 | Blogs > ms_warriorthingy > A Follower of Christ > BOTHERED |
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I guess the best way to describe what I'm feeling today, is "bothered". I went to bed listening to Ezekiel.....oh wow God sure was angry with His people! And what's with this eating dung?? Dung cakes??? oh yuck!!  Then I had a bad dream which kind of left me feeling even more unsettled than I was yesterday......got some praying to do on this one!  This morning I went for my walk and it was so beautiful out there. It was kind of misty...not foggy...just misty. It reminded me of a North Carolina Spring morning...cold...but you know it's going to be a beautiful day. I got so nostalgic...oh I would love to visit there again After my walk I went and did my grocery shopping. It was so nice doing it early coz there are hardly any people in the store and I can take my time on the self serve checkout!!  On my way to the car, I bumped into my sister. Apparently she is wanting to build some broken bridges with me, yet today it sure didn't feel like it...feels like a few pylons just fell into the river  So right now I'm feeling "bothered". I'm so tired of game players and people who just aren't "real". I'm tired of walking around on eggshells in some kind of arena of intrigue. I want to be free to trust, and to be worthy of someone's trust. I want to accept people for who they are, and to be accepted for who I am in return. I want to be free to be me, without fear of condemnation or judgement. I want friendships that don't have "conditions" attached. I don't want to be misunderstood and having things I said taken out of context. I'm real, I'm me...I have too many flaws to name but I also have lots of good points that are too many to name. I'm just me....Penelope. I guess if I am a risk, then all I can say is......let me get out of the arena coz I don't want to play silly games.  So yup......today I'm feeling "bothered" Penelope Captive of Hope 
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 10/10/2008 5:18 pm |
ah sorry you are feeling this way. I think we all get like this I know I sure do .I am usually misunderstood.wish I could express myself like you just have.yes you got many great things about you and those out way any flaw you feel you may have .Be the person God has created you to be that is all you can do. GBY  Yahweh is my light and salvation.  
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10/10/2008 5:18 pm |
Well Pen....first thing...if you ever get to NC (once I'm there of course) you MUST look me up..or better yet...my guest room will be yours. I am thinking sometimes it's better to take a Forest Gump approach to life. He had this beautiful naiveity. Ok, he came across as not so intelligent...but look how he dealt with people; he always believed the best, was unstung by criticism; in fact he never seemed to notice the negative reactions of others, or if he did, felt it his duty to bring a little brightness there. Wish I could be more like that. My grandmother used to have a plaque on her wall that read "Never take life too seriously, you'll never get out of it alive anyway." I guess the thing is...we cannot control other people's actions and responses...only our own. All you can do is give it to God and not get bogged down in it all. He is no fool if he should choose to lose the things he cannot keep to gain what he can never lose.....Jim Elliott Deena 
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10/10/2008 7:55 pm |
Pen, you are free!!!! Why don't you know it????? Quite telling yourself that you're not!!! Look at it this way, if everyone else has the right to act as they do....then what about you???? (Aside from being un-Christian like in manner that is!!!) I've found that whether it be my mom or sisters, close relatives or even an occasional friend who gets on my case about something little that I may do (especially under times of great stress) it's not right for them to jump on me.......because I never jump on them!!! And when they do, I've asked them to point out one time when I've brought their shortcoming up in their face where I made even on day or an hour difficult for them!!! I used to just become silently hurt and mull around for days and days criticizing myself and feeling an absolute outcast among family and friends.......but then I learned who I truly am......and stand my ground! Now I ask them not to do to me what I do not do to them. Seems to be working....they have changed their tune and agree! This reminds me, I could never understand a former classmate who would constantly go around (telling people off) indicating she was sensitive....hmmmmm.....I'd always say to myself she can't be sensitive or else she'd never treat others in that manner! Anyhow, I hope things work out for you.....there's no need to be bothered...listen to the awesome beat of your Godly drum and march to it, my sweet friend!!
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 10/10/2008 8:20 pm |
How can we NOT praise Him - Marilyn
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10/10/2008 9:31 pm |
awww Pen...sorry that you're feeling this way...ditto to many things that you said...you sure got aN open and honest way with words in expressing how you feel...thanks for being you...keep on keeping on where you and with who you are in the Lord...BIG HUGS COMING YOUR WAY... ((((((((((( PEN ))))))))))) Man can make many plans...BUT it is the Lord who will direct his paths....
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10/11/2008 9:40 pm |
AMEN PEN!
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