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How Long Should We Be Together Before Marriage?
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3/16/2006 4:53 pm |
The courtship should last as long as God would have. For example, Isaac got married the first day he met his bride.
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3/16/2006 4:55 pm |
hmmmmm well Jean I dated for seven years....married for 16...divorce is pending..I don't think u really ever get to know a person...a person changes..although I understand the question I am beginning to think that a "mistake" if its going to happen it will regardless of how long...etc.. ♥ Maryann ♥ He Who Kneels Before God Can Stand Before Anyone +++++..... This Is Consuming My Life ....+++++
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3/16/2006 5:05 pm |
It is better to marry than to burn. May have to marry suddenly! Romans 14 verse 5 One person regards one day holier than other days, and another regards them all alike. 3 Each must be fully convinced in his own mind.
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3/16/2006 5:16 pm |
Isaac didn't have to wait because they believed the same already. Dating didn't come about until recently and is for the purpose of allowing two people to mesh since there are so many cultures in the same country. You didn't have this back when Isaac was alive. People's behavior was much different also and they had more humbleness than many of us possess in this day. The attitudes among the people were better towards one another. There is much more to it but this is part of it and also part of the reason that divorce was almost unheard of.
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3/16/2006 6:01 pm |
There are not hard and fast rules with God. I voted for 12-18 months as a "general rule" because I think it takes that long - if you are really trying - to get to know someone. But, that includes dating (getting to know casually) and courtship (getting to know seriously). Then, I think the engagement should be as short as possible once you are sure you want to be married. I think a good book on the subject is The Book of Romance by Tommy Nelson. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness..." Matt 6:33.
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3/16/2006 8:06 pm |
Wow Jean, they all have something really intelligent to say about marriage. I am a widow and after the last 3 years, I would say to really get to each other and their family, and even if they are MR. or MISS Right, there is always the children and grandkids to consider. My mind follows along with heartfeltforyou, as she says if everything is RIGHT, I certainly don't want to burn........" Might be a while though before I get kissed again and here bells ringing everywhere" but those Bells can make you do things you might not want to, You be saying HELP me Jesus and those bells so loud, you don't know if you said it, or thought ask for help. lord, I loved her answer, so truthful!!!! But you have to know each other, Issac probably didn't have as many to pick from as we do, and then there usually weren't any children from a prior marriage or relationship.... but then I wonder if they had some knock down and drag outs those days getting to know each other.... Ser me up on a PANIC alert- I hit 12-18 with Strzr.... Yesterday is past and gone, but tomorrow is forever.
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3/17/2006 5:29 am |
This question has been around for years, and I don't know if any one can give a definite answer, ( I gave 18 - 24 ) give some time, after all the rest of time is supose to be for life. So get to know, and be fair on yor partner and give her/him a fair chance to be sure that you are the tipe of person, and this is where the emphasis should be on, ( your ways she/he can accept for life) they want to spend their rest of their life with. Blessings, Forry.
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3/17/2006 7:46 am |
It is up to God to tell us how long. 1 day or 10 years...doesn't matter.
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3/17/2006 7:43 pm |
I guess I am more cautious than most. I would never marry anyone after knowing them just one day.I sounds romantic, but no. I think also it's the quaility and quantity of time. I've dated people that I never felt I really knew them. I think 3 months is too short. A year is probably long enough.
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3/17/2006 9:11 pm |
Bryan, You seem to like that Isaac 1 day verse, but remember Gen. 29:20-28, Jacob waited 7 years for the wife he didn't want, and 14 for the one he did. I totally agree that there is no set time, in some cases God would have us to wait for whatever reason, and in others He would rather us not "burn"...the key is to listen to His voice and follow it, whether His timing fits into yours or not (I've found it's usually not, but hey I'm stubborn like that). While His timing may not "fit" what we think it should be, it is ALWAYS perfect, never early, never late!
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3/18/2006 9:20 am |
I say 6 years <snicker Jean knows
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3/18/2006 10:45 am |
Peace, Love, Joy... Amen!  "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness..." Matt 6:33.
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3/19/2006 9:09 am |
good post. although i think there is no real answer. i think its different in each situation.but the real problem is that we want god in our relationship many times only after we meet a person.and then wonder why things did not go so well.if you put god first and then start looking for your mate. i think by the word of god that relationship would last.remember when you were a child and all the things you wanted to do but your parents would not let you.and now that you are older. you know it was only for your own good.and you understood why. well then why do we fight god the greatist parent so much.why dont we completly give our search over to god. in every way not just after we meet someone.
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3/19/2006 1:52 pm |
There is no right answer to this. My parents knew each other for 40 days before they married, and they have now been married for 48 years! I also met someone a few years ago who married her husband 3 days after she met him. Last time I spoke with her, they were still married after 23 years! Here are some other questions that you may want to tackle: * Marry the one you love, or love the one you marry? * Is "being in love" a pre-requisite for being married? * If "being in love" is a pre-requisite for marriage, why do so many arranged marriages succeed? * Is "Being in love" a pre-requisite for staying married? * What exactly constitutes "being in love"? Just some food for thought! Personally, I think God's love, respect and communication is what you need on both sides to have an enduring and satisfying marriage. How long you know each other before hand is immaterial! God bless, G “Faith makes a Christian. Life proves a Christian. Trial confirms a Christian. Death crowns a Christian.” Annonymous
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3/19/2006 2:22 pm |
Blue Eyes, for once I agree with you wholeheartedly! Good comment!
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3/19/2006 4:51 pm |
Well, I married my ex within 5 months of knowing him. What I learned within three months of marriage? Anybody can put up a front for a short amount of time. He claimed Christianity, but then was an RX drug addict, alcoholic, tried to kill me, and led me to believe that we were solvent, when in fact mommy and daddy financed everything, he just used their credit cards. Oh, he also was a momma's boy.... I would say that one really needs to know the person that they marry, and not just marry out of LUST, nor NEED to be married. Really search the person out to be sure that they sincerely who they present themselves to be. Really good topic reallysaved.
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 3/20/2006 3:47 am |
Paul may have said that "It is better to marry than to burn" But let us not be naive, because we could marry someone and still burn!!... so we need to be careful not to allow our lustful burning to get us into another marriage that will fail... Banana and toothbrushes... Oh no not again... lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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3/20/2006 5:35 am |
You know, both sides - before and after - are important. I mean, once you're married both of you need to be humbly seeking God's will and be in submission to Him to make the marriage fulfilling. Also, once married, it is God's will be stay married, and happily married. So arranged marriages and short-term courtships can work. But, why go through the heartache and difficulties? It makes practical sense, as TeaKitty and BlueEyes have said, to take time to really get to know people and let God make things happen in His timing. You certainly need to have a complete grasp of the other person's spiritual state. I say make prayer and bible study together and important part of the relationship from the start. "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness..." Matt 6:33.
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3/20/2006 6:05 am |
Very wise, Yendor! That is some wisdom beyond your human-ness!
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