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Sex Outside Of Marriage.......Are Consequences Worth It? I'm writing this post which may offend some but It's something I feel the Lord would have me post.God made sex as both pleasure and a form of populating the world but really he made sex to be a covenant between a husband and wife as 2 become one.It's uniting the spirit with the natural and being in agreement with each other and God. Sex is the marriage covenant that brings the oneness together and is binding between them and God. It's a bonding of the souls and hearts.When sex is used outside of marriage there is an unholy bonding that is between you, the partner and everyone else you've bonded with.1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.There are many consequences for sexual sin outside of marriage. 11And when she had brought them unto him to eat, he took hold of her, and said unto her, Come lie with me, my sister. 12And she answered him, Nay, my brother, do not force me; for no such thing ought to be done in Israel: do not thou this folly. 13And I, whither shall I cause my shame to go? and as for thee, thou shalt be as one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, I pray thee, speak unto the king; for he will not withhold me from thee. 14Howbeit he would not hearken unto her voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her. 15Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone. 16And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her. 17Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her. The thing God showed me was when Amnon took Tamar and had sex with her his hate grew stronger then the love and desire he had for her in the first place.When a union is not Holy the natural forces rise up in the flesh and seek to devour the union as without God there is no Holiness, The picture God gave me was in marriage its like taking a magnet with 2 opposite poles and they connect and are strong, but in a relationship it's like having the same 2 magnetic poles and won't join no matter what you do.Thats what happens in those relationships that aren't sanctified.Many couples who have sexual relationships before marriage will end up in divorce because the foundation was tainted from the start. Now I'm not saying there is no forgiveness.God is faithful and just to forgive.It's consequences that follow an unholy union. The laws of reaping and sowing.Hebrews 13:4 (Whole Chapter) Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.I again am speaking from experience and make myself transparent before you and am not proud of choices I've made. I was married two times 22 years between the two and both times had sex before marriage. Both marriages ended and I've seen my own consequences fall on my oldest .I will not make this same mistake a 3rd time knowing the high price of consequences God has shown me, and the fact that God is now becoming my all and the one I seek approval from. If a man can't wait for me in marriage then obviously It's not Gods choice for me in the first place. Be Blessed Please remember to keep our soldiers in your prayers!!! Kristy |
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4/18/2008 10:15 pm |
Thanks Michael!!! Good comment!!!GBY Please remember to keep our soldiers in your prayers!!! Kristy
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4/18/2008 10:19 pm |
Kristy, i can see and understand the pain you are going through and the mistakes you have made, GBY Kristy, God is with you, he will strengthen you, amen. Gods way is my way,...Clay
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4/18/2008 10:19 pm |
Pat, yes you are right in that she was taken by force. What the Lord was showing me how hate was replaced by love as it was outside of marriage, but what the Lord also showed me is spiritually that is happening in relationships outside of marriage.It's hard to write the pictures the Lord gives me but the consequences are the same as in this scripture. Love can turn to hate. GBY Please remember to keep our soldiers in your prayers!!! Kristy
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4/18/2008 10:22 pm |
Good post Kristy; You tell it like it is. I'm not sure if using when Amnon took Tamar and had sex with her is the best example for the points your are making though. Yes, it was ungodly, and immoral, but this particular story isn't about immoral sex in itself, but more of the inside story of . Contrary to popular belief, is not about sex, it's about control. The ultimate and most humbling thing any man can do to control a woman is to force her to have sex against her will. Even in the story of Amnon and Tamar this is the case. It wasn't just simply that Amnon wanted to have sex with Tamar, but he wanted that feeling of control over her that only comes from . Tamar was willing to obtain the king's blessing, and have consentual sex with him. But consentual wasn't what Amnon wanted,it was control. It is likely that the reason Amnon hated Tamar in the end was because she gave in and didn't fight him. By becoming willing and submissive on her own, would have denied him that feeling of control he would have received had she fought him all the way through. Which is how one can deflate a situation if she can't escape. One of two other misnomers here are a lot of folks read into the text that she meant that the king would give her in marriage, but it doesn't say that. It says the king wouldn't withhold her from him. Which is a nice way of saying that the king would have allowed her to become his concubine. Otherwise it would have specificly said wife. The other misnomer is a lot of folks think the problem here was . Again no it wasn't. was very common in royal families. While there were commandments against it, the people of that day didn't believe they applied to royality. So the particulars in this story is less about sexual immorality, and more about . However, that doesn't diminish from the points you made, for they are totaly valid. I can't think of any Biblical passages off hand that does make your exact point. The closest that comes to mind is in 1st Thes. 4:3-8; Isaiah 66:2b; But to this one I will look, To him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word.
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4/18/2008 10:29 pm |
Mia, I love you and Ken and am not trying to condemn.I just had to be obedient to writing these posts and now I need to live them myself.I just learned so many things the hard way and God is trying to use my life and mistakes to help others.Hes at least making me accountable to others through my posts. Love ya girl!!!GBY Please remember to keep our soldiers in your prayers!!! Kristy
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I think it applies to all the decisions we take, very often it is in the eye of the beholder, and how you interpret certain scriptures. For me, I always look at the consequences of a decision, am I willing to take the chance? I tend to act towards instant gratification, so I am extra careful. It does however not safeguard me against wrong decisions. Hi there, just had to pop in to say hi. 
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The point is sound...sin isn't worth the price tag. Whether Amnon his sister, whether royalty commonly committed ----doesn't change the fact that what he did what sin, and he shouldn't have done it. As for examples, Jesus said to not only be careful what you do with your body, but with your mind as well. How much higher do we need to go for reinforcement of a concept? GOD said it. Good post.
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Good post Christianity for Dummies Chapter 4 Go to Church Christianity for Dummies Chapter 3 Sin and Repentence Christianity for Dummies Chapter 2 Salvation Christianity for Dummies Prologue and Chapter 1 Praying In the Heat of the Night Testimony Chapter 4 Judging and Gossiping , Commitment and Covenant For All Part 15, 16 and End Commitment and Covenant For All Part 13 and 14 , Commitment and Covenant For Men Part 11 and 12 Commitment and Covenant For Men Part 9 and 10 , Commitment and Covenant For Women Part 8 Commitment and Covenant For Women Part 7 , Commitment and Covenant For Women Part 5 6 Commitment and Covenant Relationships Part 4 , Commitment and Covenant Relationships Part 3 Commitment and Covenant Relationships Part 1 2 , Walk the Walk Self Esteemand the 8Cow Wife , I am a Christianx2026So What Now Communicating According to the Scriptures , Friend vs Spouse Christ in the cells of our body , The LoveHate list
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4/19/2008 4:36 pm |
Kristy, i can see and understand the pain you are going through and the mistakes you have made, GBY Kristy, God is with you, he will strengthen you, amen. Please remember to keep our soldiers in your prayers!!! Kristy
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4/19/2008 4:44 pm |
Michael that is true and a thought to ponder. I loved reading about Solomon and learning about his life. I too prayed for wisdom.I learned though in much wisdom is much grief,lol.Wisdom is a great thing to ask for, but he should of also prayed for knowledge and understanding.To be able to see the things of God is a blessing but to know what to do with it is another thing.God gave Solomon everything because his desire was Gods in the beginning, I believe it was the pride and lust for more that lead to his downfall.Yes he served his flesh desires more. He got outside Gods boundaries by marrying foreign women and a little leaven leavens the whole batch. GBY Please remember to keep our soldiers in your prayers!!! Kristy
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4/19/2008 4:51 pm |
Good post Kristy; You tell it like it is. I'm not sure if using when Amnon took Tamar and had sex with her is the best example for the points your are making though. Yes, it was ungodly, and immoral, but this particular story isn't about immoral sex in itself, but more of the inside story of . Contrary to popular belief, is not about sex, it's about control. The ultimate and most humbling thing any man can do to control a woman is to force her to have sex against her will. Even in the story of Amnon and Tamar this is the case. It wasn't just simply that Amnon wanted to have sex with Tamar, but he wanted that feeling of control over her that only comes from . Tamar was willing to obtain the king's blessing, and have consentual sex with him. But consentual wasn't what Amnon wanted,it was control. It is likely that the reason Amnon hated Tamar in the end was because she gave in and didn't fight him. By becoming willing and submissive on her own, would have denied him that feeling of control he would have received had she fought him all the way through. Which is how one can deflate a situation if she can't escape. One of two other misnomers here are a lot of folks read into the text that she meant that the king would give her in marriage, but it doesn't say that. It says the king wouldn't withhold her from him. Which is a nice way of saying that the king would have allowed her to become his concubine. Otherwise it would have specificly said wife. The other misnomer is a lot of folks think the problem here was . Again no it wasn't. was very common in royal families. While there were commandments against it, the people of that day didn't believe they applied to royality. So the particulars in this story is less about sexual immorality, and more about . However, that doesn't diminish from the points you made, for they are totaly valid. I can't think of any Biblical passages off hand that does make your exact point. The closest that comes to mind is in 1st Thes. 4:3-8; Please remember to keep our soldiers in your prayers!!! Kristy
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4/19/2008 4:54 pm |
The point is sound...sin isn't worth the price tag. Whether Amnon his sister, whether royalty commonly committed ----doesn't change the fact that what he did what sin, and he shouldn't have done it. As for examples, Jesus said to not only be careful what you do with your body, but with your mind as well. How much higher do we need to go for reinforcement of a concept? GOD said it. Good post. Please remember to keep our soldiers in your prayers!!! Kristy
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4/19/2008 4:56 pm |
Thanks Mia,I needed that encouragement!!!Give the beagles hugs and kisses for me,GBY Please remember to keep our soldiers in your prayers!!! Kristy
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4/19/2008 5:00 pm |
I think it applies to all the decisions we take, very often it is in the eye of the beholder, and how you interpret certain scriptures. For me, I always look at the consequences of a decision, am I willing to take the chance? I tend to act towards instant gratification, so I am extra careful. It does however not safeguard me against wrong decisions. Please remember to keep our soldiers in your prayers!!! Kristy
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4/19/2008 5:03 pm |
Jo, We all learn the hard way thats why God is so patient with us in teaching us.There are always consequences to our choices and God helps us even in those times.GBY Please remember to keep our soldiers in your prayers!!! Kristy
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4/19/2008 5:04 pm |
Good post Please remember to keep our soldiers in your prayers!!! Kristy
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4/19/2008 5:09 pm |
Jean, Good point!!!True not all marriages will end in divorce just because of that.Might be more for me,and God knows I don't want another divorce.I know hes preparing for me for the future, as he is for all of us. Great comment,Praying you feel better Sis!!!I just found out I have pnemonia so I'm able to breathe alittle better with the antibiotic I'm on.GBY Please remember to keep our soldiers in your prayers!!! Kristy
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4/19/2008 11:32 pm |
Bryon, I agree with what your saying.I appreciate your comment and it's gives a valid statement.I really believe God was showing the story and showing me what can happen when we do things outside of him and that in the case of Amnon God showed me men especially will despise the woman and think less of her with sex outside of marriage.Possibly he was showing me that for my private life so that I can truely be loved and not feel used by men.By him showing me this story he has given me the hope and courage to wait until after marriage before giving away myself as it will be a gift for my husband. I'm not a virgin obviously,lol, but it will be a gift to him nontheless by waiting.Probably put my foot in my mouth,lol.GBY The points you made are correct and godly. It's just that the example you used to make the point is not a good example of the point, although, yes it does often happen the way you said, but then sometimes it doesn't, just like Jean said. Strangely enough, as I'm reading and typing this, the movie, 'Peggy Sue Got Married,' is on TV. For those who have not seen it, and this is by the way the first time I've seen it too. It's about a middle-aged woman in 1985, with three grown children, who is on the verge of divorce with her husband of 25 years, who was her High School sweetheart that got her pregnant just before their graduation. She and her daughter attend her 25 year High School reunion, during which time she passes out, and wakes up to find she is 18 years old, in High School, in the year 1960, with full memories of her entire life. Her estranged husband is her 18 year old boyfriend. She has a chance to relive, and change her own future. She begins to try to change her own destiny, but ends up falling in love with the man she married before, all over again. She even gives herself to him again on the very night she origionally did, knowing full well all that will happen. She falls asleep in his arms, and awakens back in 1985 in a hospital, where she learns she actually died, and was brought back by CPR. She thinks it was all a dream, until her husband shows her a book dedicated to her, written by someone with whom she had a one night stand during her return to 1960, which didn't happen the first time. Yes it's just a story, and yes it's just fiction, but I have to agree with Jean. A marriage which happened because the couple fell into sin isn't neccessarily destined to fail. God is still God. Your points about men not respecting a woman who gives herself before marriage indeed is true. However, there are exceptions as well. I do believe that God was telling you something in all you wrote, and I also believe there is much in it for others of us as well. Perhaps even to the degree you indicated in some cases. But again, not every single time. You have not put your foot in your mouth, and what you will give to your next husband will be a very special gift from the depths of your heart. While it won't be your actual virginity, it is the thought that will matter most, and surely he will be a man who will see it's value. Byron Isaiah 66:2b; But to this one I will look, To him who is humble and contrite of spirit, and who trembles at My word.
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5/2/2008 7:52 pm |
true you have spoken correctly, "The two shall become one" God has shown us the importance of the covenant relationship. Sadly though many disregard the truth and seek their own desires. The true measure of character is what they do whe faced with temptation, do they seek their own pleasure or the good of the other?
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