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 | Blogs > redbird1122 > Rebirth Of The Phoenix > My Testamony Part Eight |
My Testamony Part Eight
9/4/2006 9:00 amLast Read: |
Disclaimer: I want first of all to let everyone know that what I am about to reveal is not because I am living in the past or because I am holding on to it. I am not still wearing my grave clothes, so to speak. A testimony is simply speaking the truth of what God has done in one's life, personal experience of His love, grace, power, glory. For a biblical example of a testimony please see Acts 26:1-23 When I was 15 my step-dad got a job working for an oil company in Iran. We lived there for almost 2 years, in Tehran. My life at home didn't change much. It was there that I first attempted suicide at the age of 16 by overdosing on my mother's medications. I was what I called a failure at being a failure. Friends came to the hospital to see me and brought me some magazines and puzzle books but when my mom came later she took them away, told the hospital staff I wasn't to have any more visitors and told me that I was to spend my time thinking about what I had done, to her. When I left the hospital and went home my mom had written notes and plastered the walls throughout the house with them. Most of them said something to the effect of "I hate my mom because ____________!" I was warned not to remove them. Upon leaving the hospital an appointment had been made for me to see the doctor in his office. When my mom took me to the appointment the doctor talked to me and then he talked to my mom. He asked my mom to make another appointment for me and then asked her to make one for herself. I never saw the doctor again. Several weeks later when my step-dad returned from Shiraz where he actually worked, he made my mother take the notes off the wall. I have to admit he did do some things to protect me but they did not change the things he did to me himself. Later, again fed up with my life, I ran away from home, in a foreign country. I ended up at the American Embassy and told them what had been going on in my home and that I wanted to go back home to the U.S. But to no avail. I was sent back home to my mom and step-dad. In May of 1974 I was standing on the roof of the building we lived in. The roofs were sort of like patio's. I was up there just taking a break, spending some time alone. All of a sudden I heard my grandpa calling me. I turned to answer him before I had time to think and realize that he was half way around the world, back home in Texas. That night, after taking my bath and getting ready for bed I walked into my bedroom and switched on my light. My grandpa was lying in my bed with his arm outstretched, motioning with his hand for me to come to him. Then he disappeared. At around 3 A.M. our phone rang. It was my oldest sister with news that my granpa was dying and if we wanted to see him alive we better get home and soon. My mom and I left that day and came back to Texas. You may recall me talking about my grandpa in an earlier part of my testamony. He loved me very much and I loved him as well. He was one of the few people in my young life that I could trust. We got home and were here only three days before he passed away. His death was devastating for me. So much so that I collapsed at the funeral, clinging to the table that his coffin sat on, having to be carried out of the funeral home. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand 
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9/4/2006 1:27 pm |
I, too, was denied access to therapy when I came home from having my baby at 12. I did what the people at the home suggested, called the crisis line, got an appointment, went to one appointment (snuck)...and got caught. My mom too, had a job is social services, and her friend told her I had been to the state office, seeking support. I didn't get beat for it. I got told that I was trying to ruin her. It damn near ruined me...I didn't talk about my baby again, in my home, for....well until I was about 20. I was all kinds of screwed up by then.... God bless you Cecilia.
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9/4/2006 1:29 pm |
Funny thing too....the lady that cared for me when I was 12 and sent away...the one who contacted me last winter and hooked me up with my "baby" who's now 28....right when I hit send, I saw her little peek-a-boo thing come up, saying she had just signed in on msn.... God gave her back to me....she's helped me alot. I still have the letters she wrote to me when I was a kid after I came home from being pregnant...the ones I got to before my mom did...
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