BigChurch
Bringing people together in love and faith
Blogs > thedrifter > sonDance lullabyes > while the heart inside you dies

while the heart inside you dies  

thedrifter
7/3/2009 9:18 pm

Last Read:
11/18/2009 10:28 pm


SK-dlQZVBD0 (youtube)

When you walk through a storm
Hold your head up high
And don`t be afraid of the dark

Late one afternoon a...young indian man....decided....that it was time ....time to return to his home. He was far away
and he had been gone many...many days. He was no stranger to the hunt or even the long hunt, but winter was
near and it was time.
So...he began to gather his trail ponies and to load them with the furs and dried meats and weapons and traps. His
toiling soon turned to anticipation but then apprehension. So ...he...stripped two of the ponies and slapped them,
setting them free to fend for themselves

At the end of the storm
Is a golden sky
And the sweet, silver song of a lark.

And deep into the night he rode under a dim and rising moon.
For two more days he rode.....replaying in reverse the landmarks that he had burned into his memory of the new
hunting grounds that he had found. Here....many deer and elk and even the small animals watched him ride
openly....seemingly knowing that he was no longer their adversary.

On the third day he came into more familiar grounds as he was now nearing his home. He made his way
through the narrow strip of land between the base of some foothills and a stream that would go beside his
winter camp. Alone he rode. As he began ascending a gorge he caught some wiffs of smoke through the pines. Upon
emerging at the top and exiting the thick tree covered hills he saw more smoke coming from the direction of
his home camp where his young bride and their son and their toddling daughter were to be waiting.

Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown.

This smoke had the unmistakeable stench of flesh and hides smoldering.He cut his trail ponies loose and
began galloping at full speed approaching the camp in a circular path scanning the rolling grass
covered hills for his family. While sliding off of his still moving pony he called out in all directions
for them...each by name several times. Now he walked amongst smashed food and water pots.
In angst he stepped across slaughtered livestock and pets...seeing no one.

He weaved among the charred and still flickering lodge poles with tearing eyes as he
surveyed every square foot of his home camp...at a loss as to the fate of his family.

Finally and with much dread in his heart he grabbed the largest of hides and flung it
away still smoldering. There....staring back at him....were the blank stares....
as only death can do....
of his
young wife and two children ...

He slumped to his knees...gasping...silently...unable to scream or cry out. His
entire being was in a vice of heartbreak.
He slammed his face and hands into the ground repeatedly and repeatedly flung
himself backwards staring directly into the sun. Over and over until he collapsed
in anquish and heartache and misery and confusion.

In the wee hours of the morning he became aware of the cold....and of the night birds
and whipporwills speaking. In rising to his knees his rememberance again
drove him into despair and anquish in dizzying flashes alternating with almost
total nothingness.
But the eastern sky began to glow in oranges and reds and yellows
and he knew...
he knew what he must now do.

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never walk alone.

Slowlly he made his way to their garden spot and gathered a few tools. And
feebly and weakly he began to dig.....three adjacent shallow graves. He placed
each down gently with any of their possessions that he could find and with
strength that he no longer had he covered them with tear blinded eyes.

Again he slumped to his knees and began searching his mind and spirit for
all that they were worth. He tried to remember all that his father and uncle and
elders had told him of the Great Spirit. With only groans he could not bring
anything to the surface but only could know deep within him that there was
a Great Spirit....and he wondered.....
and then he knew
he knew what he must now do.


Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Though your dreams be tossed and blown.


He gathered the rest of his trail ponies and stripped them of their loads and reins...
setting them free as well.
For each of three days he rode deep into the night fully determined as to his
destination. On the last day he climbed to the highest point of the land on foot
overlooking a
magnificent waterfall.
and As the sun began to set.... it's rays richoched thru the mist casting a rainbow
against the purple sky
and the land
and the wilderness
and the Great Spirit
listened

ahheeeeeiiiii....iiia
aheeeeeiiii...iiii...iiii...a...iiii...a

ahheeeeeiiiii....iiia
aheeeeeiiii...iiii...iiii...a...iiii...a
aheeeeeiiiiii...iiia
aheeeeeiiiii....iiia

ahheeeeeiiiii....iiia
aheeeeeiiii...iiii...iiii...a...iiii...a
aheeeeeiiiiii...iiia
aheeeeeiiiii....iiia
ahheeeeeiiii...iiii...iiii...a...iiii...a
iiiieeeeeiiiiii...iiia
iiiieeeeeiiiii....iiia
iiieeeeeiiii...iiii...iiii...a...iiii...a

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart,
And you'll never walk alone,
You'll never walk alone.

May you never walk alone
~sonDance
july 4, 2009


Somehow I've learned how to listen to the sound of the sun going down. ~ R. Crowell
ladylightwalker
4534 posts 

7/4/2009 10:40 am
"There is no pit so deep, that God's love is not deeper still" Corrie Tenboom

thedrifter
1769 posts 

7/4/2009 12:54 pm

 aw...shucks...you're just nodding that....*S*
Somehow I've learned how to listen to the sound of the sun going down. ~ R. Crowell

countrygirl51
453 posts

7/4/2009 2:54 pm

 Hi Drifter,

So sad, but a beautiful post! Thank-you for sharing this with us.

God Bless You
Sue
John 14:6 - Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me

thedrifter
1769 posts 

7/4/2009 8:35 pm

 hello Sue....thanks for coming to visit and commenting. I didn't really expect anyone to read something this long.

I've had that song on my mind for a long time...can't get it out of my head. I have listened to it many times lately. don't know why...
Somehow I've learned how to listen to the sound of the sun going down. ~ R. Crowell

countrygirl51
453 posts

7/5/2009 7:01 am

 Hi Drifter,

I hope others will take the time to read this, it's one of those posts that grab the heart. Just like you can't explain why you can't get this out of your head. I can't explain why the words penetrated my heart.

The words simply flow, I felt drawn in, as if I was watching this young Indian, go from joy and anticipation of seeing his family again, to a deep wrenching pain. Seeing and feeling his pain, yet helpless to help.

I spend much of my time in the interest groups, maybe I should drop in to blogs more often, because this was well worth coming in to read. I just had to read it again. Thank-you again for sharing.

God Bless You
Sue
John 14:6 - Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me

thedrifter
1769 posts 

7/5/2009 12:05 pm

 countrygirl...well, WOW at what you said...thanks....

a few months ago i deleted many of my posts, some in that vein. i regret having done that. everytime BC gets on these rampages I start deleting...*S*..."let me out of here"...

you know, if we know that God exists, then we can know that satan exists and works and has his way many times. since BC, who probably has no clue as to what 'church' means, ...since they use the word 'church' in their name and logo then many will find this site through search engines. so, because this site draws believers and seekers, then satan is going to be here as well....working in darkness.

many have left and many are tempted to leave. so the disruptions present us with a choice to leave or stay and deal with it.

May you never walk alone....*S*....thanks again...you have a beautiful spirit
Somehow I've learned how to listen to the sound of the sun going down. ~ R. Crowell

countrygirl51
453 posts

7/6/2009 4:15 pm

 Hi Drifter,

I'm learning my way around the blogs, finally figured out how to find my way back to where I posted, just click on my number of posts I may start spending more time here in the blogs meeting lots of nice people that never go to the groups.

I completely agree with you, just because this site has the word Church in it does not put a no trespassing sign up for satan, so we know he's here.

I too was another that planned on leaving, even posted a post in Believers Bible Study, back in April, that I was shutting the group down because my heart just isn't here anymore. God showed me through the prayers of friends that I wasn't suppose to leave yet. So I'm sticking it out for awhile longer. You are so right it's a choice leave or stay and deal with it. Me? I stay but choose to stay away from all the controversy.

Have a great day! As I have time I'll browse some of your other posts.

God Bless You
Sue
John 14:6 - Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me

thedrifter
1769 posts 

7/6/2009 8:20 pm

 Thanks for the blessing and God bless you as well....i don't say that often enough.

Here is an idea for a post that I really don't feel qualified to do, but after reading some of yours I think you might just be the one to do it.
"God Bless You" is not just a saying that people use. There is actually God's power of blessing in it. I mean, I do think some people just toss it out, but when it is sincerely given and meant there is actually some substance to it....no minor thing. I don't think anyone has ever written on that subject yet.
Thanks as always for the dialogue.

Listen, if you have any questions at all about anything that I have written I want you to ask whatever you want. I write most of this on the fly and seldom proofread or edit and then afterwards I think of ten things that I should have said differently or in a different order.
Somehow I've learned how to listen to the sound of the sun going down. ~ R. Crowell

Exodus15
681 posts

7/7/2009 6:12 pm

 Hey Drifter, Hi

How are you? Sorry to hear that you deleted some of your posts, although I haven't been around Blogland much lately...I have always found your posts to be most sensitive and thoughtful, and this was no exception! Most touching...well, it actually made me cry... and "Walk On" is one of my favorite songs, in fact a friend of mine sang it at my Mom's memorial service back in November. BTW my mom would have been greatly touched by this post...she was part Native American.

I too stay away from the controversy...I find it too distressing.

Keep posting my friend, may the Lord bless you and keep you!

Barb

thedrifter
1769 posts 

7/7/2009 7:26 pm

 hello Barb...long time no see....thanks for all of the good words....my mother died last year as well.
I have been aware of your absence and even when here you don't speak out so much, so when you do speak I know it is meaningful....thanks again.
and God Bless you as well
Somehow I've learned how to listen to the sound of the sun going down. ~ R. Crowell

countrygirl51
453 posts

7/9/2009 2:37 pm
    Quoting thedrifter:
    Thanks for the blessing and God bless you as well....i don't say that often enough.

    Here is an idea for a post that I really don't feel qualified to do, but after reading some of yours I think you might just be the one to do it.
    "God Bless You" is not just a saying that people use. There is actually God's power of blessing in it. I mean, I do think some people just toss it out, but when it is sincerely given and meant there is actually some substance to it....no minor thing. I don't think anyone has ever written on that subject yet.
    Thanks as always for the dialogue.

    Listen, if you have any questions at all about anything that I have written I want you to ask whatever you want. I write most of this on the fly and seldom proofread or edit and then afterwards I think of ten things that I should have said differently or in a different order.
Hi Drifter,

I was just browsing some of your older posts, I love the one about heros!

I'll pray about doing a blog on "God Bless You" I usually only blog when the Lord lays something on my heart to share. The last one I posted I let everyone know yesterday that one is in memory of Lou, she died this past March, was a very dear friend that I do miss very much.

Thank-you if I have any questions about your writings I'll feel free to ask. You do have talent and you do speak from your heart.

God Bless You
Sue
John 14:6 - Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me

Become a member to comment on this blog