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soaringwithchris
(stephen m. )
67M

6/29/2007 4:07 am

Yes, it is possible to have a lasting female friendship. Just like a male to male friendship You have to be able to have fun with her, laughing , joking, reaching out, including her in your life. After a while she is "one of the guys". A woman I was once in a relationship with and I are still close friends even though she is engaged to be married. She usually calls every few days. To go to "another level" is usually something that just happens, not the rsquosex part but the adult intimate part.
CUlater, Pat.

Half a Boy/Half a Man? Some women like us that way.

Soaring with Christ


firefromheaven
(firefromheaven )
68M

6/29/2007 4:13 am

Do you mean like Plate-tonic Shifts?


Indescribeable 65F
8057 posts
6/29/2007 5:27 am

Absolutely! Women are naturally more feeling oriented and we have a deep desire for communication where I believe men are definitely more visual, I would encourage modest attire, it will help in the respect part, which we are commanded to have. Also, it is helpful to not sit right next to them.

(¯`•♥•´¯) ¤`•.♥.•´ ¤ (¯`•♥•´¯)


amosalpha 69M
220 posts
6/29/2007 7:07 am

Ha, ha, that is such a great poll, most of my friends whom I counsel with many of their problems here in Thailand are mostly brokenhearted married/divorced as well as single women. They also became my very close friends. They know I am married and have a wonderful fulfilled marriage and wife.
As we are still humans it is for sure very very tempting to bypass the borders of Agape love and S...relationship. This is one of those controversial issues, when there is total love and understanding and sparks for each other, will God being such a great and loving and being love itself see it as one of the deadly sins to cross that line??? Is God really such a "Judger of man"??
Anyway Appreciate sister how are you? love to have you as one of my deeper friends, that is in the same frequency with the Lord's Spirit and Love without having to cross the "great sinful line" and we can share anything that is a bit deeper.


amosalpha 69M
220 posts
6/29/2007 7:11 am

Ewe, busyskydad, indescribable, and soaringwithchris have all shed many different angles that are all so true.


nickleB
(nicholas benefield)
51M

6/29/2007 12:12 pm

My closest friend is someone elses wife which is not simple,but then having a "best friend" who is single and looking as am i would be difficult.God opens doors so does satan,he knows which ones to open for men for sure!


his4ever2006 72F

6/29/2007 12:16 pm

I met my best friend about 11 years ago at work and I couldnt ask for a better friend. We have been through some really good times together and some really bad and tough times together, the important thing is we were there for each other and made it through. We go to movies, to dinner, even on overnite trips together. My best friend is a man. We have never crossed that fine line that goes from friendship to romantic relationship nor have we thought of it. From the moment we met we knew we were destined to be just best friends. I thank God for putting this person in my life and I pray that if and when I do meet the person to be my life partner that he will become best friends with my best friend also.

We shall live thru the long procession of day's before us and thru the long evenings.....we shall patiently bare trials that fate imposes upon us.


ms_littlething07 67F

6/29/2007 3:52 pm

Hi Pat! Over the years I have have had some awesome men friends, who were simply that, friends. They expected nothing more from me, I expected nothing more from them and there was this mutual love and respect that made our friendships so special. Unfortunately it isnt easy to hold on to a platonic friendship when each of you begins a man/woman relationship with someone else, unless both belong to a couple coz it could cause a shift in balance, which doesnt always have a positive outcome. I look back on these friendships with warmth and learned so much from these awesome men, more than had they been lovers.

PENELOPE
"For I know the Plans I have for you, declares the Lord" Jer 29:11


ICorinthians13 66F
617 posts
7/1/2007 12:28 am

Definitely men and women can have platonic friendships. Personally, I have always found men easier to get along with than women...women tend to be drama queens. (No offense to the women who aren't) And men--at least in my experience--know how to keep a confidence. Women sometimes talk a little too much.
The difficulties come in when we hear in the world( on t.v.,movies, etc. that if a man and woman are going to be close, they're going to end up in bed. That doesn't have to be the way it is.
Also, when the man or woman in the platonic friendship is married, the mate might not understand the friendship, so adjustments have to be made.


nickleB
(nicholas benefield)
51M

7/1/2007 3:41 am

Ive met a lot of single women over the last couple of years,i got very good at dating to the point of becoming someone i didnt like,like a compulsive dater.and it took me a long time to realise that.
Instead of thinking every one could be "the one"im now happy to let God take care of things,the more female friends i have the better it is for my father/daughter relationships.It has been uplifting to be able to have female friends because before, i looked with "date tinted glasses".
im truly blessed.and that is rambling


Saphire3 56F
66 posts
7/2/2007 5:07 am

Thanks for this question and my answer is definitely yes! I love my girl friends but I truly treasure my male friends which are even closer and more constructive.
I've always wondered why I find my adult male friends so practical and beneficial. Even when the sparks are there and acknowledged for what they are, but ignored for the sake of a friendship; I've found that there can still exist a real love and concern one for another that stands the test of time and brings to the relationship a respect for each other that keeps the friendship going for longer than it would have otherwise. Some girl-friends are prone to jealousy, rumormongering and petty issues that are rare with the men-friends and that is a relief.

Jude 24-25. Amen!


seatedwhim 56M

7/2/2007 8:48 am

It is possible but many times however the reason for the Platonic understanding is to avoid anything serious but in the back of their head a little loving is not completely out of the picture much less the lust and the flirting.
Avoid all appearance of evil. Women should really be friends with women and men with men. Only when two people love each other and seek marriage should the friendship of the opposite s ex be desired.
We live in a liberal world where everything goes I guess.


nickleB
(nicholas benefield)
51M

7/2/2007 2:52 pm

seatedwhim you are completely right.


psalm91v11
(joann c)
50F

7/2/2007 10:16 pm

From personal experience I am unsure what the answer would be to yr quesion. I have a great male friend and have had for 16yrs. We were romantically involved for about 8 of those. He is with someone else now and I do miss his friendship a lot, however any time we meet up there is that same desire for each other. I think if we hadn't have dated we would have grown apart anyhow.


saintroxii
(Marsha-Gaye Taylor)
44F

7/3/2007 5:26 pm

I recently wrote a blog addressing partially this same issue. I would send wink and the guy would automatically think I was looking for a husband! I had one guy reply, Oh "I'm sorry I'm too busy to be friends, hope you find what your looking for". I was livid, but i guess he didn't like what he saw. Some of us can be friends with the opposite sex, not everything has to be a romantic involvement. Some of my best friends are male!

ps
I've stopped sending winks!
Bless!

Marsha


calvarygrad 70F
480 posts
7/6/2007 10:11 am

Like so many of us I have had male friends and hope to have male friends here at BC. When I married after a number of years being single I felt it was more appropriate to let go of those friendships. I felt it was disrespectful to my husband because he was my best friend and I didn't want to trouble him or create any ambiguity where fidelity is concerned. I think people can, and I have had, emotional affairs. One day I heard the term and realized I had been guilty of that. I tend to avoid any appearance of that now. I enjoy talking to men in structured settings such as a group or at church. I cherish the male point of view. As a widow, as I know you are, I approach men tentatively. I'm afraid of not being pretty enough, charming enough, young enough. I'm afraid something might work out and I'll lose another one. Could I stand that? Am I willing to risk it? I don't know. There's so much involved, isn't there? Above all, I think I should be honest with myself about my own motives because God requires me to value my brothers and sisters in Christ. Talk about rambling!!


calvarygrad 70F
480 posts
7/6/2007 10:18 am

    Quoting  :

Let me guess: a man told you that, didn't he? I hate surprises like finding a man thought there was "more" or a "chance." Worse, though, I've had surprises from clergy, counselors, family friends!!! This was in my 20's, though, and I'm older and wiser.


puppylove_2u

7/6/2007 11:18 am

I voted yes...and I know that some people out there DO disagree (I've been in more than one heated debate about it). There are many kinds of affection, inho, and friendship is only one way to show it. I have male friends (ok, I've many male friends...grinning) whom I enjoy showing affection too....some are EXTREMELY platonic, some are somewhat platonic (meaning we are very close with some light teasing flirtation going on but we both know nothing physical is ever really gonna happen, they might be way not my type for a relationship...perhaps, not even close to being the right age, location, etc. but I love them nonetheless)...

Friends come to us as a gift from God...a path to intertwine with either for a short time, a lengthy time or for an eternity. They are a soul which reaches us on a core level. We are given the opportunity to be blessed BY them, be a blessing TO them and to be a treasure to one another regardless of the time spent interacting...to me that is what a friend is...a soul that touches mine.

Shelley


Rachey 36F

7/6/2007 3:14 pm

Yup deff possible as i had a friendship once like that!! He was a really good friend and at one time we were really close and chatted about anything and everything. At one time we were as close as me and my best girl friend were!! It kinda proved that guy/girl friendships worked because we would spend loads of time together just the 2 of us like chilling in the house as well as out shopping, meals, movies and stuff. Although i did really like him i knew deep down nothing would come out of it and in a way that made the friendship more special. We literally did everything friends would do and the thing was in the end others didnt realise we were just friends and jumped to conclusions. Sadly we are not really in contact anymore due to him moving away but girl/guy friendships deff work and i thank God for the friendship i had then as it helped me through a lot of stuff!!


songbird1951
(Robyn B)
72F
1526 posts
7/7/2007 1:58 pm

I think it is doable. I have heard many men tell me it is not easy, and near impossible, for a man to be just friends with a woman, and many would not bother. They stated if a man was interested enough to be friends with a woman, then he was interested (attracted) period. Don't know if I would agree with that, it was just some men's opinions. I have not had male friends, per se. Some that I tried to be friends with did not want friendship and I didn't want anything else. Tricky to say the least. So maybe there is some truth to these male comments I received.


DixieMedic
(Melissa Anthony)
51F
40 posts
7/7/2007 6:25 pm

Yes, it's possible. I have a male friend who is like an older brother to me, so much so that he considers me an adopted sister. But we both know (and agree to) the fact that there is nothing beyond that.


Italian_sister
(Pat I)
69F
1788 posts
7/8/2007 10:07 am

Pat, I'd like to share my experience. I have had a male best friend since 9th grade. It started out with him trying to date me. I was not interested in him romantically, so I worked at making him a friend instead. We have been through a lot of life's ups and downs together. He lives in Florida and I am still in Michigan, where we met. My ex husband was leary of this relationship at first, but once he meet Larry and saw our relationship, he had no problems with it. We have done things together with our spouses when we were both married. He calls me for advice in his relationships and I cherish his friendship. I have had other male friends, but Larry will always be at the top of the heap.


Ibelieve1979
(lynne B)
62F
92 posts
7/8/2007 8:20 pm

Hi-

I loved the question.

I know each friendship (2 women, 2 men, a man and a woman etc.) is so individual and personal there may be no universal answer or truth. For me, I have experienced successful man/woman friendships. The key for me is to be sure of my feelings and the man's feelings before entering friendship.
Does it make sense to others that a friendship is healthy and good only if both folks are not hoping for a romantic relationship to develop?
Please let me know what you think! I am wrestling with being friends with a past romantic relationship. I appreciate your thoughts!
Ibelieve1979


puppylove_2u

7/13/2007 1:50 am

    Quoting  :

wondering...WHY?...would sparks fly?? With 95% of people I interact with, there are NEVER sparks...


walking_in_faith 48F

7/18/2007 2:24 pm

I have had guy best friends. One of them is who brought me to christ. We have since gone seperate ways, he's married, but our friendship was a great friendship. Now with another experience I had a guy friend who ended up wanting more and it was too much pressure for me, I didn't feel it back, and he ditched me.


Purhearted 45F

12/11/2012 1:27 am

Have a pure platonic relationship, yeah! live in the same house NOPE!
Men and women are created differently and no one can tell me that we are alike. No one can know the heart of another human being apart from God, so, how will you be sure that the other person is not harboring other un-platonic feelings. He advises us to be wise, perfect as he is (God)and as men and women of God, how can we be that, if we allow any form of temptation to sorround us?


How many times do we miss God's blessings because they are not
packaged as we expected?


Stillagentleman 57M

12/16/2012 9:24 pm

Yes, they can, I have a lot of friends that are woman. But, like what was mentioned earlier, men are visual and sometimes vulnerable as well.


bohuspilt 64M

12/25/2012 11:48 pm

From my experience it is possible, but only when both are involved in functional romantic relationships. (I assume they are of more or less equal age)

If one or both of their romantic relationships ends or crises, friendship may turn to love. I think it is more likely than not.