 | Blogs > I_Am_1_Rib_Short > Gary's musings > Life with a neurotic cat |
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Have i mentioned that I'm not a cat person. "Hello, I'm Gary, and I am not a cat person." There, I feel better already. A while back, and being the lone crusader against feline invasion in our home, I was overcome with a case of guilt-induced psychosis and crashed. Let's face it: I caved. I conceded. I sold my spineless soul to the "cat"- eat- "cat" devil. I agreed to let a cat invade our home. And not just any cat: a Siamese-Calico-with-attachment-dependency-disorder. Now originally, my crusade began on the platform that getting a cat would mean having to spend enormous amounts of time putting up with her pickiness. According to my wife (at the time), this is, indeed, true. But just for the record, what I'd really like to do is go back to my list of arguments and refer to objection number 3, 176 and 276: ridiculous vet bills. I'm not saying this because I need to be objectionable, I'm saying this because I need to be right. If you've got a cat, you'll know what I mean. Case in point? Yesterday. Now normally, having a Siamese-Calico-with-attachment-dependency-disorder means never having to say, "here kitty." Fluffy is at your heel 24/7. No moment is exempt. No moment is sacred. So, yesterday, when I'm sitting in the bathroom alone for the first time in 6 months, I know something is seriously wrong. A search of the house finds her curled up on the floor in the bedroom, eyes glassy, drooling like a Ste. Bernard (she never drools) and when the doorbell rings, she barely lifts her head. I panic. "Fluffy, buddy, hand in there! Help is on the way." (I know, I'm not a cat person, but to be honest, I'm a dead-cat person even less.) I call the vet. "Sorry, sir, we close in 5 minutes. You're going to have to take her to the emergency hospital." "You're kidding, right?" "Nope, if you want someone to look at your cat, you're going to have to call the hot line." I throw Fluffy in the car and call the emergency shelter en route. I'm told they will be waiting my arrival with Fluffy, but I also need to have $135 emergency fee ready. $135!!!!! I've heard of cat burglars, but not vet burglars! When we arrive, the thief....er, I mean, the vet, ushers us into an examination room and gives Fluffy a thorough exam. The cursed cat doesn't even hiss at him. "Gums look good. throat feels fine. I felt her abdomen and don't feel any obstructions. Other than a bit of dehydration, I think she's OK. My best bet is she's got a case of indigestion." "Indigestion?!" THE ONLY THING BOT BEING DIGESTED RIGHT NOW IS THE ASSAULT TO MY BANK ACCOUNT. "Ya, an upset timmy. I can give you come feline antacid for $20 and some easy-to digest cat food, and I think she'll be fine. If you like, I can take her temperature just to be certain, but most cats don't like the..........ah.......invasion." I steel my eyes at Fluffy. "You cost me a hundred and fifty bucks on account of a case of heartburn?!" She starts purring and licks my hand. "No doctor, I think we better investigate all avenues. Bring on the thermometer!" "Grrrr......rooooooaaarrrrrrr!" Cost of emergency visit: $167. Cost of therapy for post traumatic vet-bill disorder: $75. Look on Fluffy's face when introduced to a thermometer: absolutely priceless. Eph 2:10 We are his workmanship (poiema, or poem, or work of art) created in Christ Jesus. God is an artist and you are His masterpiece! |
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11/24/2008 1:47 am |
`\ ``\___ ```/\ ` /\ `` /`\` /`\ ` ` ` ` ` ` `  lollllolololollll oh no  InHisLoveYSICsharloa
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11/22/2008 8:54 pm |
`\ ``\___ ```/\ ` /\ `` /`\` /`\ ` ` ` ` ` ` ` InHisLoveYSICsharloa
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11/22/2008 2:21 am |
I_Am_1_Rib_Short replies on 11/21/2008 8:09 pm: I was just editorializing about the cat!!! hey there! sorry for the cat-fusion, uh, confusion. regarding the hair re-solution: if you and i could stumble across something that rejuvenated hair follicles, we'd be flying around in our private jets like the big three auto presidents right now, don't ya think? i was playing along (in my serious scientific manner while you entertained me) to see what you come up with next. sorry! InHisLoveYSICsharloa
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11/20/2008 4:56 pm |
I_Am_1_Rib_Short replies on 11/10/2008 12:07 pm: Hi Shar, I have also tried pheromones, washing my head with special laundry detergent, cortisone shots...............NOTHING IS WORKING..... RAWRRRRRRRRR...I STILL CAN'T GROW HAIR did i hear right? did you get a new cat? is there a sad story here? the one on this post is a calico siamese, right? the one on the recent post, your new roommate, has black hair: do you think a new cat will help you grow hair? hmm, hadn't thought of that... well, maybe... it could be an environmental issue, though. maybe a diet and vitamin supplements focused on a healthy scalp could get you something going - do you think? i've had a great response to b-12, but not pills, because i can't absorb in my damaged tummy. and, certain oils do amazing things. who knows? i do know that my ex had a condition his whole life and with one sentence, i gave him the answer. yeah, i was amazed too! i just rattled it off! things like that happen. God is good! blessings, shar InHisLoveYSICsharloa
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11/20/2008 4:53 pm |
I_Am_1_Rib_Short replies on 11/10/2008 12:07 pm: Hi Shar, I have also tried pheromones, washing my head with special laundry detergent, cortisone shots...............NOTHING IS WORKING..... RAWRRRRRRRRR...I STILL CAN'T GROW HAIR did i hear right? did you get a new cat? is there a sad story here? the one on this post was a calico siamese, right? the one on the recent post, your new roommate, has black hair: do you think a new cat will help you grow hair? hmm, hadn't thought of that... well, maybe... it could be an environmental issue, though. maybe a diet and vitamin supplements focused on a healthy scalp could get you something going - do you think? i've had a great response to b-12, but not pills, because i can't absorb in my damaged tummy. and, certain oils do amazing things. who knows? i do know that my ex had a condition his whole life and with one sentence, i gave him the answer. yeah, i was amazed too! i just rattled it off! things like that happen. God is good! blessings, shar InHisLoveYSICsharloa
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11/1/2008 9:49 pm |
I_Am_1_Rib_Short replies on 10/29/2008 10:10 pm: Hi Shar, Maybe the reason I'm bald is allergies??? do you think??? I tried switching to wheat cat litter, but I'm still bald. A cross-eyed cat, now that is too funny!!! I get it. GBY, Gary LOL, ahem LOL louder too funny!!  sharInHisLoveYSICsharloa
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11/1/2008 12:31 am |
My name is Belovedbyhim and I am not a cat person. Wow Gary your right. It does feel good to say it!!! Luckily for me I am allergic to cats as well as not liking them. So, thats my out. I do love the dogs though. This blog is good. Your funny. Faith is not believing that God can - It's knowing that He will!
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10/27/2008 2:56 pm |
yes, cats AND dogs have allergies just like people... my cat had major bald areas! it took me two years; cat cortisone shots, cat antidepressants, special laundry detergents for my cat, special diets for my cat, cat pheromones, etc. (all to no avail) to finally find out that the way to get her hair to grow back in on her belly and legs was TO STOP BUYING CLAY CAT LITTER!! she has swheat cat litter now (made from wheat)! and, within weeks of changing to it, her hair started filling in and she now has a beautiful coat of hair all over! and, by the way, the cat pheromones did make her feel better... much more playful and happier - kind of like uncrossing a cat's eyes, if you get my meaning. that's just another example of how one needs to be part detective as a cat owner. i wondered how long it would take me to get that one solved! blessings and good health to you both! shar InHisLoveYSICsharloa
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10/26/2008 10:42 pm |
I'm so sorry about your emergency bonding experience! I'm glad, however, that it turned out the way it did. I had a similar experience, but it racked up over $1200 and the vet didn't expect my kitty to live. We were fortunate. (The vet calls it a MIRACLE!) She sent my Teddy home for us to say, "Good-bye." When I came back with her the next year, she asked, "Is this really Teddy? I didn't expect to see her like this." Anyway, kudos to you, for being aware when your kitty was out of sorts. She was exhibiting the signs of poisoning and/or toxicity. I would have given her a bath, boiled chicken for her, changed all her bed clothes and made sure that no poisons were out to re-expose. I would have checked the internet to make certain that none of her foods were on the recall list and I would have added extra fluid to her foods. If she was tempted, I would have given her raw meat - either beef steak or chicken (small pieces, with water) or, if she was having trouble eating, I would have bought strained baby food and added water to it to make a broth. My cat, although "recovered", is very sensitive to chemicals, and just a whiff of ant poison or another chemical from outside, will make her stagger and drool and need special treatment to pull out of the exposure. I also have multiple chemical sensitivity, caused by chemical exposure at printing companies, so we're a good match - two little old ladies, who can't take a big whiff of anything strong.InHisLoveYSICsharloa
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10/21/2008 6:45 pm |
All I can say is: 
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10/17/2008 9:18 am |
Yup! And just to make you feel even better.....this is the reception I received after being gone 17 hours for work today......... [image] Don't ya just love it!!! Standards can only use it in their own blog and in the heading. Therefore I can't see anything here! Just the text. If you have seen photos in others' comments, that's only when they are uploaded as photos! 
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10/17/2008 8:03 am |
Quoting: I_Am_1_Rib_Short replies on 10/17/2008 4:19 am: How do YOU spell "cat?" ********** CAT, Cat, cat. Letters combinations = 6 CAT, CTA, ACT, ATC, TAC, TCA
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10/16/2008 6:31 pm |
Yup! And just to make you feel even better.....this is the reception I received after being gone 17 hours for work today......... [image] Don't ya just love it!!!  I will never leave you.....
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10/16/2008 6:07 pm |
Garfield and Jon living on the Mars version. 
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 10/16/2008 5:38 pm |
LOL..... I feel for you. Been there. When my youngest son moved back home after college, he soon had 2 cats. One weekend, one of them exhibited similar symptoms as yours...and looked a bit frightful. Our only option was the emergency animal hospital. It turned out to be a urinary track infection and they kept him overnight. $280 ! I think I should get a job there.
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10/16/2008 2:01 pm |
A cat needs rhetorical intriCATe and subtle finesses... One needs to acquire qualifiCATions... No particular religious affiliations: f.x. One doesn't need to be CATholic... etc. If you perform a CATcall, I can guarantee the CAT will NOT come to you, but go on hiding! When one doesn't have any more CATs left, then one can ACT differently! It's extremely important though to be very TACtful whatever ACTion one TAKes. ACTually one doesn't need to be an ACTor either, to ACTivate one's potentials. Follow your heart and you will be ACTuated! Remember, never run, or you will get TAChypnea and chronic TAChycardia! KATa training is not recommended either. (nor KAraTe) Your silence may be TAKen to mean TACit agreement. About CATering and deliCATessen: I've never heard if a CAT likes CATfish, but I'm quite sure it wouldn't like TACo!! therefore don't overreACT! Have a good day! Next time a CAT joke.  _________ PS: The following will be clickable (by mouse or TrACkpad) only when they'll turn blue and underlined. 1) TO ALL... 2) OBAMA, McCAIN, BUSH, CLINTON (2 PALIN's now) and more: WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD???
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10/16/2008 5:58 am |
You learned a lesson here,, you exist and work for the comfort and well being of the cat,,,,, a cat owns YOU,,, not the other way,,LOLOLOL so learn your place in the household.. SERVANT.... Bye the way, Im owned by two...
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 10/16/2008 5:43 am |
Your funny Gary! Trying to tell us you are not a cat person yet you go biserk when you think something is wrong with your cat. I think you love your cat Gary and I want you to know THAT IS OKAY! I have to agree with you about vets though, most of them are thieves! Is Fluffy better now?? GBY!  in your life means Jesus is in your heart. 
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10/16/2008 4:10 am |
lololol what a hoot...the look on Fluffy's face...priceless!!  yup there's always the pros and cons to everything...great to know that you feel better having said that you're not a cat person...each to his/her own..I'm not >>>>>> a 'snake' person for sure  Thanks for your post...had a good chuckle reading it... Man can make many plans...BUT it is the Lord who will direct his paths....
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was a transplant from the cat, but I don't look good with black hair...and the cat didn't look good, bald. Also, her owner didn't appreciate me shaving his cat 
. That, plus the fact that I was shedding all over his furniture.
