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 | Blogs > redbird1122 > Rebirth Of The Phoenix > My Testamony Part Two |
My Testamony Part Two
8/26/2006 11:47 pmLast Read: |
Disclaimer: I want first of all to let everyone know that what I am about to reveal is not because I am living in the past or because I am holding on to it. I am not still wearing my grave clothes, so to speak. A testimony is simply speaking the truth of what God has done in one's life, personal experience of His love, grace, power, glory. For a biblical example of a testimony please see Acts 26:1-23 Though my parents claimed to be Christians and attended church regularly, life in my home was not as it appeared to the outside world to be. By the time I was 3 or 4 I was already being sexually molested my parents, though my mother, in her ignorance, thought she was doing something protective. It was around this age that I found myself alone in the sanctuary of the church during Christmas time one year and wandered up onto the pulpit to look at the nativity scene. I will never forget as long as I live the sense of comfort that came over me as I gazed at the baby doll that represented the Christ child laying in the manger. It was from that point forward that I knew, that no matter what happened, He would be with me, and somehow He would protect me. I have written a song that tells a little of this story as well as some of the rest of my testimony. You can read it here I Still Have You Over the years the abuse continued, escalated, with physical, mental, spiritual and emotional abuse added to the mix. My dad went to prison and I was subjected to sexual abuse by both a foster father and a step-father. I went into a foster home after my mother tried to kill me, twice. During this time I kept wondering why He wasn't protecting me, like I thought He would. It wasn't until much later that I realized that He had been. You see, while the abuse was happening, I would go away. I have very little memory of any of it. Psychologists and Psychiatrists call it "Dissociative Disorder" and "Post Traumatic Stress Disorder". I call it God's Protection of tender minds that cannot bear the horror of the things that are happening to them. I wrote a poem/song concerning this as well called Were You Being My Daddy According to the world's thinking, I should be locked up in a rubber room somewhere. But I am so glad that My Lord has overcome the world and the one who controls it for the time being. I still struggle with some of this, finding it difficult to stay on top of it all sometimes. After all, God has not given us the ability to wipe the memories from our minds. It keeps me humble and reliant on Him, day by day, moment by moment, step by step. Without His constant strength and support, no doubt I would be overcome and overwhelmed. But, Praise His Name, He is Faithful, and never leaves or forsakes me. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand 
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8/27/2006 5:09 am |
Amen!!!!!
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8/27/2006 9:48 am |
What an awesome testimony Cecilia!! God is soooooo awesome! He might not wipe the memory out - but He can heal the pain of those things in the past - He can heal your shame and your rejection and your abondment and even give you a heart of forgiveness - which is a huge key to healing. I've experienced it and I know you have experienced those things too. It's quite a journey - this journey of healing. Can't wait to hear the next part!! How can we NOT praise Him - Marilyn
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8/27/2006 4:21 pm |
We need to talk....perhaps collaborate on a book.
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