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 | Blogs > Hisglory77 > What does the Book say? > Finding a Date in Church (for the ladies) |
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Last Read: |
In church is the absolute best place to find a romantic interest, but it is also the very hardest place to get one started. I recently wrote the following in response to another blog, and as I think about it, this is a very good subject to get out there for everyone. In this one I will handle for the women, how to get asked for a date in church. Later on will be one for the men how to make it easier for them to ask a woman in his church for a date. Getting a date with a man in your church entails two elements. 1, Getting his attention. 2, Providing an opportunity to be asked out. Contrary to everything everyone teaches you, physical appearance is no big deal to mature Christian men, but it can help. For starters, (as a mature Christian myself) I am interested in a woman who is sold out to the Lord at least as much as I am, and the observant person in church can easily see who is, and who is not sold out to the Lord. The single biggest pointer is participation, and here is what we men are watching for. Does she stand and sing with the others? Or does she just sit there? If she is singing, how much is she into it? Is she doing anything to show her reverence? Including, but not limited to singing out heartfeltly, raising her hands to the Lord, kneeling to pray, dancing either in place, in the aisle, or near the alter, waving flags, blowing shafers, or anything showing her spiritual joy. Does she go up for alter calls? Does she allow herself to be prayed over? or better yet does she pray over others? Is she involved with any activities or small groups? Especially the worship band, or choir, women's groups, prayer or prophetic groups? Does she attend Sunday school, or take advantage of the churches training activities? Does she serve the church in any way? Does she attend church on a regular basis? Does she place anything in the collection plate or basket? All these things and more are things I look for. After that is watching how she conducts herself. Does she socialize with anyone, or does she just sit alone and is the first one out the door when the minister says, "Amen?" Do other church members know her? Is she well respected? Does she gossip? or does she avoid gossip? Does she partake in communion? If she has children, how does she handle them? Especially when they fidget or misbehave? It may surprise you to know you are being watched by what few available men there are a lot more then you know. It is very well known in the Christian community, that available women outnumber available men by at least four to one, and often a lot more then that. Adding to that, in a proper Christian environment men do all the picking, and while that may not seem fair, I didn't write the rules. It is our market and we know it. The men who are less mature will pick the prettiest, and/or most promiscuous woman they can. Those who are more mature (especially those from a failed relationship) will pick the most spiritual woman they can discern. Next, and actually more important is making available opportunities to be asked out. Much like your Jr. High School dances, hanging with girl friends most of the time will not get you asked. We men want to be discrete, and not have a bunch of people around when we ask you out. You're not likely to be asked out during worship, unless you are hanging out in the back, or in an area where worship is not going on right then. If you are sitting more then a couple seats away from the aisle, or if there is anyone between you and the aisle, forget being asked until you are positioned better. Make a lot of eye contact, but don't be seductive about it. Take breaks during worship from time to time and go outside, or where ever people may visit during service. An interested man will notice, and eventually follow you outside. Arrive for service at least a few minutes before it begins, and linger for a while after it's over. Before or after service is the most likely time an asking will take place, and again stay near an aisle, but with an empty seat toward the aisle if at all possible. While it is on the man to take the initiative, there is nothing disgraceful about you women making it easier for us men to do so. Remember, we are socially challenged anyway, and pretty dumb about reading body language. If we have reason to believe you are interested, or at least looking, it makes a world of difference. Finally there is one method that works even better then all these other tips combined. A third party introduction. Especially if that introduction is made by a leader or at least someone respected in the church. It is proper Christian etiquette for either the man or woman to ask someone who knows both for an introduction. If done properly and in good taste, a third party introduction almost guarantees a date, or exchange of phone numbers and/or E-mail addresses will follow. Isaiah 66:2b; But to this one I will look, To him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word. |
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8/2/2007 6:45 am |
 wow oh wow Byron lol..... - I cant sing - I avoid mens eyes - I run outta church first so I dont get landed yet AGAIN with washing 300 cups and saucers (when I do go to church) - And if I saw a guy taking the advice and 'making the moves' (no matter how subtely) I would march up to him with a smile and lay my hands on him and begin to prayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy. - This, would be the end, of that. He would run thinking "get me away from this nutcase, help me Lord !!!" [post 111907]
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 8/2/2007 7:50 am |
Excellent advice. Allot of great valuable tips there. If us single hens did our part and followed your tips, there'd be allot fewer single hens. Greetings from Calgary Canada. Located on the east side of the Canadian Rocky mountains. Where the deer and the antelope play, Where seldom is heard a discouraging word, And the skies are not cloudy all day.
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 8/2/2007 8:36 am |
I rarely see available men in church under the age of 65.
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8/2/2007 9:33 am |
I've never had a problem getting a date. I'm here to give all you wonderful ladies what you have been waiting for your whole life.
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8/2/2007 10:43 pm |
I've never had problems getting a date either. In fact, I turn most of them down.
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8/3/2007 10:50 pm |
lol Bryon ... you can pray for me as much as you like to, I appreciate it brother  Blessings to you Byron eli. [post 111907]
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8/6/2007 7:47 am |
byron,, if there are 4 or more men to each woman, that menas at least 75 % of us have no chance. At my age the situation requires a miracle.. which is why I am accepting my situation and not even looking any more. Take out the 80 percent who only care bout looks, leavesme with maybe a five percent chance at best.. and I have found from being in chruchs and on BC that most men dont want an intelligent woman,, which cuts it evem more..bottomline.. might as well get used to being single for a very long time. Churchmen myage are either taken or gunshy,, looked in the church for many years now..no luck.. and dreamguy,,, of couse you can get a date, you have the decked staked totally in your favoer,,the odds are on your side,,
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5/31/2008 3:21 am |
Hi Byron,  Excellent advice! Full of hope! Thank you my friend for giving me hope and the opportunity to see your heart. Your girlfriend is very blessed! God bless you both!  NOTHING that happens, happens for NOTHING This Post Rated XXX-If Sensitive, Please DON'T Read I'm Giving Away FREE Kudos, Come And Get Some!!! A Call To All Christians Who Will Pray!!! God Loves Addicts New Members at BigChurch, WATCH OUT!!!
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