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 | Blogs > Hisglory77 > What does the Book say? > Finding a Date in Church (for the men) |
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Last Read: |
In church is the absolute best place to find a romantic interest, but it is also the very hardest place to get one started. This time I am addressing the men. First a disclaimer. If you are looking for a born again look alike of Paris Hilton, or for a woman with whom you can commit acts of lust, you won't find any advice here. This is the wrong blog for you. This is for spiritually mature men of God. The first and most imperative things are to have your priorities straight, earnestly prayed, and your thoughts in check. Matthew 6:33 - But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Psalms 37:4 - Delight thyself also in the LORD: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. So it goes with these two passages that you MUST have God first in your life. If you don't, then you have no business looking for romance until you do. Now that's not saying that you have to have it perfectly together with God. Only after you have God in his proper place should you begin to consider meeting a woman with whom to have a romance. Now the next thing is to pray, and pray a lot, then have and keep your thinking holy regarding this venture. 2 Corinthians 10:5 - Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; Romans 12:2 - And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. Contrary to everything everyone teaches you, never start a relationship as a romance. Never. Yes that is what she wants, and it is what you are ultimately looking for, but it is also too easy to try to make it all happen yourself. Let God be God. Your starting point is friendship. That is what you are trying for, and that is what you need to tell her. If she wants to bypass friendship and go right into romance, then you got the wrong girl. She has to be your best friend before she can become your wife. Put on some clean and nice clothes, matching socks, and at least try to coordinate colors. Did you remember to pray? While you are praying, ask the Lord to keep reminding you why you are in church. You are NOT in church to find a woman. You are in church to worship, and learn about God. However he won't mind if you multitask a little bit and look around. Now much like purchasing property, it's all location, location. The back rows are for the backsliders who want to make a fast getaway when the message from the pulpit becomes too convicting. But it's also where the intercessors are placed in order to see everyone they are praying for. You will find the most serious believers down in the front. Remember, you're putting God first now, so that's where you belong anyway. The best position for you will be the center of the row you are in. A woman who is interested in you will likely pick to sit in the same row as you, but as far as possible to not look too obvious. So you've already cut in half the distance the interested woman will be from you. You are no more then half a row from her. In some churches that is easy speaking distance. If during the service you leave your seat, you have a reason now to go past her. If she gets up to leave, you will be hard pressed to not see that and it puts you in a position to follow her out to the lobby area. (Unless she is going to the powder room. Don't ever follow then.) If the woman who caught your attention arrives at service before you, mostly likely she will sit near an aisle anyway. (Many people instinctually do) Again, choosing a seat in the middle of the row, you have to pass her. Even if you have no current object of interest, you are placed in a good position to observe. So watch and be vigilant. Again the general idea is worship and hear the Word, but looking around is not a sin. Generally you want to find someone who is near your level of spiritual commitment. Their own level of growth, and maturity is a minor detail. Forget about the equally yoked bit which you often hear about. Being equally yoked specificly and only means that both of you are Christians, and nothing more. The real truth is that any two believers who are walking the Word can make a marriage work, without regard to where either of them are in growth. So maturity is not much of a deal, but having similar levels of commitment is the real golden egg. Look for some common things you are involved in, but some diversity is good too. If she is a church greeter, and you are with the worship band, but you are both in the same Sunday school class, you may be a very good match. You do want to make certain she is putting God first just like you. Finding her next to you at an alter call is a very good sign. Watch, listen, and ask around. Non-tither’s are bad news financially, while gossips are usually also bitter women. Same goes for those who seem to argue with people a lot. If she seems to be well respected, she may well be a prize worth chasing. Don't be shy about letting others know if you find someone interesting, but be very clear that you are NOT in love with her. (yet) Under the best scenario, someone you hang with will know her too. If so, never under rate the impact of a third party introduction. Those work better then everything else. Finally keep in mind that in the Christian environment, it is your job to pursue her, and a proper woman wants to be pursued. Isaiah 66:2b; But to this one I will look, To him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word. |
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8/5/2007 5:25 am |
Backsliders aren't in the back row...they're not in the church at all. The back row is for those who were stuck in traffic. LOL Tithing is a personal thing. That's why I stopped going to the church where they made it a festival...everyone had to walk up the aisle and put it in the basket that the deacon held. Please..it's not a contest or for show. It's good to see a man's perspective. It freaks me out a little, but it's good to know.
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8/5/2007 7:24 am |
I think that this is sound advice for men, specialy the part about "a proper woman wants to be persued", i sit in the back at church, not becouse i want to make a fast getaway but becouse i don't like people looking at my back, it makes me itchy, weird, i know!,  Life is an adventure.
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8/5/2007 7:50 am |
I sit in the back rows when I do not want to be noticed. We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19)
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8/5/2007 1:11 pm |
I don't sit in the back row either, I sit with my grandmother. I also do not want to meet a man at church. I am there strictly to learn and worship, no other reason. As for tithing, I stick any offering I have in an envelope....no one needs to know what's in there but the Treasurer and God.
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8/5/2007 1:32 pm |
Okay, I repent of my remark about the back row. It was meant as something funny, and I origionally had said more which would have made that more evident, but I had to cut a lot of stuff when I discovered I had a blog that was over three times longer then the women's blog. Some people prefer the bigger view you get from the back, and some people are shy. I'll concede it to a matter of personal preference. Sorry if I offended anyone. Isaiah 66:2b; But to this one I will look, To him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word.
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8/5/2007 7:15 pm |
it is ok, Hisglory77. I think some men may think alike. You have given a lot of great advices on the topics both for men and women. Thanks a lot. We love because he first loved us. (1 John 4:19)
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8/5/2007 9:29 pm |
I have been told by a few Christian woman that there are always wolves at church, maskarading as sheep. The women need to be heedful and careful, lest they are taken advantage of..... I think old fashioned courting is a much better idea...that way, the wolves won't be able to act out and if their intentions are honorable and true, they will not have any problem in a courting type of situation. Beware of the man who wants to get you alone, too often, many times, this is a ploy to try and have his way with you. Our society is losing it's sanity and it's manners and it has become as in the days of Noah.... What did GOD DO? He had that flood, and destroyed them all...... Anyway, women, be as gentle as serpents and as wise as doves....you need to check out a man first, with his pastor, that is the wisest thing to do. PRAYER REQUEST FOR MOMT AND FRIENDSHIP SUPPORT, PRETTY PLEASE!    
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8/16/2007 5:30 am |
I have been told by a few Christian woman that there are always wolves at church, maskarading as sheep. The women need to be heedful and careful, lest they are taken advantage of..... I think old fashioned courting is a much better idea...that way, the wolves won't be able to act out and if their intentions are honorable and true, they will not have any problem in a courting type of situation. Beware of the man who wants to get you alone, too often, many times, this is a ploy to try and have his way with you. Our society is losing it's sanity and it's manners and it has become as in the days of Noah.... What did GOD DO? He had that flood, and destroyed them all...... Anyway, women, be as gentle as serpents and as wise as doves....you need to check out a man first, with his pastor, that is the wisest thing to do. I think though, its equally important that a man be able to check out a woman with her pastor also... if she goes to church. At the end of the day, all tentative relationships and relationships are governed by a number of factors - its not really dependant on church at all.... its dependant on their relationship to and with Christ first and foremost. [post 111907]
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8/16/2007 5:34 am |
oooh la la Byron !!! lololol....... I read through your post and it put a smile on my face my brother. lol. You raise a lot of very good points in your post and advice, but also I found myself disagreeing with some of your points. Backsliders are not always in the backrow lol. I remember my pastors wife sat bitterly in the front row of every service .... you are funny Byron, even in your driest most serious way - and you know I love you dearly  Lemonade still rocks ! Honestly, reading your post was like watching a mini soap opera. Im telling you man,...... you oughta write a book !!!  God bless YOU Byron, you are amazing bro,  eli. [post 111907]
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