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 | Blogs > ms_warriorthingy > A Follower of Christ > SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT ME - PLEASE READ THIS & I AM BEING SERIOUS |
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I just got a long winded email from someone telling me to guard my heart, and to not reach out because I feel abandoned or lonely. Apparently I am in great danger of falling in love on the rebound.. Apparently I am giving the impression of being this poor heartsick woman who is so desperately lonely and rejected that she is going to run into the arms of the first man that pays her attention. WHAAAAAAAAT?????????? Well I was kind of wondering, if one person has these fears, maybe a few do...so I want to make something publicly known, to avoid any speculation whatsoever as to who I am, how I feel, and what my plans for love are...... Yes, I am very much heartsick..simply coz I am trying very hard to heal from a broken relationship. My heart is in a million pieces and I am trying very hard to "keep it together". Looking for a new love to replace the old one??? NO!!!! Lonely???? NO!! Rejected??? YES!! Abandoned??? NO!!! I am in a place right now.....let's call it suspended animation.....waiting for God to lead me where HE wants me to go. God has a plan and a purpose for my life and I have been a little impatient perhaps, to discover what this is plan is...... But I am not seeking the answers in another man, or in another relationship. Believe me, that is the last thing I want right now! All I want is to be in the centre of God's will. That is my safe place....my cleft in the rock. Perhaps people are assuming that because I fool around with Jeff.....that maybe he and I have got something going....well guess what? we don't! Jeff is an awesome man, a good friend, and he knows exactly where I am at...we have talked at length. I would NEVER lead a man on to think that he was going to have a place in my heart, and I would never want to hurt someone as precious as Jeff by doing that to him. I fool around a lot on the blogs.....coz laughter is what keeps me from going down the S bend. Laughter is good therapy, and I can assure you, it isn't forced...laughter comes naturally to me, I love to laugh! I love to have fun. There are days when I am very serious, kind of melancholy, and then there are days when I just enjoy having fun and being silly. This is who I am....I am a broad spectrum!!!  The bottom line? I am in a lot of pain right now. You know it, I know it, God knows it. But I have not given up....I am not miserable 24/7. I am a woman who knows pain, as most of you also do. I am also a woman of strength and I get my strength from God. I'm not lonely coz I have Jesus, and believe me, He holds me like no one else can. The whole world could reject me....but He never will.....and I am finally at a point where I know I need nothing or no one else. I am also incredibly blessed with amazing friends who have held me up, encouraged me, prayed for me, hoped for me, cried with me, laughed with me.....you don't get more blessed than that!! The only One who knows exactly where I should be at right now, is the Father....and I can assure you, I am currently sitting on Daddy's knee, occasionally tugging at His cloak to take me places..but begging Him to "Daddy don't let go of me"! Crikey I just had a thought.....I fool around with Corrie a lot on the blogs...what if people think?????? Ok here's the deal...I am not falling for Corrie...I have made myself comfortable in her home, drunk her mocha, worn Juan's fluffy slippers, put lipstick marks on her ceiling (I'm very creative!) but I am not wanting anything more from Corrie than her friendship I am however wild about Juan's donkey...and if that donkey wants an Aussie chick to date.....I'm going for that donkey!!!Another candid post from TAWANDA!  PenelopeCaptive of Hope |
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 6/15/2008 1:49 pm |
Hi Pen, I've never got that impression about you at all. You are loads of fun, but also a blessing to all of us here in blogland! God knows your heart Pen! "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." John 14: 27  
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6/15/2008 2:17 pm |
You are one LOVED kookie Auzzie chickie!!! Broad spectrum yes indeedie........ WE LOVE YOU PENNY POO  I am also incredibly blessed with amazing friends who have held me up, encouraged me, prayed for me, hoped for me, cried with me, laughed with me.....you don't get more blessed than that!! Well guess what??? Me Toooo, you have done the same for me lately...I sooo appreciate you for being there for me. hugs so glad about you and corrie, I almost got my feelings hurt
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6/15/2008 2:30 pm |
PEN! YOU ARE WAY TOO COOL!!! Thanks for sharing your heart here with us...You are full of fun and so sincere and genuine!!! You are a RARE JEWEL AND BLESSED INDEED IS THE MAN WHO COULD CAPTURE YOUR HEART!!! TAKE IT FROM ME, GIRL!!! There are still few WONDERFUL MOG OUT THERE...What's so amazing is, WHEN GOD GIVES YOU THE DESIRE OF YOUR HEART ~ You'll be in AWE!!! For there is NONE like it!!! It would truly be A SWEET AND AWESOME SURPRISE!!! IT WILL BLOW YOUR MIND AWAY!!! I'm still AMAZE OF GOD'S WONDROUS WORKING POWER ~ SO COMPLETE, SO PERFECT, SO BEAUTIFUL AND SO AMAZING!!! IN GOD'S PERFECT TIMING!!! TRUST AND OBEDIENCE ARE THE KEY!!! glo   Teach me your way, O LORD,and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify Your name forever. (Psalm 86:11,12)
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6/15/2008 2:35 pm |
A true Aussie lady with the strength of the Lord within. How can you go wrong with the Lord on your side. GBY. H
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6/15/2008 2:40 pm |
Okay now I am just totally heartbroken! I feel betrayed... all you wanted all this time was the darn donkey and my mocha. I've been used! And just I thought a long distance relationship truly could work in my life!!! ROFLOL Seriously, you know what Penn... God is going to heal your heart and you will be just fine in time and if you wanna hang out in my blog, my door is always open to you! You know everyone here just loves you to pieces! But God loves you even more than that! And you're a smart cookie, abeit a bit silly... If I thought you were going on the rebound, I would have written you first but I know your first focus is God even before mocha muchless another man or donkey (and sometimes those are one in the same - sorry guys, just some truth for some guys but not all guys). Just keep on focusing on Him and we both know His word says a cheerful heart is good medicine so don't let the concern of others who don't know the whole situation get you down. You just keep laughing away the blues and hurt girl but keep your lipstick off my ceiling!! 
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6/15/2008 2:50 pm |
in my youth [one hundred years ago] I was heartbroken and in tears often. I recently saw an article my grand daughters' had entitled 'dating is not for the faint hearted' ....prepare for rejection! smart young women reading this wise men still seek Him Milly
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6/15/2008 2:52 pm |
Hi Pen, You`ve been a busy girl.There are 14 new posts from you since i was last on.I can`t keep up,  .Now on to the post here.Well,I (as with all on ya comments)don`t think for one minute you are anything other than good fun and open with your thoughts and feelings.It sounds like some have been readin things in ya posts that aren`t there.You are a remarkable wog.You inspire me alot. Yours in CHRIST, Wendy   Show me the way Sweet JESUS.Lead and i Will follow.
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6/15/2008 3:01 pm |
My T.O.L.B keep on keeping on and don't stop being yourself. I absolutely love your personality in your blogs. They display honesty and sincerity never let that go. As for your healing process I know that it will be accomplished because your sitting on the knee of the one who created you in your mother's womb. Plus you know Jer 29.11 to give you a future and a hope. Yes my friend He will take you places that you could never go and become what you could never dream of. My thought is God is using this to being healing into your life so don't let the enemy rob you from the balm that He is supplying. Take care T.O.L.B
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6/15/2008 3:09 pm |
I don't know you but I read some of your blogs, all I see if your love for Jesus.
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 6/15/2008 3:27 pm |
How can we NOT praise Him - Marilyn
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6/15/2008 3:36 pm |
Sounds like you have a good handle on the situation. Let God lead. Blessings
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6/15/2008 3:46 pm |
You know in any group of people there is always going to be someone or ones who will make assumptions... I'm with golden, I read some of your blogs and all I see is you love for Jesus and a vibrant, vivacious person... keep that up. Kaye 
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6/15/2008 3:57 pm |
And everybody, listen up! What Pen has said about me and her IS ABSOLUTELY THE WAY IT IS!!! We were simply having some fun and a good laugh on the blog page! Nothing more. So let that be the end of any speculations otherwise!! Pen is a great and truly wonderful lady and woman of God and I'm pleased to be her friend. So let that be the end of any other kind of foolish talk or suspicions! AMEN. Let your gentleness be evident to all. Philippians 4:5
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6/15/2008 4:03 pm |
And thank you Pen for speaking rightly and well of me too! You are as awesome as all these comments say you are! Let your gentleness be evident to all. Philippians 4:5
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6/15/2008 4:15 pm |
I think maybe the long winded writer may have a thing for you! or i should mind my own business..lol
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6/15/2008 5:17 pm |
you just need a good man to put you in your place as the bible states the woman is to submit to the man look me up i will teach you and protect you
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6/15/2008 5:25 pm |
what's wrong with rebound? anyway,,,,just tell that person to mind his/her own buisness! , no sign shall be given to this generation
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6/15/2008 6:26 pm |
How's that book writing coming along,eh????
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6/15/2008 6:45 pm |
you just need a good man to put you in your place as the bible states the woman is to submit to the man look me up i will teach you and protect you  Pen, GBY! I think you're doing fantastic dear. sabrefire
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6/15/2008 7:04 pm |
you just need a good man to put you in your place as the bible states the woman is to submit to the man look me up i will teach you and protect you Pen, as others have said, yes, you are right where you need to be! The only man you need putting you in your place is Jesus and it sounds like you're doing that!  GBY!! Cathy  "For He must become greater; I must become less." John 3:30
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6/15/2008 7:34 pm |
. . .
. Write anytime. . . Continue to be faithful, deliverance is near, obedience must be seen, be an unconditional blessing as He continues to bless you. This time is short, serve Him well, serving all. Know? Yes? ? . Meow ? .
.
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6/15/2008 7:57 pm |
So does this mean you don't have the 'HOTS' for me?.. lol Life is too short so Lighten Up a bit...
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6/15/2008 8:01 pm |
Pen, you have been such a blessing to me. It saddens me to see you hurt. I'll be praying that God heals your broken heart. I'm sure this person meant well, but.......Well, I guess it's best for me to leave that alone. I certainly wouldn't want to hurt you. Steal your chockies, maybe, but never hurt you!! I love you, my sister!
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6/15/2008 9:25 pm |
Pen, I've seen you post on my blog, and came over to check out yours. If she doesn't want the chockies, I do.... you are right where you are supposed to be in Daddy's lap, and I love your sense of humor. Keep it up! Stayed blessed, Karen Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness!
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6/15/2008 10:29 pm |
Care more about what God knows than what men think!!! I know exactly what you're doing and I think you are fine. Let it out Pen and when you are on a roll away from crying...then by all means joke and laugh. You have to be a woman to understand. Like I said...I was in the same mood with my beer post earlier...and I got the legalistic book thrown at me. I can have fun and if people don't get it...that's OK. We have been to hell and back in the last few weeks...LIVE IT UP!!!! GOD KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON!!!!! TAWANDA 1 AND TAWANDA 2 ( Actually Clay said he's Tawanda 3 LOL!!) Truth is Black and White Paula Marie
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6/16/2008 5:20 am |
What is Tawanda? And what is T.O.L.B.? Yes, I know there are a few blond roots showing... Anyways, sister, you have been an absolute blessing to me and others here on the blogs!!! I appreciate your love for people and your sense of humor. You have lightened up my life as I've tried to weigh through all the material I need to know for my comps. There is only 9 days left till the first test... and 11 days till the second test. I've only gotten through 1 full class of material... Only 3 to go!!! I am so scared. But your laughs have helped me!!!!!!!!! Thank you my dear sweet, fun sister!
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6/16/2008 9:41 am |
you just need a good man to put you in your place as the bible states the woman is to submit to the man look me up i will teach you and protect you Pen is in the right place, a true woman of God. What I know about her, she will be the kind of woman a godly man will treasure. The LORD HAS TAUGHT HER WELL!! Peace,Beth In all thy ways ackowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths. Prov 3:6
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6/16/2008 10:34 am |
Beth...Soldier thinks it is okay to dominate a woman, to put her head into the wall...etc. Ask his ex girlfriend BoughtbytheBlood. Men never commit evil so fully.. as.for religious convictions
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6/16/2008 1:40 pm |
Erm, who or what is tawanda? is it an aussi thang? lol Pen, ....sometimes people say things with the very best of intentions but when we are feeling vulnerable after having had a relationship it can truly hurt. I think having fun with members on here, male and female is the best way to pick yourself up. I have had such fun on here at times and usually when things at home are not good, it lifts me. There are many great people here who care. Pssstttt Pen.........it's a good thing you and jeff are just friends, cos I've already picked out mine and his matching wedding bands with musical notes surrounding them in tasteful diamonique.. off the shopping channel hahahaha!! Jeff, don't faint dear lol, I is kiddin
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6/16/2008 3:49 pm |
Oops, just seen your quote about tawanda above...I should know that, I love that film....maybe I am getting senile lol!!
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6/19/2008 11:28 am |
why blame it on hair colour dearie? wise men still seek Him Milly
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6/27/2008 6:57 pm |
i kno exactly how you feel pen,this is a late response of course but... just keep being you pen...God created you that way...you are beautiful. im comlpex too...my personality traits stressed that on eharmony lol you are not alone in this...God is with you always and us sisters in Christ can relate. im glad sum of the guys here think ur great too... just keep loving Jesus klike you do pen...ur alright in my book
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but they are happy tears! 
I don't want the WHOLE BLINKIN WORLD to know about our mad affair!!!! 
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