 | Blogs > ms_warriorthingy > A Follower of Christ > And now.....a sweet auld lang syne |
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Please forgive me...this could be a long post! As you know I took a break, and coming back was of my own accord...presumably just a visit, but I don't believe it was God's desire for me. Some unusual things have happened lately.... A few days ago, as I was sitting playing happily on BC, I felt God calling me, so I turned off the computer and went and lay on my bed. I started to pray, but He quieted me. I thought He was going to tell me something, but instead He just wanted me to be quiet and "dwell in Him". I fell asleep and had a dream. I don't know what the dream was, but I know I was smiling. The rest of the day was spent being so totally full of the Holy Spirit...wow it was so beautiful! Then that night I received an email from a lady here in BC. It was an angry letter, accusing me of things which left me feeling bewildered and upset. The events she accused me of, happened about a year ago, and had nothing to do with me personally. I did not then, nor do I now, want to be drawn into a melodrama between two friends. My part in all this? I was close friends with the other party. I don't know if any of you have been in a situation like this, but I can assure you it is not a comfortable place to be in. I supported my friend, and perhaps that was and still is my crime. And I would do the same if the situation happened again. I want to make something perfectly clear......there is a vast difference between supporting a friend and allowing yourself to become embroiled and tangled up in the war......I did not do the latter. I wrote the post on gossip because my spirit discerns that quite possibly there is some twittering going on, and perhaps has been going on for a while. I'm pretty naive and a bit slow to catch on! If I am wrong, then I ask forgiveness...but I am not that naive to know that things happen behind the scenes and unsuspecting people become victims of idle tongues! Be warned...don't think it wont happen to you! I realised two things...one is that this is a place full of a lot of wounded and hurting people. And two, that the devil has no boundaries when it comes to his selection of prey. It's so easy to unwittingly get drawn into the latest drama played out on the blogs. As someone just pointed out to me, once you get your foot in your mouth, it's very hard to get it back out! Oh boy, I know all about that one!! I clearly displayed my own foot in mouth just days ago! Thankfully the outcome was not a bad one...but I learned an important lesson that day! The next unusual thing to happen came about yesterday. I was driving home after dropping my son at his exam, when I suddenly felt there were two things I am supposed to do....the first was to write a story, which I simply titled, A Story! and the second thing was that God wants me to leave here permanently. As far as the story goes, words just flowed into my head and I typed. I had no idea where the story was leading or why I should be writing it. But I did. I realised as I was typing, that I was the girl in the story...though I don't have a burnt body LOL! I was a little taken aback about the thought of having to leave here permanently. All kinds of emotions went through my head..."but God you know how I love to blog" and "I will miss my friends". I felt myself falling into a grief, and I spent much of the night sobbing coz I don't want to leave. Yet this morning I received confirmation...yes I have to leave. Lately God has been taking me on a journey back to when He first found me...I blogged about that recently so I wont repeat! But also He has reminded me of this journey we are on together. It's about moving forward, learning all the way. I first joined BC in 2005 and wow it has been nothing short of life changing! My first place of contact was in the chatroom...what an eye opener that was!! But it was the place where God used to do a LOT in my life. I met a man, fell in love, went to the USA and sadly found that the man was not all he claimed to be! But God used that experience, and that man to make a lot of changes in me. That man was a vessel to teach me who I am, and what I am capable of acheiving, through God's strength. And then I discovered the world of blogging!! This would have to go down as one of the key moments in my life.....through blogging God has shown me that my ministry is in writing. Who would have thought I would be writing a book, for goodness sake!! I was a singer, and an actor...I thought that was my main ministry...thought that was how God would use me...and I did for a time. It just goes to show you...God sometimes moves in mysterious ways!!! Blogging gave me an opportunity to truly express myself. Who you see, is the real me.....you've watched me go through all these crazy emotions, a pure rollercoaster ride...but through it all, I have learned so much! From my own thoughts, from you...oh boy I have learned so much from many of you....I have grown because of you! And now, I just have a feeling that God is going to stretch me a bit more....He has something up His sleeve....time will tell!! Then there was that brief period of time when I kind of did a love on the rebound thing and had a romantic fling with a toy boy! Remember TruckerSean Charming? Wow, wasn't he just the most gorgeous thing!! He totally swept me off my feet, made me forget all reason, and though it lasted only the shortest time, it was also kind of special and I really did feel like Thingerella!! I learned something important then too.....don't fall for the charms of a man driving a truck!!  He was a cool guy though, and he didn't mean any harm...I still pray for him and I bet he is turning out to be an awesome man of God! Aaaaaah and I met the love of my life here too. First met him in the chatroom but it was only much later, after my failed relationship that I got to know him better. Two years down the track I have finally realised that I am not the love of his life. God taught me so much through this as well...but I don't want to go into it coz it's very raw...let's just say, God will make things clearer to me as time goes on??? :{{ What God is saying to me right now is, this journey of the last six years, when He first brought me out of my self imposed exile, my cocoon as I fondly refer to it......there have been many legs in this journey. BC and my experiences here have been a very important and necessary part of this journey...but now I have to continue on, explore new frontiers....God is not done with showing me His many wonders. These spacious places He has brought me into....they are just small compared to the spacious places He has yet to show me. It's been a wonderful adventure that will continue until finally He calls me home! As I write this, the tears are flowing freely. I am going through incredible grief. Saying goodbye to friends...to a season..it's really painful. I'm so glad I'm working every day next week coz it will help to keep my mind occupied! It's going to be a loooooong weekend though as I say my goodbyes. I'm not going to close my profile. I made that decision this morning, and I don't think God will mind? This blog is my memories, and some day I want to be able to look at it, to remember each face, each comment, each encouragement....you have all played such a big part in my journey...I don't want to ever forget any of you or my time here. You know what else? I discovered a little secret....in one of Marilyn's (Spiritfilled) blogs way back in Feb or March of this year, there is a link to the ms_littlething blog!!! So I can even access that...unless of course Marilyn does the unthinkable and leaves...then I'm sunk!! Don't ever leave ok Marilyn? LOL or if you ever do...don't close your blog down!!! Want to know something else? Susan showed me a place I can blog to my hearts content! See, I still need a place to write...I don't think I could survive without doing that...but this will be a place just a little bit different to what I have here...it wont be as intimate, but I can still express myself and hopefully take God's Word into the greater unknown!!  Anyways if you ever want to check it out, the place is called blog followed by the word spot and then one of those cute little beauty spot thingies, and then the usual com stuff LOL. I will be using my mswarriorthingy name without the underscore! At the moment I'm just putting old stuff in there, but as God gives me new content, I will write! Anyways I'm going to close off this loooooooooooooong and final blog post (almost final coz there is still one more to come!) with a song that I have posted before, but means so much to me...it's my anthem right now!  Love you my friends.....and thank you for being in my life! May God bless each of you in your tomorrows!  HERE IN MY LIFE - Hillsong I have never walked on water Felt the waves beneath my feet but At your Word Lord, I’ll receive Your Faith to walk on oceans deep And I remember how You found me: In that very same place All my failing surely would've drowned me But You made a way You are my freedom Jesus you’re the reason I’m kneeling again at Your throne Where would I be without You Here in my life, here in my life? You have said that all the heavens Sing for joy at one who finds The way to freedom, truth of Jesus Bought from death into His life And I remember how You saw me: Through the eyes of Your grace And though the cost was Your beloved for me Still you made a way! Penelope Captive of Hope 
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11/14/2008 5:39 pm |
Oh Pen I'm really sorry and sadden to see you go and will miss you tremendiously! You have been such a joy and so much fun and it was your humor that has made me not only laugh out loud but lifted me up when I've been down. Maybe this will only be for a season Pen I hope so anyway and God will once again lead you back here to your friends, your sisters and brothers, that love you and that you have minstered too in more ways than you prolly aware of! I love you Penelpe Ann, always have and always will dear friend.
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11/14/2008 5:42 pm |
Oh Pen I'm really sorry and sadden to see you go and will miss you tremendiously! You have been such a joy and so much fun and it was your humor that has made me not only laugh out loud but lifted me up when I've been down. Maybe this will only be for a season Pen I hope so anyway and God will once again lead you back here to your friends, your sisters and brothers, that love you and that you have minstered too in more ways than you're prolly aware of! I love you Penelope Ann, always have and always will dear friend.
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 11/14/2008 5:55 pm |
I repeat what Greg said. I am totally crushed to hear you are leaving. I hope God's order to you was only to leave us for a short while. You know Penn, He can always change His mind when He realizes how many broken hearts you are leaving behind. God bless you sister. I wish you the best! Love you always!  in your life means Jesus is in your heart. 
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11/14/2008 6:22 pm |
Oh no. I am saddened by this thingy. I was so looking forward to being your harrasment assistant. I know though that you must be obeident to the Lord. I am so glad that I got to meet you before you left. I will go to your other blog. Faith is not believing that God can - It's knowing that He will!
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11/14/2008 6:41 pm |
I completely understand....the verse that comes to mind "Behold I do a new thing. Now it springs up, do you not perceive it?!" There is always some sorrow with letting go of the past and the familiar but embrace the future with zeal and the hope that God has placed in your heart. We let you go with love and best wishes, releasing you into what God has for you; remember He always blesses obedience. Remember that the old Michael W. Smith song "Friends"? "Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them. And a friend will not say never, for the friendship never ends....." Perfect words, and so very, very true. As long as we are serving God there will be seasons where He brings us into intimate contact with people, where He blesses us through relationships and uses those relationships to fulfill His purposes. But each of us has a calling and gifts given by God to fulfill that calling; and in that exciting plan for each of us He is constantly creating and recreating and bringing change. It is always for our good and His glory. And so we learn a key thing in this beautiful life...to embrace and also to release. I am experiencing much the same thing now....sorrow over letting go of the old to embrace the new...sadness at friends, relationships, my dog left behind; it is easy to get caught up in the sense of what are you leaving and let the sorrow almost make you lose sight of the blessed joys awaiting. So embrace what is to come...it is His will for you, and therefore His very best for you. We love you and our Lord enough to delight in His plan for you and release you into that with our blessings. Ecclesiastes 3 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." He is no fool if he should choose to lose the things he cannot keep to gain what he can never lose.....Jim Elliott Deena 
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11/14/2008 6:48 pm |
I deleted my first comment because I mispelled your first name. Bet thats a real schocker for you huh? Maybe, just maybe, God wanted you to read it twice and brought it back up again! This sad news penelope is weighing heavy on so many hearts and life's that you have touched and I just don't know or understand why God would want to do this to us all but you do have to open to His voice even if we don't like it one bit
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 11/14/2008 7:34 pm |
See ya at blogspot m'dear! We're in sooo much the same place! And thanks for the kind words on your blog about friends here at BC! Susan aka Red God gives the very best to those who leave the choices to Him. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine...to Him be the glory. Eph 3:20 Find me at my screen name, blogspot and the usual ending. See ya there!
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11/14/2008 8:13 pm |
Wow, Penny Pen, You have come a long way baby!!! There will be a huge empty spot around here without you but to think of how you have grown and gotten closer to God is heart-warming. It has been quite the journey for you and you have stayed faithful and sought God's direction and comfort and proved that if we are willing to seek Him and follow Him then He is there with open arms every time. There are not enough wonderful adjectives to describe you. You are gorgeous and wonderful, funny, zany, creative, a true friend, and an awesome WOG. I have been incredibly blessed to have you in my life and do hope our paths cross again some day. Until then, go with God and be all that He is calling you to be. crying tears of joy and sorrow, Lila
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11/14/2008 9:29 pm |
I understand Pen. I left for a really long time. I may leave for good ...definately if and when God tells me to. I just wish I could have gotten to know you more. You were one of the girls I wanted to know for real. In real life. But ya live so FAR away!  Smiling through the tears, cause I know that you know God's voice. I will see if webtv with no broadband or dsl (cause I'm a Hick, way out in the sticks) works on that place you will be. I tried to give you my email once. I'll email you it again. It's ok baby girl, sister friend, I know you will be fine. I'll miss you, but will try to see you elsewhere. We both love you, Thomas and I. Blessings, well you know, us....and if ya realise you were wrong and ya come back, that's ok too  "There is no pit so deep, that God's love is not deeper still" Corrie Tenboom
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11/14/2008 11:00 pm |
Told ya before- ya never did belong sittin' on a bouy on the middle of the sea- stand and walk- even if you THINK it's water- He's is the one who knows better. Perhaps you'll always remember too- Jesus is all that matters- nothing else cn get you home- it's not the journey that even matters- He is the King- The Son of God- and just as Jesus said- no matter WHAT happens to everyone else- "FOLLOW THOU ME". Hey- get up and walk on water- no one ever said you couldn't- but you. G'luck there warriorthingy... "just cuz yer feet get wet - - don't mean yer sinking." Perfection... Possible? Yup... IF ya wanna TRY.
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11/15/2008 1:57 am |
As I'm writing this, there is a rainbow outside my window. Dear Pen You go do exactly what God is leading you to.Be who you are always.....true to yourself and to Him. I pray God's richest blessing for you always dear friend, wherever your path will lead. Blessings always Pen
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11/15/2008 7:24 am |
Love you girl. When God says move, there is no choice! From one bride to another, God keep you, bless you, increase you, Rhonda
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11/15/2008 7:44 am |
Quote you warriorthingy- "....If yer don't I will personally come and kick yer butt..." All the more reason to NOT behave- kind of makes you NEEEEEEEED to come back just to see- and then kick me'behind eh? Put it this way- some folks will try to do the impossible- some won't try- they "just DO it." Be a do-er there aussie- with God- YOU HAVE NO LIMITS. (as in "all things are possible"... )Yeah- I know- "he's a broken record". Ain't it great? Perfection... Possible? Yup... IF ya wanna TRY.
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11/15/2008 8:19 am |
Glad I haven't missed anything about you leaving... Glad to know that you know that we know  you have a way with words and the gift of writing your unique ways and style...God bless your many talents sweet sister...and your tender sensitive heart to His calling and His words always... Till we meet again ...its only au revoir...perhaps at 'God's mountain' again ...God willing...happy blogging at your other place... Man can make many plans...BUT it is the Lord who will direct his paths....
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11/15/2008 9:29 am |
Awwwwwwwww Pen, That`s such sad news. I agree with alotta the comments on here. You are such a wonderful warrior woman of God n have helped me soooooo much in my walk. I thank you for bein you. I`m gonna miss ya more than words can say. Thank you for being in my life n postin such wonderful posts. I pray that one day i`ll be just a little of who you are in Christ. Great Blessings to you. Peace n Love, ,Wendy   Show me the way Sweet JESUS. Lead and i Will follow.  
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11/15/2008 10:14 am |
Ok thanks Pen, I will. "There is no pit so deep, that God's love is not deeper still" Corrie Tenboom
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11/15/2008 11:37 am |
Blessings to you sweet Pen!! How can we NOT praise Him - Marilyn
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11/15/2008 12:12 pm |
sent you one...we'll see if ya get it. Stay strong in the Lord sweet Pen. I know you will. Blessings, Little Bird Trying to do some flying of my own now too."There is no pit so deep, that God's love is not deeper still" Corrie Tenboom
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11/15/2008 2:41 pm |
I'm sorry to see you go, but I understand. When you feel that pull you need to follow it. Hopefully I'll see you at the blog spot.
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11/16/2008 11:10 am |
Glad you are obeying God. He has something incredible for you. Will miss you here, even though I rarely show up, toooooooooo busy with work and church. Love you lots my sis What God does in our lives during the waiting period is just as important as what we are waiting for. John Ortberg CHRISTIAN WAYS TO REDUCE STRESS
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11/16/2008 2:25 pm |
Sweetie, honey, lover girl, peaches, sugar babe, dumplings, honey bunch, dear, darling, sweetheart, my dream girl, the icing on my cake, (lover of the Volvo!), my strawberry shortcake, my damsel in distress, Cinderella, my dream come true, princess, well, you know all the other names by now, so I'll let you fill in the blanks: ___________ ____________ _________ etc So now what do I do????? My lover girl is going away. Who am I going to be able to call all those names now??? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OK hon, I'm gonna check you out and see what you are talking about. Love ya lots Pen, Gary. I'll give you my private email later. Eph 2:10 We are his workmanship (poiema, or poem, or work of art) created in Christ Jesus. God is an artist and you are His masterpiece!
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11/18/2008 6:08 am |
Hi Pen ... I love you ... and will miss you ... Forry & Faith Pitcher
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11/28/2008 5:48 pm |
Hi Pen, I love you too, and will miss you. I understand and commend you for your obedience to the Lord. Fly girl, fly..... Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness!
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