 | Blogs > I_Am_1_Rib_Short > Gary's musings > Topics for pre-marriage discussion |
|
||||||||
Last Read: |
1. Socio-economic backgrounds of family 2. Intelligence 3. Formal education 4. Verbal skills 5. Expected roles for both persons within the marriage 6. Views about power distribution within the family 7. Desired number of children 8. When a family should be started 9. Child rearing views 10. Political philosophy 11. Views about smoking, alcohol and drugs 12. Amount of involvement with in-laws 13. Sense of humour 14. Punctuality 15. Dependability 16. Desire for verbal intimacy and be ability to be intimate 17. The role of conflict and how to resolve it. 18. The way to handle anger. 19. How friendships with the opposite sex should be handled 20. Expected amount of privacy and rules for its use 21. Level of ambition 22. Life goals 23. Attitudes about weight 24. Religious and spiritual beliefs and preferences 25. Amount of church involvement 26. Family spiritual involvement 27. Hobbies and interests 28. Type of music enjoyed (and at what volume) 29. Energy level for physical activities 30. Sexual drive and sexual interests 31. Amount of income to be spent and saved 32. How money should be allocated (clothes, vacations, etc.) 33. Amount of money to be given away and to whom 34. Degree of risks to be taken with investments 35. Attitudes about cleanliness -- house, clothes, body, etc. 36. Ways of handling sickness 37. Health standards -- when to see a doctor 38. Interpersonal and social skills 39. Amount and type of social involvement preferred 40. Geographical area in which to live 41. Size and style of house 42. Type of furniture and decorations 43. Amount and type of travel preferred 44. How to spend vacations 45. How to celebrate major holidays 46. How much time to spend together 47. When to go to sleep and get up 48. Temperature of home during the day and night 49. Activity during meals (talking,, watching TV, etc.) 50. Television programs preferred 51. Distribution of chores 52. Gender roles 53. Discretionary amount of money Eph 2:10 We are his workmanship (poiema, or poem, or work of art) created in Christ Jesus. God is an artist and you are His masterpiece! |
|||||||
10/22/2008 12:44 am |
Mine is yours, eh ? 
| |||||||
10/22/2008 12:41 am |
who said that don't give up so easily    
| |||||||
10/21/2008 5:47 pm |
 well done.  You only say one word wrong. That seems to be a habitual behavior.  Lets see if we can fix that. Next time when you want to say yours is mine, picture that I have 14 kids. By doing so, I think your such a habitual behavior will soon be diminished. ps in reward of your great improvement and can do attitude, I have mail you a mirror to your mail box. Enjoy your exercises 
| |||||||
10/21/2008 4:27 am |
Lets see if there is any improvement after you doing following exercise. Stand in front of a mirror. Look at yourself, smile and say Mine is yours and yours is yours. Repeat Mine is yours and yours is yours. Say five times every morning and before you sleep. Smile is a vital part of this exercise. So do not forget to smile. I hope to see the improvement soon. Good luck to your practicing, young man.
| |||||||
10/20/2008 4:53 pm |
It all depends on whether you can say 'mine is yours' with difficulty. Guess we are back to square one again.
| |||||||
10/20/2008 1:44 am |
You may be happy to know that your such obedient attitude will soon send you to the table of pre-marriage discussion. Regarding to your  , it is just for me to check you out whether these 3 words are difficult for you to say. And I am happy to announce that you have passed this test. By the way you may want to go to what are the hardes words, do you think, for people to say ? and the hardest 3 words to say for further details and put down your comments and vote.
| |||||||
10/19/2008 5:47 pm |
Gary, thanks for your patience and responding to my silly comments. You really made my days. Are I and you having a pre-marital discussion here??? That's a question I won't answer you and you need to figure it out yourself. I think up to now we can know a bit about each other regarding to the topics you listed out in your post. And it is a demo of that during the interacting between the couple aka dating, the couple will be able to touch the topics you mentioned in an informal ways. Say 'you are right'.
| |||||||
10/18/2008 7:50 am |
Show me otherwise 
| |||||||
10/17/2008 12:35 am |
or Gary, an anagram for Gray????
| |||||||
10/16/2008 7:32 pm |
....I wonder if there might be somme hidden meaning there..... you don't know that..I thought you were John Gray in disguise And everyone has heard of Martians, but who has ever heard of Venusians???? Call George Adamski  . He said that he had come into contact with some Venusians in a desert. Wonder why I so want to sing the song "What a Wonderful World" now.
| |||||||
10/16/2008 1:21 am |
I_Am_1_Rib_Short replies on 10/16/2008 1:11 pm: My ex used to sy that all the time when we got married.........turns out she really meant it  Sorry to hear that. My verbal skills are definitely better than that. On the other hand, Man, please remember that you are from Mars and we Women are from Venus. Though we are made from your ribs, at times we may speak different languages.
| |||||||
10/15/2008 8:04 pm |
ah, I forgot.... In response to your pertaining "What's mine is mine and what's his is mine too."....that sounds more like a decree than a question, no???My reply is "you say tomato, I say tomahto'... 
| |||||||
10/15/2008 6:59 pm |
oops..our compatibility score, according to BC, is 56/100. Hmmm, I can see that we are indeed average out.
| |||||||
10/15/2008 12:35 am |
It seems that there is a huge difference between us. For me, I am a very simple and less demanding woman. I only have one question on my mind yet you don't want to talk about it. lol lol And you, you seems to be very complicated and more demanding and I don't think you will be satisfied by asking mere 53 questions. lol lol
| |||||||
10/14/2008 11:13 am |
Sorry. I wasn't gonna make a comment about it because that was not the topic, but it bothered me too much. I don't doubt that she would not use the Lord's name in vain but sometimes we tend to use words without knowing their meaning. I've done it and stopped. You can just delete my comments if you want. It's your blog. No worries. Sometimes one should be more tactful! There are differences of opinion on what constitutes the Lord's name and not. You might want to review the following two linked earlier blogs, that created a little "turbulence" in the Spirit: 1) -->[post 132857] 2) -->Holy Guacamole Batman! BB ___________________ That which is born of the flesh is flesh; and that which is born of the spirit is spirit. ( John 3:6 ) 
| |||||||
10/14/2008 5:50 am |
Wow, Beven is back! Another vacation, huh? However, you missed the CAR topic. Meow is right, what about the CAT?? CATs are very versatile. Actually they are defined as: small domesticated carnivorous mammals with soft fur, a short snout, and retractile claws. Widely kept as pets... (Notice also their innate predisposition in/to domestiCATion Do not mix it with CATtle... that's different! I don't want to sound CATty or CATtish, but as far as I can see though, you have indirectly mentioned it in: eduCATion alloCATion and vaCATion And it's CATegorically implied in CATechesis, CATechism, CATaphatic affirmation, etc. and all the other CAT's. Also TV and Television programs might be expanded with CATv in your CATalog. As a curiosity there's some irregularities with the verb CATch too. (Not only with "mices"!!! )Have a good day! 
| |||||||
10/14/2008 5:19 am |
Sorry. I wasn't gonna make a comment about it because that was not the topic, but it bothered me too much. I don't doubt that she would not use the Lord's name in vain but sometimes we tend to use words without knowing their meaning. I've done it and stopped. You can just delete my comments if you want. It's your blog. No worries. Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.(Psalm 150:6) 
| |||||||
10/14/2008 4:13 am |
Lol, will use your list when we run out of my list of things to discuss. Will work wonders for a long internet relationship. I know it is needed but I am too impulsive and impatient for that. Will sit down and ask him if he can talk in shorthand. I am an artist and my ex an accountant. It was a recipe for disaster, I frustrated him immensely. I would pack up and plan a weekend away on a friday afternoon, him? Needed at least a few weeks. He would ask me in January where I think we should spend our December holiday, ARE YOU SERIOUS? I never think that far ahead. He needed a business plan for my household spending, a painting was not acceptable...... How I would view these: 1. Socio-economic backgrounds of family - First date discussion 2. Intelligence - if he is able to discuss no 1 3. Formal education - Spell: commitment 4. Verbal skills - If he passes no 2 5. Expected roles for both persons within the marriage - me wife, you husband 6. Views about power distribution within the family - Female secret 7. Desired number of children - at my age!!!!! 8. When a family should be started - refer to no 7 9. Child rearing views - he has a mother, I do not date guys that young 10. Political philosophy - who do I vote for Darling 11. Views about smoking, alcohol and drugs - lets see where he takes me for the 1st date 12. Amount of involvement with in-laws - how often do you see them over a 5 year period? 13. Sense of humor - If you are still reading, you have one 14. Punctuality - is that before or after the wedding 15. Dependability - You'd better be there when I need you 16. Desire for verbal intimacy and be ability to be intimate - the 1st date lasted past dessert 17. The role of conflict and how to resolve it- it was not me 18. The way to handle anger - run baby run 19. How friendships with the opposite sex should be handled - at a distance 20. Expected amount of privacy and rules for its use - my space and your space, which is also my space 21. Level of ambition - you are dating me! 22. Life goals - at our age!!!!!! if you do not have it, you are never gonna get it 23. Attitudes about weight - just agree with me on this one - then we can avoid no's 17 and 18 24. Religious and spiritual beliefs and preferences - What are you planning for the wedding? 25. Amount of church involvement - will know after 1st week 26. Family spiritual involvement - do not understand this question, maybe no 2 has not kicked in yet 27. Hobbies and interests - you pay for it 28. Type of music enjoyed (and at what volume) - you mean there is a volume control - talk louder, cannot hear you 29. Energy level for physical activities - what about a hike up Kilimanjaro 30. Sexual drive and sexual interests - what about a hike up Kilimanjaro 31. Amount of income to be spent and saved - your department, just ask me for my account no 32. How money should be allocated (clothes, vacations, etc.) - it is negotiable? 33. Amount of money to be given away and to whom - refer to no 31 34. Degree of risks to be taken with investments - refer to no 31 35. Attitudes about cleanliness -- house, clothes, body, etc. - do you pick up after yourself and me 36. Ways of handling sickness - For me or you? 37. Health standards -- when to see a doctor - refer to 36 38. Interpersonal and social skills - somehow we never get this far, I wonder what I am doing wrong? 39. Amount and type of social involvement preferred - do not interfere, refer to 17 and 18 40. Geographical area in which to live - let me get that magazine for you 41. Size and style of house - let me get that magazine for you 42. Type of furniture and decorations - let me get that magazine for you 43. Amount and type of travel preferred - let me get that magazine for you 44. How to spend vacations - let me get that magazine for you 45. How to celebrate major holidays - let me get that magazine for you 46. How much time to spend together - you want time apart????? 47. When to go to sleep and get up - do not worry, I will tell you when you are tired 48. Temperature of home during the day and night - silly question 49. Activity during meals (talking,, watching TV, etc.) - we eat during meals silly 50. Television programs preferred - I will tell you when to watch ok 51. Distribution of chores - I have your list all made up 52. Gender roles - me woman, you man 53. Discretionary amount of money - - refer to no 31 Lol by the time we are done with this, there are grounds for a divorce!!! On our way home Quartzsite Arizona Hi and bye Going on a road trip Thanks giving ideas
| |||||||
10/14/2008 2:13 am |
Interesting list. Is there anything left to talk about AFTER we get married? Peter "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth" 2 Timothy 2 v 15
| |||||||
 10/13/2008 8:13 pm |
I am already tired  and don't have a partner to discuss 1-6 and 10-53...as for 7-9 I'm past that time in my life  I'll have to keep this list handy just in case!!!Don't judge each day by the Harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.
| |||||||
10/13/2008 7:51 pm |
Some of ladies just want to make sure one thing. That is whether 'what is mine is mine and what is his is mine too'. For me, in addition to above information, I find your list to be very useful. Lets find a beautiful beach and have a nice good discussion .
| |||||||
10/13/2008 7:04 pm |
after discussing all that I m sure I can find at least one area of incompability...LOLOl or Id be to tired to think of marriage...
| |||||||
10/13/2008 6:33 pm |
Man, I hate it when people say 'crikey'. I've heard someone from new zealand explain that it's a form/version of the name Christ. So, you've basically said "Christ, with all that discussing...who has time to get married" It being used that way...perhaps I am one of the few who cringe when people use G-o-d or Christ in that way. So carelessly. The saddest part is that some people also use words like G-o-d and Christ the same way they would use a cuss word. Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.(Psalm 150:6)
| |||||||
10/13/2008 6:30 pm |
. . .
. If 24 - 26 is not first and foremost, you can forget the other 50. Without Christ at the center to be foremost, your relationship and marriage will fail. Get the priorities right, kept right individually, then maybe they will be sound together? Trust me, I have put the other 50 first. The other 3 were just too hard for the other. Who knows? Those 3 are key. The cat sleeps in the house, the dog stays out !!! The cat in the bedroom, the dog in the garage if it must not freeze. Not a dog person. The bird and fish can stay with the dog also. All other critters definitely stay outside !!!!!!!!!!! Second thought, the bird and fish are an emergency food supply, they can stay in the house. Just know where the dog and horse are for back up. If she does not agree, the other 50 do not matter either. . . Saying I am sorry is WORTHLESS without real repentance. True or FALSE ? Without a personal and intimate relationship with God, how can you ever realize the true identity and person of God? Continue to be faithful, deliverance is near, obedience must be seen, be an unconditional blessing as He continues to bless you. This time is short, serve Him well, serving all. Without exception. Know ? Yes ? ? .
Meow?  .
.
| |||||||
10/13/2008 6:22 pm |
Great list. Somehow we tend to forget to talk about all these things. Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.(Psalm 150:6)
| |||||||
10/13/2008 6:22 pm |
Crikey, with all that discussing.....who has time to get married??? Penelope Captive of Hope 
| |||||||
 |
 |
 |
| Become a member to comment on this blog | ||
 |
