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 | Blogs > greeneyedkat > Devoted Child of God > How young is too young? |
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 5/11/2008 6:46 pm |
18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Proverbs 5:18 KJV I often thought this ment that we should marry a person of a like age, beliefs and desires. Although age does not matter to some I still think that each generation has similar but different desires. Sharing those desires with the right person with God's blessings surely shall lead to happiness. I do not know if this helps, then again relationships are first created when God brings two people together. I pray that God will lead you in all understanding in seeking a new relationship. Always! Daniel
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5/11/2008 8:13 pm |
I would generally recommend being careful dating anyone under 30. I have been living on my own for a very long time and am someone people would generally consider to be mature (they could be wrong..lol). But I just think in your 20s it's very hard to understand all the dynamics of that type of commitment. Is it impossible? not at all. It could be that this person is looking for a woman who is serious about settling down AND Jesus Christ and you could finally be that person. I completely understand that scenario. And if that's the case, then great. But I would just take the time to make sure he is really committed and proves it before getting too deep. You seem to be interested so give him a chance, but just really get a feel for it. And as far as the poll goes, I think once it's a 15 year difference, that's could be pushing it.
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5/11/2008 8:24 pm |
While I'm open to, and was married to, someone 13 years younger than me, I find very few men of 40ish are interested in a 52 year old woman! Yet I am usually mistaken for being in that age group by those who meet me.
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5/11/2008 8:46 pm |
I think that 10-15 years age difference is too much, 25-35 age difference is insane and someone needs to see a psychiatrist, but if is under ten years, what's the big deal?.
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5/11/2008 8:49 pm |
um im 35 and i couldnt justify before GOd marrying a lady over 42-43 as reading and roses may realise...senior age kicks in around 6o.. when she is 65 she will need to be with a man who will honor her in her final 2o years ...if a man is early 50s he may not have the ability to stare that age in the face i love a christain friend of mine she is 50 ...we get on greatly but in 15 years im 50 and she is 65..you tell me what your heart says there there are no laws (within 18-65)...there are exceptions...but if some couple announce marraige with big age diff just keep to our own business and bless them all the same God will bless what HE can,,but wisdom would tend to suggest that me at 35 should be marrying 22-42 there is more scope downwrds coz its more Godly for the male to be older i beleive (as an added bonus...so that HE has a beeter chance of serving as the male leader,,and not on his mummys strings) boys (yes) in their 20s wouldnt be wise to marry 10-15 years older no rules..just my sensings my answer 6-10 years is still feasible..generally ANY OTHER INPUT? FRED
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 5/11/2008 10:20 pm |
I have dated men up to 10 years younger than me, and most of the men I have dated were at least a few years younger. I guess coz I am mentally their age anyways  . I think when you meet someone and you fall in love..sometimes age is no barrier....but sometimes it is!! The bottom line is, if you are both comfortable with it, then there should not be a problem! God bless!
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5/12/2008 5:35 am |
I'm not so concerned about age as I am about emotional maturity. In my lifetime I have learned that age gives NO indication of a person's level of emotional maturity. I think through open communication and prayer for God's divine guidance, hopefully together a couple can make a good decision about whether they would or would not be suitable as lifelong partners in marriage. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6
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5/12/2008 10:09 am |
Mary was 14 when she became pregmant with Jesus, so I dont think age matters!
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5/12/2008 11:32 am |
um im 35 and i couldnt justify before GOd marrying a lady over 42-43 as reading and roses may realise...senior age kicks in around 6o.. when she is 65 she will need to be with a man who will honor her in her final 2o years ...if a man is early 50s he may not have the ability to stare that age in the face i love a christain friend of mine she is 50 ...we get on greatly but in 15 years im 50 and she is 65..you tell me what your heart says there there are no laws (within 18-65)...there are exceptions...but if some couple announce marraige with big age diff just keep to our own business and bless them all the same God will bless what HE can,,but wisdom would tend to suggest that me at 35 should be marrying 22-42 there is more scope downwrds coz its more Godly for the male to be older i beleive (as an added bonus...so that HE has a beeter chance of serving as the male leader,,and not on his mummys strings) boys (yes) in their 20s wouldnt be wise to marry 10-15 years older no rules..just my sensings my answer 6-10 years is still feasible..generally ANY OTHER INPUT? FRED Your picture is sideways.
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5/12/2008 11:41 am |
Mary was 14 when she became pregmant with Jesus, so I dont think age matters!
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5/12/2008 3:36 pm |
depends which way your sitting as too which way my photo is...my laptop is vertical virtually blind venetian
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5/12/2008 6:48 pm |
18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Proverbs 5:18 KJV I often thought this ment that we should marry a person of a like age, beliefs and desires. Although age does not matter to some I still think that each generation has similar but different desires. Sharing those desires with the right person with God's blessings surely shall lead to happiness. I do not know if this helps, then again relationships are first created when God brings two people together. I pray that God will lead you in all understanding in seeking a new relationship. Always! Daniel
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5/12/2008 6:50 pm |
I would generally recommend being careful dating anyone under 30. I have been living on my own for a very long time and am someone people would generally consider to be mature (they could be wrong..lol). But I just think in your 20s it's very hard to understand all the dynamics of that type of commitment. Is it impossible? not at all. It could be that this person is looking for a woman who is serious about settling down AND Jesus Christ and you could finally be that person. I completely understand that scenario. And if that's the case, then great. But I would just take the time to make sure he is really committed and proves it before getting too deep. You seem to be interested so give him a chance, but just really get a feel for it. And as far as the poll goes, I think once it's a 15 year difference, that's could be pushing it. Thanks for commenting.
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5/12/2008 6:54 pm |
While I'm open to, and was married to, someone 13 years younger than me, I find very few men of 40ish are interested in a 52 year old woman! Yet I am usually mistaken for being in that age group by those who meet me. I love that picture of you! The man in question is 12 years younger than me. He takes care of 2 boys that are not his biologically but he adopted them when he married their mother. He loves them as his own. He is mature for a 28 year old but I find myself just feeling like his big sister. I thought it would be an interesting poll to take and wanted to explain to him why I feel that it would not work. We can be friends but that is it. Thanks for commenting.
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5/12/2008 7:02 pm |
um im 35 and i couldnt justify before GOd marrying a lady over 42-43 as reading and roses may realise...senior age kicks in around 6o.. when she is 65 she will need to be with a man who will honor her in her final 2o years ...if a man is early 50s he may not have the ability to stare that age in the face i love a christain friend of mine she is 50 ...we get on greatly but in 15 years im 50 and she is 65..you tell me what your heart says there there are no laws (within 18-65)...there are exceptions...but if some couple announce marraige with big age diff just keep to our own business and bless them all the same God will bless what HE can,,but wisdom would tend to suggest that me at 35 should be marrying 22-42 there is more scope downwrds coz its more Godly for the male to be older i beleive (as an added bonus...so that HE has a beeter chance of serving as the male leader,,and not on his mummys strings) boys (yes) in their 20s wouldnt be wise to marry 10-15 years older no rules..just my sensings my answer 6-10 years is still feasible..generally ANY OTHER INPUT? FRED  that have the mindset to raise 2 boys. I am sure God will bring him someone, he needs to be patient.Most of the single men in my church are younger than me. My ex is 37 but he seems immature to me now. I always say that wisdom and growth come from the Lord and that is why my ex quit maturing. Just a theory. I still don't know what I think about the 35 year old in my church. He seems rather immature in certain areas. So I think I will continue praying and just let the 28 year old know that I still feel that we would not make it for the long haul! lol Thanks for commenting.
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5/12/2008 7:06 pm |
I'm not so concerned about age as I am about emotional maturity. In my lifetime I have learned that age gives NO indication of a person's level of emotional maturity. I think through open communication and prayer for God's divine guidance, hopefully together a couple can make a good decision about whether they would or would not be suitable as lifelong partners in marriage. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. Matthew 19:6 I think that is what is appealling about the young man. But I still feel like his big sister! lol That is also the reason why I have crossed off someone that others in my church feel I should consider. He is not emotionally and spiritually mature! Thanks for commenting!
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5/12/2008 8:57 pm |
I agree with what "Precious to Him" said. Equaly mature people doesn't necasaraly mean that they are the same age. I do admit though as a man I look to have a partner that is younger than me. Thomas Regis Bell
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5/13/2008 7:09 am |
hi green eyed kat lady when i was 28 i liked a 42 year old a lot...but it woulda been a disaster because i was a mummys boy God allowed some subsequent failures after that SPECIFFICALLY to wean me off that...and break me into a sense of manhood which probably arrived by 34 the point is...manhood is different for everyone some men come into their identities remarkably early..some young male sport stars with media exposure can have remarkable compusure to deal with media,public,and success (others it destroys with addictions etc) a male can become a man at 17 eg if you took him inot the military or if he worked the land or...typically,,this generation can take a lot longer so age is only a rough guide isnt it your friend at 28 could be quite mature...if hes not and displays any signs of expecting a free ride in life..or addictive issues..or anger toward woman...watch out he may or may not know himself fully yet HOW WAS HIS FAMILY UNIT????HOW DOES HE TREAT HIS MOTHER HOW DID HE GET ALONG WITH HIS DAD mother isssues could lead for example to hatred of women father issues could led to workaholism /alcholic how is his character,,,how long has he been working for himself is he composed and secure in his manhood your role as an older woman is not to interfere in that growth process...if its there ....fine ware there any tendencies in you that leave you vulnerable to attention from a younger man...did you feel unfullfilled in YOUR twenties and are you trying to recapture that void if so is that a godly type of (re)growth or is that an unhealthy regression just food for thought im just fishing to enable you to see THAT CONTEXT IS MOReIMPORTanT THAN AGE wisdom would suggest that it may be borderline in THEORY...what GOD may say may differ 32 and 40 would be better than 28 and 40..i was late VERY late to emerge as a MAN (because of ffamily wounding on bothe sides) make sure you dont bond to him in a way that prvents his growth on the other hand...you may be younger than 40 in REAL TERMS AND HE MAY BE OLDER>>LOOK FOR THE REAL age FRED
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5/13/2008 7:18 am |
if hes willingly steeped in and co-fathered /had input into two boys well that would put him into a fairly matured 28 he would be more mature than me in some areas..in some areas im 50 and others im 25 i cant elaborate fred
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5/15/2008 2:51 pm |
Most men tend to go for younger women, I'm not sure if that gives them some kind of feeling of seniority in some way, maybe to assert themselves as being older and wiser and therefore capable of looking after the needs of a younger, less mature (in age) wife? Or, is it simply about visual appearance, that is, younger women being more pleasing to their eyes and on their arms? In any event the thought about numerical age having little bearing on emotional maturity still stands to reason...She may be younger, older or the same age but are they on par when it comes to emotional maturity? Are they ready to take on the same levels of responsibilities, and will they be able to work in harmony when facing life issues or will one be continually compromising to make up for the shortfall of the other's inability to cope with issues...Hmmmm that is too broad, but I'll leave it...
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5/16/2008 4:39 am |
For me i don't date men younger than me, i like men my own age or up to 5 years older, but i think it also matters with how educated they are also, i look at it if a man is 5 years younger i was already in school when he was born its like robbing the cradle and too much older like robbing also, but its up to the individual, one of my closet friends are married to a man 8 years younger and they are happier than most couples i have meet, my younger sister is married to a man 14 years older, younger is supposed to be better because results show women usually live 5 to 7 years more than man but weird to me, so i believe you should pray and do what God puts on your heart, even though i have dated and met men older i agree emotional maturity does not go by age as my son is nearly 17 and more mature than any man i have ever met online or off line, blessings jo
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5/16/2008 6:52 pm |
For me i don't date men younger than me, i like men my own age or up to 5 years older, but i think it also matters with how educated they are also, i look at it if a man is 5 years younger i was already in school when he was born its like robbing the cradle and too much older like robbing also, but its up to the individual, one of my closet friends are married to a man 8 years younger and they are happier than most couples i have meet, my younger sister is married to a man 14 years older, younger is supposed to be better because results show women usually live 5 to 7 years more than man but weird to me, so i believe you should pray and do what God puts on your heart, even though i have dated and met men older i agree emotional maturity does not go by age as my son is nearly 17 and more mature than any man i have ever met online or off line, blessings jo I agree. My ex is 4 years younger and when we got to our late 20s early 30s it seemed that he quit maturing. Plus I graduated from College when he graduated from High School. He never went to college and I think it caused problems with us. He seemed to always try to make me look dumb. Anyway, the man that is 12 years younger than me is a nice Christian man, but just too young. He seems more like a brother. I just wanted to see what others felt about this. Thanks for commenting.
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5/17/2008 3:54 am |
Hi everyone I dated a guy 14 years older than me, i was 26 and he was 40. He was wonderful and the age really didnt matter, till God told me very clearly that he was in my life to encourage his walk with the Lord (he was angry with God when his father died) and that he was not my life partner. This was a hard pill to swallow and i handed him back to God (he had to tease my grip away mind you!). He is no longer in my life now and i dont know about his walk with God, but in God knowing the desires of my heart he quickly gave me a new focus......my relationship with him!....ouch. Realistically....Such an age gap risks being alone for longer when they are gone and for them to be alone longer when you are gone (i know morbid thought, but a real risk), but then another side of me also belives why not spend 20 blessed years with the right one then 40 with the wrong one! another risk also. At the end of the day......there should be no poll, Gods answer is the only one you need as God made us all individuals with different goals and differing purposes for each and every life so our responses will be different. But it is interesting to read that all of us have experiences that shape our thoughts in the today regarding age gaps! Lay your question before him, hand this man back into Gods hands. He knows the desires of your heart. He may be needing to do a work in you before he allows you to move on...... this may be a 'thus sayeth the Lord' to you. Its tough being alone when human nature dicates we should be with another, i feel it everyday. He fills me with grace when i get lonely but The Lords path is the happy path, seek him and ye shall find. God Bless x
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5/25/2008 11:42 pm |
Well I have determined even more though that my young man is not the one for me. He is mature but not spiritually as mature as I am looking for.
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