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 | Blogs > reallysaved > From Where I Sit > Decide What You Want in a Spouse Before You Start!!!!!!!!!! |
Decide What You Want in a Spouse Before You Start!!!!!!!!!!
4/11/2006 1:07 pmLast Read: |
When God first started telling me that He wanted me to get married again, He pointed out the qualities that He wanted me to look for in the men who crossed my path. He did not want me to waste lots of time, energy and emotion on men who weren't right for me. I made a list of those traits He wanted me to look for. If a man does not meet all these requirements, then I am not to meet him in person and I am to remove him from the "possibilities" list in my head. Here is the list that He gave me: 1. He loves the Lord more than he does anything else in His life. 2. The Lord’s will is his will. He is totally committed to doing what God wants him to do. He does not go his own way in any area of his life. 3. He is Spirit-filled. 4. He is in full-time ministry or called to full-time ministry. 5. He shares my vision for ministry. 6. He is not a new Christian. 7. He is committed to celibacy until marriage. He is willing to go as far as I am before marriage when it comes to physical intimacy – holding hands, hugging, kissing on the lips, but no necking. 8. He is a man of honor and integrity. 9. I find him physically attractive. 10. We get along well. I urge each of you to make your own list and stick to it as you navigate the treacherous waters of dating. It won't be the same as mine, but that is okay. Just know what you are looking for and dismiss those who don't measure up to it. You will save yourself lots of heartache and wasted time if you do. Be blessed! |
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4/11/2006 2:56 pm |
Amen! I did a similar list before the Lord and prayed about it. God gave me confirmation on everything with Jessica. I pray God will give you the same in your life. May He bless you so.
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4/11/2006 3:59 pm |
Are you sure we need to make our own list? Yours looks great to me! You know, one of the things that makes me a good computer programmer is that I rarely start from scratch. In other words, why re-create the wheel if someone else has already created something you can use?  Here's another suggestion for whoever reads this post, male or female, previously married or not: Get (and read) the book, Finding the Love of Your Life by Neil Clark Warren. Dr. Warren is a Christian psychologist and noted relationship expert. You've probably seen him on tv if you watch much tv at all. He's the gray-haired 60-ish gentleman who advertises another well-known relationship web-site (the one he founded). My personal opinion of the book is that it is a "must read" for anyone desiring to be married. The only thing negatively I have to say about it is that it should have been entitled, How to Know When You've Found the Person You Should Marry, but then I guess all that might not fit on the front cover.  One of the things it talks about is having an inner image of the person you know you will fit best with. And this, in effect, is what you are doing, Jean, by making the list. I'm on the same page with you, my new friend. Thanks for another great post! 
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4/11/2006 4:19 pm |
I have a feeling you will receive that someday too
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4/11/2006 5:45 pm |
Amen, sister. I have my own list too. How do you know what you want and how do you pray if you don't have a clue. God answers in details. Ultimately God knows the details of what we need, but I see a list as a confirmation of my spirit with His Spirit. When I was in college a friend of mine and I both created our list, her's was answered 100% and mine was all but one, but the one that wasn't filled, didn't apply to me anymore at the time either (desire to work with college kids, I was involved in college ministry at the time). My list is specific on character type things, not hair color, eye color or other non important things.
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4/11/2006 6:33 pm |
Well I like your list mine would probably look similiar to yours.
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4/11/2006 6:48 pm |
Thanks for the post and I have a list and someone on here fills it so far. 1. She has to be sold out for the Lord. 2. She accepts me and my daughter as a package deal. 3. She doesn't smoke. 4. She doesn't do drugs. 5. She doesn't drink alcohol 6. No sex before marriage(kissing, holding hands or hugs is OK) 7. Not a Barbie doll but cares about herself to keep herself fit. 8. Able to joke around and not be serious all the time. John
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4/11/2006 6:53 pm |
Great idea Jean! I believed God will never disappoint you. Pray specifically, and let God do the rest. " THEREFORE I TELL YOU, WHATEVER YOU ASK FOR IN PRAYER, BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED IT, and IT WILL BE YOURS." ( MARK 11:24 ) NIV. Bless You! " We are fearfully and wonderfully made." Psalm 139:14a
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4/12/2006 7:24 am |
Wow! We almost have the same list! You can look at my profile for proof! (well, I know in my heart I have the same list...) God bless you!
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4/12/2006 7:46 pm |
Great list Jean after they read the list give them an application and interview them .... that way you will know who really want the job... I am just kidding..... But you have to know what you want he in your mate to know when you see it coming... Gwen
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 4/20/2006 1:10 pm |
Thanks Jean for sharing your list... I have mine posted on my profile as for the IDEAL MATE! It sure is a great guideline and a way to know a person and to find out if he is truly God's will for you. Thanks and great job, glo Teach me your way, O LORD,and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify Your name forever. (Psalm 86:11,12)
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4/24/2006 9:02 am |
Reallysaved, What I liked about your list...was that "features" (height, width,eyes, etc..) was basically not on your list. You did say 9: I find him physically attractive. But...I didn't read into it that "looks" was a priority. I think the heart, soul and mind are so much more important! May God bless your relationship. Linda
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4/24/2006 10:31 am |
Hey I have list too!.. 1. warm 2. breathing 3. crazy about me.... Any of you ladies out there.....  Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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