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| Blogs > Dundeal > My Little Bit of Heaven |
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Holiday Eating Tips, I Am Here For You, HaHaHa Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table has yet to embrace the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. It's rare; you can't find it any other time of year but right now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog, alcoholic or something. It's a treat; enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas! If something comes with gravy, pour it on. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat as necessary. Before asking for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to inhale other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello? Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when there's nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after an afternoon of circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that stein of eggnog. If you come across something especially tasty at a buffet table like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa establish yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. Special treats are like a beautiful pair of shoes; if you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again. Same for pies: Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you can't gag down mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert Labor Day? Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all costs. I mean, have some standards. If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Have a great holiday! May the Lord bless you and keep you |
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12/18/2008 5:21 am |
sheepishly admitting that I actually like fruitcake. And mincemeat pie. Jn:15:14: Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
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well God bless you for admitting it, hahahaha, you are one of the few i believe, but they could be a lot of them in the closet, hahaha, cheers May the Lord bless you and keep you
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