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Lord I Don
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Brethren, As you may recall me writing from my previous posts about the property settlement with my x husband that I had to wait for over 10 years to get my fair share for my 2 girls and the shocked lawyer which hasn't gone through as they were saying it would (of course I took their words for gospel). My x and myself have built a mansion overseas (I had no say in it of course it was his way or the highway). The house was built on his fathers property on his fathers name of course.I was against it as he has 2 sisters and thought they will try to get a part of it,and suggested that the house be under his and my name.His reply was he didn't trust me.ME..who tolerated his womanizing,drinking,gambling and paying for his debts,overseas vacations all by his self visiting his family,my parents paying for his parent's and sisters fare which haven't been refunded to this day. When he said I couldn't be trusted I again said perhaps the house should be on our girls names to which he bluntly said he didn't trust them either..!!?? I-my girls my parent's who was the very opposite of him couldn't be trusted..!!!???? HHMMMMM.. Shortly afterwords I found out a piece of land right next to the house was bought by him which was under his name only. By then I felt I was being stabbed thousand times with a butchers knife and my heart was being ripped out bit by bit..Time for a confrontation that I wasn't looking forward to.He said he was hoping to surprise me by not mentioning it to me..(another pleasant surprise,how fortunate was I ??) His father passed away this year and I was told by my lawyer that I was successful in getting half of the property.WOW JUSTICE FINALLY..Last night my mom called from overseas advising me not to worry I wont be getting anything out of the settlement simply because the property is on his younger sisters name,which the lawyer knew from day ONE..and now NOTHING..First time the judge was paid by my x now he was.. Last night when I heard the news I cannot explain what and how I felt,why is he doing this to his girls,he tells them he loves them,would do anything for them.When we cook they take food to him,give money when he's broke which is often,(I don't).. He spends time with the younger one but our older he hardly ever did-does yet they both love him dearly and tell him..I love you dad.I hardly hear those words from them..not that I mind because I feel it.. Second heartache is I purchased an apartment and wasn't able to go ahead with it,was meant to get a FULL REFUND according to my lawyer here to which she was surprised as I was the ONLY ONE that would get it back.However only 50% was put into my account other half the developer took as interest..extremely tiny possibility that he just might feel sorry for me and give the rest.. Where I live now there's a high crime,drinking,drugs,fights constant noise,have been trying to get another place to move to but to no avail.Have become a nervous wreck,withdrawn into a shell of despair.Sleepless nights,hands,body trembling,don't feel like and not able to read as much as used to,or pray as much. Can't even cry,my eyes are wet with tears but no tear is rolling down my cheeks,my bones are dry,my spirit's vexed,feel like a bomb ready to explode..hanging onto God by fingernails..SIGH.... HE's in control i know..BUT..why is He allowing all this to happen AGAIN..??? Am I absolutely 100% sure and feel His love..??? YES..but then why am I discouraged by this injustice then,why why why..?? Most of the time I don't allow things to get to me,am I angry with YOU LORD..?? NOOOO..just questioning YOU ..need answers..please,please..don't be angry with me for having this great need to have answers..Don't want to be stuck where I'm now. If I'm to remain where I'm now I cannot do the work YOU have placed before me and I know You need me there OH' LORD MY GOD..... Take this cup away from me..but only if it's YOUR WILL LORD... Please don't allow satan to have his way with me..now or ever. I'm yours Lord..You died for me..You purchased me Lord,there's nothing about me that You don't know.My life has been as Job's for most of my life as You know... Have Thy Own Way Lord Have Thy Own Way, Thou Art The Potter I'm The Clay. Make Me And Mold Me Please Sweet Lord I Pray.....  Amen GodIsMovinfByHisSpirit |
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6/29/2009 12:29 am |
Marianna, can not imagine the pain your suffering, I will pray extra for you that God reveals to you His plan and comforts you
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6/29/2009 1:26 am |
 this is so painful to hear marianna, does your x no the lord? keep asking and pouring your heart out, u will be heard, and the answer is on it's way
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6/29/2009 1:58 am |
Marianna, Alot of times God allows us to go through trials because He wants to actually have the very worst traits of our characters to come up so we ourselves can see them and change into the person that He wants us to be. Other times, God is testing us to see what we will do in each situation. Other times He might have something come out of the entire thing, only He knows what that will be. Other times, God doesnt have anything at all to do with it, and we created the entire thing ourselves, or got ourselves into it. I myself am kind of going through the same type of things, where I have spent alot of time wondering which of the above thing it is that God is doing in my life. Theres no way to know, but we can just pray and listen... and He might reveal parts of His plan to us. But remember, Jesus said, "What I do thou knowest not now; but thou shalt know hereafter." John:13: 7 Some things we just wont know till this life is over. In the meantime, just MAKE SURE you are always in prayer, studying the Scriptures, talking to God about EVERYTHING and listening.... always endeavoring to do His will in all things. THEN, whatever happens will be the right thing for you. Ti:2:14: Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity
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6/29/2009 6:17 am |
Marianna, can not imagine the pain your suffering, I will pray extra for you that God reveals to you His plan and comforts you Extra gratitude for all that you have and are still doing. It's abuild up that has been going on for a long period.. Have bitten more then i could chew..From this day forward I have no other option but look after number one,know I said that few times in the past this time it must happen. LYB.. GodIsMovinfByHisSpirit
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6/29/2009 8:53 am |
Let go, let God. I place you in the Hands of my MIGHTY Father and in the meantime I will send the Holy Spirit to Comfort and Guide! ((((((((Marianna)))))))) Christians are like Timex watches. We take a lickin', but We keep on tickin'! Steve 
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6/29/2009 9:19 am |
There was-is one very special person that I felt very easy sharing my ups and downs with who I know I could trust 100% who I think the world off.Thank you my dear friend-mentor for being the one I can come to when I need to pour my heart out... You always know what to say and how to say it.You are God's gift to me,and You know who you are without mentioning your name.. GodIsMovinfByHisSpirit
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6/29/2009 9:22 am |
My sisters Donna n Claudia, Replied 2x to your comments which didn't go thrugh..will re write it in the morning LYBOTH.. GodIsMovinfByHisSpirit
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6/29/2009 12:43 pm |
Sorry to hear your troubles and praying for your situation...... "There is no pit so deep, that God's love is not deeper still" Corrie Tenboom
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6/29/2009 5:51 pm |
Marianna. Email me You are STILL way purdier than me!  Christians are like Timex watches. We take a lickin', but We keep on tickin'! Steve
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6/29/2009 5:54 pm |
439? No, that's Victoria. stephen804 Christians are like Timex watches. We take a lickin', but We keep on tickin'! Steve
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6/29/2009 5:57 pm |
545? 645? Christians are like Timex watches. We take a lickin', but We keep on tickin'! Steve
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6/29/2009 6:51 pm |
Marianna. All I need to know is if 545 or 645 is right. Write me at stephen804 and I will call you. I just called Chrissy and left a message. I thought maybe she would have your tellie. I hate to see my friends hurting. Christians are like Timex watches. We take a lickin', but We keep on tickin'! Steve
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6/29/2009 8:33 pm |
I'm in agreement with my wife for your your situation, Marianna-in the mighty name of Jesus. NdnThomas and Ladylightwalker forever. .
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6/30/2009 12:54 am |
Donna, To answer your question which is clearly evident even tho there s always 2 sides to every story...NO..his parents while they were here told me to work hard be better-wealthier then all the people we know and look upon them as if they were ants..Can an apple fall far from the apple tree..?? GodIsMovinfByHisSpirit
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6/30/2009 1:23 am |
Claudia, Yes your right in your reply.. Am aware that it was my foolish trusting actions that got me where I'm now.All my family-relatives,friends warned me not to but I was in that marriage with all of me,giving it a 100% not 50-50.In a way I don't have a guilty conscience knowing I gave it my best shot.What I do regret is not walking out of it right away.When I did leave few times he did threaten to kill my parents and me..that was the only reason that I ended coming back even tho I was black and blue God knows how many times.On 2 occasions he told me his mates are on their way to come and rape me.Once he pretended to be dead in front of one of my girl when she was about 5 years old.I wanted him dead,was thinking how to kill him which really frightened me,told my minister,my doctor...Shortly afterwords divorced him..I could write a book of all he did to my whole family.Stayed with him because a very old lady told me that one day he will find God.What a stupid person I was to believe that. GodIsMovinfByHisSpirit
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6/30/2009 1:28 am |
Steven, Thank you so much mate..Have tried numerous times to send emails to you still not going through..No that is NOT my fone number and wouldn't write it on the blogs..(bad boi) GodIsMovinfByHisSpirit
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6/30/2009 1:32 am |
R n T... Thank you both so much for being there for me. GodIsMovinfByHisSpirit
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6/30/2009 7:36 am |
 Lord, keep one hand on my shoulder and one hand over my mouth!
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6/30/2009 8:56 am |
After reading what's on here, I thank God you and your kids are still alive. I was almost killed by a mean man about 8 yrs ago. I should have gotten out before that happened. Stay safe. "There is no pit so deep, that God's love is not deeper still" Corrie Tenboom
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6/30/2009 9:13 am |
Claudia, Yes your right in your reply.. Am aware that it was my foolish trusting actions that got me where I'm now.All my family-relatives,friends warned me not to but I was in that marriage with all of me,giving it a 100% not 50-50.In a way I don't have a guilty conscience knowing I gave it my best shot.What I do regret is not walking out of it right away.When I did leave few times he did threaten to kill my parents and me..that was the only reason that I ended coming back even tho I was black and blue God knows how many times.On 2 occasions he told me his mates are on their way to come and rape me.Once he pretended to be dead in front of one of my girl when she was about 5 years old.I wanted him dead,was thinking how to kill him which really frightened me,told my minister,my doctor...Shortly afterwords divorced him..I could write a book of all he did to my whole family.Stayed with him because a very old lady told me that one day he will find God.What a stupid person I was to believe that. With the part about you realizing it was your foolish actions that got you into this, thats not exactly what I meant... You cant do anything about changing the past now. Im talking about anything that you might be doing NOW that could be contributing to whatever bad things are going on... I dont know the situation, really, only you do, but what Im saying is for you to really with all your heart lay everything all before God, ans sincerely ask Him to show you IF you have any wrong motives, any wrong ideas that arent biblical, etc and so forth. Because thats what I had to do and what I AM doing right now. Its so easy to fool yourself. I just dont want you to be aiding in hurting your own self in anyway, if what Im trying to tell you. But anyway just be careful and allow this thing to bring you much closer to God than you ever were. Theres no telling what God might do to use the entire thing. Im just saying DONT FRET about it... really believe that God sees and know everything about it all and that He knows EXACTLY why Hes allowing you to go through it and He also knows EXACTLY what you should do about it at every step of the way now. ...that can be very comforting. Thats what Ive been trying to learn myself, and wow its difficult. I will pray for you, Sweetie Girl, an for your kids too. Ti:2:14: Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity
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