 | Blogs > yendor2 > Lighten Up a bit > Is the past really the past?... |
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yendor2
2/3/2007 7:47 pm |
If the past is the the past, and we have been forgiven by the shed blood of Jesus Christ should share our past with a possible mate or even close friends?... ..would it be deceiving if that is really NOT who we are anymore?... I think it is wise for US to look at our past, and know our weaknesses, so that we may not fall.. but do we need to tell others?.. .. I'm not saying we lie, but do we need to tell how many people we may slept with, and who?.. maybe just say I was promiscuous before I was saved.. or if you had done drugs, should you go into details like kinds, or how long, and how bad it was?.. maybe say I experimented with drugs before I was saved, and it took me down a, path that I'm glad the Lord rescued me from?.. .. maybe I'm wrong and we do need to share the intimate detail of our past with a future spouse even if we are forgiven!.. ..please tell what you think!... Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit... |
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2/3/2007 8:25 pm |
I think it is an issue of trust. If you trust the other person completely (and that would take time) you should feel free to share anything from your past, knowing that your mate would continue to love and accept you and perhaps understand you better because of knowing your background. As far as naming names or getting real specific, that may not be helpful. On the other hand, you don't necessarily want something popping out in the future that you would prefer your mate hear from you, not someone else--i.e. a child showing up at the door that you had given up for adoption. Trust leads to honesty, because we can open our hearts to those we trust. Blessings, Merry Only the soul that knows the mighty grief can know the mighty rapture. Sorrows come to stretch out spaces in the heart for joy. ~Edwin Markham~
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2/3/2007 8:40 pm |
I think honesty is always best,if you are talking to a real christian,then they should be walking in the love of Jesus. I guess thats the ultimate way to know if they are genuine or not,some of the people I admire and love most, are the people who have been honest about where they came from!Godbless you 
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2/3/2007 9:36 pm |
For me I have learned not to be afraid to share my past with people because there might be someone listening that is going down the same road or they have a family member going down the same road I went down and it might just give them hope. I know I am forgiven for all I have done and I am a changed man and I just want to share what the Lord has done for me because I am forever greatful. God bless, John
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2/3/2007 9:39 pm |
Unless the past affects the future, then no - noone has a right to know every detail of your past. The question is: Is there a past that does not affect the future in one way or another? The past forms who and what we are, including our mistakes, and may help others understand us better. But, it's up to each individual to decide on the if, when, how and the details of disclosure. Why the question, Rod? God bless, G “Faith makes a Christian. Life proves a Christian. Trial confirms a Christian. Death crowns a Christian.” Annonymous
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2/3/2007 9:59 pm |
that is a good question and I think it all depends on the couple involved because some people can handle sharing secrets of a sordid past and others cannot..sometimes there can be a point to sharing such information depending upon the circumstances..I think couples need to practice wisdom, discernment and probably discretion on this matter.
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2/3/2007 10:03 pm |
I think there is a time and place to disclose ones past with the key words being: Time & Place. I see too many people on here who blurt out every intimate detail of their past lives, for all to see, and in the process they may be scaring away a potential mate. I am guilty of it myself with the convict stuff, but I haven't been on here to find a mate and am not worried what others think of me. But if I were, I would keep my past mine until I was sure the person in my life was the one for me. Then and only then would I give full disclosure of my past. But even then it is not necessary to give every nitty gritty detail. I just feel a relationship should be based on trust and if you can't disclose your past then you don't trust and the relationship is doomed. Trust is everything!!!!
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 2/3/2007 10:05 pm |
Unless the past affects the future, then no - noone has a right to know every detail of your past. The question is: Is there a past that does not affect the future in one way or another? The past forms who and what we are, including our mistakes, and may help others understand us better. But, it's up to each individual to decide on the if, when, how and the details of disclosure. Why the question, Rod? God bless, G Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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2/3/2007 10:55 pm |
Hey great question Rod... But first thing first Go Bears!!!!! Ok, hey I have been learning that transparency can draw hearts closer together..pray on it,..but what do I know?.... Thanks Rod And Again Go Bears!!!!!
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2/3/2007 11:35 pm |
I most definitely agree with godsgirl1554. HONESTY... Which can also be construed as a key to nurturing ones past in forgiveness, to ones present of acceptance, and carried over into ones future for the happiness they seek to have in their life. Alone, or with a mate. God Bless, Ron A loving spirit within... Ron
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2/4/2007 1:54 am |
If bringing back the past could glorify God, there's nothing wrong talking about it. When we testify for God, we usually compare our past life to present, on how God changed our lives. ......means, we are no longer living with it, but have learned from it. " We are fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:14a
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2/4/2007 5:08 am |
I used to think that we should tell others about the past but I do not think that way any longer. In Romans 6 it says we are 'buried' in Baptism, as in the old man of sin is DEAD... Dont talk bad about the dead That is past history, it is who you were before becoming a Christian. It wasnt the person God designed you to be. The key I believe, is that any one of us can sink way way down into the pits of sin if we are not clinging to Jesus. It was a Pharisee that said "Thank God I am not as other men"... Well you know what? He COULD BE! Just give him some time, with that attitude. So it isnt as if we need to 'humble' ourselves before others and spill everything about our former self. And if God casts all our past sins into the depths of the sea then why shouldnt we? Do we not believe? I would think that if your past mattered to someone, a potential mate, then he or she might not be worth getting involved with in the first place. Because let me tell you something, the Apostle Paul said that "when I am weak then I am strong". If you had the kind of past that caused you to fall into sin because of your great weaknesses... weaknesses that were caused by bad childhood experiences, etc... then when you find out about Jesus and you learn to cling to Him, YOU can become the strong one. And many times it is they who have the worst weaknesses that become the strongest for that very reason. We should be testifying about what God is doing in our lives NOW! Not some old stale, repeated story of what He did for you in the past, 20 years ago. Claudia Its Just Me.
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2/4/2007 5:44 am |
Well Rod we overcome by out testimonies and we all came from somewhere. And yes the former things have passed away and our slate is clean once we accept Christ as Lord and ruler of our life and he has created us a new creature in him. I think it's ok to tell where Jesus took us from it's freedom and strength to us. And I also believe it's good for us especially in bad times to recall how HE has kept us. As far as a potential mate leaving our guts all over their lap isn't necessary, but if truth, trust and honesty are indeed in the relationship and you feel safe with each other then I don't see any harm if you want to say something. Besides some people may have a past hurt they need to release talking it out is the best release when you're with someone that won't judge you but love you through it. And one more thing: GO COLTS!!!! LYNNIE 
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2/4/2007 7:25 am |
I think that being open and honest with a future spouse is good.. and we should.. but I still think that there are things in my past, or even in the 'now' that aren't wise to share with a spouse!.. as I said in the post maybe I'm wrong and our spouse should know everything.. Our past can be used against us, even by a spouse in moment of anger.. (and that can hurt a lot) or in how they think we are going to react in a certain situation.. they may not trust us to do what is right or needed.. .. and maybe it is different for men and women!.. (just thinking out loud here).. a man needs to be strong and a leader.. a women looks to the man for protection and security.. and if she see's a weakness in him, or in his past will she trust him to give her what she needs in the relationship?.. Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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2/4/2007 7:58 am |
Pray for wisdom...some things are better not said and some may be disclosed in time and season... Re: your comment just above...hmm isn't she his rib...to complete him?..if he is strong alllll the time...is there anything to complete then...just thinking out loud too...showing weakness and how he overcomes it may be a strength...hmmm...not sure of answers  ...back to you..Man can make many plans...BUT it is the Lord who will direct his paths....
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2/4/2007 8:57 am |
SECURITY and PROTECTION.. I love those words After reading what Rod just said, I was thinking, by telling whoever might be your future spouse all about your past, you could be giving Satan the entering wedge to be able to plant in your spouse's mind things that may be just totally unapplicable to you now that you are a different person. Like say for instance (not that I have done this) but... what if you went around cheating on your ex-husband or your ex-wife? then you tell your potential mate that? Well even though that may have been before you became a Christian and completely "not you" anymore, still, you are giving the Devil the opportunity to have your spouse mistrust you from then on, even though it may be completely unwarranted. That could cause all sorts of problems down the road and you may not even be able to figure out what was the cause of it! Claudia Its Just Me.
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2/4/2007 9:07 am |
Pray for wisdom...some things are better not said and some may be disclosed in time and season... Re: your comment just above...hmm isn't she his rib...to complete him?..if he is strong alllll the time...is there anything to complete then...just thinking out loud too...showing weakness and how he overcomes it may be a strength...hmmm...not sure of answers ...back to you....all I can do is speak from what experience I have had.. and I know that when I had shared some fears and faults that I have had in my past and in the 'now', it changed the relationship.. I am sure its not the same for everyone or every situation!... .. and may not even be 'sins' of the past.. it could be the 'failures', 'fears', 'regrets'.. that we may have, or made!.. I just think that it might be best to keep them inside of us and keep it between God and us.. yet if we feel led by the Holy Spirit to share anything in our life with anyone then we need to do it.. Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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2/4/2007 10:16 am |
Rod, if getting to know you better--sharing your fears, faults, failures, regrets--changes the relationship, perhaps it is better to find that out before that relationship turns into marriage. When you find the person who can handle YOU, all of YOU, your strengths and your weaknesses, your fears, your successes and your failures, then you have found a person who loves you with the only kind of love that is going to last. Blessings, Merry Only the soul that knows the mighty grief can know the mighty rapture. Sorrows come to stretch out spaces in the heart for joy. ~Edwin Markham~
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2/4/2007 11:33 am |
Merry.. I understand what you are saying, but is that reality?... I know it sounds good, and it seems to be the right way to be!.. but if we are honest with ourselves don't we ALL judge by the way someone looks, or by their experiences in life... .. take for instance do we approach the pastor in the same way we might approach a young adult at church?.. or a doctor and a nurse?.. or how about a person of means compared to a person that may be poor?.. and like would someone act differently in someones home that is valued $800,000 to someone that lives in a older mobile home that would maybe have no value to it?.. I would like to think that we would all treat all these situations and people the same, but the truth most people will not.. Does that make them 'bad people' for thinking that way, and not worthy of having a relationship with?... maybe it does, but did they really get to know that person before they dumped all of that 'past' on them?.. maybe if they would have waited and let them know who they really are in Christ the past would have not made much difference!.. ..again!.. I could be all wrong here.. I'm just thinking out load, and hoping you guys can help me to see clearly about this!... Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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2/4/2007 3:00 pm |
What a tricky question for sure. As I have read down, everyone's comments, the questions, there are a lot of things to be considered. I have heard many Godly people counsul about NOT sharing intimate details of your life with just anyone. How much to tell depends on how well you know them and if they are in a "need to know" position with you. And if they have earned your trust. Also you need to consider if telling them would do more harm than good, would it edify them or hurt them? Are they mature enough to handle it? Maybe sharing the "generals" about your life and what God brought you out of is better than the "specifics", unless you have a child adopted out somewhere that shows up unexpectedly, that would need to be revealed. I would want to know something like that before marrying someone. Personally, what someone did BC (before Christ) is under the blood and not an issue anymore, especially if the behaviour has changed. I could hear anything BC and it wouldn't bother me. However, what happens AD (after death in Christ), that matters, that counts. If someone persists in BC behavior AD, then...welllllll....that I would have to think long and hard about. Don't know if any of my thoughts helped you or just confused the issue. But a lot depends on the maturity level of the one you are thinking of marrying.
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2/4/2007 3:20 pm |
People do see others differently, depending on externals such as the way we look, dress, act, how much money we have, etc. I think everyone tends to judge based on these impressions, until they get to know the person better. Some people can't get past first impressions. (And if the first impression you make on someone is a "front"--not really who you are, then you are left with the need to keep up your front, become who you pretended to be, or confess that you really aren't who they thought you were.) Would you become a different person if you had an accident that left you blind or disfigured? Would you become a different person if you won the lottery? Would a woman become a different person if she were raped? I'm not sure... Your relationship to others would change because the externals of your life would be different, but you would be extremely blessed if you had friends or family who would see you as essentially the same person you were before the external things changed. Think of who you are with all the "externals" stripped away. Think of the people who went to prison or concentration camps during WWII, and had absolutely nothing external. All they had left was their character. They were tested in the fire--some came through it as gold, and others burned up like dross. Your character, who you really are inside, is what is important. Perhaps I'm losing the thread here. Everything that happens in our lives affects us in some way. We become who we are partly because of the experiences we've gone through. I am a different person because I lived for 20 years with an abusive mate. I am not as trusting, as open, as light-hearted and cheerful as I once was. But suffering has deepened my empathy for others who suffer. I am quieter, quicker to listen than to speak, apt to look deeper into a person instead of accepting what I see on the surface as the "real thing." One of the things I really appreciate about blogging on BC is that I am getting acquainted with people based less on the externals such as appearance, wealth, social status, occupation, etc. We are learning to know each others' hearts first. Well, I am being a blog hog, but this is a great thread. Thanks, Rod, for exploring it with us! Merry Blessings, Merry Only the soul that knows the mighty grief can know the mighty rapture. Sorrows come to stretch out spaces in the heart for joy. ~Edwin Markham~
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2/4/2007 6:11 pm |
Hello there Rod ....I have had this happen to me.What direction the Lord has taken with me regarding the past is...tell the truth as friends not going into Blow by blow detail, it does give Satin ahold sometimes when we go into such detail. Are the minor details important to the story of the past?Yes we are ALL judged by one another...once again thats our sin nature.A big surprise about the past when you think someone is"the own for me" can crush your heart ...tell you story upfront then its not a MAIN EVENT..your Salvation IS..Blessings
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2/4/2007 6:22 pm |
Rod I think you maybe should talk about it one time so the other person knows where are coming from. after that don't mention it again. Pat........Rod do you have someone in mind..huh huh?
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2/4/2007 6:27 pm |
hmmmm Im thinking of Saul who became Paul and how much of his past he talked about. Thinking if there are some Bible characters who told about their past and what effect that had. Its Just Me.
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2/4/2007 7:03 pm |
Rod I think you maybe should talk about it one time so the other person knows where are coming from. after that don't mention it again. Pat........Rod do you have someone in mind..huh huh? Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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2/4/2007 7:09 pm |
Hello there Rod ....I have had this happen to me.What direction the Lord has taken with me regarding the past is...tell the truth as friends not going into Blow by blow detail, it does give Satin ahold sometimes when we go into such detail. Are the minor details important to the story of the past?Yes we are ALL judged by one another...once again thats our sin nature.A big surprise about the past when you think someone is"the own for me" can crush your heart ...tell you story upfront then its not a MAIN EVENT..your Salvation IS.. BlessingsLife is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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2/4/2007 7:35 pm |
Did you guys ever watch the movie 'Sallow Hal"?.. I watched it the other night and to tell you the truth this post reminds me of that movie a little.. lol ..well maybe kinda the opposite of it!.. lol Hal could only see the outer beauty of someone, and not take the time to get to know the inner person and see how great they really are or aren't!.. ..when we share the 'uglies of our past'.. that maybe all that someone can see!.. and not even take the chance to get to know the 'beauties of us now'.. I'm not really trying to prove a point here.. and I like the conversation going on here (and Merry your NOT bloghogging.. lol) Priscilla did a post not long ago about 'abusing Gods grace" and I think that many of us Christians do that by allowing our past to control our future..God has forgiven us.. who the heck do we think we are by bringing up past sins to allow us to not be seen as Christ has made us.. 'pure and holy'.. ..and I think that many of you are right that we do need to 'confess' our past to our future spouse, but lets wait tell we 'know' that their the one God wants us to be with... and that takes time, time time, time.. Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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2/4/2007 7:37 pm |
hmmmm Im thinking of Saul who became Paul and how much of his past he talked about. Thinking if there are some Bible characters who told about their past and what effect that had. Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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2/4/2007 8:23 pm |
Did you guys ever watch the movie 'Sallow Hal"?.. I watched it the other night and to tell you the truth this post reminds me of that movie a little.. lol ..well maybe kinda the opposite of it!.. lol Hal could only see the outer beauty of someone, and not take the time to get to know the inner person and see how great they really are or aren't!.. ..when we share the 'uglies of our past'.. that maybe all that someone can see!.. and not even take the chance to get to know the 'beauties of us now'.. I'm not really trying to prove a point here.. and I like the conversation going on here (and Merry your NOT bloghogging.. lol) Priscilla did a post not long ago about 'abusing Gods grace" and I think that many of us Christians do that by allowing our past to control our future..God has forgiven us.. who the heck do we think we are by bringing up past sins to allow us to not be seen as Christ has made us.. 'pure and holy'.. ..and I think that many of you are right that we do need to 'confess' our past to our future spouse, but lets wait tell we 'know' that their the one God wants us to be with... and that takes time, time time, time.. Okay now please go ahead and discuss... I'll just check back for the comments.... And no I have never ever been a man!! LOL And I have the birth certificate to prove it.
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2/4/2007 8:54 pm |
Waiting till you are for sure the other person is going to honor Gods forgiveness is the key to this. Sharing the past is good,However we do need to be 100% sure the other can handle Gods forgiveness. We should not let our past poison our future. Or the future of others. Good post Rod. Your sister in Christ Jenn 
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2/4/2007 9:22 pm |
Okay I am just throwing this out there to stir things up a bit and perhaps I have just watched way too many talk shows when I was sick last week. But aren't there some things you would want to know about someone before you even considered them for marriage... like if they have had a \bsexo?\b change or a serious deadly or communiable disease? Okay now please go ahead and discuss... I'll just check back for the comments.... And no I have never ever been a man!! LOL And I have the birth certificate to prove it. Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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2/4/2007 9:27 pm |
Waiting till you are for sure the other person is going to honor Gods forgiveness is the key to this. Sharing the past is good,However we do need to be 100ure the other can handle Gods forgiveness. We should not let our past poison our future. Or the future of others. Good post Rod. .. how are you doing?.. have you been running any Amuck's lately?.. lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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2/5/2007 12:10 am |
Oh Rod sweety you would have a chance with jennifer. don't put yourself down..she would do well to get you.... hugs pat
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2/5/2007 3:29 am |
I was wondering!.. No I don't have a deep secrete past.. lol do you?..lol ..just kidding!..
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2/5/2007 4:24 am |
ROTFL... I concede, you have proved your point.. lol
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2/5/2007 5:55 am |
being a truth/commitment freak......I would lean towards no secrets...........but lots of praying would come first.......raising handicapped kids has exposed me to way more than you can imagine......rcmp serious crime squad, school suspensions, multiple child protection investigations and my friends still love us..... Susan because I have a Shepherd, I know love and goodness
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2/5/2007 6:34 am |
Rod, Thats really funny, Rod... LOL! I hadnt thought of that, I wonder if thats what happened? Maybe he just couldnt figure out why he couldnt get a date. And all along it was just because he didnt realize that he shouldnt of been divulging his past mistakes. And so then he decides he had better declare that "Okay it's good to be single". Now Im imaginging all the ladies going, "A former murderer?" ..then backing away sloooooowly from Paul... It could be that we are the only people in the whole world that know the real background story that is behind all of this... I think Im beginning to lean back toward your point of view again now.. Claudia Its Just Me.
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2/5/2007 6:54 am |
Rod, Okay I think Ive got it! I was thinking about this and I think it all has to do with self confidence or lack thereof. One person can tell someone else all about their past and just kind of subconsciously wait to be rejected, while another person can tell someone else all about their past but project the self confidence that "this isnt who I am now" and that more than likely could make all the difference. But then again now Im thinking of when those guys threw that woman caught in adultery at Jesus' feet and He said "Go and sin no more". That was all that mattered. Its not like people ought to have to be forced to wear a "Scarlet Letter A" on their shirt the rest of their lives... or whatever letter would apply to their past.. Claudia Its Just Me.
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2/5/2007 8:59 am |
Okay I am just throwing this out there to stir things up a bit and perhaps I have just watched way too many talk shows when I was sick last week. But aren't there some things you would want to know about someone before you even considered them for marriage... like if they have had a \bsexo?\b change or a serious deadly or communiable disease? Okay now please go ahead and discuss... I'll just check back for the comments.... And no I have never ever been a man!! LOL And I have the birth certificate to prove it.  LYNNIE
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2/5/2007 9:18 am |
OKAY.....I'm going to tell it like it is And yeah some things are better left unsaid, it's usually the ($)ex stuff, how many and all that unneccessary stuff. Now, I think the key is for you or anyone is that, are you over the past things? Whether it be sin or failure or whatever negative thing you encountered? God uses our past as a ministry to others. You may have gone through something horrific in your life and never ever would want anyone to know. Well that awful thing could be a blessing to someone else. That they are not the only ones that went through that. And yeah a potential mate could be struggling with that. And we are to judge a person by their fruits not anything else. That's God's business there. Another key would be, are you mature enough to handle it, whatever it is. I know in my journey's and walks with God nothing at all would surprise me. And then there's the self-esteem/confidence thing that if you did tell someone of your past after it left your mouth would you think to yourself...Oh no I shouldn't have said that, and start freaking out? Look Rod the woman you are destined to be with would not flinch a nose hair if you were inclined to tell your past. Sometimes an opportunity will arise with someone that you need to minister to something you experienced and forgot about. Your potential wife might say, Rod how did you know that? You never told me that-lol Well you could tell her then. Timing I think is another key, if the situation arises. I remember one time I told this guy some stuff about me and his jaw hit the floor and bounced. Never in a million years would he have thought. BUT that is great how God changed me SOOOOOO much I am not the same and never will be. That makes me feel good inside, ya know what I mean? OK I've blabbed enough LYNNIE
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2/5/2007 10:32 am |
You know, Rod, if someone wants to think the worst of you they will regardless of what you say. Although I had no deep dark secrets, my ex- twisted everything I said around and created a whole new fantasy story to fit in with his anger, to justify his actions. It does come down to security: will the person in front of you value you as a human being, regardless of your strengths and frailties? And this value we put on individuals comes with involvement, when we have experiences together that intertwine our lives. As we come to love and respect them, we gradually start excusing many of their frailties, and/or help them with it. As my mum says, we use the "eyes of love" to look at each other! In my opinion, there is a right time and place for everything. Only those things that may impact the future are the ones that you really must be up-front about. All other things depend on whether you feel you want to share it or not. My humble opinion God bless, G “Faith makes a Christian. Life proves a Christian. Trial confirms a Christian. Death crowns a Christian.” Annonymous
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2/5/2007 5:06 pm |
Thanks Jen.. Caffe has proved that there are some things that just need to be shared right away and upfront.. lol .. how are you doing?.. have you been running any Amuck's lately?.. lol amucks locked up. Thy be real tired of running in circles.lol Jenn Your sister in Christ Jenn
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2/6/2007 4:13 pm |
Hey, sweetie! If you want my personal opinion, it's between you and God. If you feel comfortable telling and God has giving you the go ahead then the people that love you are going to love you no matter what and those who dont need to take it to the man upstairs because it's their problem, NOT YOURS! There are some things that one is morally and sometimes legally obligated to communicate to others, such as contagious diseases that they may have or be carriers of, whether they be transmitted through intimacy or not. And like firecracker has made obvious other things obviously should be shared. I would personally want to know if someone has EVER participated in a homosexual relationship, EVER used drugs where they shared a needle with someone else, EVER had a blood transfusion. All of these things could show up eventually as HIV, Aids and who knows what else. I have shared a lot about my past with a lot of people and some condemn me for it. But many who have suffered similar things have come to me and shared with me their experiences and together we have grown stronger, leaned on one another during hard times and opened the door for still others to find help and comfort. What it all boils down to, Rod, is doing what is right for you, what you feel comfortable with and what is edifying for yourself and others. The Bible says in Ec 3:1 "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:". I cannot help but think that this means that God will let you know when and if He wishes for you to reveal a thing and to whom. Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand 
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2/6/2007 5:59 pm |
Hey, sweetie! If you want my personal opinion, it's between you and God. If you feel comfortable telling and God has giving you the go ahead then the people that love you are going to love you no matter what and those who dont need to take it to the man upstairs because it's their problem, NOT YOURS! There are some things that one is morally and sometimes legally obligated to communicate to others, such as contagious diseases that they may have or be carriers of, whether they be transmitted through intimacy or not. And like firecracker has made obvious other things obviously should be shared. I would personally want to know if someone has EVER participated in a homosexual relationship, EVER used drugs where they shared a needle with someone else, EVER had a blood transfusion. All of these things could show up eventually as HIV, Aids and who knows what else. I have shared a lot about my past with a lot of people and some condemn me for it. But many who have suffered similar things have come to me and shared with me their experiences and together we have grown stronger, leaned on one another during hard times and opened the door for still others to find help and comfort. What it all boils down to, Rod, is doing what is right for you, what you feel comfortable with and what is edifying for yourself and others. The Bible says in Ec 3:1 "To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:". I cannot help but think that this means that God will let you know when and if He wishes for you to reveal a thing and to whom. ..it's good to see ya anyways.. lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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2/7/2007 3:39 pm |
Hey Girl.. I don't see that HAT... lol ..it's good to see ya anyways.. lol Ephesians 6:13 . . .and having done all, to stand
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2/8/2007 2:55 pm |
Yes... I want to know a person's past - but not in great detail. I think the time to ask or to share about your past is when/if you start talking about having an exclusive dating relationship ( courtship ) with marriage clearly stated as a possibility. Very important to me is how long ago in the past and what have you done since then? I want to know that a person is living in Christ and dedicated to obedience to God going into the future. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness..." Matt 6:33.
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2/12/2007 4:35 pm |
I think that being open and honest with a future spouse is good.. and we should.. but I still think that there are things in my past, or even in the 'now' that aren't wise to share with a spouse!.. as I said in the post maybe I'm wrong and our spouse should know everything.. Our past can be used against us, even by a spouse in moment of anger.. (and that can hurt a lot) or in how they think we are going to react in a certain situation.. they may not trust us to do what is right or needed.. .. and maybe it is different for men and women!.. (just thinking out loud here).. a man needs to be strong and a leader.. a women looks to the man for protection and security.. and if she see's a weakness in him, or in his past will she trust him to give her what she needs in the relationship?..
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