjoying our conversations, reaslizing after we thought about meeting. i just didn't get scared feet i started having difficulty with my focus. I was amazed at all the obstacles that where coming my way like never had I experienced these type of distractioons. I came to BC to meet Friends and fellowship, because I need renewal inmy spiritand encouraging that there are really wonderful Godly one Man women to help me believe that love can pass my way, but i made the mistake of closing my eyes and expecting God to eventually introduce me to my future wife locally. I know talk about thinking inside the Box. I know God can do anything and he 'll do what he wants to. Imhave to agree with you Cecilia that we need to stp up to the plate . Imguess some are at different levels dealing with the past. i am repenting of anything i did to mess with anyones head. i am not and never have even understood the reasoning behind playing Women. If we are followers of Christ that is the last thing we should be doing. i think sometimes a man can enjoy talking to a nice lady and leave it at that and the lady may be thinking more. Here me out I am only making a observation. I didnm't say I was right. I am guilty of really wanting God to move in my life and I can have a Godly conversationand want to meet her and really believe all i am going to do is meet and I am kinda chicken .If i were to feel led to go a distant mile, My Pastor or some other leaders are coming with me and after everything goes well they can fly back. that is just being cautios. My point is it really wrong to plan to go meet someone for fellowship and maybe more and decide that after circumstances are popping up and deterring your plans and after a while you both starting arguing about the misunderstanding and even if you don't have that faith that God will work it out, you still want to be doubly sure, especially since it was the last thing onyour mind. I am not reallly sure about all his answers I do know that God willl equkp Godly men , but we all need top be in prayer about these things. i mean really spending alot in prayer. We can make a mistake I feel by meeting as well, correct me if I am wrong, but It might get the other emotionally attached and then it will make things worse. I really believe that sometimes it may take a month some a year. However long, you'll both know and if one is stronger emotionally involved pleaee don't call the other passive person a player. They just feel that they aren't completely sure and they need a little more time or want to work a few other things out, because when somone can't acccept that the other won't relax and see what God may be up to. They can both easily get hurt, meaning if they never met but belkieved in their heart that they wanted to , not sure if it wasrthe Lord's willl and they started arguing and bickering over the delay, better yet started getting into arguing matches through e-mail. i can see noithing but strife in this relationship. it would seem to me whether any one got hurt or not wouldn't be relevant compared to the future hurt that would transcribeafter they still couldn't see eye to eye. They say opposites attract. i am not all sure that is scripture, but it could be close. We got to as believers stop trying to go about this looking for a mate the world does , by dating every one that comes along they can have a intellectal spirital conversation with. We need to be focused ion spreading the good News Like He commanded and seking his will and His glory and I believe nothing they can or cannot do will interrupt his plans for them to meet and make that lifetime covenant with one another. Marriage I believe is evident in the relatiohship long before they go to the alter, becaue the Lord will confirm it with both individuals and not just one of them. I believe that controilling one or placing pressure can be devasting especially when we have children. it is a different ball game thannonre one who has more time on thee hands. We have our responsibility for their safety and also knowing that they will be envolved with this person as well.
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11/17/2006 1:28 am |
I couldn't sleep last night that much, because I have been serving the lord faithfully and went through divorce where she left me and I counselled for 2 years with my Pastor, Finally I accepted and moved on.Anyway this very subject has been haunting and we all really need to get peace about rushing God. I am still having trouble trusting. I felr I lost everything I worked so hard for , themn realized that material things are just future ashes. What last is souls and what we do for Him. I am enjoying raising my Daughter alone. Although difficult alot of wonderful ladies on BC have showed me things I could have never read in a book. I am gonna stilll seek god and blog and fellowship,but I won't make that committment unless I am sure. i really believe he can giv us peace. I recently felt like opening up and sharing a little bit of my wounded heart and really had some interesting conversations. i really don't know how it got started and elevated to e-mailin writing. In the meantime I was taking care of my Uncle living with me. He had nurses but he still depended on me occassionally. i got caught up enjoying our conversations, reaslizing after we thought about meeting. I just didn't get scared feet i started having difficulty with my focus. I was amazed at all the obstacles that where coming my way like never had I experienced these type of distractioons. I came to BC to meet Friends and fellowship, because I need renewal inmy spiritand encouraging that there are really wonderful Godly one Man women to help me believe that love can pass my way, but i made the mistake of closing my eyes and expecting God to eventually introduce me to my future wife locally. I know talk about thinking inside the Box. I know God can do anything and he 'll do what he wants to. Imhave to agree with you Cecilia that we need to stp up to the plate . Imguess some are at different levels dealing with the past. i am repenting of anything i did to mess with anyones head. i am not and never have even understood the reasoning behind playing Women. If we are followers of Christ that is the last thing we should be doing. i think sometimes a man can enjoy talking to a nice lady and leave it at that and the lady may be thinking more. Here me out I am only making a observation. I didnm't say I was right. I am guilty of really wanting God to move in my life and I can have a Godly conversationand want to meet her and really believe all i am going to do is meet and I am kinda chicken .If i were to feel led to go a distant mile, My Pastor or some other leaders are coming with me and after everything goes well they can fly back. that is just being cautios. My point is it really wrong to plan to go meet someone for fellowship and maybe more and decide that after circumstances are popping up and deterring your plans and after a while you both starting arguing about the misunderstanding and even if you don't have that faith that God will work it out, you still want to be doubly sure, especially since it was the last thing onyour mind. I am not reallly sure about all his answers I do know that God willl equkp Godly men , but we all need top be in prayer about these things. i mean really spending alot in prayer. We can make a mistake I feel by meeting as well, correct me if I am wrong, but It might get the other emotionally attached and then it will make things worse. I really believe that sometimes it may take a month some a year. However long, you'll both know and if one is stronger emotionally involved pleaee don't call the other passive person a player. They just feel that they aren't completely sure and they need a little more time or want to work a few other things out, because when somone can't acccept that the other won't relax and see what God may be up to. Is tis playing or just trying to confirm it's o.k. to move forward. i know and admit that i am not perfesct and have all the right answers, but I do have feelings also and it irritates me sometimes when somone wants to be careful andnfeels rushed, all because they talked alot about serios things people talk about. It happens. We can;t avoid it, then people get hur. Should we just all say nothing and not talk at all or share our gifts to one another becaue we don't want to come across as a player or less sensative. No we need to truly be led by His spirit first and then allow him to use our gifts to restore and build uop the body of christ.They can both easily get hurt,if they rush things ebven if it seemed like match made in Heaven. If two agree to first meet at all this is where it can get tricky , becaue now noone quite knows what is racing through the other person's mind so either one can become vulnerable and get hurt, so what does one do. Back to there prayer closet until they feel safe to come out. i really mean it it is better to be completrely sure than to have that meeting. I knoew some will disagree,but noone can control what or how the other person is going to react or feel. I feel we all play with fire sometimes by wanting to do things like the world.I know America is different than the aranged amrriages in the Middle East. How do we know that our way is the right way. We have alot of freedoms here that blindside the whole relationship thing and it allows too many emotiions to run high and somone is gonna get hurt no matter what. It still doesn't mean that the other npersonn is insensative or a player does it Lord!!! Oh I am sorry was I supopooise to keep the conversation between us all. How much we don't include the Lord in the beginning and then it is out of control. we need to include him every step of the way no matter what happens and leave it up to him to direct our footsteps , thoughts amd emotions. If they never met but believed in their heart that they wanted to if it was the Lord's will and they started arguing and bickering over the delay, better yet started getting into arguing matches through e-mail. I can see noithing but strife in this relationship. It would seem to me whether any one got hurt or not wouldn't be relevant compared to the future hurt that would transcribe after they still couldn't see eye to eye , by rushing things. I know we Men like to rationalize trhings, but us Godly Men just want what the Lord wan'ts They say opposites attract. I am not all sure that is scripture, but it could be close. We got to as believers stop trying to go about this looking for a mate the world does , by dating every one that comes along they can have a intellectal spirital conversation with. We need to be focused on spreading the good News Like He commanded and seking his will and His glory and I believe nothing they can or cannot do will interrupt his plans for them to meet and make that lifetime covenant with one another. Marriage I believe is evident in the relatiohship long before they go to the alter, becaue the Lord will confirm it with both individuals and not just one of them.[/B] I believe that controlling one or placing pressure can be devasting especially when we have children. it is a different ball game thannonre one who has more time on thee hands. We have our responsibility for their safety and also knowing that they will be envolved with this person as well.                        Stephen was definately here. Thanks for allowing mre to visit. I reallyb believe the Lord led me here.
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11/17/2006 4:30 am |
I couldn't sleep last night that much, because I have been serving the lord faithfully and went through divorce where she left me and I counselled for 2 years with my Pastor, Finally I accepted and moved on.Anyway this very subject has been haunting and we all really need to get peace about rushing God. I am still having trouble trusting. I felr I lost everything I worked so hard for , themn realized that material things are just future ashes. What last is souls and what we do for Him. I am enjoying raising my Daughter alone. Although difficult alot of wonderful ladies on BC have showed me things I could have never read in a book. I am gonna stilll seek god and blog and fellowship,but I won't make that committment unless I am sure. i really believe he can giv us peace. I recently felt like opening up and sharing a little bit of my wounded heart and really had some interesting conversations. i really don't know how it got started and elevated to e-mailin writing. In the meantime I was taking care of my Uncle living with me. He had nurses but he still depended on me occassionally. i got caught up enjoying our conversations, reaslizing after we thought about meeting. I just didn't get scared feet i started having difficulty with my focus. I was amazed at all the obstacles that where coming my way like never had I experienced these type of distractioons. I came to BC to meet Friends and fellowship, because I need renewal inmy spiritand encouraging that there are really wonderful Godly one Man women to help me believe that love can pass my way, but i made the mistake of closing my eyes and expecting God to eventually introduce me to my future wife locally. I know talk about thinking inside the Box. I know God can do anything and he 'll do what he wants to. Imhave to agree with you Cecilia that we need to stp up to the plate . Imguess some are at different levels dealing with the past. i am repenting of anything i did to mess with anyones head. i am not and never have even understood the reasoning behind playing Women. If we are followers of Christ that is the last thing we should be doing. i think sometimes a man can enjoy talking to a nice lady and leave it at that and the lady may be thinking more. Here me out I am only making a observation. I didnm't say I was right. I am guilty of really wanting God to move in my life and I can have a Godly conversationand want to meet her and really believe all i am going to do is meet and I am kinda chicken .If i were to feel led to go a distant mile, My Pastor or some other leaders are coming with me and after everything goes well they can fly back. that is just being cautios. My point is it really wrong to plan to go meet someone for fellowship and maybe more and decide that after circumstances are popping up and deterring your plans and after a while you both starting arguing about the misunderstanding and even if you don't have that faith that God will work it out, you still want to be doubly sure, especially since it was the last thing onyour mind. I am not reallly sure about all his answers I do know that God willl equkp Godly men , but we all need top be in prayer about these things. i mean really spending alot in prayer. We can make a mistake I feel by meeting as well, correct me if I am wrong, but It might get the other emotionally attached and then it will make things worse. I really believe that sometimes it may take a month some a year. However long, you'll both know and if one is stronger emotionally involved pleaee don't call the other passive person a player. They just feel that they aren't completely sure and they need a little more time or want to work a few other things out, because when somone can't acccept that the other won't relax and see what God may be up to. Is tis playing or just trying to confirm it's o.k. to move forward. i know and admit that i am not perfesct and have all the right answers, but I do have feelings also and it irritates me sometimes when somone wants to be careful andnfeels rushed, all because they talked alot about serios things people talk about. It happens. We can;t avoid it, then people get hur. Should we just all say nothing and not talk at all or share our gifts to one another becaue we don't want to come across as a player or less sensative. No we need to truly be led by His spirit first and then allow him to use our gifts to restore and build uop the body of christ.They can both easily get hurt,if they rush things ebven if it seemed like match made in Heaven. If two agree to first meet at all this is where it can get tricky , becaue now noone quite knows what is racing through the other person's mind so either one can become vulnerable and get hurt, so what does one do. Back to there prayer closet until they feel safe to come out. i really mean it it is better to be completrely sure than to have that meeting. I knoew some will disagree,but noone can control what or how the other person is going to react or feel. I feel we all play with fire sometimes by wanting to do things like the world.I know America is different than the aranged amrriages in the Middle East. How do we know that our way is the right way. We have alot of freedoms here that blindside the whole relationship thing and it allows too many emotiions to run high and somone is gonna get hurt no matter what. It still doesn't mean that the other npersonn is insensative or a player does it Lord!!! Oh I am sorry was I supopooise to keep the conversation between us all. How much we don't include the Lord in the beginning and then it is out of control. we need to include him every step of the way no matter what happens and leave it up to him to direct our footsteps , thoughts amd emotions. If they never met but believed in their heart that they wanted to if it was the Lord's will and they started arguing and bickering over the delay, better yet started getting into arguing matches through e-mail. I can see noithing but strife in this relationship. It would seem to me whether any one got hurt or not wouldn't be relevant compared to the future hurt that would transcribe after they still couldn't see eye to eye , by rushing things. I know we Men like to rationalize trhings, but us Godly Men just want what the Lord wan'ts They say opposites attract. I am not all sure that is scripture, but it could be close. We got to as believers stop trying to go about this looking for a mate the world does , by dating every one that comes along they can have a intellectal spirital conversation with. We need to be focused on spreading the good News Like He commanded and seking his will and His glory and I believe nothing they can or cannot do will interrupt his plans for them to meet and make that lifetime covenant with one another. Marriage I believe is evident in the relatiohship long before they go to the alter, becaue the Lord will confirm it with both individuals and not just one of them.[/B] I believe that controlling one or placing pressure can be devasting especially when we have children. it is a different ball game thannonre one who has more time on thee hands. We have our responsibility for their safety and also knowing that they will be envolved with this person as well. :> /:> Stephen was definately here. Thanks for allowing mre to visit. I reallyb believe the Lord led me here.
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11/17/2006 11:28 am |
I couldn't sleep last night that much, because I have been serving the lord faithfully and went through divorce where she left me and I counselled for 2 years with my Pastor, Finally I accepted and moved on.Anyway this very subject has been haunting and we all really need to get peace about rushing God. I am still having trouble trusting. I felr I lost everything I worked so hard for , themn realized that material things are just future ashes. What last is souls and what we do for Him. I am enjoying raising my Daughter alone. Although difficult alot of wonderful ladies on BC have showed me things I could have never read in a book. I am gonna stilll seek god and blog and fellowship,but I won't make that committment unless I am sure. i really believe he can giv us peace. I recently felt like opening up and sharing a little bit of my wounded heart and really had some interesting conversations. i really don't know how it got started and elevated to e-mailin writing. In the meantime I was taking care of my Uncle living with me. He had nurses but he still depended on me occassionally. i got caught up enjoying our conversations, reaslizing after we thought about meeting. I just didn't get scared feet i started having difficulty with my focus. I was amazed at all the obstacles that where coming my way like never had I experienced these type of distractioons. I came to BC to meet Friends and fellowship, because I need renewal inmy spiritand encouraging that there are really wonderful Godly one Man women to help me believe that love can pass my way, but i made the mistake of closing my eyes and expecting God to eventually introduce me to my future wife locally. I know talk about thinking inside the Box. I know God can do anything and he 'll do what he wants to. Imhave to agree with you Cecilia that we need to stp up to the plate . Imguess some are at different levels dealing with the past. i am repenting of anything i did to mess with anyones head. i am not and never have even understood the reasoning behind playing Women. If we are followers of Christ that is the last thing we should be doing. i think sometimes a man can enjoy talking to a nice lady and leave it at that and the lady may be thinking more. Here me out I am only making a observation. I didnm't say I was right. I am guilty of really wanting God to move in my life and I can have a Godly conversationand want to meet her and really believe all i am going to do is meet and I am kinda chicken .If i were to feel led to go a distant mile, My Pastor or some other leaders are coming with me and after everything goes well they can fly back. that is just being cautios. My point is it really wrong to plan to go meet someone for fellowship and maybe more and decide that after circumstances are popping up and deterring your plans and after a while you both starting arguing about the misunderstanding and even if you don't have that faith that God will work it out, you still want to be doubly sure, especially since it was the last thing onyour mind. I am not reallly sure about all his answers I do know that God willl equkp Godly men , but we all need top be in prayer about these things. i mean really spending alot in prayer. We can make a mistake I feel by meeting as well, correct me if I am wrong, but It might get the other emotionally attached and then it will make things worse. I really believe that sometimes it may take a month some a year. However long, you'll both know and if one is stronger emotionally involved pleaee don't call the other passive person a player. They just feel that they aren't completely sure and they need a little more time or want to work a few other things out, because when somone can't acccept that the other won't relax and see what God may be up to. Is tis playing or just trying to confirm it's o.k. to move forward. i know and admit that i am not perfesct and have all the right answers, but I do have feelings also and it irritates me sometimes when somone wants to be careful andnfeels rushed, all because they talked alot about serios things people talk about. It happens. We can;t avoid it, then people get hur. Should we just all say nothing and not talk at all or share our gifts to one another becaue we don't want to come across as a player or less sensative. No we need to truly be led by His spirit first and then allow him to use our gifts to restore and build uop the body of christ.They can both easily get hurt,if they rush things ebven if it seemed like match made in Heaven. If two agree to first meet at all this is where it can get tricky , becaue now noone quite knows what is racing through the other person's mind so either one can become vulnerable and get hurt, so what does one do. Back to there prayer closet until they feel safe to come out. i really mean it it is better to be completrely sure than to have that meeting. I knoew some will disagree,but noone can control what or how the other person is going to react or feel. I feel we all play with fire sometimes by wanting to do things like the world.I know America is different than the aranged amrriages in the Middle East. How do we know that our way is the right way. We have alot of freedoms here that blindside the whole relationship thing and it allows too many emotiions to run high and somone is gonna get hurt no matter what. It still doesn't mean that the other npersonn is insensative or a player does it Lord!!! Oh I am sorry was I supopooise to keep the conversation between us all. How much we don't include the Lord in the beginning and then it is out of control. we need to include him every step of the way no matter what happens and leave it up to him to direct our footsteps , thoughts amd emotions. If they never met but believed in their heart that they wanted to if it was the Lord's will and they started arguing and bickering over the delay, better yet started getting into arguing matches through e-mail. I can see noithing but strife in this relationship. It would seem to me whether any one got hurt or not wouldn't be relevant compared to the future hurt that would transcribe after they still couldn't see eye to eye , by rushing things. I know we Men like to rationalize trhings, but us Godly Men just want what the Lord wan'ts They say opposites attract. I am not all sure that is scripture, but it could be close. We got to as believers stop trying to go about this looking for a mate the world does , by dating every one that comes along they can have a intellectal spirital conversation with. We need to be focused on spreading the good News Like He commanded and seking his will and His glory and I believe nothing they can or cannot do will interrupt his plans for them to meet and make that lifetime covenant with one another. Marriage I believe is evident in the relatiohship long before they go to the alter, becaue the Lord will confirm it with both individuals and not just one of them.[/B] I believe that controlling one or placing pressure can be devasting especially when we have children. it is a different ball game thannonre one who has more time on thee hands. We have our responsibility for their safety and also knowing that they will be envolved with this person as well. :> /:> Stephen was definately here. Thanks for allowing mre to visit. I reallyb believe the Lord led me here. I agree with much of what you say here. I would only suggest that when communicating or meeting with another that you always keep your intentions, thoughts out in the open. If you are only interested in friendship at that point, make certain the other person is very clear on that. This will help to eliminate the possibility of hurt feelings and misconceptions. It is when one feels one thing but acts as though they are feeling otherwise that the problems come in. I also agree, very strongly, on what you said about those who have children at home to consider. I know that the Bible teaches that a man and women are to forsake all others for one another, BUT that was written for folks who had no children. I don't believe for one minute that a marriage partner should take precedence of one's children. Children are a very, very precious gift from God. He has placed them in their parents care and expects them to be, not just good stewards, but EXCELLENT STEWARDS of these cherished little ones. At least that is my opinion. So when choosing a new mate, one's children must be a big part of the equation, no two ways about it. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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11/18/2006 12:57 am |
Thank you. Bless you and May his love and countenance forever shine through you. Quoting FaithGirl4Him2 Sometimes we need to examine our own hearts.............and ANY woman worth her weight in Gold, will want to talk to someone's Pastor to make sure he is acting on the up and up, if he won't let a woman talk to his pastor, something is seriously wrong.....One of the pastor's told me (more than once) any man who was interested in me, would answer any questions I had of him AND would, without any hesitation whatsoever, would let me talk to his Pastor........since when does going out twice in 12 years constitute dating everyone that comes along? can you please explain that statement? I am sure some of the Godly women here want to hear that explanation too..........thanks. GBY. One should have no problem with somone meeting their Pastor. There you go again not understanding what I said. There I go again not being able to communicate or am I. I said that if they plan to meet.No problem but what if the plans have been called off. Why would you send your pastor out to see somone or call if you are no longr interested in that person. That sure is bizarre to not see that we need not get our Pastors involved with our blogging or communication unless plans have been made and a plane ticket purchased and an actual date set in gold to meet. I meen calling up and saying I will be there to see ya in aweek or a month, not i would like to come out someday or obne this day if everything works out, Do Get my point. I am too the point and so what ales me is when people read into something or take every word and make it useful to their benefit.Pastors have more important things to do with their time, unless they convey to the pastor this is somone they are definately planning on going out to meet.So lets say they talk about meeting and then plans fell through or things have been called off because of uneasy feelings after spending time with somone communicating with other measures of communication;ex. e-mails . talking on phone, letters.If one decides it probably won't work .Why this a bad thing or why does the person look like a chicken or a jerk or playin games or simply look like the scum of the earth.. Sometimes we get ahead of God becaue we are so anxious to meet somone that God will let us run on ahead and he will catch up before it happensand say not now. I really don't see the problem when God redirects one to change there mind, especially since they are not Jesus who is the only perfect person. remember the quote from our master Jesus said"He who is without sin cast the first stone"., Why is it o.k. for one person to accept one sin that doesn't look as critical or demeaning or as uncomfortable as some others and tolerate that and ridicule the other sins. For some of us, all we have to do is open our ears to gossip and if we entertain the gossip that is just as bad as murder and those who make an observation about ones communication methods or charater and lash out and practically condemn them is also just as bad as murder. I believe in loking at both sides and allthe facts before I'd get involved in somone's mountain that use to be a molehill. They say "When we are pointing a finger we have three pointing back at us"! Blessings for being so bnrave to start this type of discussion. i believe if you are a sincere Believer you can't help but allow this to upset you , because of wanting to please the lord and in doing so we are to love our brothers and Sisters and the world as well. Of course He never said anbout liking them. remain faithful your Romeo is out there...
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11/18/2006 2:40 am |
I am sorry, but I have even more trust issues, now, than I did before. This is your idea of starting over and wiping the slate clean? You did say, recently, that you are only having fun. I don't want to be involved in your idea of fun, any more. GBY tho.
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11/18/2006 3:48 pm |
Dating means after two or three months the man want to get in to \bsexo?\b. speak the truth.how many men do a woman have to date to get the right one.how long will a man date a woman when she is born again and obey God in not having \bsexo?\b.stop lying to yourselves.men who claim they are christian want to tell me about the habits they quit like smoking but no conviction about fornication and women are just as bad. when I hear that i say praise the Lord i am happy for you. The Lord brought me out of fornication first and He is still conforming me to be like Jesus. do you think i get a praise the Lord. no.you would think when you get past 40 and are saved or older you would practice what the word or God says and stop adding sins or habits that is not in the bible.i cant socialize with the religious. heretics, lost,church goers because they are practicing fornication. the lost i can talk to becasue they know they are sinners.
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11/28/2006 11:04 am |
I just joined BC last night and wow! Can't believe I didn't do this sooner. I was going it alone on the online search thing and I've come across all kinds of strange individuals. I noticed this post 'wolves in sheep's clothing' and decided to take a look at it after I did a little profile searching. To my amazement, I came across a photo of someone who contacted me about three weeks ago on another site. The person that contacted me then said they lived in Florida and gave me another name and said they were a widower with an 18 year old son. The description on the profile here had a different name, no kids and says he lives in New York. I, of course, reported this to BC. Yes ladies, beware of wolves in sheep's clothing! Like some of the ladies here said - be patient, seek God's guidance in prayer, ask Him to open your eyes, girls. Time does tell. If you do not feel peace about it, then listen to this because you know there are red flags waving at your face and you may be in denial because you want so eagerly to find the one. These wolves will tell you everything they know you want to hear! Do not be fooled because you will trip and hurt yourself. Ask lots of questions - do not be shy, it is your right! I have always been straight forward and ask lots of questions. If they can't tell me who Jesus is, or who is their favorite Bible character or their favorite Bible book, then its time to walk because the truth is not in them. There are many other things I look for too like contradictions... be very observant especially in the beginning, even in written communication. Now I don't mind conversing with someone and planting a seed, of course not. But I will not spend my precious time on a deceiver. That's why I say, if you are looking for fun and games, keep looking! ... and good luck in your shallow search. I say good luck because I don't believe in it! "Coincidentally," my very first blog is on this very subject!
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11/29/2006 2:39 am |
better late then never i guess... i have been chatting with someone from here... i think we are on the 6 or 7th phone call.. and we still have not met yet. distance is the main issue but thats okay... gives me time to listen to him, see what he's made of. Emails are critical in the beginning and getting back with some is major. Stepping out is key and I personally dont have any trouble emailing a profile that catches my eyes. but most of the time, i'll get a wink back.. maybe a "hey how ya doing" email and it's a month before there's anything else. No one can build anything with that. I think once we step out, on both sides whether male or female, we will both be on the winning teams. Yep, had my no show dates, yep wrote them off and keep looking. Found this one particular profile, and it's been calls ever since. We agreed to be friends and we will see what happens when we do meet which wont be for another 2-3 weeks. There's lots of profiles here that they have not been around for over a month or no photo... no come on! You know without a photo it's a lost cause! And yes, there are some awesome people on here. Freeman is one to name one we all know and love to look at! hehehe love ya Freeman!! I'm sure many of us would visit Australia more often but it's the gas prices... so high these days! lol we all need to lighten up, loosen the belt a bit... dont worry about how you look chewing a burger.. we all have to eat.. lets just get busy about being friends, learning and seeing that God will protect me from baddies.. and so on.... I'm up for friends, dates, meal partners, movie buddies... I'm game! I just want to live some of my life with some fun with clean people who dont require me to be a size 2 and 19 yrs old... i'm 40, proud of it.. got some padding...but I'm lovable!! Have a great day! Smile tons, laugh even more and make them wonder... so they will ask and you can say Jesus!
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11/29/2006 8:13 am |
Recently joined also and finally made my way to the blogs to see if there was any interesting/important issues about the BC site itself being discussed. You know, helpful tips, etc - things other members had already been through who were passing on thoughts and advice. This topic caught my eye for sure, as I was thinking along the same lines, wondering why it seemed there is a sparse level of contact/communication from potential matches. I had alot of the same questions as the original post. It seems the subject may have pretty much run its course now, so my thoughts are pretty late to the party, although I hope no one minds that I jump in. I appreciated reading the thread and the insights here - please forgive that I don't remember all the names here . . . I have tried other online dating sites in the past as well, with moderate success. Came across this site, because it is marketed as a Christian singles site, and I had long since decided that needed to be the focus of my search. Just another avenue for seeking. I noticed right away here, as with the other sites, one gets many responses from members who do not match well, also many wherein it seems they did not really read my profile, because when I go read theirs we are obviously not a match at all. As I started poking around more, I see that this is a huge site with all the added features of blogging, etc., and many are here not necessarily seeking their Christian life partner, but also for fellowship with other brothers/sisters in Christ. I think the fellowship aspect is great, but was not my initial impetus, as I suspect is true for others. I suppose I think of the fellowship as a sort of side benefit, gained along the way of my main focus which is the search for a Christian mate. I too, have noticed and understand many of the frustrations in this endeavor noted in the original post - by Redbird - is that right? I could fairly quickly see that hanging around just in the profiles wasn't going to bear much, so decided to start nosing around through the blogs. Kind of more like a message board in a way. I've been a member of a women's MB before that was quite active and fun. So it's nice to see that here, where many things can be discussed. Although I don't have the time I had before to interact, I hope I can devote time enough here to gain some insights and meet more "real" people. My main focus will remain the search, and I hope to figure out some ways to make that more productive here. I found the "scammers" and "fake profiles" blogs, thank you whomever it was that brought that up, and the subsequent post leading to it, that was very informative, and extremely beneficial for a new member right from the start. I was wondering if there was anything like that here, and am so pleased to see someone, well, I guess many are involved in helping that endeavor, spend so much time to help the rest of us. I'm a little disheartened and saddened that BC doesn't seem to do a very good job of detecting and removing the fakers and scammers on their own, but thankful others care enough to do it. I'm sure it takes up a lot of time. Let's see if I can organize some of my thoughts that came up based on what others said here . . . . Some were talking about the need to be "led" in order to make contact with a potential partner, which accounted for the lack of contact on their part - they didn't feel led. I understand this idea and it's value, however, I do think that often we use it perhaps unintentionally, even unconsciously, as an excuse not to act. I've noticed this in many areas of the believers walk, not just dating/searching for the Christian mate, of course. I believe our precious Lord does indeed lead us on our walk, of course, but also that He expects us to take action ourselves as well once He has done so. He leads us to opportunities for action. It is up to us then to act or not. Now some may say, well yes, that's it, and I chose to not act, because I don't feel led. Well, this can get kind of circuitous (sp?) it seems. It also brings up what "led" means, which I'm sure naturally is defined differently by each. By no means do I wish to diminish or insult anyone's thinking on this, but I think we can get too caught up in this. To some, I know "led" means the Lord speaks to them in some way, to others, it is more of a "feeling" they get. Again, not to diminish any other way of thinking, just adding my own thoughts, this is how I think about it. If one is searching for a Christian partner, and one is brought to a place like this and joins in/gets involved, then I believe it is an opportunity our Lord has put in your path. He may directly bring others to you, or not. Maybe the "led" part is simply the bringing you here. He doesn't always conk us on the head to get us to act on the opportunity. I think He often is saying, "here ya go, now do something with it". He still is leading and guiding us as we act, but I believe He expects action on our part nonetheless. Like others stated, that partner isn't necessarily going to drop into your lap. You have to do the work sometimes. Other times, He makes it easier. Or so it seems. Either way, inaction provides no fruit. Action may or may not provide fruit - but I believe He guides us through that part, helping us to discern between all the results of our actions, if we are walking the walk. That is really the key thing, if you are truly in the walk, then He is leading, and if one is brought here as part of that walk, I believe He is involved in that. He continues to watch over us, here and everywhere else we may be searching, and sometimes His guidance isn't necessarily graphic, it can be subtle too. If we don't step out in the faith of our walk, how can he lead? See, for me, all this easily comes back to us getting into this circuitous thought pattern. I don't know, but I don't think He means for us to be too caught up in that. I know it's difficult to decipher sometimes, what we are hearing. We wonder if we are hearing Him, or hearing ourselves. We start questioning so much - is this Him or is this me I'm listening to? - not that questioning is bad, I think it's good, but I think we have to be careful of it. I hear y'all on all the issues of fear, being hurt in the past, mistrust, etc. Who hasn't had some of that, I think we all have to some extent or another. That's part of that "baggage" we carry around sometimes, as humans we have difficulty letting go of it. And Praise the Lord, He made us to be this way, and I believe it can be helpful in our discernment. And, of course, on a site like this, there is the unfortunate having to deal with the intentional deceivers/fakers/scammers, which tests our discernment even more. I believe it's more important what we've done to deal with those experiences. In the walk, He covers us I believe, He has dealt with both what we have done and what others have done. It takes awhile to recover from these things sometimes, and our discernment is always developing and maturing through His guidance. Still, I believe we must step out and trust Him that He will guide us and guard even our missteps. I think we like to take over that guarding part ourselves, which ends up being more like - if I don't step out, then there are no missteps. Now I'm rambling a bit, lol, after reading this thread it brought up so many thoughts and ideas, and now after writing a bit - I didn't intend to be so longwinded!! - I find myself thinking, okay what else did you want to say? And I can't remember it all, LOL!! So I'll stop here. Thanks for the opportunity to express it. Thank you for the original post, and all the subsequent posts and great discussion. I think it brought up important issues, concerns, thoughts and ideas. Blessings in your Walk!!
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12/1/2006 12:19 am |
Okay... Not that my experience is typical, by any means, but allow me to share with you my own foray into "internet romance". I first came to BC, last December. Yes, that makes it pretty much a year, now. I did NOT come here for dating purposes, for I was still married, and had hopes that my wife and I would reconcile. Unbeknownst to me, she was involved with another man at the time, though she was acting to me as if there were still the real possibility of reconciliation. In other words, she wanted to have her cake, and eat it too. I found BC by googling for online christian communities, where I could build friendships. At that time, I did very little posting in the blogs, restricting all my observations to Advanced Bible Study Group. As some of you know, my former wife decided to divorce me, in favor of her little playmate. You know, I can't expect non-christians to behave like believers, can I? But my former bride and I were dedicated, church-going people, and both of us CLEARLY understood God's expectations of His people, regarding marriage. It's for life, and BOTH of you do what you have to do to make it work for His Glory. However, like most "christians" in this world, my ex decided she didn't want to do things God's way, she wanted them her way, and she'll just repent later. Whether the Lord will allow her to get away with that, I do not know. That's between her and Jesus. All I know is this: She made a covenant to marry another man, in spite of the fact she was already in covenant with me. According to Deuteronomy 24, I can never take her back, now, for she is defiled to me. According to Jesus, in Matthew, anyone who divorces and remarries except for cause of adultery, they themselves commit adultery. I would call my wife abandoning me for another man and becoming engaged to him adultery. Were this two thousand years ago, both of them would have been dragged into the street and stoned to death for their actions, but our society does things differently, these days. Decide for yourself if God approves of the way our society views the Bonds of Marriage. Anyway, while I bled all over my blogs, and whined and moaned, a fellow blogger messaged me, trying to help, and we began to talk back and forth. This woman (who has her faults, as do we all), reached me in ways NO ONE ever has. To this day, I have nothing but the highest respect for her, and she is probably the most faithful servant of Christ it has ever been my privilege to know. We began emailing one another, to the tune of HUNDREDS of emails a month. I learned so many things about how she thinks, and who she is as a person, yet still nothing of her appearance besides the picture she had for us all to see in the blogs. I have connected with her in ways I can't describe to you, beyond my own understanding. I love this woman that I have never met, which is completely and utterly insane, as far as I'm concerned. I know how she thinks, and what she feels, and I have no doubt that she belongs to Jesus, body and soul. The attraction between the two of us, the connection if you will, was so strong that I left the state I lived in and moved here to Ohio to be closer to her, and see where God intended that this go. She was uncomfortable with that from the very beginning, feeling like I was letting my emotions lead me, instead of the Lord. I think now of Rod's assertion earlier in this thread that some women are okay with all the love and romance stuff as long as you're still a thousand miles away, because it's safe. I feel he may have nailed it in this case, for as soon as I arrived, the cooling off of her response to me was marked. She still lives a considerable distance from me, but it's close enough that we could have at least met in the middle, but that was not to be. In late August, she left BigChurch. When I noticed this, I went to call her and make sure she was okay, and she'd disconnected her phone. She did not answer emails anymore, and for 2 months, I had no contact from her, whatsoever. What did I do? I put one foot in front of the other, the same as I've had to do my entire life. A month ago, she started writing to me again. I haven't asked her why she stopped, nor will I ask her why she started again. I am just happy to hear from her, and I will accept what she is willing to give. But I now realize that there will NEVER be anything between us, because (for reasons only she knows) she doesn't want there to be anything between us. We are friends only, and that's all that we will ever be. What of the prophecy made that she and I will be married? That person obviously did not get their information from God! What of the same person's prophecy that I will pastor a church? Well considering their one miss, the second doesn't seem to be too likely. In addition, when I consider the prospect of marriage, I know that there is ONE criteria I cannot neglect: whatever woman I end up married to must be worthy to stand in front of a church as the wife of the pastor. She must be a strong Christian leader in her own right, and she must be able to help me bear the burdens a pastor must bear. I know that she is the only person I know capable of that, but that is NOT what she believes the Lord wants of her life. It is not that men don't want to commit, nor is it that all we want are young hotties...we want a woman who'll stand with us, no matter what, and my own experience proves that those kind of women are rare in the secular world...and almost non-existent among believers. Let's face it: You get abandoned enough times, and you will quit sticking your neck out, anymore... -Danny
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12/1/2006 10:33 am |
Okay... Not that my experience is typical, by any means, but allow me to share with you my own foray into "internet romance". I first came to BC, last December. Yes, that makes it pretty much a year, now. I did NOT come here for dating purposes, for I was still married, and had hopes that my wife and I would reconcile. Unbeknownst to me, she was involved with another man at the time, though she was acting to me as if there were still the real possibility of reconciliation. In other words, she wanted to have her cake, and eat it too. I found BC by googling for online christian communities, where I could build friendships. At that time, I did very little posting in the blogs, restricting all my observations to Advanced Bible Study Group. As some of you know, my former wife decided to divorce me, in favor of her little playmate. You know, I can't expect non-christians to behave like believers, can I? But my former bride and I were dedicated, church-going people, and both of us CLEARLY understood God's expectations of His people, regarding marriage. It's for life, and BOTH of you do what you have to do to make it work for His Glory. However, like most "christians" in this world, my ex decided she didn't want to do things God's way, she wanted them her way, and she'll just repent later. Whether the Lord will allow her to get away with that, I do not know. That's between her and Jesus. All I know is this: She made a covenant to marry another man, in spite of the fact she was already in covenant with me. According to Deuteronomy 24, I can never take her back, now, for she is defiled to me. According to Jesus, in Matthew, anyone who divorces and remarries except for cause of adultery, they themselves commit adultery. I would call my wife abandoning me for another man and becoming engaged to him adultery. Were this two thousand years ago, both of them would have been dragged into the street and stoned to death for their actions, but our society does things differently, these days. Decide for yourself if God approves of the way our society views the Bonds of Marriage. Anyway, while I bled all over my blogs, and whined and moaned, a fellow blogger messaged me, trying to help, and we began to talk back and forth. This woman (who has her faults, as do we all), reached me in ways NO ONE ever has. To this day, I have nothing but the highest respect for her, and she is probably the most faithful servant of Christ it has ever been my privilege to know. We began emailing one another, to the tune of HUNDREDS of emails a month. I learned so many things about how she thinks, and who she is as a person, yet still nothing of her appearance besides the picture she had for us all to see in the blogs. I have connected with her in ways I can't describe to you, beyond my own understanding. I love this woman that I have never met, which is completely and utterly insane, as far as I'm concerned. I know how she thinks, and what she feels, and I have no doubt that she belongs to Jesus, body and soul. The attraction between the two of us, the connection if you will, was so strong that I left the state I lived in and moved here to Ohio to be closer to her, and see where God intended that this go. She was uncomfortable with that from the very beginning, feeling like I was letting my emotions lead me, instead of the Lord. I think now of Rod's assertion earlier in this thread that some women are okay with all the love and romance stuff as long as you're still a thousand miles away, because it's safe. I feel he may have nailed it in this case, for as soon as I arrived, the cooling off of her response to me was marked. She still lives a considerable distance from me, but it's close enough that we could have at least met in the middle, but that was not to be. In late August, she left BigChurch. When I noticed this, I went to call her and make sure she was okay, and she'd disconnected her phone. She did not answer emails anymore, and for 2 months, I had no contact from her, whatsoever. What did I do? I put one foot in front of the other, the same as I've had to do my entire life. A month ago, she started writing to me again. I haven't asked her why she stopped, nor will I ask her why she started again. I am just happy to hear from her, and I will accept what she is willing to give. But I now realize that there will NEVER be anything between us, because (for reasons only she knows) she doesn't want there to be anything between us. We are friends only, and that's all that we will ever be. What of the prophecy made that she and I will be married? That person obviously did not get their information from God! What of the same person's prophecy that I will pastor a church? Well considering their one miss, the second doesn't seem to be too likely. In addition, when I consider the prospect of marriage, I know that there is ONE criteria I cannot neglect: whatever woman I end up married to must be worthy to stand in front of a church as the wife of the pastor. She must be a strong Christian leader in her own right, and she must be able to help me bear the burdens a pastor must bear. I know that she is the only person I know capable of that, but that is NOT what she believes the Lord wants of her life. It is not that men don't want to commit, nor is it that all we want are young hotties...we want a woman who'll stand with us, no matter what, and my own experience proves that those kind of women are rare in the secular world...and almost non-existent among believers. Let's face it: You get abandoned enough times, and you will quit sticking your neck out, anymore... -Danny Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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12/1/2006 10:27 pm |
O ! Moj Bog ! Vy dis mens vant to lookin like wolves ? In my contry ve skinnink them if com too close. Dis mens not having good Kashankas. But for moj soistras - I be sayink to Boj - You pleeze givink yor dorters much Lovink and Protectshon. - Kashanka -
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12/2/2006 2:32 am |
O ! Moj Bog ! Vy dis mens vant to lookin like wolves ? In my contry ve skinnink them if com too close. Dis mens not having good Kashankas. But for moj soistras - I be sayink to Boj - You pleeze givink yor dorters much Lovink and Protectshon. - Kashanka -
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12/2/2006 4:05 am |
THis has got to be either Ken or Rod.... Yeah the usual suspects!But in this case, methinks it maybe someone else... Hey Granny K, why are you named after a Polish blood sausage? Respectfully, Jade p.s. "My Granny... What Big Teeth You Have!"
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12/2/2006 4:07 am |
...or Dunky..
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12/2/2006 9:49 am |
My apologies, Cecilia ...Thank you for posting on this very important subject. From the comments I've read this far, it appears to me that discerning another person's intent in a relationship is a very subjective matter. There really is no hard and fast rule, no universal guidelines to help us. Like most people, how I conduct myself in a relationship would be very much influenced by my gender, upbringing and other life experiences. These would color my perception and expectations in a relationship. The guessing game continues, and frustrations and misunderstandings abound. In all my time here, there is one noteworthy profile of a brother (whom I am not acquainted with) where he explained in no uncertain terms where he stands: "I am not interested in pursuing long distance relationships. If I contact you by email or visit your blog, my interest is purely platonic. Please don't read into it. If I am interested in a lady for more than friendship, I will state it clearly. You will not have to guess or call 3 girlfriends to wonder at my meaning." Apart from death and taxes (and the above brother's stand), I don't think there are any certainties in life, including relationships. As for me, I believe God is in control, that I just need to rest in His will and trust His timing. Most of us who posted here are no spring chickens. Even if we do meet our intended, we won't be around forever - our time on earth is finite. And what's 100 years on earth (with or without a mate) when we will be spending eternity with God in heaven?! Pardon my rambling...it's past my bedtime God's blessings to all! Jade
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12/2/2006 7:59 pm |
THis has got to be either Ken or Rod.... Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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12/3/2006 2:41 pm |
O! Moj Bog! who is beink mr Ken or Yendor ? Dis mens be goobers? What is this ? Is dis same condition the menz in my contry havink ? In my contry ve be skinnink the wolves and drinkink Vodka O very sad my husband fallink ov chair with much Vodka Not goot In my contry goobers chasink wolves and bang bang ! then skinnink. I very old voman - but ven I was yong many wolves comink try eat me and Bog be protecshon for me and I discover secret - yes ! More old ve be gettink is the less wolves try eat My tastink not so goot for wolves Moj Bog blessink you moj siostras. -Kashanka-
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12/3/2006 4:06 pm |
O! Moj Bog! who is beink mr Ken or Yendor ? Dis mens be goobers? What is this ? Is dis same condition the menz in my contry havink ? In my contry ve be skinnink the wolves and drinkink Vodka O very sad my husband fallink ov chair with much Vodka Not goot In my contry goobers chasink wolves and bang bang ! then skinnink. I very old voman - but ven I was yong many wolves comink try eat me and Bog be protecshon for me and I discover secret - yes ! More old ve be gettink is the less wolves try eat My tastink not so goot for wolves Moj Bog blessink you moj siostras. -Kashanka-
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12/4/2006 11:01 am |
Well, it ain't me!!! I learned my lesson when I played that game with pretty kitty, lol! I don't have enough practice at being devious, lol! -Danny Milligan
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12/4/2006 1:07 pm |
MY ADVICE TO WOMEN...DON'T GIVE YOUR HEART OUT SO EASILY!!!!!!! DON'T RUSH INTO IT... TAKE YOUR TIME TO KNOW A PERSON!!! ASK LOADS OF QUESTIONS!!!! DON'T GO FULL SpeeD!!!! TAKE IT SLOW AND LET THE LORD DIRECT YOU...IF IT NOT MEANT TO BE, HE WILL SHOW IT TO YOU...FOCUS ON YOUR FRIENDSHIP!!! MY ADVICE TO YOU MEN...PLEASE DON'T PLAY WITH THE WOMEN'S EMOTIONS!!!DON'T PLAY HEAD GAMES...BE STRAIGHTFORWARD! DON'T MAKE EXCUSES!!!HONOR YOUR WORDS!!! AS CHRISTIAN MEN, YOUR WORD IS YOUR BOND AND HONOR!!! DON'T MAKE ANY PROMISES THAT YOU CANNOT KEEP OR READY TO FOLLOW IT THROUGH!!!! DON'T LEAD HER ON...THAT'S A DEADLY THING YOU CAN DO TO A WOMAN'S HEART!!! IF YOU FEEL FOR SOMEONE, LET HER KNOW AND MOVE FORWARD...PROTECT YOUR FRIENDSHIP... NURTURE IT... MAKE TIME AND GIVE TIME...QUALITY TIME! DON'T HESITATE TO MEET HER... IF IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE, AT LEAST YOU GET A CHANCE TO SEE EACH OTHER...AND WHO KNOWS YOU COULD BE BEST FRIENDS AND PRAYER PARTNERS... I AM ADDRESSING TO ALL MEN HERE...PLEASE BE HONORABLE! TREAT EVERY WOMAN YOU MEET AS IF THEY ARE YOUR OWN SISTER...KEEP IN MIND THAT THEY ARE YOUR SISTERS IN THE LORD! Just sharing my heart... Thanks for sharing this post... Almighty Blessings, Glo and also PAY ATTENTION TO THE RED FLAGS!!!!!!!!!!!1 If you are uncomfortable it is for a REASON!!!!! if you are uncomfortable for ANY REASON go even SLOWER!!!!!!!! some people would love to make YOU seem crazy when it is really they who need the counseling!
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12/4/2006 6:21 pm |
My apologies, Cecilia ...Thank you for posting on this very important subject. From the comments I've read this far, it appears to me that discerning another person's intent in a relationship is a very subjective matter. There really is no hard and fast rule, no universal guidelines to help us. Like most people, how I conduct myself in a relationship would be very much influenced by my gender, upbringing and other life experiences. These would color my perception and expectations in a relationship. The guessing game continues, and frustrations and misunderstandings abound. In all my time here, there is one noteworthy profile of a brother (whom I am not acquainted with) where he explained in no uncertain terms where he stands: "I am not interested in pursuing long distance relationships. If I contact you by email or visit your blog, my interest is purely platonic. Please don't read into it. If I am interested in a lady for more than friendship, I will state it clearly. You will not have to guess or call 3 girlfriends to wonder at my meaning." Apart from death and taxes (and the above brother's stand), I don't think there are any certainties in life, including relationships. As for me, I believe God is in control, that I just need to rest in His will and trust His timing. Most of us who posted here are no spring chickens. Even if we do meet our intended, we won't be around forever - our time on earth is finite. And what's 100 years on earth (with or without a mate) when we will be spending eternity with God in heaven?! Pardon my rambling...it's past my bedtime God's blessings to all! JadeEphesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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12/4/2006 7:19 pm |
"some people would love to make YOU seem crazy when it is really they who need the counseling!" well said Rj, well said...... does that mean, there is hope for me yet ?? (((((((((((hugggsssssss))))))))))) ~ contending for the truth ~ ...eli...
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12/4/2006 7:40 pm |
Sis, the problem, as I see it, is not rushing into anything, because there doesn't seem to be anything to rush into in the first place. Those who do get in touch show themselves for what they truly are very quickly. Those who are Godly seem to be making no contact at all. That is the real problem ______________________________ Cecilia, Godly men are not always as they seemed to portray who they are. They maybe slow to respond but when they do, watch out!!! Because, either they still live in the past and have not let go of it and completely healed, or they just simply want to play around.... sometimes just for the fun of it! NOT ALL GODLY MEN...SOME! LOL! Just sharing my observations... Glo Teach me your way, O LORD,and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify Your name forever. (Psalm 86:11,12)
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12/4/2006 7:51 pm |
I appreciated all the comments voiced from the heart and the spirit through the blog. We all have felt the frustration of communication with these emails. One thing that I have found with the email is how easily the reader of my email can be offended by something I have said. I have had two men now, who will not talk to me because I failed to but a lol, or a (just joking)or (just a little humor) in the script. The emails, as a form of communication failed to provide the reader with any inflections of my voice,any laughter or hearing of humor. And I truly miss eye to eye contact. However, if nothing else I believe I am learning how to communicate,in writing, my humor, or my funny moments or thoughts expressed by the type of an email. May the Lord remind us show love for each other, because we are Christ, in our communication process here at BC; and follow the written word in not getting offended so easily, and treating each other with respect because we are the children of God and belong to His family. God bless all the saints and I thank God that He is continuing to mold us into vessels of honor, both men and women alike, in Jesus name.
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12/4/2006 8:11 pm |
On another subject, how many of you have heard or read about "mid-life crisis"? Allegedly, this is supposed to occur between the ages of 35 - 50 years of age when, all of a sudden one day you wake up and realize that almost half or more of your life is now over on this planet earth, and you begin to freak out. You begin to review your life thus far and take an inventory of yourself...You may think or say things like: Do I like what I have done with myself thus far? What about all the things I wanted to do and places that I wanted to go when I was younger and have not gotten around to it yet? Do I like whee I live? Do I like who I am with? Do I like where I work and what I am doing for a living? Do I like the person I see in the mirror who looks 20 years older than what I feel like inside? What have I done (or not done) for God and ministry, and what am I supposed to do for Him before I get too old or complacent to do it? Piggybacking on this is the "empty nest syndrome" where the children have left (or the last child is about to leave)and you have invested your past 20 years being a parent and define your role in life as that ...and now they don't need you like they once did. This ofter created what is termed an "identity crisis". I help people look at this experience as a time to begin a new adventure... where you can be used in ministry more than ever and to use those ca retaking qualities (once centered around your children)to begin to take care of and minister to people your church congregation. So.... What do you guys think about this? .... or is this really just a bunch of psychobabble? ______________________________ Hey Rob, you just about described my ex! LOL! A very good description of "mid-life crisis"! After being married for 19 years, those were the words that came out of his mouth!!! Now I am pretty sure that it was the same spirit of rebellion that is at work in so many men today, who go through the "mid-life crisis" syndrome! What do you do when they throw these statements at you? And then filed for divorce...and you wonder why...what went wrong? Just reminiscing the old scenario of another broken home because of this issue. And that home was my own! Just sharing my thoughts... Thanks, Glo Teach me your way, O LORD,and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify Your name forever. (Psalm 86:11,12)
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12/4/2006 8:30 pm |
Okay... Not that my experience is typical, by any means, but allow me to share with you my own foray into "internet romance". I first came to BC, last December. Yes, that makes it pretty much a year, now. I did NOT come here for dating purposes, for I was still married, and had hopes that my wife and I would reconcile. Unbeknownst to me, she was involved with another man at the time, though she was acting to me as if there were still the real possibility of reconciliation. In other words, she wanted to have her cake, and eat it too. I found BC by googling for online christian communities, where I could build friendships. At that time, I did very little posting in the blogs, restricting all my observations to Advanced Bible Study Group. As some of you know, my former wife decided to divorce me, in favor of her little playmate. You know, I can't expect non-christians to behave like believers, can I? But my former bride and I were dedicated, church-going people, and both of us CLEARLY understood God's expectations of His people, regarding marriage. It's for life, and BOTH of you do what you have to do to make it work for His Glory. However, like most "christians" in this world, my ex decided she didn't want to do things God's way, she wanted them her way, and she'll just repent later. Whether the Lord will allow her to get away with that, I do not know. That's between her and Jesus. All I know is this: She made a covenant to marry another man, in spite of the fact she was already in covenant with me. According to Deuteronomy 24, I can never take her back, now, for she is defiled to me. According to Jesus, in Matthew, anyone who divorces and remarries except for cause of adultery, they themselves commit adultery. I would call my wife abandoning me for another man and becoming engaged to him adultery. Were this two thousand years ago, both of them would have been dragged into the street and stoned to death for their actions, but our society does things differently, these days. Decide for yourself if God approves of the way our society views the Bonds of Marriage. Anyway, while I bled all over my blogs, and whined and moaned, a fellow blogger messaged me, trying to help, and we began to talk back and forth. This woman (who has her faults, as do we all), reached me in ways NO ONE ever has. To this day, I have nothing but the highest respect for her, and she is probably the most faithful servant of Christ it has ever been my privilege to know. We began emailing one another, to the tune of HUNDREDS of emails a month. I learned so many things about how she thinks, and who she is as a person, yet still nothing of her appearance besides the picture she had for us all to see in the blogs. I have connected with her in ways I can't describe to you, beyond my own understanding. I love this woman that I have never met, which is completely and utterly insane, as far as I'm concerned. I know how she thinks, and what she feels, and I have no doubt that she belongs to Jesus, body and soul. The attraction between the two of us, the connection if you will, was so strong that I left the state I lived in and moved here to Ohio to be closer to her, and see where God intended that this go. She was uncomfortable with that from the very beginning, feeling like I was letting my emotions lead me, instead of the Lord. I think now of Rod's assertion earlier in this thread that some women are okay with all the love and romance stuff as long as you're still a thousand miles away, because it's safe. I feel he may have nailed it in this case, for as soon as I arrived, the cooling off of her response to me was marked. She still lives a considerable distance from me, but it's close enough that we could have at least met in the middle, but that was not to be. In late August, she left BigChurch. When I noticed this, I went to call her and make sure she was okay, and she'd disconnected her phone. She did not answer emails anymore, and for 2 months, I had no contact from her, whatsoever. What did I do? I put one foot in front of the other, the same as I've had to do my entire life. A month ago, she started writing to me again. I haven't asked her why she stopped, nor will I ask her why she started again. I am just happy to hear from her, and I will accept what she is willing to give. But I now realize that there will NEVER be anything between us, because (for reasons only she knows) she doesn't want there to be anything between us. We are friends only, and that's all that we will ever be. What of the prophecy made that she and I will be married? That person obviously did not get their information from God! What of the same person's prophecy that I will pastor a church? Well considering their one miss, the second doesn't seem to be too likely. In addition, when I consider the prospect of marriage, I know that there is ONE criteria I cannot neglect: whatever woman I end up married to must be worthy to stand in front of a church as the wife of the pastor. She must be a strong Christian leader in her own right, and she must be able to help me bear the burdens a pastor must bear. I know that she is the only person I know capable of that, but that is NOT what she believes the Lord wants of her life. It is not that men don't want to commit, nor is it that all we want are young hotties...we want a woman who'll stand with us, no matter what, and my own experience proves that those kind of women are rare in the secular world...and almost non-existent among believers. Let's face it: You get abandoned enough times, and you will quit sticking your neck out, anymore... -Danny _______________ After reading your comments, I really feel for you! I had almost the same experience as yours, mind you! The sad thing was, we did not even met! But the words spoken were so real and believable! How can I not believed them? Direct from a heart of a godly Christian man? Only to be told later that he just wanted to be like the apostle Paul! What can I say? Congratulations! Thanks for the disclosure!! If not of my faith in the Lord, I would probably be so devastated by now. But no! I took it as a learning experience and moved on, fully confident that God's best is yet to come! Thanks for sharing yoiur experience... Almighty Blessings, glo Teach me your way, O LORD,and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify Your name forever. (Psalm 86:11,12)
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12/4/2006 8:41 pm |
Amen glo, and also PAY ATTENTION TO THE RED FLAGS!!!!!!!!!!!1 If you are uncomfortable it is for a REASON!!!!! if you are uncomfortable for ANY REASON go even SLOWER!!!!!!!! some people would love to make YOU seem crazy when it is really they who need the counseling! _______________________ So very true.......HOW IN THE WORLD DID I MISS IT?????? LOL! I MEAN THE RED FLAGS!!!! I guess we really need to stay tuned with the Lord and listen to His voice if he is truly the one He wants us to commit ourselves to! There are so many voices vying for our attention..And although they are Christians...godly Christians...IT'S NOT A GUARANTEE HE/SHE IS GOD'S WILL FOR YOU! OHHHHHHH...SOME MEN COULD JUST MELT YOUR HEART WITH THE WAY THEY TALK! DON'T INTERNALIZE WHAT THEY ARE SAYING! FILL YOUR MINDS WITH GOD'S WORD! HOLD ON TO GOD'S PROMISES INSTEAD OF THE PROMISES OF MEN! PRESSING ON! Glo Teach me your way, O LORD,and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify Your name forever. (Psalm 86:11,12)
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12/6/2006 6:45 pm |
On another subject, how many of you have heard or read about "mid-life crisis"? Allegedly, this is supposed to occur between the ages of 35 - 50 years of age when, all of a sudden one day you wake up and realize that almost half or more of your life is now over on this planet earth, and you begin to freak out. You begin to review your life thus far and take an inventory of yourself...You may think or say things like: Do I like what I have done with myself thus far? What about all the things I wanted to do and places that I wanted to go when I was younger and have not gotten around to it yet? Do I like whee I live? Do I like who I am with? Do I like where I work and what I am doing for a living? Do I like the person I see in the mirror who looks 20 years older than what I feel like inside? What have I done (or not done) for God and ministry, and what am I supposed to do for Him before I get too old or complacent to do it? Piggybacking on this is the "empty nest syndrome" where the children have left (or the last child is about to leave)and you have invested your past 20 years being a parent and define your role in life as that ...and now they don't need you like they once did. This ofter created what is termed an "identity crisis". I help people look at this experience as a time to begin a new adventure... where you can be used in ministry more than ever and to use those ca retaking qualities (once centered around your children)to begin to take care of and minister to people your church congregation. So.... What do you guys think about this? .... or is this really just a bunch of psychobabble? ______________________________ Hey Rob, you just about described my ex! LOL! A very good description of "mid-life crisis"! After being married for 19 years, those were the words that came out of his mouth!!! Now I am pretty sure that it was the same spirit of rebellion that is at work in so many men today, who go through the "mid-life crisis" syndrome! What do you do when they throw these statements at you? And then filed for divorce...and you wonder why...what went wrong? Just reminiscing the old scenario of another broken home because of this issue. And that home was my own! Just sharing my thoughts... Thanks, Glo From what I have seen in my counseling office, if it gets to the point where these things are being muttered.... the marital relationship (ofter unintentionally) had been malnourished for some time. One or both people had gone on auto-pilot - being involved with the other aspects of their life without contributing the proper amount of time and energy into nurturing the marital relationship. My Post about "Women Are Like Rosebushes" makes it very clear that the marital relationship and our spouse need continual nurturing in order to stay healthy... and men need this nurturing from women just as much as women need it from men. Now that I have said this.... sometimes there is nothing wrong the other spouse did... the mid life crisis person just feels this huge void - an existential void and a loss of personal(sometimes, but not always, spiritual) meaning in life. It scares the heck out of the person, a feeling of sinking in quicksand. Sometimes the way the person attempts to rescue him/herself from this crisis is just not the healthiest nor Godliest way of working through this phase in life.
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12/7/2006 3:31 pm |
O! Moj BoG! I just comink say hello to tell you that the wolves beink trapped and is safe to havink love with Jezus Boj blessink you mr zog - you havink goot bog - not forget that yes ? - Kashanka -
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12/7/2006 3:39 pm |
Yeah the usual suspects!But in this case, methinks it maybe someone else... Hey Granny K, why are you named after a Polish blood sausage? Respectfully, Jade p.s. "My Granny... What Big Teeth You Have!" My BoG ! you beink wrong yong voman - I not havink big teeth now My name Kashanka is meaning black puddink in my contry - you see my mother and father beink confushon before I born and thinkink I am going be with black hair. Is goot I am not becos the manure man comink too many time and my father thinkink somethink stink ! But - no - I beink born blond - but name Kashanka is the name my mother still givink me. I be very old now - havink goot boots for kickink but havink gray hair now ( too many years chasink husbands Kashanka ) Have you heard the name Bolox ? This is vere I was born - in Bolox. Bog blessink you miss jade - Kashanka -
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12/7/2006 9:11 pm |
I never heard of anyone WRITING with an accent, before! WHO IS THIS?
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