 | Blogs > ms_warriorthingy > A Follower of Christ > What is "perfect" anyway? |
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I was chatting with a woman today.....hmmmmm....about men......what else?  She was talking about the man in her life.....and I'm a leeeetle perplexed...... "he doesn't do this...." "he does this way too much"...... "I hate it when he"...... "he is soooooo"........ "I think he is"......... Huh??????? She said a few nice things about him, but mostly she was picking on every flaw he had. I don't get it.....seriously.......I don't get it. When we meet someone....what exactly are we looking for??? Is it perfection??? Coz if it is....oh boy are we in for a rude shock! Coz no one is perfect! We all have our little flaws, our little idiosyncrasies. I know for sure that I don't want to be nit picked, don't want to be scrutinized, don't want to be made to feel like I fall short..... None of us do! I know I want to be the best that God created me to be.....I want the rough edges made smooth......but I want to be loved for me...slightly flawed....definitely not a miss world entrant  but beautiful to the one God has set aside for me.I think, when you love someone, you recognize their flaws, their weaknesses....but you still think they are the most wonderful man/woman to ever cross your path. Crikey........I kind of feel sorry for this woman's partner......and I think she doesn't realise how blessed she is that he puts up with her!!!! Ooooops! I hope she doesn't stumble on to BC and find my blog!!!! Penelope Captive of Hope 
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9/3/2008 7:39 am |
 I totally agree with you. I have never understood how someone can fall in love with someone just the way they are and then try to change them into someone else. H'mmmmmmmm baffles the mind! Love and Hugs  Exposing My Secret Lord, keep one hand on my shoulder and one hand over my mouth!
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 9/3/2008 7:44 am |
I agree, that is sad that she focuses on the things she doesn't like about him rather than on all his good qualities (which I am sure are more than she said). Thinking like that breeds more thinking like that. She is blessed to have a man in her life and if he is Christian, then she is twice blessed. Good post Pen! Have a wonderful week. Love you sister! Bloom Where You are Planted
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 9/3/2008 8:00 am |
Too late, Pen! I went behind your back and SHOWED it to her!! HAHAHAHA! Ah, ya, well, I just couldn't resist!!! HeeHee! He whispers through the storm......"I am with you....." 
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9/3/2008 8:08 am |
Okay, now for my serious comment ....I would have to agree with you. It reminds me of my ex. Before we were married he was in love with me. After we were married, I was too short, I didn't walk fast enough, I was too heavy, I was stupid, and the list goes on and on! The counselor we used to see actually asked him if I was short when he met me! Of course, he said yes. Then the counselor says, "Did you expect her to grow???" We really need to look at someone with our eyes WIDE OPEN. If we don't like what we see, we have to be honest with ourselves. We can't change ANYONE! Only God can do that!! Love you, girl!! He whispers through the storm......"I am with you....."
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9/3/2008 9:20 am |
Hi Pen, That just isn`t love at all.Poor guy.It sounds very much like they "put up with each other".How very sad.I think love just loves all ya flaws whatever they maybe coz they aren`t seen as flaws by that special person. Peace be with you, Wendy   Show me the way Sweet JESUS.Lead and i Will follow. 
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9/3/2008 9:48 am |
. . .
. "....oh boy are we in for a rude shock!" We are and we can be, but can you love us anyway, unconditionally? That is the question, what are you willing to put up with for a life time if for some reason, we never change and or get worse in our old age? By the way, it goes both ways? Know? Yes? ? . . Continue to be faithful, deliverance is near, obedience must be seen, be an unconditional blessing as He continues to bless you. This time is short, serve Him well, serving all. Without exception. Know? Yes? ? .
Meow ? .
.
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9/3/2008 2:26 pm |
My sweetie and I can laugh about our flaws that get on each other's nerves. Gotta keep a sense of humour! And ya gotta be able to laugh at yourself. It's very attractive.... blessings, Robin Keep walking in the Light and you won't fall down and bump your head. (paraphrase mine)
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9/3/2008 2:27 pm |
ooh and Pen, perfect? That would be me Keep walking in the Light and you won't fall down and bump your head. (paraphrase mine)
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9/3/2008 2:52 pm |
You are so right Penelope - none of us are perfect - including ourselves. You see flaws in a loved one and see if it's something you can live with or not with God's help - some might be small things - some might be dealbreakers - and you talk to God about them and He will show you beyond a shadow of a doubt what you should do or not do - do you stay and work through some stuff - do you walk away - or maybe even run away as fast as you can depending on the flaws. And always remembering that the other person will do the same to you. The thing is to always walk in truth and love with each other - that can be a dealbreaker in itself. Excellent post and blessings to you!! How can we NOT praise Him - Marilyn
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9/3/2008 3:26 pm |
Yes, if the list of flaws was longer than the list of 'joys' in the relationship I'd have to ask "why am I here?" Yet, I've been guilty of hanging on because it's comfortable, or what I'm used to. And thinking 'oh, this'll get better.' I agree with Marilyn - sort out the dealbreakers from the annoyances - and before one gets in too deep. Susan aka Red God gives the very best to those who leave the choices to Him. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine...to Him be the glory. Eph 3:20 Find me at my screen name, blogspot and the usual ending. See ya there! Where I For Everything There is a Season Halloween Pics from Work
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9/3/2008 4:12 pm |
I always heard it said that men marry women hoping they'll never change and women marry men hoping they can change them. If we think we can change someone into the person WE want, then we should just step back from the whole thing! I was invited to play on a golf team at the beginning of the summer. While we were out practicing one night, they started talking about their boyfriends/husbands. They ALL were completely dogging on these guys. Talking about how lazy and stupid they are. How they have to come out and golf with the girls because they would never want to golf with their guys. It was that moment that I knew I didn't want to be on their team. I was just thinking "What if (if I had a guy!!) MY guy were to talk about ME that way?". I would be horrified. I don't want to be around people like that!! It's sad for both people. Good post!!
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9/4/2008 9:42 pm |
I have a confession to make here! I used to be just like that lady. I was critical on every level! I had no respect for my husband and treated him poorly. Now I am not going to make any excuses for my previous ungodly behaviour. 20 years down the track I can say that the Lord has taken me through much soul searching and transformation. I married this guy when I was too young. I was a broken young woman with lots of insecurities and much pain from an abused past. I attracted a man who was also abusive and treated me just like I saw myself back then, although it was subconscious. My way of dealing with the dreadful pain of abuse and complete abandonment was to be critical. I believe that therre are many many woman out there who have been joined in marriage only to be unequally yoked with their spouse. I belive that this type of behaviour is a manifestation of deep wounding from her past only to take it out on her husband, deserved or not. I would be more compassionate towards those women these days as i know that there is much more to the story than what we see. Many years down the track, much healing later the Lord has blessed me with my Beloved, soon to be husband. There are a couple of things in his personality that have a familliar ring from the past. I have to accept that this is his personality, and who he is. The challenge for me now is to give it over to the Lord when it may 'bug' me and leave it in His hands. My committment to my beloved is to not critisise him or put him down in any way for his personality or any other matter. Don't you think that God has a way of dealing with us? I think sometimes that God has a real sense of humour. First He makes us recognise our sin, then heals us of the damage that sin caused, and then puts us into situations to 'test' us and to walk in freedom without the baggage that we once held onto! Praise be to God! Blessings sister The body of Christ is like a patchwork quilt! All stitched together with God's love.
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9/4/2008 10:52 pm |
I just got finished writing Jim an email....I love you, let me count the ways. I listed many things, but even his flaws are so endearing to me. It is true as Marilyn says that there are deal breakers of which the Holy Spirit will direct us to separate from the other and not be married. Finding fault? Maybe there are some questions of unsurity whether the two should become one. If it irritates her now....trust me...it will irritate her a thousand times over when married. As with anything else...thankfulness and love.....thankfulness and love. Life is too short to waste energy on the negative. Peace, Beth eh......got any chocolates laying around with my name on it?
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9/5/2008 1:58 am |
Well not me, that's for sure, not so great when you get married to your opposite! GBU! Hows that buoy going? 
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9/5/2008 3:53 pm |
Well not me, that's for sure, not so great when you get married to your opposite! GBU! Hows that buoy going? So are you still in the ocean, or, on a surf ski, or windsailing? Or just floating on the currents? mmmm
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9/6/2008 9:40 am |
Yup, I see how you are. I checked with Marilyn and Terrie. They both say you should SHARE chocolates, especially those with my name on it....the ones you divided and said....one for you, two for me and then took a marker and put names on it?????? So...eh....got any chocolates laying around or should they be lying around?? Now I have to go back and study my English 207. Darn! 
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9/7/2008 8:05 pm |
I also feel sorry for that woman's partner! I know what it's like myself. People tend to value more what they don't have and forget to appreciate what they do have. It's quite common-unfortunately. Perhaps when the time comes when some of us are in that position, we will remember this and truly appreciate what we have longed for. We get too comfortable and can easily start nitpicking. Too much of that in a courtship would drive me away. Let your gentleness be evident to all. Philippians 4:5
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9/7/2008 8:09 pm |
By the way, if this lady came across this blog, it might be the best thiong that could happen to her. But then again, I wouldn't want to see you in trouble. Why, I would have to swim over there and bail you out of the trouble. Besides, I'm not a very good swimmer! Let your gentleness be evident to all. Philippians 4:5
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Hugs to you too, gorgeous! 
